When troubles seem to be all around you, when the path looks impossible in your marriage … call on Jesus. All things are possible with Him!

Jesus replied, “What is impossible with men is possible with God.”

Luke 18:27

Nothing is sadder than when a couple decides to throw in the towel.  When you have years invested in this marriage, yet the troubles seem to be too much … the “d” word is uttered, and there seems to be no turning back now.  But, there can be!  Divorce does not solve the problem.  Instead, if there are children involved, it further complicates matters.  Children are forced to live with continued chaos in their lives by being shuffled around from home to home for visitation.  It is especially hard on children and parents that have such a deep bond together to be apart for any length of time, especially if the children are young at the time the parents call it quits.

It is so sad to me to hear of couples that are giving up the good fight.  Yes, life is hard.  Yes, marriage can be extremely difficult at times because you are two completely different human beings with different personalities, different unique qualities and you’re living under one roof trying to make this thing work.  And it can … but it requires work on both parts!  One simply cannot carry the weight of the marriage, it takes two people working together to be the best that they can be for each other.  Marriage is worth it!  Your children are worth it!  You CAN live happily ever after!

Divorce does not solve anything.  If there are issues that have come up in your marriage, if there are things from the past that are haunting you … divorce will not make all of these things go away.  If you give up, nothing will be resolved.  If you have pain from things in your past, running from them and divorcing your spouse will not solve it because you will not have dealt with those things that pain you greatly.  Instead, you will carry these unresolved issues into your next relationship.  It won’t be any better!

I have actually talked couples out of divorcing before.  I have had several couples that have come to me with trouble in their marriage looking for someone to give them permission to let go of their spouse.  What they get from me, instead, is to cling tighter to your spouse and to your marriage!  It is worth saving!  If there is any way possible, make it work!  If there are children involved, especially … you and your children deserve the “happily ever after.”  It doesn’t just have to be for fairy tales that you read or movies that you watch.  You can have your very own happily ever after!  My husband and I have seen some rough times in our marriage, but we are still holding on tighter than ever.  Neither of us wants to lose the other.  We do not want to give up on our family, and so we cling to each other and uphold our marriage vows.  When things seem impossible for us, we know that all things are possible with God!  He is our strength when we are weak.  He fights for us..  He shields and protects, and He gives us the will to continue on.

With God ALL things are possible … ALL things … even the chance to live happily ever after with your spouse.

Join us tomorrow for the final day in this series … When The Path Leads You Home.

For all posts in this series thus far, click here.

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The enemy would like nothing more than to destroy your marriage.  Do you realize that he waits in the wings to steal, kill, and destroy?  He would like nothing more than to throw his wicked head back and laugh with his forked tongue wagging as you and your spouse spiral downhill faster than the speed of light.

When troubles loom large, know that our God is bigger than any attack from the devil.

He IS!  Our God is greater than any trouble the devil can throw your way.  As mean, ugly, and scary as he is, our God is bigger, stronger, and has more power!  When you and your spouse get into trouble in your marriage, ask God to step in and fight for you.  You do not have to fight this battle alone.  God is right there ready, willing, and able to step in – all you have to do is ask Him to do so.

The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.

Psalm 9:9

The LORD is my light and my salvation — whom shall I fear?

The LORD is the stronghold of my life — of whom shall I be afraid?

Psalm 27:1

There will be wolves in sheep’s clothing.  There will be those slicked tongued individuals that will slide into your life and wreak havoc in your marriage.  They will try everything to weasel in between you and your spouse.  Do not allow this to happen.

Do you know why your marriage is under attack?  Because nothing comes closer to God’s love for the church than the love spouses are to have for each other.  Your marriage has been ordained by God above!

In times of trouble, put on the full armor of God.   Ephesians 6:10-17 speaks volumes on how to do just that.  As Cindi and Hugh put it in their book:

We are to put on the belt of truth, the breast plate of righteousness, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit — all that we might stand firm.

