Shirley is the proud mother of two beautiful young ladies. She enjoys spending time with them on their ranch in the deep South with their three paint horses. Always looking for an adventure, she looks forward to hikes in the mountains chasing waterfalls, or scouring the coast for beautiful lighthouses! Shirley writes to encourage others and often times shares things that motivate and inspire her. She believes in living life to the fullest because no one is promised the gift of another day. Join her as we honor our bodies, minds, hearts, souls, and our Almighty Creator, God above!
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Ephesians 4:29
Our words have power. Do you use yours to build up your spouse? Are you intentionally finding encouraging words to speak over your mate?
We have to be careful here because if we are having a bad day our natural reaction is to tell the ones closest to us all about it. Normally the work related stress spills over to your spouse. Either they feel it when you arrive home or they will end up hearing about it shortly thereafter.
About two years ago, my husband and I got into a bad habit of venting to each other on our breaks, at lunch, and on the drive home from work. It did not take long before we dreaded when the phone would ring. Why? Because our words were not used to lift each other up. Instead, we focused on what was bringing each of us down, and we ended up bringing the other down, too! While we all need someone to talk to about things that bother us – and who better than your spouse – you have to be careful that you aren’t spewing venom all over each other and taking things out on the other when your spouse is innocent and undeserving of this ill treatment, even if it is the constant venting that we do to each other, it can bring our spouses down in the process of getting stuff off of our chests.
Also, be careful that your bad mood doesn’t spark you to be unhappy with something that your spouse says or does later when you’re together. IF you’re aggravated already, the chances are pretty high that things may not go your way because you’re already upset so the least little thing can set you off to where you end up hurting your spouse’s feelings or you could end up snapping at the children just because your patience is already thin.
It is hard in times like this, but earlier in this series we spoke of Praising The Positive. Pay special attention to Philippians 4:8 and what it is saying! Are you focusing on what is true, pure, right, holy, friendly, and proper? What about things that are truly worthwhile and worthy of praise? Now, shift your focus over to Ephesians 4:29. Are you saying good and helpful things so that your words are an encouragement to others? Are you saying the right things at the right times in order to be helpful to your spouse in what you say? Are you ensuring that nothing foul or dirty comes from your mouth? Are you using your words as a gift to your mate?
Stop right there for a minute and realize that your words truly can be gifts! Yes, actions speak louder than words, BUT … you can choose your words wisely and they can become gifts to your spouse.
Consider this.
Ladies, your man wants to know that you respect him, admire him and think he’s capable. He wants to know that you believe in him and his abilities to care for you and the family, provide for you and overcome challenges. He also wants to know that you still find him desirable. Your affirming words to him can make a stressful day at work instantly melt away and turn his focus on you and how you just said things that built him up, especially at a time when he needed it the most.
Gentlemen, your woman wants to feel desirable as well, but above that, she wants to feel cherished, appreciated, and treasured! They also have a desire to feel needed … and no, not as a maid, cook, or servant! They need tenderness from you as well. Have you taken the time to express all of these things to her? Have you given her the gift of your words but also put action behind it so she knows without a shadow of a doubt that you hold her in high regard and think the world of her?
Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”
Matthew 11:28 NLT
Today’s lesson is one that we ALL need! Every one of us has carried baggage into our relationships and marriages. Not a single one of us are immune when it comes to things of the past that have hurt us greatly. Whether we’re talking about things from our childhoods growing up, to past relationships, to things that have even hurt us in our marriages. There is one thing that they all have in common, though. They are all in the past! Each and every one of these events that you are carrying around with you all happened at some point in the past. There is no changing them and no going back at this point. We can only go forward! In order to do so, we have to make peace with things in our past that are haunting us still to this very day. More
As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him.
Colossians 2:6 NASB
Cindi began this chapter talking about her aunt and uncle. They have been married for an impressive 53 years! While things haven’t always been calm for this couple, they have slowed down as they have gotten older and now have the opportunity to literally walk together in their seventies.
