Shirley is the proud mother of two beautiful young ladies. She enjoys spending time with them on their ranch in the deep South with their three paint horses. Always looking for an adventure, she looks forward to hikes in the mountains chasing waterfalls, or scouring the coast for beautiful lighthouses! Shirley writes to encourage others and often times shares things that motivate and inspire her. She believes in living life to the fullest because no one is promised the gift of another day. Join her as we honor our bodies, minds, hearts, souls, and our Almighty Creator, God above!
Our family has had a situation play out within the past few months that have been extremely painful for us all to process. There seemed to be an elephant in the room, although no one wanted to ever acknowledge it. We knew something wasn’t quite right, and yet every time we tried to address it, it was brushed aside once more. Nothing ever gets resolved when this happens.
The days of tiptoeing around this elephant in the room turned into weeks, then months, and ultimately years of denying there was an elephant at all. Yet, in the back of our minds, we knew. We saw, we felt, and we lived side by side with this elephant.
By now you may be wondering exactly where I am going with this and what, exactly, am I talking about here. You may even be scratching your head right now while asking, “What is the elephant in the room that she’s referring to?” It is my husband’s addiction to pornography. Before you gasp and shy away from this post, please hear me out and see how this has affected us all. It has been extremely painful, and yet, I feel the story needs to be told.
Click here to continue reading over on Jennifer Dukes Lee’s site, author of Love Idol: Letting Go of Your Need For Approval And Seeing Yourself Through God’s Eyes, where Shirley is the PreApproved Writer of The Week. There you will find the rest of my story and how we are crushing the idol, once and for all, as well as a book at the end that Jennifer recommends to help those who have suffered through a spouse’s pornography addiction.
This is the most wonderful time of the year, in my opinion. There is a crisp coolness in the air that lets you know that Thanksgiving and Christmas are on their way.
Several of my Facebook friends started at the beginning of November with their, “I am thankful for …” posts. They intend to write what they are thankful for each day on their Facebook status until November 30th. This is wonderful and definitely sets your day off in the right direction when you take time to appreciate the things that you do have in this life. I applaud everyone that is sharing with a grateful heart during the month of November, but why stop there? Why meditate on the things that you are grateful for only in the month of November? Wouldn’t it be better if we all got into the mindset of being grateful and thankful each and every day? Imagine the difference this would make and the change of perspective you would have in your daily life if you would intentionally put on the attitude of gratitude!
We are so blessed in this life. We have far more than we ever truly need, and yet we seem restless at times. We seek to gain more, which doesn’t enhance our character or make us people of integrity. It only makes us people with more material possessions! You could have all of the money in the world, a mansion on a hill with a garage full of every kind of “toy” ever made, and yet you would not feel complete. Money does not buy happiness. Money cannot fill your heart, but love can. And who better to fill your heart with love than our Heavenly Father. We love because He first loved us!
If you surround yourself with people that support you, uplift you, and encourage you that’s half the battle right there! With your own personal team of cheerleaders in your corner, ie: your family, you know that they believe in you and have faith in your abilities no matter what comes your way in life. If you ever had anything to be grateful for – that’s it right there! That should be on the very top of your list! So often we take those closest to us for granted. Don’t. They deserve to be treated as the jewels that they are! Value, treasure, appreciate, and be grateful for them!
As we go into this holiday season, consider all of the things that you have to be grateful for that money cannot buy.
They are there looking at you with those bright beautiful deep blue eyes each morning as you gently wake them from their slumber to get ready for school.
They are there each evening as you kiss them gently on their forehead as you stroke their long blond hair and give “just one more” mini facial as their eyes get heavy and they drift off to sleep.
They are there each morning as the sun rises in brilliant colors as God, The Greatest Artist of All Time, paints a masterpiece. And they are there as the sun sets in the evening as all grows quiet, and we stand in awe of all of God’s creations.
From the simplest things such as the air we breathe to the food we eat; the shelter over our heads and the clothes on our backs; for the gift of another day to share with our loved ones and hear their laughter once more. We have so much to be grateful for.
We are blessed in this life!
This post was inspired by the prompt word of “Grateful” given by Karen as part of Tuesday At Ten. Join her for this link up to build community! Karen visits everyone that links up and comments on their page to show her appreciation for your participation.