Stand and fight for your marriages, ladies and gentlemen.  Do NOT let the enemy win here.  Guard your hearts, your minds, your body and soul against the devil and the attacks that he launches at you.  He will try to make you doubt that your spouse loves you.  He will try to make you unsure of where you stand with them.  He will put all kinds of thoughts into your head of things that are NOT true, yet he will be so convincing and before you know it, you will be in a fit of rage believing all of the lies that he has told you.  Do not give into temptation.  Just when you are trying to be strong, he will put a person before you that will tempt you and try you.  Do not allow your lustful nature to take over.  Do not sin against yourself, your God, or your spouse!  Do what is right and do not give in to temptation or sin.  Do not give into lust.  Uphold your marriage vows!

Knock that little man with the pitchfork off of your shoulder.  You know the one … he whispers destruction in your ear.  He is the father of lies, deceit and betrayal.  Do NOT fall for any of this.  Do not allow yourself to be lured into believing the lies and focusing on the negatives that he forces into your mind all hours of the day and night.  Do not give into temptation!  Instead, do as the scriptures tell us and focus on those things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable.  

Protect your marriages.  Honor your spouse and uphold your marriage vows.  When times get tough, God can and will fight for you.  Welcome Him into your marriages, allow Him to protect and shelter as only He can.  Your marriage is worth fighting for, and God is just the one to do it.  He can and will defeat the enemy.

Join us tomorrow for … When The Path Looks Impossible.

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Have you considered having a mission in your marriage? What do people think of when you and your spouse come to mind? How is your marriage impacting the lives of others around you?

We are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Ephesians 2:10

It is true that you may be the only Jesus that some people see in their lives.  There may be lost souls that do not know Jesus and have never been told how they can have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  You and your spouse can tell them.  Your actions can speak volumes in motivating others to want what you have and ask how to obtain it … and it’s simple really.  They can see how Jesus is working in your lives, your hearts, and your marriage and want that same thing for themselves!

There are those around you that are watching you and your spouse.  From friends, family members, your very own children, and people in public … your actions are being watched even if you don’t think so at that moment in time.  People pick up on how you and your spouse are toward each other.  They watch how you interact together, and even when you aren’t speaking with words, your body language speaks volumes.

Maybe your mission is to model how a marriage should be.  Maybe you will be a role model for a young couple that sees the love between you and your spouse and wonder how you keep the fires burning after all of these years together.  You just might be their inspiration to hold on a little tighter and to try a little harder in their own marriages.  You truly never know the impact you can have on someone else’s life, but I can guarantee you that God brought you and your spouse together for a very special reason with having a mission in mind.

Perhaps you and your spouse are on a mission to feed the homeless or to adopt the orphaned.  Maybe you and your spouse are on a mission to help women who have been abused or who are struggling to find their sense of self worth after years of being beat down.  Or perhaps you are supposed to open your home to teenagers so they will have an alternative place to go besides partying, drinking, and experimenting with drugs and sexual activity.   I know for us, we welcome my daughter’s teenage friends and purposely have an open door policy for them to feel free to come over to hang out so they’ll have a home away from home.  We want them to know that they are always welcome here.  This can be their safe haven and a place to come when everyone else is “partying.”  If they don’t want to give in to peer pressure, they have other options and can remove themselves from that situation and come to our house instead.

One of the bible verses that I cling to is:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Jeremiah 29:11

Believe this because it is true!  God had a very special mission in mind when He brought you and your spouse together.

Join us tomorrow for … When Troubles Loom Large.

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You probably knew this one was coming, didn’t you?  With getting our relationships in shape and our spiritual walk with God, have you given any thought to remodeling the “temple?” Your body is the temple of God. We have to take care of it!

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own; you were bought at a price.  Therefore honor God with your body.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

When you asked your spouse out on your very first date, how did you look?  Did you labor over your appearance before picking her up?  I bet you did!  I can imagine you showering, shaving, and possibly getting your hair cut, or at the very least brushing it so that not a single hair was out of place.  I imagine that you picked out your finest attire, polished your shoes, and sprayed your best smelling cologne on.  You wanted to do everything within your power so that she would notice you.  The same goes for your mate.  I know that I made sure I looked irresistible prior to him arriving at my door.

As time goes by in relationships and marriages, we don’t take as good of care of ourselves as we once did.  As we age, we find unwanted pounds gather around our waistlines.  We have to work harder at resisting the temptation of sweets.  We have to discipline ourselves in what we eat and drink.  A basket of fries is not our friend, ladies.  Can I get an Amen on that one?  We have to lay off of the fast food and eat healthier foods.  Likewise, men can’t guzzle the beer either or else they’ll have a nice beer gut!

