Giving Each Other Space
Very early in the morning, while it was still dark,
Jesus got up, left the house and went off
to a solitary place, where he prayed.
Mark 1:35
While it is important to spend time together as a couple, it is also wise to take time away to rejuvenate. Making time for yourself will also enrich your relationships. You will find that giving each other space is a good thing. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder.
Cindi & Hugh found this truth out in their marriage as well, even allowing the other to travel alone. While traveling solo would not interest me, it worked in their marriage. Cindi was unable to go on the trip due to her speaking engagements, but Hugh really needed this time away due to stresses in his life. This was a wonderful gift that Cindi gave to her husband. My husband and I enjoy taking trips together, so if one were not able to go, we would just postpone the trip until our schedules allowed us to travel together. However, there are other ways that we take time to ourselves while giving each other space. Today we did that very thing.
My husband enjoys tinkering with his classic car. We have a 69 Camaro, and we have been wanting to fix it up for the past few years. We purchased a bunch of parts recently to get him started on the interior, as the exterior is in pretty good shape from when he restored it many years ago. It has been preserved by being kept in our shop for all of these years. My husband and I belong to a classic car club in town, and we are having our annual car show this coming weekend. Our goal is to have this car at the show! In order to do that, he needed to devote time to working on the interior. We just had a couple’s day Saturday where we went trail riding together on our horses, so Sunday was the perfect day to devote to his car while I devoted time to my writing. We had our much needed time away to rejuvenate, and at the end of the day, we looked forward to reconnecting. He shared the progress he made on the car, and I shared my writing with him. This worked perfectly for us.
While we enjoy the great outdoors together going horseback riding and fishing, I do realize that he will need alone time in the great outdoors as well. Hunting is just not my thing, but he enjoys it. This is something he can do alone and enjoy himself. He will feel the stress relief while sitting in the deer stand waiting on the big one to step out.
I enjoy massages. While that isn’t the same as being alone in the middle of the forest, I enjoy the relaxing atmosphere as I lay there listening to the soft music playing while the stress is worked out of every muscle in my body. The massage therapist is quiet as she works her magic, and I feel like I’m in heaven for that hour that I’m in there. I leave refreshed and rejuvenated.
This works for us. While these are just a few ideas, find what works for your marriage. It’s important to talk to your mate first, though, so they will not feel that time away means time away from them. Reassure your mate that you are not asking for time away because they’ve done something wrong or something that bugged you. Let them know that you’re not angry with them. Simply put, you just need time away to recharge your batteries. Even Jesus needed time away, as stated in the bible verse at the beginning of the post!
Join us tomorrow for … Extending Grace.
Buy the book on Amazon: When Couples Walk Together: 31 Days to a Closer Connection
Previously in this series:
Introduction: A New Journey
Day One: Enjoying The Journey
Day Two: Leaving Self On The Shelf
Day Three: From Tense To Tender
Day Four: Praising The Positive
Day Five: The Power of A Note
Melissa
October 6, 2014 @ 1:27 pm
I agree. My husband and I used to spend every possible minute together, then we learned the value of spending some time apart. He doesn’t need as much alone time as I do. He’ll go to a game–or just run errands–with our son, which gives me quiet time to read and write. It gives them time together, too, so it’s a win-win.
Shirley
October 6, 2014 @ 2:44 pm
I really like what you shared, Melissa. Yes, it is a win-win for all! Thank you for visiting with us today and sharing your thoughts!