The U.S. Department of Veteran’s Affairs states quite nicely what the focus of Veteran’s Day is truly about:
” A celebration to honor America’s veterans for their patriotism, love of country, and willingness to serve and sacrifice for the common good.”
They have written a very nice article on their website regarding the history of Veteran’s Day. Please click here to be taken to their very informative website.
Today, we honor all of the men and women who have served in the armed forces. My dad, Granddad, and father-in-law are among the list of veteran’s that should receive special recognition today especially! Please, we strongly urge you to recognize a veteran today. Thank them for their service to our great country!
In our town, we have A Veteran’s Memorial Park which pays tribute to all those that served. Very early on in this project, my husband and I purchased bricks in honor of our family members that served in the military to be placed in this park. Their names and the capacity in which they served will be displayed for generations to come to recognize and honor them.
November is Lung Cancer Awareness Month. I would like to take this time to tell you a little bit about a man that impacted my life. This man was Steve Caswell.
I first met Steve as part of an interview for a position at his company. Being an extremely busy man, he only had a few minutes to devote to the interview process. He struck me as the type of person that was extremely smart and definitely one that demanded to be the center of attention. Later as I got to know him, he was always one that would calm any disagreements and would become the moderator who would make it a win/win situation for all no matter how the disagreement began. It would end with everyone working together as part of the same team as it should have been.
Steve was a modest person, even calling himself a “dumb plumber,” never boasting of his talents or knowledge although he was one of the owners of the company. He graduated at the top of his class in the Engineering Field, so he was anything but a “dumb plumber!” He wore a lot of different “hats” in his position. Not only did he handle the day to day operations, but he had several side businesses.
Most importantly, Steve was a family man with five children and a wife that he adored. He had strong faith and did not hesitant to share it with others. He would do random acts of kindness for individuals with one example being to help fund someone’s college tuition when the person wasn’t sure how they would be able to go to college or complete the year due to finances. Steve did all of these acts of kindness without wanting any recognition at all. He preferred to remain anonymous with only the individual knowing that their needs had been met.
Steve organized trucks and manpower from the state of South Carolina to drive through the night to help hurricane victims when Hurricane Katrina tore through Louisiana. He did not just pay for supplies and send the people. Steve was among those working and serving to help others in need.
I had the privilege of working with Steve for ten years. One of the biggest things that stuck with me the most about Steve was his faith. Not only did he say it, but he put actions behind his words. He was a believer, and he did not hesitant when the opportunity arose to share his faith with others.
Steve was diagnosed with non smokers lung cancer on December 11, 2007. Although Steve began to struggle due to his health declining, Steve still had strong faith. He had a page on the Caring Bridge site where he wrote his thoughts during his illness. He was not one to complain, but rather, he would write encouraging words, often quoting scriptures in what he would write. He knew that others were reading, and he wanted to leave behind words to uplift and help people hold on. His words were a living testimony. He truly walked by faith at that time. He never gave up, even in the mist of suffering. He clung tightly to his Jesus.
The doctors only gave Steve six months to live, but because Steve was a fighter, he managed to hold on for ten months. Even in his final days when he was really struggling, he made several telephone calls to people to make sure that if there were any wrongs, he was going to make it right while he still had time. Further, if you went to encourage Steve with your words, he would always find a way to turn it around to where he was the one speaking to your heart encouraging you in life despite his struggles. He made one such call to me, and I will never forget the call that I received on Labor Day weekend.
I was lucky enough to visit with Steve one last time in the hospital when he had gotten really bad. I was only allowed a few minutes, but I wanted to let Steve know how much he meant to me. When I asked what I could do to help, his only response was to pray for them. A lot of people say that they will do it, but I took that opportunity to pray with him right there that very moment in that hospital room. That is something that will forever stay with me.
When I went to leave his hospital room, we waved as we always did. The look in his eyes let me know that this would be the very last time that I would see my friend, boss, and mentor. Steve passed away the very beginning of October in 2008.
Steve impacted so many people’s lives, as evident by the Celebration of Life Service that was held in Steve’s memory. They played a video of his life with his children, his wife, and with his parents and brother. They showed this so we could all remember Steve in this way and not how we last saw him in the hospital. Our last memories of Steve were with him laughing and enjoying life with his family. The way it should be.