We truly do have to take care of ourselves.

My husband and I have exercised together in the past.  My children like to get in on this as well, especially when I throw in a Gilad workout video.  Gilad will kick your butt with his moves!  He used to be on Fit TV on satellite, and I recorded so many of his shows to have to work out to later.  Then we went to working out with Leslie Sansone doing Walk Away The Pounds in our living room.  This is something low impact that we can do together as a family.  My husband and children join in, and we laugh and do the moves together.  Now, though, we get exercise by walking our horses around the yard.  That sounds odd, I know, but now that we are losing daylight as the days are shorter here in the mist of Fall, my daughters will still want to ride their horses.  If they aren’t comfortable riding alone, we will put a lead rope on them and walk in front of the horses while our daughters are on the horse.  They get to enjoy the ride and feel of the horse while we enjoy getting a little bit of exercise as we walk together around our property leading the horses.  It makes a difference just doing this little bit of exercise together in the evening.

What are ways that you can incorporate exercise or eating better into your lives?  Ask your spouse to join you on this part of the journey, whether you’re trying to eat healthier or if you’re looking to begin an exercise routine, why not do it together?  It will make a difference, and you’re more likely to stick with it if you do it together!  You have an accountability partner right their in your spouse!  It can work.  Give it some thought and then put it into action!

Join us tomorrow for … Having A Mission.

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It’s important to grow together spiritually, but one simply cannot rush their spouse or try to make them into something that they aren’t. Each person has to be pursuing personal growth themselves at their own pace.  My walk will not look like my husband’s walk, and that is okay.  If we are both seeking to grow spiritually as individuals, we will end up meeting and coming alongside each other on our journey toward personal growth and a spiritual relationship with God.

We have not ceased to pray for you and to ask that you may … please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God.

Colossians 1:9-10 NASB

My husband has just recently told me that he feels he needs to read the bible more.  He feels this very strongly and is beginning to go deeper with his relationship with God.  Up to this point, we have read, studied, and even prayed separately, with the exception of blessing the meal before we eat as a family.  Not wishing to intrude, I have just presented that if he would like, we can start reading the bible together as well as praying together.  He hesitated initially, but then he seemed to like the idea.  So, we are going to begin tonight in doing just that.

In the past, we have each been involved in small groups at church. He was in a men’s small group while I was in a women’s small group.  We met once a week, and it seemed to be what we needed at that season in our lives.  At another point, though, when we first started going to this one church in particular, we went together to a couple’s small group.  We have enjoyed both aspects involved in these small groups that we were a part of.

We have also gone out with other couples to enjoy each other’s company, but you have to be careful here.  The reason I say that is because if you and this other couple are not on the same page spiritually, one could cause the other to stumble along the way.  It is true in that it matters who you associate with because while you could help bring someone up, they have the potential to bring you down, too.  That is something that you do not need individually or as a couple.  Guard your hearts, minds, and your marriages!

Another way that we have grown together as well as individually is by reading books.  My husband and I are big into “self help” type books.  We enjoy reading relationship books, thus the reason we chose this particular book to write as our #write31days series for the month of October.  But, we also enjoy reading books to help each of us on our personal journey toward greatness!  We strive to improve and continue growing.

What are some ways that you can grow together and as individuals?

Join us tomorrow for … Remodeling the “Temple.”

For all posts in this series, click here.

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It’s wonderful when a married couple are similar in their ways.  However, it can be quite difficult when your differences come out. Yet, respecting each other’s uniqueness is what is required for a happy marriage.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  Psalm 139:14

My husband and I are a lot alike in a lot of ways.  We do have some very different qualities that make us who we are as unique individuals as well.  Together, we feel that we complement each other nicely.

I am the accountant of the family, and I believe in saving!  My husband, on the other hand, cannot be let loose with the debit card!  He jokingly says that if there is money to be spent, he’s going to spend it!  That is why I guard that debit card and keep it in my possession!  I am not being controlling by doing that.  Instead, I am being realistic.  I know that he isn’t going to be as good with money as I am, and so the card stays with me.  In this way, though, we realize his weakness with spending money and my strong point in saving it!  We balance each other out nicely.  I’d hate to think of what it would look like if we both were burning up that debit card, so it’s a good thing that we’re different in this unique way.