In this day and age, families are always on the run. I know a few years ago I was almost burnt out by the running around that we were doing! I felt as if I hit the ground running when my eyes would open in the morning. From rushing to get the children dressed and off to school, followed by rushing to the office where I worked a full day, to then rushing to get my girls from school just to rush to dance practice, followed by finally being able to rush home, help with homework, bath time, and then getting in the bed to do it all over again the next day. Whew! I was worn out! At the time, though, it was my normal routine. I knew it was wearing on me, but I just did not realize how much at the time. If we weren’t rushing to dance practice, we were rushing to a church activity as we were involved in SO much with the church, too! My husband was a Deacon and also a part of the Buildings & Grounds Committee. I was a member of the choir and Director of an interpretive movement and sign art group at the church. One would think that with a crazy week like what we had that we would be able to rest on the weekend. That just wasn’t to be, though, as we had to get things done around the house on Saturday on days that we were not committed to dance rehearsals for an upcoming play or event at church, and while Sunday should have been a day of rest, it was slam packed from the time we got up in the morning. We would attend Sunday School, the church service, break for lunch, then hurry back for interpretive movement practice, then stay for the church service. After the evening service we would rush home to make sure all of the homework was done, book bags were packed for the next morning, and get the children baths. Then we would fall into bed from exhaustion!
Walking together? Literally? Back then, who had time!?
But, that is just the point that Cindi and Hugh make in their book and the point that I’m getting at here with this post. It may not be possible at certain points in our lives to take walks together due to our busy schedules, but if you’re too busy to spend quality time with the ones that you love … then you’re TOO BUSY!
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
Ephesians 4:2
Let’s face it. There are times that our spouses do things that really irk us and tick us off. When this happens, you have a choice on how you respond. You could immediately snap back with an attitude, but I can imagine the hard feelings that would come from this AND the fight that is about to develop from your lashing out. Some people like to clear the air so they can quickly move past it, so addressing it works for them especially if they go into it with a little more of a loving response. Other times, though, maybe it is better to just extend grace and not mention their shortcomings at all.
That is a hard one!
I’m not suggesting that you should brush something critical under the rug. Not by any means! But you truly do have to pick your battles. Everything that your spouse does is not done to irritate you or annoy you. Some times things just happen. Don’t try to analyze the motive behind the actions. Just realize that they are just as human as YOU are.
As Cindi put it in the book, for every five things that Hugh does that annoys her, she probably does ten things that annoy him! Often times we do not want to see this in ourselves, but it’s true. We’re only human, too, and there will be times we irritate our spouses. That is why it is so important to extend grace in your marriages! Be quick to extend grace and forgive your spouse, just as you would like your spouse to be quick to extend grace and forgive you.
There are far greater things to exert your energy on in your lives and in your marriage. Fighting should not be one of them. Quickly resolve the issue, even if that means overlooking and not commenting on something that irks you. Take a deep breath in, blow it out, and let all of your anxieties go with it! Then you’re free to move on humbly to more important issues.
Love never fails, ladies and gentlemen.
Join us tomorrow for … Taking A Walk
For all posts in this series for #write31days, click here.
Very early in the morning, while it was still dark,
Jesus got up, left the house and went off
to a solitary place, where he prayed.
Mark 1:35
While it is important to spend time together as a couple, it is also wise to take time away to rejuvenate. Making time for yourself will also enrich your relationships. You will find that giving each other space is a good thing. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder.
Cindi & Hugh found this truth out in their marriage as well, even allowing the other to travel alone. While traveling solo would not interest me, it worked in their marriage. Cindi was unable to go on the trip due to her speaking engagements, but Hugh really needed this time away due to stresses in his life. This was a wonderful gift that Cindi gave to her husband. My husband and I enjoy taking trips together, so if one were not able to go, we would just postpone the trip until our schedules allowed us to travel together. However, there are other ways that we take time to ourselves while giving each other space. Today we did that very thing.
My husband enjoys tinkering with his classic car. We have a 69 Camaro, and we have been wanting to fix it up for the past few years. We purchased a bunch of parts recently to get him started on the interior, as the exterior is in pretty good shape from when he restored it many years ago. It has been preserved by being kept in our shop for all of these years. My husband and I belong to a classic car club in town, and we are having our annual car show this coming weekend. Our goal is to have this car at the show! In order to do that, he needed to devote time to working on the interior. We just had a couple’s day Saturday where we went trail riding together on our horses, so Sunday was the perfect day to devote to his car while I devoted time to my writing. We had our much needed time away to rejuvenate, and at the end of the day, we looked forward to reconnecting. He shared the progress he made on the car, and I shared my writing with him. This worked perfectly for us.