I wanted to share Steve’s story with you today, especially since November is Lung Cancer Awareness Month. As noted above, Steve had non smokers lung cancer. Some people do get this rare type of cancer; however, if you are using any type of tobacco product, I would like to encourage you to kick the habit if at all possible. Get as much help as you can when you’re trying to get rid of this bad habit, but please stop the use of any type of tobacco product. They contain harmful chemicals that will affect your health.
For me, personally, I used to chew tobacco. I tried to quit several times but used the excuse that the stresses in life caused me to go back to this nasty habit. However, when I truly got serious about it, and I wanted to rid myself of this habit, I found that I did have a support team that would encourage me and help me along the way – none other than my very own family: my wife and my children.
Steve was a health nut prior to his diagnoses. He worked out and ate right, yet he still got this rare form of cancer. It opened my eyes to the fact that I was putting harmful chemicals into my body and needed to stop. The sooner the better! And any time I picked this habit back up, Steve would come to mind, and I knew that this was not something that I needed to be doing. Thankfully, I have kicked this habit once and for all. You can, too, no matter what tobacco product you are using!
Your life is precious. Consider kicking whatever bad habits you may have to prolong your life and ensure many more days of laughter and joy with your family. They’re worth it!
A Tribute To Steve Caswell was written by Dusty … Shirley’s husband. Dusty is a huge Elvis fan, a real cowboy, and my hunka-hunka-burning love. 🙂
Things haven’t been right in a while. There have been struggles … lots of struggles … and happiness? That seems like something in the past that will never return again, or if it does, it will only be for a fleeting moment.
Don’t you think it’s time for a change?
Isn’t it time to return the heartache and pain in exchange for joy and love in our hearts once again?
TURN THE PAGE!
Only … allow it to be better this time than ever before. While the sins of the past have been repented of and forgiveness given by God’s grace, let’s put it all behind us. Cast the hurt and pain aside. Write it all down and burn the pages if you must, but rid yourself of all that has been tagging along stealing your joy, happiness, and intimate moments with your family. Anger has no place here, neither does destruction.
It’s time for new beginnings. For a fresh start.
The pages of the book are crisp and clean … white … just waiting for you to write the next chapter of our lives together.
Begin writing a new chapter, focusing on our happily ever after!
Light of the world, You stepped down into darkness …
We used to sing this in church on Sunday mornings. Swaying as the music enveloped us and the words flowed freely from our lips. Looking up to the ceiling as if looking right through it and up to Heaven, the congregation was filled with others lifting up their voices in song.
Have you truly ever stopped to consider what it is that you’re singing? Have you given it any thought? Or were you just singing along to the old familiar song because everyone else was doing the same?
Light of the world …
That is Jesus! He is the light of the world:
Jesus stepped out into this fallen world to save us all from our sins. His brilliant and beautiful light is inside of each believer’s heart shining brightly for all the world to see, if we only accept Him into our hearts as our Lord and Savior.
John 8:12 When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said,
“I am the light of the world.
Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness,
but will have the light of life.”
Does it bring you great comfort as it does me to know that Jesus now lives within our hearts? When you feel as if you could get swallowed whole by the darkness in the world, does it reassure you when you consider that the light of the world is with you?
This verse speaks truth and life! Think about it!
As I was taking a moonlit horseback ride with my sweet companion last night, I stopped to think of us being guided by the light of the moon and stars. It occurred to me that Jesus is our light and He is leading the way, if we only allow Him to do so.
Right there under the vastness of the sky, I drew in a deep breath and paused to look up at the Heavens to thank the Light of the world …
I imagined the twinkle in the eyes of Jesus with every twinkling star that I saw.
My most favorite piece of jewelry is an oval shaped pendant with stars all over it. When I wear this necklace, I am reminded of the true light of Jesus and how I’m held to a higher standard now that He is living within me. I am to show the world His light in my life …
This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine …
Just like the old childhood song we used to sing, I am going to let the light of Jesus shine brightly for all the world to see.
Won’t you join me?
What if believers every where banned together, holding hands across the Nation, as we look to the Heavens, thanking God for His everlasting light, vowing to let our little lights shine …
You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.
When you feel lost, seek Him out … call upon the name of the Lord, and you will find Him there waiting on you. Oh how he loves it when you call out to Him. When you speak His name and ask for His help. When you wish to see His hand upon your life, seek, and you shall find Him!