There are other ways that we are different that doesn’t cause us problems but instead enhances our relationship.  But, when both of us are in the same “take charge” mode, we can have problems.  If we are both Type A personalities, we will lock horns at some point or another.  Thankfully, we aren’t always like this.  We do have our moments, though, where we are both extremely strong willed individuals that want what we want right when we want it. That can spell … conflict … if we aren’t careful.  It is at times like these that one has to give a little more than the other to make it work, or one has to be a little bit more patient and forgiving than the other for us not to rub each other the wrong way.  It can be a balancing act at times.  You truly have to work together with the big goal in mind, and that is of living happily ever after and making the marriage work!

Two are better than one … just as it says in the bible:

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.  If one person falls, the other can reach out and help.  But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.  Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm.  But how can one be warm alone?  A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer.  Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

How can you start appreciating, respecting, and celebrating your uniqueness in your marriage?

Next up … Pursuing Personal Growth.

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Two are better than one because they have a good return for their work.  Ecclesiastes 4:9

Can you remember the last time you and your spouse worked on a project together?  A lot of times people think that because of our differences it can be really stressful sharing a project with our spouses.  However, it has the potential to bring you closer together if you share the process with one another.

I was once the director of an interpretive movement/sign art group at our church.  I loved this creative ministry and poured myself into it.  My oldest daughter was interested in it at that time and would soak up every move I showed her. I would blast the music and allow God to speak to my heart as I praised in my own way with sign language and different movements to the words of the songs.  One day I got down the gospel collection by Elvis Presley.  On that CD was How Great Thou Art.  I sat there feeling as if the presence of God was right there in my living room as the powerful voice of Elvis sang about how great our God truly is.  Then, my husband came inside and smiled as he heard Elvis, his all time favorite.  He began to watch the movements and showed an interest in what I was doing.  I intended on teaching this in class so our group could minister in song one Sunday morning.  There aren’t enough words in the human language to describe how it felt when my husband came alongside of me to learn the movements of this song.  I was so passionate about this group, and now he was a part of it.  My heart was completely touched, and as we worked on this song together, I felt closer to him.  We were sharing something that meant a lot to me.  When the Sunday morning came that we were to present this song, my husband was right there on stage with me, as was my oldest daughter and the rest of the group, doing every movement with ease as God was glorified.  We had a lot of people compliment us on how we presented this song and on the choice of song as well.  It felt wonderful working on this project together.

We have also just recently purchased an older RV.  We knew going into this that it was a “fixer-upper.”  We aren’t going to use it to travel the world.  We are simply going to use it to travel to plantations where we can camp overnight and go trail riding with our horses.  That was the main reason this RV was purchased.  A lot of horse people have the horse trailers with a small sleeping quarters, but it is too cramped and much too small for my claustrophobic self.  I knew that the only way I would be able to camp comfortably would be to have a RV with all of the comforts from home, including a larger bed and not feeling as if I was literally sleeping on a shelf in the horse trailer!  Being that this RV is an older model, it does require some work, but we are slowing chipping away at it.  My husband is discovering that when once he complained about it, he is now finding it a challenge and feels a sense of accomplishment when he narrows down a problem and is then able to fix it!  Success!  And we all cheer for him.  He has his little cheerleading squad over here with myself and our two daughters.  It hasn’t always been fun working on this RV together, though.  He’s gotten upset and has lost his cool a time or two with me sitting right there, but then when he walks away from it and goes back to it later, he’s able to find and fix the problem.  We’re getting this thing ready for our first trip together as this is perfect weather for trail riding!  The next item of business will be replacing the brake line, and then I’ll be inside pumping the brakes.  It may be only a small part of the process, but it is a project that we can work on together, and we will feel such a sense of accomplishment when we are enjoying our steaks on the grill sitting under the awning of our RV at the camp site with our horses right there with us.  It will all be worth it … and more!