While we enjoy the great outdoors together going horseback riding and fishing, I do realize that he will need alone time in the great outdoors as well. Hunting is just not my thing, but he enjoys it. This is something he can do alone and enjoy himself. He will feel the stress relief while sitting in the deer stand waiting on the big one to step out.
I enjoy massages. While that isn’t the same as being alone in the middle of the forest, I enjoy the relaxing atmosphere as I lay there listening to the soft music playing while the stress is worked out of every muscle in my body. The massage therapist is quiet as she works her magic, and I feel like I’m in heaven for that hour that I’m in there. I leave refreshed and rejuvenated.
This works for us. While these are just a few ideas, find what works for your marriage. It’s important to talk to your mate first, though, so they will not feel that time away means time away from them. Reassure your mate that you are not asking for time away because they’ve done something wrong or something that bugged you. Let them know that you’re not angry with them. Simply put, you just need time away to recharge your batteries. Even Jesus needed time away, as stated in the bible verse at the beginning of the post!
We all have bad days. Things seem to come at us from every angle at times. Maybe you’ve had a rough day due to coworkers at the office, or perhaps it was the exchange of heated words with your spouse the night before that is still troubling you. There’s also the feelings that we have when our children are disrespectful or disobey us at times, not to mention harsh words from a friend. All of this can leave you feeling beat up, unappreciated, unloved, and of little worth and value at the end of the day. You’ve reached the point to where you’ve just had enough and are about to blow your top! Maybe women are more prone to this, as Cindi and Hugh point out in their book, due to stifling their anger while they hang on to insults as they feel tension and pressures rising all while dealing with wonderful hormones! Some times we just lose it and end up spewing venom … but often times it is on the ones we love the most.
What if, in the mist of all of this, you discovered a love note from your spouse? Would that help you in that critical moment? I think it would! Cindi speaks of how she had a really bad day and was losing it fast when she found a rose with a simple note attached that said, “Love you, Wife.” She really did lose it then, but in a good way. Tears welled up in her eyes as she felt loved at that very moment. At a critical point, she was reminded of her worth and value when she needed it the most.
Just think of how your words have power! Use them to build your loved ones up and remind them often of how much they mean to you. Use the power of a note to touch their hearts and lives. It only takes a minute to write sweet and loving words on an index card or a sticky note. Take the time! Place the note where they will be sure to find them. If they are traveling, stick these sweet notes in their luggage so they will find them as they are unpacking. Or, something that I especially love to do for my daughters, slip a note that says “I love you” in their lunch box. I have done this on occasion as well when fixing my husband’s lunch for the next day. It’s a simple thing that can mean so very much to them. It is worth the extra effort! I have even slipped little notes inside of his wallet so when he flips it open, there it will be. I’ve left love notes on the dash of his truck so he’ll find them when he gets ready to go to work, and he has left me sweet little notes as well. I have found sticky notes on the bathroom mirror reminding me that I’m beautiful. He has placed notes on my pillow so when I turn the covers back to slip into bed I will find it. I have also found little notes on the seat of my car as well. All of these notes are appreciated and mean so much. He didn’t have to do these things for me, yet he took time out of his day to write these little reminders to me.
Oh the power of a note!
If you’re not sure of what to say, just a simple “I love you” will work! It ALWAYS works, especially if the person feels your love by your actions and not just lip service! Or like Shania Twain’s song, “You’re Still The One” … imagine the impact that would have! After all of these years, you’re still the one I love!
It doesn’t have to be a long, drawn out note where you pour out the content of your heart (although that is always appreciated, too), you can just keep it simple to remind them of your love for them. It will put a smile on their face and warm their heart!
Don’t ever stop thinking about what is truly worthwhile and worthy of praise.
Philippians 4:8 CEV
On day four in their book, Cindi & Hugh talk about things that originally drew them to their mates now bugging them as some time has passed. For example, Hugh was a deep thinker, taking a while to think on things before he would speak. Cindi originally appreciated this about Hugh. However, as time went on, she began to think he was the moodiest person she knew. Likewise, Hugh originally appreciated how Cindi was able to express herself, but after over 20 years together, there are days that he wishes that she wasn’t quite so vocal about things.