What I especially love are the verses that speak of seeking him with all of your heart and soul or seeking with all of your heart. There is a difference in saying, “Okay, God, where are you?” and crying out to Him, “Oh God, I need You! Show Your mighty presence in my life. Let me see Your hand guiding, shielding, and protecting me on this path. Change me, oh Lord, to be a better person! Oh Father, shine Your love upon my heart. Forgive me of my wicked ways and transform me! I turn from my sins and focus my mind and heart on YOU, oh Lord!”
In October, we focused our entire 31 days on marriage tips to help build intimacy and a closer connection with your spouse.
Now I’d like to break down a few things that have the potential to ruin a marriage:
*Insecurities – If your spouse suffers from low self esteem, they will have plenty of insecurities. Which will lead us directly into the second item that I’d like to discuss which is …
*Jealousy – If the green eyed monster rears his ugly little head in your marriage or in your relationships, do your best to put him in his place! Show him the door! While a little bit of jealousy is a good thing because it shows that you do care about your spouse and want them to be yours and yours alone, too much jealousy can ruin a marriage! If you become possessive and are easily angered, squash the green eyed monster as fast as you can!
*Lack of Communication – If you can’t wait to call up your friend and tell them everything that is going on within your marriage yet you fail to talk that openly with your spouse, there is a huge problem! If you stone-wall and close your partner out of your heart and will not talk things out with them, nothing will ever be resolved! Don’t shut them out! Instead, take it to God first … pray about it … and then, take it to your spouse! While I’m sure your friends mean well and will offer support, the one you need to be speaking to about all of the problems in your marriage is not your friend but your spouse!
*Trust – If trust has been broken in your marriage, you will have a long road ahead of you. It takes a LOT of time to rebuild and regain trust once it has been lost. Do not lie or keep secrets from your spouse. Also, omitting details is deceitful and a form of betrayal. Be very careful here!
*Assumptions – This is where the lack of communication gets things all out of whack! If you aren’t talking to your spouse, it leaves you with nothing but your thoughts that have gone wild thinking the absolute worst! That is when the devil loves to place doubt and whisper lies in your ear. Pretty soon, you’re making assumptions, then you’re accusing, and no good will ever come of this!
*Pornography – Guard your eyes, your mind, and your heart. If you focus your attention and affections on your spouse, you wouldn’t have time nor the desire to look at such trash! “Be careful little eyes what you see …” It’s not just a cute little song, it’s the truth! You should only long for and desire your spouse! If you are lusting after any one else, you are sinning in your heart and mind against your spouse and against GOD! “Give us clean hands … give us pure hearts, oh Lord!” Again, not just a song, a plea we all need to make and then ensure that we guard what we look at … ask yourself if it’s honoring your spouse. Better yet, think of how you’d feel if your spouse were viewing such things in private while withholding their affections and intimacy from you! You wouldn’t like it one little bit, now would you?
*Flirting – This is where a lot of people don’t have a clear understanding of what flirting truly is. There’s plenty that fall into this category. However, just to be clear … if you stare or look more than a glance at someone, that can be viewed as flirting. If you touch someone playfully on the arm, that can be viewed as flirting. If you laugh and give all of your attention to someone other than your spouse, be careful because you’re on a slippery slope … and this is most definitely flirting!
*Not Having Clear Personal Boundaries – Now this is where we really need to focus! If you have clear personal boundaries, the above will NOT be an issue. You won’t be tempted to go to lunch with a coworker of the opposite sex … alone … to just talk … or laugh … or have a drink after work. This is when you need clear personal boundaries so you aren’t putting your arms around people you don’t know to have your picture taken at their request if you’re out in a group setting or not. If your spouse is within reach, insist that they are in the picture, too! Or simply say no and walk away if they aren’t … because you know in this day and age that your picture will show up on someone’s newsfeed on Facebook. How would your spouse feel if they stumbled upon your picture with another woman or another man? Innocent or not … do not give the appearance of evil.
The above are just a few things that ruin a marriage. What can you do? I’m glad you asked!
*The golden rule truly does still apply:
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
A lot of times people simply cannot see themselves until you mirror their actions and behaviors back to them. Then and only then will they have an “Ah ha moment” and begin to see the light and the error of their ways. Some times this is necessary to make them see themselves. I did just that recently, and it sent a very clear message to my spouse and opened his eyes.