Think of projects that you can work on with your spouse that can deepen the bond between you.  Even if it’s just working on a jig saw puzzle together, take the time.

Join us tomorrow for … Respecting Each Other’s Uniqueness.

For all posts in this series, click here.

When was the last time you took a day to play together with your spouse?

We know how it is – there are so many demands in life that you feel you just have to get this done or get that done!  There’s just no time to play … and then … you feel burnt out, aggravated, and annoyed most of the time.  Who catches it?  Nine times out of ten, your spouse and your children will.

If you’re tired of living like this and want to enjoy life more without the guilt, then listen up and realize what the bible says on this very subject:

I know the best thing we can do is always enjoy life, because God’s gift to us is the happiness we get from our food and drink and from the work we do.  Ecclesiastes 3:12-13 CEV

Be happy and enjoy eating and drinking!  God decided long ago that this is what we should do.  Ecclesiastes 9:7 CEV

If you were feeling guilty before about taking time away from all that needs to be done or taking time away from your work, we hope you feel better about this now after seeing right there in scriptures that God has given us permission!  He WANTS us to enjoy the life He has given us.  He wants us to play –as long as it is right and pure living that you’re doing, no partying hard and doing things that do not glorify God.

What does your “day to play” look like?  It could be simply going to a movie together and having dinner out.  Or, maybe taking a hike in the mountains or a stroll on the beach together hand in hand.  For us, we enjoy horseback riding together, and so today we have set aside this day (after I finish writing this blog post) to go do just that.  We will spend the day in the middle of the forest on the back of our horses — loving every minute of it!

We courage you to lose the guilt and get out there and enjoy life while you can.  While you still have energy, while you’re still healthy enough to go and do … there are some people that just can’t do that now, and I am sure they are filled with regrets.  Don’t be one of them.  As you grow older, be able to look back on wonderful memories that you hold dear to your heart – memories of getting out there and playing with your spouse, your children, your family!

One day your life will pass before your eyes.  Make sure it is worth watching and re-living all over again.  Make those memories.  Be intentional about time spent with those that you love.

One day God will call us home.  We never know the day nor the hour that this will happen.  We would not want to leave our loved ones behind with awful memories of harsh words spoken or hateful actions toward each other.  No, instead, be intentional about keeping the peace, showing and sharing love always – in your words and in your actions – and making precious memories together with the ones you love.

Join us tomorrow for … Sharing A Project.

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Be still, and know that I am God.

Psalm 46:10

I often cling to that bible verse at times when I am not sure what the next step in my life needs to be.  If there is something troubling me, and I am feeling as if I don’t know what to do … I just be still and know that He is God.  I have full faith and confidence that while I don’t know what to do and certainly don’t know what the future holds, God does!

Recently my husband and I were trail riding at a plantation when we met a nice lady that was out walking her grandson on her horse.  He was just a little tot, and his grandma was smiling from ear to ear as she made her way around to us.  She stopped to speak to us, as a lot of friendly campers do, and we ended up having a nice conversation where she encouraged us to spend more quality time together as a couple.  She said that what happens is that couples are so busy parenting and doing all for the children that when the children grow up the married couple doesn’t even know each other any more because they have spent so little time together during those years.  That is so sad, but it happens more often than we realize.   Just as this lady encouraged us to spend more time together, we are urging you to do the same in your marriages.  Be intentional about disconnecting from the world and reconnecting with each other.

As you’ve heard me mention in this series, we love trail riding and being one with nature.  There is a lot to be said about the peace and tranquility you find on the back of your horse in the middle of the forest!  You are surrounded by God’s beautiful creations, and you’re riding on a majestic animal.  You are one with nature, and out there, you feel closer to God!  I know I do!  While I enjoy a good ride with my horse, there is something extra special about riding side by side with my husband on his horse.  We have actually been able to get our horses lined up to where we can ride along together holding hands.  We enjoy the peace and quiet all while feeling the love flowing out of one and into the other just by the mere tips of our fingers touching the other.

