Today my question for you readers is do you listen? Do you really listen or do you just think you listen? I have run into several situations recently that have shown me that people don’t really listen to what others are saying if it is not what they want to hear.

My first encounter with this was at the supermarket. For a little background, this supermarket has a rewards program that lets you get to up 50 cents off of the price of gas depending on the amount you have purchased. An older gentleman was standing taking with the customer service clerk when I walked. He was telling the clerk that the amount on his card was incorrect. After each purchase, your balance is shown on the receipt. The clerk was very nice and told the gentleman that her computer system cannot show his past transactions and that she would give him a phone number to call the central office to get things cleared up. He completely ignored what she said to him and kept going on that his balance was wrong, the program sucked (much stronger words were used), and that he was going to throw the @#!@ card away. Again she repeated what she had said. He kept on with his tirade. This went on for more than five minutes while I was standing there watching the scene unfold. The clerk was wonderful and never got upset with him even though he was irate.

He obviously didn’t want to listen because it wasn’t the result he wanted. He wanted immediate satisfaction no matter what.

My most recent experience with someone not wanting to listen happened this morning at work while I was giving a training session. I was coming towards the end of the training when the boss finally walks in. He sits down and I start to review what we had gone over. All of a sudden, the boss goes off on a tangent that has nothing to do with m y topic. He starts to rant that I should not be doing any programming work to create a better system without being requested to do so. I explained to him that I was given a request and I had completed that task several weeks ago. But he would not listen and kept ranting on this other topic. Several people in the room spoke up about how this feature had gone through company procedure and a formal request was given to me and that I had completed the task. No matter what anyone said, he just kept on and on. It was finally mentioned that the initial request had come from him. That didn’t even stop the ranting. Again, all he was concerned with was what he wanted even if he had no clue as to what had transpired and been accomplished. All this did was to spread a feeling of ill will through all the employees that the meeting.

I try to listen to people when they talk to me. I really try my best to pay attention to what they say. In doing so, I really get to pick up on things and get to know the person more than they realize. Several people have asked me how I am able to come up with such great gifts for people during birthdays and holidays. It is because I listen. People will tell you things about themselves without ever realizing it. You blog hostess can confirm that as we have known each other for over fifteen years and she still seems to get a bit surprised at gifts I come up with for their family.

Many of my friends have gone through a divorce. In watching them interact with their spouses, it is obvious to me that one or both of them don’t listen to what the other is trying to say. They get so wrapped up in what they want, they completely block out the other person. Then they wonder what is going on when problems start.

So I put out another challenge. Think about whether or not you really listen. Start paying attention to what people are saying.  Some of my most entertaining moments come from just listening to other people talking while out in public. You just might be surprised what you hear.

~The Quiet Computer Guy

What are the really important things in your life?

Do you place value on material things such as your house, car, or any other worldly possessions?

Do you focus more on making a living or making a life?   There is a big difference in the two.  Huge, actually!

Don’t get me wrong here.  There’s not anything wrong with having nice things if you can afford them.  To me, though, worldly possessions have not been high on my list.  I’ve gone from not having a whole lot while growing up, to having enough to get by when I was married the first time around.  Then just as things seemed like smooth sailing, a divorce was thrust upon me shattering my picture perfect fantasy land fairytale of a life.  After that, I worked hard to support my daughter and to ensure that her quality of life did not go down in the least just because my husband left our home.  I fought hard to keep that house and the lifestyle we were living.  While it wasn’t anything grand, it was OUR house.   And, I wanted her to still have the security and stability she had always known.

Then …

Many years later, I got remarried.  Money wasn’t scarce like before, and we were able to travel the world, have nice things, and enjoy to the fullest.  Still, money does not buy happiness.  It  never will possess that power.  Ever.