*Focus on your spouse. If you’re tempted to look at someone else, turn to your spouse and focus on them, instead. If you’re tempted to think bad thoughts or lustful thoughts of another, turn your thoughts to those of your spouse and all the things you love and enjoy about them. Truth be told, if you were 100% committed to your spouse, this would NOT even be an issue!
*Keep the lines of communication open. Talk, talk, talk … and talk some more!! Do not share anything of an emotional nature exclusively with your friends or coworkers of the opposite sex. Go to your spouse with all things, especially things on an emotional level!
*Do not put yourself into a situation where you will be tempted! If you find yourself there, quickly make your way to the nearest exit! It IS possible to resist temptation! Even Jesus was tempted in the bible, yet He did not give in! Ask yourself what Jesus would do … and ask yourself how your spouse would feel if they found out or consider how YOU would feel if your spouse was doing the same thing you’re considering doing or are currently doing! Ouch! If it would hurt you if your spouse was doing it, you KNOW what you’re doing without a doubt would most certainly hurt your spouse!
Think on that!
We want all marriages to thrive! God ordained your marriage. He put you two together. You committed yourself willingly “til death do us part.” Don’t take that lightly. Be intentional about your marriage! Focus on each other, and there won’t be time for any other to try to weasel their way into your lives!
***Most importantly*** Turn your eyes upon Jesus … get your heart right with God first … your spouse second, and your marriage will be successful.
There is a new CD out by Taylor Swift that we just purchased entitled 1989. This was a good year for me, as it was the year that I graduated from high school. I was a small town girl with big hopes and dreams going out into the cruel world. And it has been just that … cruel. My daughter is coming up on her 18th birthday, and pretty soon she, too, will be graduating from high school going out into the cruel world. The thought of it makes me sad … sad because she has grown up way too fast but also sad in that she will know too soon the sorrow and pain that come with growing up and leaving the nest. Whether it’s off to college or off to work, or a mixture of both, I know that I can no longer shelter her or protect her as I have tried so hard to do up to this point.
On Taylor’s new CD is a song called All You Had To Do Was Stay. It talks of a love gone wrong where the man said, “Goodbye.” Taylor reminds him in the lyrics of her song, “This is what you wanted …” and says repeatedly, “All you had to do was … stay.”
Why is it so hard to do just that? I’m not referring to my daughter going off to college or out into the work force – she has a bright future ahead of her, and I want her to spread her wings to fly! She has her whole life ahead of her, and I am very excited to see where her path will take her. I am speaking more of “love” … “romance” … all of that jazz. Why is it so hard for people to commit to each other in this day and age and STAY together? Why is the answer to always … leave? It also happens with friendships as well.
I have had my fair share of heartaches and pain in this life. I have had people come into my life and leave again. I have had people threaten to leave. I have had people pack their bags and head out the door. In the past, I have asked them to come back … I have even asked them not to leave when they went to attempt to leave once more after they had returned twice already. Now when the threat looms of someone abandoning me, I just simply say, “Oh … you’re leaving again …” and continue what I’m doing. Why get upset? If someone wants to leave me, LET THEM! There’s the door, sweetheart! Whether it’s my husband who has been struggling with his own demons after uncovering his secret life and addiction, or whether it’s friends that no longer wish to be around … go! There’s the door. I wish you all well on your path in life, even if I’m not a part of it.
This is me saying that I will no longer beg any one to stay in my life. Period. If you want to be a part of it, then stop doing things that strip away my sense of security, stability, and safety and that of my children. I don’t care who you are, threatening to leave or leaving is abandoning us … it is abandonment, plain and simple.
So go … once and for all … GO, if that is your wish!
Just remember … this is what you wanted … when all you had to do was … stay.
What gets me is that they, then, want to turn it around on you … YOU are now the bad guy. Why? Because you no longer crumble at the thought of them not being a part of your life. You have come to the realization that they truly don’t wish to be a part of your present or future, so you’ve accepted it and are waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Go ahead.
Lay it on me.
I’m ready.
BRING IT!
Can you deal with the consequences of your actions? You have taken a loyal and dedicated person who would have done anything for you and through your actions and the way you’ve mistreated them, they just don’t give a good gosh darn any more.
Are you proud of yourself?
Think before you speak of leaving … think before you reach for your bag and walk out the door just because you’re angry at the moment. Your anger and addictions are destroying our family.