Another thing that we like to do is go fishing together.  Even if we don’t catch a thing, we are together on this journey as we go down the river dodging fallen trees and stumps.  On one of the last trips we took down the river, it started to rain … hard!  We raced through the water to seek cover under a bridge until the rain passed.  We just thought we would wait it out, not realizing that Mother Nature had no plans of slacking off any time soon.  Instead, the rain started coming down even harder and at an angle, so we were still getting soaked in the boat under the bridge.  Then we decided to just go for it and rush back to the landing to seek cover in the truck until it all blew over.  Ha!  Rain was coming down so hard that it was getting all in our eyes where we could barely see where we were going.  Some people would have been cursing at the wind at that point, but I just let out a really loud squeal and turned my face toward the rain and laughed so hard as it beat down upon my skin.  I threw my hands out to each side and felt as if I was sailing right through the storm, and there was such freedom in that moment.  My husband started laughing, too, and although we looked like drowned rats when we made it back to the landing, we enjoyed this time together in the great outdoors!  We purposely disconnected from work phones, personal cell phones, computers, iPads, iPods, beepers, etc., and focused on being together!    And it was refreshing being with the one I love without any distractions, other than the pouring rain that caught us off guard.  It felt good disconnecting from the world for a little while and reconnecting with each other.

There are times now that we will just go out to our RV and sit in it in our yard.  We find our way out there by the light from a tiny flashlight, and then we sit in the dark inside the RV.  Some times we will take our camping lantern with us and let it glow on the inside as we sit together and just talk.  Last night was one of those RV nights, and we ended up staying out there for three hours talking by the light of the lantern.  And … it felt GREAT!  Nothing mattered for those three hours except HE and I in that RV right there in our yard, connecting, sorting some things out, and talking together sharing our hearts.  That is priceless!

While the above with horseback riding, going on fishing trips, or camping will not be everyone’s cup of tea, find what works for you and your spouse.  The point is to just disconnect from it all for a little while and focus on just being together reconnecting with your mate.  Disconnecting from the world and focusing on each other will help restore a vital thing that has been missing from your marriage.

Join us tomorrow for … A Day To Play

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Buy the book on Amazon: When Couples Walk Together: 31 Days to a Closer Connection

God, my shepherd!  I don’t need a thing.  You have bedded me down in lush meadows, you find me quiet pools to drink from.  True to your word, you let me catch my breath and send me in the right direction.

Psalm 23:1-3 MSG

Families are busier today than they have been in generations past.  We are so busy rushing here and there that it seems we have more packed in our schedules resulting in less time spent together as a family.  Couples rarely see each other, and then they wonder why they feel distant.

It really is okay for families and couples to say NO more often to extracurricular activities that crowd our schedules and take over every waking moment we have!

When do you take time to relax and rejuvenate?  When do you rest and quiet your soul?

My dad just said this past week that our schedules are too packed for him.  He said he does not see how we do it and knows that he just could not keep up with going like we do.  Even on weekends, we are going here or there.  It sounds odd, but in a way, I believe he was giving us permission to just … be.   It is like we think we have to keep our hands busy at all times with different things that we’re doing or places that we’re going, and he was just letting us know that it really and truly is okay to take time to rest, relax, and just do absolutely nothing!   That is hard for my husband to do, though, as he has a lot of what we call nervous energy where he cannot seem to sit still for very long.  For me, though, some of my most favorite weekends are spent inside watching movies with my family.  I especially love rainy days or Winter days where it is just too cold to be outside – that is when we put on a big ole pot of chili or potato soup and watch a movie marathon all snuggled up together under our shared blankets.  Some times we will even make a fort for my youngest, which thrills her to no end!   When it is nice outside, though, it is harder to give into the urge to just relax because guilt sets in.  We have to retrain our brains to know that it really is okay to rest!

One of my most favorite bible verses says:

Be still and know that I am God.  Psalm 46:10

Be still.

Why is that so hard to do?

If more families and couples would focus more on keeping it simple instead of packing their schedule so full, think of the quality time you could all spend together!

One of my most favorite things to do in my “being still” moments is get on the back of my horse, Sugar, and ride in God’s beautiful countryside.  I literally rode beside still waters on a trail ride recently, and I could feel the stress leaving my body with every step that my horse took.  As she lowered her head almost in reverence to God above, my soul was restored right there in the middle of the forest.