Here is something that I have tried to get us to do here on Light Love Hope. When you are tempted to go to the negative way of thinking, instead find something positive to focus on. Also, if things are really bringing you down, turn your focus to your blessings and how grateful you are for those things instead of complaining and staying stuck in that frame of mind. Is it easy to do? No, it isn’t. We want to immediately go to the negatives and things that bother us. That is why we have to be intentional about this and turn our focus on the positives.
I’m sure you’ve all heard the saying that love is blind. It was initially when you and your mate got together. You both were in a state of bliss so much so that nothing seemed to bother you. You were all dreamy and starry eyed when thinking of, looking at, and being with your mate. As time went on, though, we started to see a little bit of things here or there that began to annoy us. Maybe we need to become blind again to those traits and to anything negative that we may tend to focus on about our loved ones. Let us shift our focus to being open to grace and forgiveness. What if we all chose to become blind to their faults again? Instead of focusing on them and beating them over the head with things that aggravate us, why not choose to take a deep breath and extend grace? There is good in every one of us. I truly believe that. When it seems difficult to find one ounce of goodness, please try looking again. Instead of dwelling on the negatives, praise the positive!
Let’s take a look at Philippians 4:8 again. God’s love working through you will allow you to see “the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.”
A kind answer soothes angry feelings, but harsh words stir them up.
Proverbs 15:1 CEV
Cindi and Hugh began this chapter talking about a date night that Hugh planned, and yet things were certainly not going as planned … for either of them. When they should have been enjoying their time together, instead they were at odds with each other.
Have you ever had a situation like this? I know I have, and actually, something similar just happened at our house last night. We didn’t have a date night planned as in going out to dinner, but instead, we were going out to feed the horses so they would be well satisfied when we decided to go horseback riding later that evening. The horses normally do great, but on occasion, they will become aggressive at feeding time. There is a pecking order with the horses, and the lowest one on the totem pole was getting bullied every which way she turned! No matter where I tried to feed her, the other horses came swarming trying to get her food. We have five horses, so my anxiety was getting up with trying to keep them away from her so she could get enough to eat while not having any of the horses – or myself – get hurt! Pretty soon I was aggravated (and mouthy, which is something I am not proud of), and my husband was feeling stress, too, due to how my mood swiftly changed.
Cindi and Hugh ask, “How do you redeem the moment when it looks like everything is quickly going downhill?”
Someone has to be the bigger person and extend grace. Someone has to try to lighten the situation up and get things going in the right direction. In situations like these, we have to quickly reverse the situation and go from tense to tender in record time if at all possible. That is not always easy, though. What if neither of you want to extend grace at that moment in time? That’s a tough one! Admitting that you were at fault is an even harder pill to swallow.
Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Philippians 2:4
As we discussed yesterday, everyone goes into marriage with their own preconceived ideas of how things should be. We know what we want in our mates and in our marriages. We have all of these expectations. However, disappointment sets in when we realize that our dream marriage just isn’t to be because this is real life and not a fairy tale. Pretty soon we’re questioning why we got married in the first place because our spouse is not meeting all of our needs. Maybe we desire a husband that is able to express himself emotionally yet he clams up instead of talking things out as we’d like. Or, what about our desire for more emotional support with what we’re going through, yet our spouse appears cold and distant instead of caring and compassionate. At times like this you may have prayed to God asking exactly what He was thinking to allow this union in the first place. God knows you, and He knows what you need in your mate. Yet, this is what you get? How is that even possible?
In the book that Cindi co-wrote with her husband, Hugh, Cindi speaks of how she was having these thoughts and feelings toward her husband. She complained to the Lord about her husband, and she questioned why God let them get married. Further, she wanted to know why God wasn’t transforming her husband to be the man that she needed to meet her needs and expectations. Then it hit her, and she felt as if God was saying to her that maybe, just maybe, He was looking at what her husband needed.
Always let him lead you, and he will clear the road for you to follow.
Proverbs 3:6 CEV
Welcome to our 31 days of writing! The month of October will be devoted to digging into the words within Cindi & Hugh McMenamin’s book “When Couples Walk Together: 31 Days to a Closer Connection.” I will read one chapter a day and summarize what I’ve gotten out of the chapter and how we can all apply this to our lives and our marriages to make them the best that they can be. Are you ready to put forth your best effort in reconnecting with your spouse to rekindle the intimacy and companionship?