Think before you take your friendship and go home. Especially at a time when you KNOW we need you the most.
This is not a revolving door … not to my house … not to my heart … and not to my children’s hearts either.
Stay and be a better husband, friend, whatever role you have in our lives … or leave and watch us thrive … because we will. With or without you. We will.
As the cold winds blow through here in the South, we reflect on all things Fall.
From haunted houses to little ghosts and goblins that were wandering around neighborhoods Friday night, to hayrides, pumpkin patches and pumpkin carvings, to corn mazes and even SNOW … yep, that’s right! We had SNOW Saturday morning on the very first day of November. We could hardly believe it, but a cold front moved in on Friday night and come Saturday morning there was a mixture of rain and snow. The temperatures weren’t such where it would stick, but it was enough to get the little kiddos excited, wide eyed, and bouncing around in amazement as the pretty white stuff floated effortlessly to the ground where it quickly disappeared at our house.
Halloween 2014 Zombies, Pirates, & Elvis … oh my!
Fall is such a beautiful time of year. People flock to the mountains in our area to catch the leaves changing to soak in the array of colors that decorate the mountains and forests. It is just breathtakingly beautiful. I especially enjoy the burgundy colors of the leaves. Those are my favorites. I was able to capture the first signs of Fall on the back of my horse as we rode through the forest on a trail recently.
Burgundy, my favorite of all!
It is a great feeling to just take a deep breath in and allow the coolness in the air to coat your lungs, revitalizing and energizing you, if you let it.
As the trees shed their leaves, what things in your life can you let go of? As the seasons change, do you need to make a change within your heart and your life? Now is as good of time as any.
Consider how you’ve been feeling this year. Have you felt broken and beat down like so many have? Do you feel weary and just plain physically and emotionally drained? Friend, I’m here to tell you, there’s more to life than misery! God wants you to be happy. Things happen in our lives that threaten to steal every bit of joy in our hearts and lives. I know this firsthand that if a person in your life is not happy, if they are absolutely miserable with themselves, they will try to bring you down right along with them. It is completely true that misery loves company. Hold on a little longer, a little tighter, and on your darkest days know that God is right there with you.
As the leaves begin to fall … have you thought about where the path you’re on is leading you? Will you continue doing the same things over and over again hoping for a different result? Or will you make a decision today to just stop the madness? You can make a change in your life. Ask God to come alongside of you. Better yet, ask God to take the lead.
I know at times you grow weary with all of the diaper changes, feedings, and sleepless nights. I truly do understand. I was there, too! But, I have good news! This, too, shall pass! Moms, your work is not going unnoticed at this point in time, although it may feel like it. You are working toward a greater goal. You will get there, and one day soon you will see a light at the end of the tunnel! It only gets better and better! I promise!
I absolutely love being a mother to two beautiful girls! My oldest daughter is 17 years old, while my youngest daughter is ten years old.
I’ve been through all of the late night feedings, blow out diaper changes, colic, and RSV (with my youngest being hospitalized with this at just two months old – very scary, I’ll have you know!).
I’ve been through teething, potty training, the biting stage my oldest daughter went through when she was in daycare (yikes!), to same day surgery when my oldest daughter when she had an accident on a slide at the playground. The same day surgery I mentioned with my oldest daughter on a slide at the playground.The child who went down before her hadn’t yet gotten up, but decided to do so right as my daughter approached the end of the slide! The top of the child’s head caught my daughter’s chin as she was sliding down to the end while the other child stood up! Believe me, ladies, this is NOT a phone call you want to receive! “There was an accident, and she’s bleeding …” That is ALL I heard before I threw the phone down and raced as fast as I could to the daycare to see my daughter’s tongue laying open. Off to the Ear, Nose, & Throat Specialist we went who said they could stitch it in their office without putting my daughter under, OR I could opt to do same day surgery which would be less traumatic. Um, the latter, PLEASE!! Even that was traumatic, though, as I went into the recovery room afterwards to see my precious little girl laying there with an IV in her little arm and tongue stitched up, still groggy from the surgery yet strong willed enough to insist the IV be taken out. It couldn’t be, of course, at that point in time, but she tried everything to get us to take it out. She cried, and we cried with her…finally realizing the biggest discomfort was the piece of tape they wrapped around her arm. Who would have thought something so simple would have been such a big source of pain? I was able to remove it, and she was finally able to rest.