While I’m talking about my horse (my friends and family know that my face lights up immediately at the mere mention of my horse’s name), just last week I rode Sugar around the entire perimeter of our yard.  The sun had already set, and the stars began to appear.  Right there under the sparkling blanket of shimmering lights, I prayed out loud as Sugar carried me.  I thanked God for all that He has done for our family and for how He is working in our lives.  I thanked God for keeping His hand of protection over my entire family, our children, our parents, and our marriage.  I felt my soul at peace right there under the vastness of the sky in the wide open space … my partner and I.

Take time with the ones you love, and allow yourself some down time.  Rest, rejuvenate, restore … be still and know that He is God.

Join us tomorrow for … Disconnecting From The World.   (Little did I realize today while writing this that tomorrow’s chapter goes hand in hand with what I just wrote above.  I truly am reading this one chapter at a time and applying my thoughts daily.)

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Buy the book on Amazon: When Couples Walk Together: 31 Days to a Closer Connection

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Galatians 6:2

It will not always be smooth sailing in your marriage.  Hard times will come that will test and try you both in your marriage.

As Cindi and Hugh wrote in their book:

One of the greatest gifts of love we can give to our spouse is to help carry his or her burden, or to simply walk alongside him or her during the tough times.  Jesus said if we call ourselves His followers we must pick up our cross and follow Him.  We believe the fact that a man and woman are made one in a marriage relationship means we are to come alongside our spouse and help carry whatever burdens he or she is facing.

We truly do learn a lot about our spouses when we are in a crisis situation.  When things are going along wonderfully in our lives and in our marriages, we tend to take a lot of things for granted.  Our spouse is one of them.  We forget to appreciate our spouses and we tend to take our spouses and all of our blessings for granted.  We become selfish and think only of ourselves a lot of the times, too.  Consider the bible’s definition of love:  Love “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

Our spouses need us, especially in a crisis situation.

In March of this year, I was thrown from a “green” horse (meaning, a horse that was not broke to ride – but we did not know this at the time!).  I suffered a fractured hip and a fractured hand, along with a concussion.  Thankfully it was not any worse than it was, but that was my crisis situation.  I needed my spouse as there were times I could not do things physically for myself.  I just was not able to do so in my condition.

Thirteen years ago, we lost my sister to suicide.  I needed my spouse then, too, but in a different way.  In that crisis situation, in the middle of this tragedy, and the aftermath of suicide, I needed my spouse to be there with me physically, yes, but I needed my spouse emotionally as well.

My husband has had things from his past that he has been dealing with since April that has haunted him tremendously.  He has sought counseling and is working through some serious issues.  He needs me to be there for him emotionally especially when releasing his feelings is so new to him and something that boys are taught growing up that you simply don’t do.  If you’ve ever heard “real men don’t cry” … just know that I think this is the greatest disservice that society has done to little boys who grow up to be men that have suppressed their feelings all of these years after being taught this lie!  Now these little boys are men who are unable to relate on an emotional level.  They have been taught that it’s not okay to show emotion, and so, they appear distant and emotionally unavailable.   I’d much rather have a man that is not afraid to show his emotions and can feel free to share how he is feeling with me any day over someone “appearing” strong on the outside just because that is what they’ve been told that they “have” to be.

These are just a few examples of crisis situations where we’ve truly needed the other to come alongside of us.  However, even when we’re not in a crisis situation, we need our spouses to be there even in the most simplest of ways to carry our burdens or lighten our loads.  Even the smallest of things can help when a spouse is feeling overwhelmed or stressed.  Taking the vehicles in for maintenance so your spouse is freed up to do other things around the house is one way of lightening the load.  Or, even sharing the load … if one washes, dries, and folds the clothes, the other can put them away.  Such little things can go a long way to helping your spouse.

Whether it’s little things or big crisis situations – be there for your spouse and help carry their load or their burdens right alongside of them.  You are a team.  You’re in this together for the long haul.  You are on the same side!  You are partners for life!  Now act like it!  No one else needs to “be there” for your spouse more than YOU need to be there for them … in every way!  You should always … always … be able to count on your spouse to be there, whatever the need.

Join us tomorrow for:  Keeping It Simple.

For all posts in this series, click here.

Buy the book on Amazon: When Couples Walk Together: 31 Days to a Closer Connection