Are you enjoying the journey?
Cindi & Hugh begin by asking you to acknowledge that your marriage isn’t everything you had hoped and dreamed it would be. Realize that each of us go into marriage with high expectations, and due to this, we are often times disappointed. Our marriages are often times NOT like those depicted on the screen in the fairy tale romances where every day is filled with romance, passion, and gushing love. I know my marriage hasn’t been smooth sailing the entire time that we’ve been together, so I will be the first to admit that I’m a hopeless romantic and my expectations going into the marriage have not been met.
Marriage is much more than the “happily ever after” that we see in the movies. It’s about enjoying this journey with the individual that is completely different than you. It’s about enjoying getting through all of this with this one person that you’ve give your heart to and vowed to love, honor, and cherish all the days of your lives. Yes, even on the hard days! Even when times are tough, and you feel like you are at your wits end with this individual. You still have to be committed to them, to your vows, to making this work … and making it LAST!
In this first chapter, they speak of how marriage is a lot like More
Can you believe that it is the last day of September? Time just keeps marching on! As we have said “Goodbye” to Summer and “Hello” to Fall, we feel it is time for a new journey.
Excitement is building all around the web as bloggers prepare to take part in 31 days of writing. I first heard of this challenge issued annually by The Nester (more information is available by clicking here), and then our new host for Five Minute Friday, Kate, has added a twist (read about that here). We hope you will join us as we all embark on a new journey together beginning tomorrow, October 1, 2014.
We are torn as to whether to write for 31 days straight on one particular subject matter, OR whether we would like to write for only five minutes a day to prompt words provided by Kate. Hmmmm … we may end up doing a mixture of both!
I have this jewel of a book *(and you all know how I love a good book, right?!)* entitled When Couples Walk Together ~31 Days To A Closer Connection by Cindi & Hugh McMenamin. I have had this little book for a while, and previously I asked my husband to go through the book with me. The idea is that the couples are supposed to each read one chapter a day and apply it to their marriage and/or relationship. At the time, though, I could not get my husband to commit to doing this. It seemed like something always got in the way of staying on track with reading, even though the chapters are not very long at all. Now, though, after a few hard, trying months (almost six to be exact, but who’s counting, right? ~weak smile~), I brought this little book back out and asked if he would read it with me now to apply it to our marriage. It’s just 31 days, only a chapter a day. It claims to provide information to help open our eyes and to help rekindle the intimacy and companionship that first brought us together. Hugh & Cindi promise to provide simple, creative, and fun ways for us to draw closer together again, so we’re diving into this book and all it has to offer! What a perfect time, too, since it’s 31 days … and we’re now accepting the challenge here on our blog of writing for 31 days. Perfect timing with a perfect topic, and no, we did not plan this … but God did!
What marriage doesn’t need improving or a little help every now and then? If there is someone out there that claims to have the perfect marriage, well, I applaud you. In my experience, it takes work, lots of hard work and two willing partners striving to make it work daily, hourly even. It takes devotion, dedication, loyalty, faith, commitment, trust, and a whole bunch of other things rolled together … not just simply love. We need God in the mist of all of this within our marriages.
While my husband and I have already started reading this book, tomorrow I will begin summarizing what I’ve learned in the chapters … one post a day for 31 days.
September 12, 2014 was a day that will live on in my memory forever. It is the day that I got to meet my internet friends of 17 years. These precious ladies entered the Lifetime Lounge all of those years ago, just as I did, not knowing what to expect. Our curiosity turned into frequent visits to relieve the stress in our lives, and the result was something that none of us expected yet all of us are eternally grateful for.
This post is a recap of that weekend of a lifetime! I will post details of our trip along with pictures of us all together (patience, please, as the pictures will start about halfway through the post … some are with smartphones at the beginning, while the rest are with a regular camera so the quality of the picture will be better on those).
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying that people enter your life for a reason, season, or lifetime. We all came together for a specific reason, and certainly we were not sure if it would last beyond a season. However, we are all proud to say that our friendship will last a lifetime. We are not confident and sure of a lot of things, but of this we ARE sure. Our friendship has seen us through some of the hardest things we’ve had to face in the past 17 years, and we are holding on tightly because of how much we all mean to each other.