Oh yes, ladies, I’ve seen a lot through the years with my girls.
When I was pregnant with my youngest, we received a phone call from the school that my oldest daughter was playing on the playground when another accident happened! Oh dear! My poor daughter was, once again, just trying to have fun when it went in the wrong direction. She was playing on the monkey bars. She was proudly making her way across when she lost her grip and crashed to the ground…but not before her little mouth hit the top of another child’s head, knocking her two front teeth out! I cringe every time I think of this day. I was very much nine months pregnant and received the phone call. We rushed to her side and found her now toothless smile greeting us as we entered the office. This little girl was THRILLED at her new look. Her parents, not so much!! Check out the picture of my darling daughter holding her new sister, both showing their little gums as they smiled for the camera a few months after. I didn’t think her permanent teeth would ever come in, but thank God it was only her baby teeth that were knocked out by the accident!
We’ve had multiple tea parties through the years with both of my girls, played dress up, and had “silly time” while dancing around to music from a ballerina pop up jewelry box (my husband included,even dancing around with a tutu…that’s just what daddies do). An all time favorite memory of mine is last August right before school started back. We intended on making the most of the last little bit of summer that we had left. My youngest daughter and I had a tea party where we dressed up in almost matching attire. Ah, but the outfit surely was not complete without our heels and crowns. We were the Queen and the Princess at the Royal Palace having tea with our pinky fingers fully extended, of course. Oh, we had a great time that day! Thankfully, my oldest daughter captured this “Kodak moment.”
Through the years with my oldest, we’ve gone through experimenting with makeup, the right age to start shaving your legs, and painting nails over and over again (I’m pretty sure we’re professionals now!). My youngest daughter has now reached the age to where she’s inquiring as to when she, too, can shave her legs. Oh, Heaven help us! She’s practicing applying makeup, too, putting on her mascara right alongside us. I don’t let her wear it out, usually, but it is funny watching her parade around after she’s “put on her face.”
My parents, who have always been such an active and important part of my daughters’ lives, have shared in these moments with them as well. They are so incredibly close to their grandparents, and it thrills my heart completely!
We’ve been through the whole right of passage of my oldest daughter getting her permit and driver’s license. THAT is a scary experience. Imagine your daughter (or son) years from now behind the wheel for the very first time while you sit beside her (or him). I promise your foot will go through the floorboard as you try to apply the brakes FOR them. Luckily we survived, and I have to say she is a very good driver now and is responsible behind the wheel. We have a while before we have to worry about that with my youngest daughter. Thank you, God!
And now…with my oldest daughter, we are looking at colleges and shopping for prom dresses! She’s a Senior and this is a very important year in her life. She graduates in May of 2015. Oh my! How can this be?! We just ordered her cap, gown, and graduation invitations as well as her Senior portraits! It’s happening … faster than I’d like it to!
My youngest daughter is in fourth grade. I am perfectly fine with that as I do NOT want my children to grow up so fast and am actually thankful that they ARE so far apart in age right now! Time is just moving way too quickly for my liking. I truly find myself asking, “Where did the time go?!”
I’ve vowed not to be too clingy with my youngest daughter as my oldest daughter seeks her independence and self-identity apart from me. That is hard, ladies. Let me just tell you … that is so very hard!
But I’m getting a second chance here to do all of these fun, and scary, things again with my youngest daughter. Yes, I get to experiment with hair and makeup with her, too! I get to watch her get all dolled up with sparkly earrings and lacy dresses, just for her to strip it all off and go straight to her jeans, cowgirl boots, tee-shirt, and hat as she goes outside to get her horse ready to ride.
I get to watch her in this in-between-stage right now. She still likes to use her imagination to play, and she loves to imitate what she sees in a movie. She had a bow and arrow like the character in Brave, and now she pretends she’s in The Hunger Games. I love how she puts her heart and soul into her play, too.
And then, there is her very serious side as she’s making ten her own. She’s growing, she’s learning, she’s exploring, and she is becoming her own person with her unique personality. She makes me smile so wide and melts my heart as I watch her in action. She is also very serious when it comes to her ponies, Petunia & Trigger! She is the best little cowgirl around, too!
Right now she still wants to cuddle with me. Pretty soon she will slip into the “don’t show affection in front of my friend’s, Mom” mode. Oh Lordy, help me when that happens. But, for now, I am enjoying every single moment when she wants to come sit next to me, cuddle with me, and share a blanket with me as we snuggle in to watch a movie. It is rare that I have these moments with my 17 year old, but when I do, I still treasure them! It means the world to me to be able to spend time with my girls and to know that they actually want to spend time with ME, too!!
I am very proud of both of my girls! I will share more with you about my journey with these two Girly Girls and Tom Boys in future posts.
For now, I’ll leave you with these words:
Brace yourself, ladies! The best is yet to come! Hold on tight and enjoy the ride!
When the path leads you home, after all of these years together and you have lived with your spouse “til death do us part …” what legacy will you leave behind?
This is a sad chapter for me to write on. It is sad because this is the last chapter and last day in this series, but it is so much more than that. It goes deeper in that this chapter talks of when you get to the end of your life and you go on home to be with the Lord. It is sad for me to think of leaving my children behind. It is sad to think of me leaving my spouse or having my spouse leave me to go on home. It is sad as I sit and write this thinking of my parents who have been together close to 50 years and how they have shared everything together all of this time. One day they will be forced to walk alone in life unless the Lord calls them both home at the same time.
I think of my grandmother who lost her husband and how lonely she was when she was forced to face life alone without him after he passed away. She lived on several years after his passing, 12 years to be exact, but she loved him and missed him so. She was so incredibly lonely. While their marriage was not perfect and while they had their share of strife, they found a way to work it out and stay together. They were best friends, and they did everything together. They enjoyed retirement years together, and then one day, he fell ill all of a sudden and was rushed to the hospital by ambulance where it was later discovered by the hospital staff that he had an aneurysm. They operated, but he developed more bleeds in the brain. There wasn’t anything more the staff could do, and pretty soon a decision had to be made as to whether to discontinue the life support. This was a decision that my grandma did not want to make, and so she called in her three children for them to make the decision together. My dad did not want any part in this, and so he allowed my grandma and his brother and sister to make this decision while he prayed for a miracle. Sadly, my granddaddy passed away a short time after they took him off of life support. Through all of this, though, my grandmother did not leave my grandfather’s side. She said she had been with him all of these years, she was not going to leave him now. And so she stayed as long as she possibly could … until she was forced to leave the cold hospital room … without her life companion.
When we are fighting and fussing with each other, do we stop to think that all of our days are numbered? None of us know if we will see tomorrow. We don’t know if we’ll be one of the lucky ones that live well into our 80s like my grandmother did, or if we’ll be called home at an early age. We hope we have a long life ahead of us and that God will allow us to be here to see our children grow up, graduate, go to college, get married, and start a family of their own. We pray that God will allow us more time to be with our families, our children, our grandchildren, and to one day hopefully see our great grandchildren. But, none of us are promised the gift of another day.
Lay your foundation early on in your marriage. Commit yourselves to each other and to making it work! Giving up is not an option. Staying together no matter what comes your way should be your top priority. Love like Jesus – for we love because He first loved us!
Leave a beautiful legacy behind for your children to talk about long after you’re gone. Give them something to boast about with their children as they talk of how they witnessed the love you two shared and how you two did special things for each other. Let them be a witness to you walking hand in hand and heart to heart into your golden years together as best friends, partners in life, and life long companions. Let them be a witness to your living happily ever after.
If you have been on the fence during this 31 day series and not sure what direction you should take with your marriage, we hope that this series has been an encouragement to you to keep fighting the good fight. Hold on a little longer, a little tighter, and pray for your spouse and your marriage. Pray together, and ask God to help you in your marriage. When things look bleak, remember … all things are possible with God!
What are some things that you have held inside of your heart all of this time and just haven’t spoken to your spouse? What are some things that you’ve had on your heart that you really need to say? Won’t you take the time today to let your spouse hear those words not only from your lips but from your heart? Share them today while you still have the chance. Write it all down if you are better with the written word than speaking them verbally, but it is important that you say what you need to say now while you still have the chance!
We hope you have been encouraged through this 31 day series. It has helped me, personally, and I feel it has helped my marriage. This series came at just the right time when we were struggling. I can see God’s hand in this and how He is working miracles in my marriage. He can do this with yours as well, if you only allow Him to.
Thank you so much for joining us! May God be with you all and help strengthen your marriage and draw you closer to each other as you walk together with Him.