I play that day over in my head because I do not want to forget one little detail.
We talked of getting together before now, but this meeting was prompted by one of our dear friends receiving news that greatly concerned us all. When one of us hurts, we all hurt. This lady had just recently been diagnosed with breast cancer. Upon hearing this, our friend that lived further away than all of us started putting plans into place to travel the distance to see her. When she told me of her plans, I did not hesitant at all and immediately started planning to join her. When we asked our friend what she thought about a visit, she grew excited, and then our other friend said she wouldn’t miss this for the world so she, too, was planning on joining us! Words cannot express the excitement we felt when we realized that we were all in!
The weeks began to drag by after our plans were put into place. We all had our GPS systems programmed, hotel reservations confirmed, and then we waited for the day to arrive. I doubt any of us got much sleep the night before as we looked forward to meeting our friends of a lifetime the very next day!
My daughters and I set out that Friday morning, but our friend, Betty, started her journey on Thursday since she was driving all the way from Oklahoma. This would be a 13 hour stretch for her! It was only four hours for us, and then our friend, Sylvia, was coming in from Alabama so it was about a five hour drive for her. We were all coming in to surround our dear friend, Debbie, with so much love and to be able to give her the biggest hug EVER in person!
We all were sure to “check in” with Facebook so everyone would know where we were in our travels along the way. We posted “selfies” of us in the car with our children as the excitement was building!
That was what was so amazing on this trip is that not only were we all meeting, but our children wanted to come along as well as they grew up in pictures together over the past 17 years. Our families knew each other, and it was so special when the children said they wanted to go, too!
My oldest daughter was only six months old when I met these precious ladies in the Lifetime Lounge. Sylvia’s son was only four months old at the time, and Betty’s daughter was three years old. Wow! While we all have other children, these babies grew up in pictures and “knew” each other through us. My daughter, Nicole, is now 17 years old as is Sylvia’s son, Andrew. Betty’s daughter, Haylie, is 20 years old. Debbie was going through the teen years with her children at the time that we met, so she used the Lifetime Lounge as a way to escape the teen drama. (Boy, can I relate to that now!) Now her children are all grown up with families of their own! How in the world did THAT happen?! Our babies seemed to grow up almost overnight! It wasn’t supposed to go THAT fast!
Back to the trip. We had every detail planned out except for what time we would all be arriving and where we would meet up. I assumed we would meet at the hotel, but that was not what Betty had in mind. When we arrived at 3 p.m., we checked into the hotel and then headed over to the grocery store to get a few items for our room while we waited for the others to arrive. Little did we know, but Betty had already arrived and had been visiting with Debbie at her house since 1:45 that afternoon!
It didn’t take long before Betty called us and asked, “What are you doing?” Quickly followed by, “Get your butt over here!” *lol* And so, we did!
As we drove to Debbie’s house, my daughter, Nicole, got the camera ready. She started taking pictures the moment I put the vehicle in park and raced out the door down Debbie’s driveway. I had my arms up in the air preparing for that hug long before I ever reached her door. A string of “Oh my gosh … oh my gosh …” followed with lots of squeals and laughter as I reached my dear friend and could put my arms gently around her for the very first time in 17 years of friendship! I LOVE her facial expression in this picture!
As we entered the house, my dear friend, Betty, was immediately on my right! It was like a dream come true. While all of these ladies are special to me, this young lady is my sister of the heart!
Our daughters were over there having a giggle fest!
The three amigos together at last!
And then we waited … and waited … and waited … on Sylvia and Andrew to arrive. They got a later start, but we filled the time with LOTS of laughter until they finally arrived! Sylvia shared with us later that she was getting ready to leave and asked to borrow Andrew’s GPS when he asked where she was going. She reminded him that this was the weekend she was meeting all of us, and immediately, Andrew’s face lit up as he asked if he could go, too! That made our whole day when we heard that Andrew WANTED to come along! What a brave soul … the only male in with all of these women! Oh, he was in for a real treat that weekend!
When Sylvia and Andrew were near, we went back to the hotel to wait on them. I remember that we were all sitting in the lobby of the hotel when Betty so calmly said, “There’s Sylvia.” And … I took off running to her, too! While this caught us off guard and we did not get pictures of this, I will never forget the look on Sylvia’s face as I rushed toward her. Then, as we hugged, she pulled back for a minute to ask if this was real and to say that she could not believe that after 17 years she was actually touching me in person! Ah, but they had touched my soul long before over the course of all of these years of friendship! The lady at the front desk of the hotel asked if this was a family reunion, to which Debbie responded, “In a way … yes!” Because we ARE family!
We took off to a local restaurant where we were probably the loudest table in there, but we did not care one little bit!
After dinner, we went back to the hotel where we talked until close to 1 a.m. I thought for sure that Debbie’s husband, Ray, was going to have my head when I drove her home at that hour. 🙂
The next morning we set out to explore a gem mine. We started at the petting zoo and made our way through the old homestead. Since I am the self proclaimed “Picture Queen,” we just HAD to stop for a few Kodak moments!
We went for a little hike, and then we saw a wedding party taking pictures. I thought, “Hey, that would make a great picture …” so away we went when the wedding party was finished to get a picture of our own! Thanks, wedding people! We love our awesome picture! Betty jokingly asked if this meant we were getting married. I replied, “We are forever committed to each other!” Absolutely! In friendship and love! They are my family of choice!
We went on a little train ride around the mountain, too, and that was a lot of fun!
Then we got serious and went panning to see what treasures we could find! The majority of our group decided to go gem mining while Andrew and Sylvia wanted to pan for gold! There’s gold in them there hills, you know! And … there was! After sifting through and sifting through some more, finally Andrew & Sylvia struck it rich! They were able to take their flakes of gold home in a jar about the size of a thimble. Sylvia said she was so rich that lunch was on her! We got a good laugh out of that.
We left the gem mine and went to get a little bite to eat. Once again, we were the loudest table in there, but I can guarantee you there was never a dull moment for our waitress!
We spent the entire day together with Debbie showing us around her town and just soaking in all of the laughter! We truly had a great time together.
After we ate, we went back to the hotel to continue our conversations and to let my little one go swimming. Haylie watched Haven swim and played with the water guns with her while Debbie and Betty talked up in Betty’s room. Sylvia, Nicole, and I decided to go get manicures and pedicures! Andrew was brave enough to escort us there! That was the most relaxing manicure and pedicure I think I have ever had. It was a lot of fun sitting there next to Sylvia listening to her tell the Chinese women all about her adult children, two of which are now married! She was gushing with excitement as she spoke of all four of her children. She may have thought I was snoozing in the massage chair, but I heard every single word!
We knew that Andrew and Sylvia would need to leave after we returned to the hotel as Sylvia is a pianist at her church and needed to be there the next morning to play for the service. We could feel our good times and laughter now being replaced with sadness as we were about to part ways. These ladies were just as they had seemed all of these years, only better in person! I am so thankful and grateful for the time we shared together. We made precious memories that weekend!
We held off as long as we could, but the moment had arrived for Sylvia and Andrew to leave. Before they did, though, I asked if we could all gather around Debbie. It was my desire for us all to lay hands on Debbie and pray for her. We do not know what the future holds for our dear friend, but we know Who holds the future … and we know Who holds Debbie in the palm of His hand!
As we gathered around Debbie in that hotel room that evening, something powerful happened. We were gathered in love and friendship in prayer for this precious lady. We huddled around her as prayer was lifted up to Heaven from our hearts to God’s as we pleaded with Him on her behalf. Tears began to stream down our faces as the power of prayer filled that hotel room. We believe in the bible verse that speaks of where two or three are gathered in His name … and we came together that night believing in the power of prayer and in the healing power of our Great Physician. We know that Debbie needs a miracle, and we asked that He provide that for her. If it’s not in His will, though, we asked for the ability to handle what is to come. We do not know why something like this had to happen to this sweet lady, but we are all going to love her through this. No matter what comes our way, we are all in this together joined by our heart strings.
It was hard for us to say our goodbyes after all of these years and finally getting to spend this time together. But, it was precious time spent with people that have touched my heart and life in ways they truly cannot imagine. There are no words to express how much these people mean to me and how they truly are a part of my family. I love each and every one so much, and I hope to see them all again soon.
I am thankful for my family of choice … and for friends that weren’t just for a reason or a season … but for a lifetime!
Dear readers, please help lift our precious friend, Debbie, up in prayer. Thank you from my heart!