I had a nice job and moved up the ladder rather quickly.  I had a corner office with a window and an “official” title.   Even still, that did not supply the happiness I craved and wanted for my now two daughters in this life.  I found out that the nice office and title did nothing for my happiness in life at the hands of people that attempted to tear me down every chance they had.  So, I left that job and took a much lesser position actually back where I started out … and guess what?  I’m happier than I have been in a very long time!

Some times less really is more!

A lot of people focus on material things, their money, and just feel such power in saying what they “do” for a living.  I could care less whether you’re a multi millionaire or have only a penny to your name.  I don’t care if you live in a mansion or a run down shack.   It doesn’t matter to me if you’re a doctor or lawyer OR a school janitor or even a stay-at-home mom taking care of the house and children who sometimes feels inadequate or not good enough (you ARE … by the way, and you have the hardest job of all, sisters!).   What matters most in this life are PEOPLE!!!  It’s the people you share your life with.  It’s people that should always … ALWAYS … come first.

When all of the material things have been stripped away no matter the circumstances or reasons it happens … whether it’s by a natural disaster or due to being in financial ruins due to another divorce …

When that job you worship lays you off or replaces you with someone fresh out of college that looks better on paper than you may … or you simply feel unfulfilled, used and abused and decide to get out while you still can …

WHO is going to be there to wrap their arms around you and tell you that it’s okay and that you’ll get through it … together?

Will you have anyone to stand in the trenches with you?

Do you have someone that you feel safe when their arms envelop you?

Is there any one in your life that possesses the power to where you feel that the storms may rage violently around you, yet you’re protected … safe … and secure.

Everything else can be lost in a single blink of an eye.  Money, homes, job security.

Put people first.  They are what truly matter in this life.  Their love will endure!

Beautiful words from our Quiet Computer Guy, Gregory C. Johnson.

What Makes You Happy?

Quite the title; isn’t it?  Do you really know what makes you happy?  Have you ever just sat down and thought about it?  Coming from the background I did, growing up where I was mired in a negative environment, and where I was never really was shown any love or affection by my family … I wrestled  with this for many years.

There is one thing that stands out for me where I can go and feel the joy of happiness; music.  I have been enamored with music since I was very little.  My grandfather gave me my first drum when I was three years old.  As a small child, I would sit for hours in front of the stereo singing along to my parent’s records.  Even thinking of that now brings a warm feeling to my heart.

As I grew older, my mother supported me and my fascination with music.  She started me with drum lessons; I then took up guitar and bass guitar.  There were even some piano lessons in there for a while.

The first band I played in was our Youth Choir combo at church.  I have played many places over the years in many different situations from small clubs to large summer festivals.  Playing or listening to music has brought me many happy moments my life.

Yet, music is not what really truly makes me happy.

As I said earlier, I wrestled with the thought of true happiness for quite some time.  I didn’t find out what true happiness was until later in my life when by some miracle of God’s intention someone was brought into my life that showed me how being truly happy could feel.  So now, I suppose, you think you know how this all turns out; you meet the person that makes you feel all warm inside, it becomes a mutual thing, and you live happily ever after.  That is the way things are supposed to work out, right?  But that is not what God intended for me.

As happens with many things in life, things were not meant to be as what my heart’s desire prayed for. When that happens, it is our nature to question why, to wonder what is wrong with us, to put blame on God for putting us in a situation that causes our heart to ache.  I went through that same thing.  Then I realized that God put me into this situation for a reason.  I sat and meditated for many an evening looking for some answer.  Over time, I did begin to realize that what I was looking for –  love from someone else – was not the only thing that could make me happy.  With God’s help, I discovered that giving love without condition is another thing that can truly make me happy.  It is the joy of doing something for someone for no reason.  It is the joy of surprising someone with a small gift or a compliment that makes them smile.

I am content and happy with the situation I am in thanks to God’s design of bringing this special person into my life.  She has helped me become a better person over the years without ever knowing the kind of effect she was having on me.  She is still the number one thing that makes me happy, but my eyes and heart have been opened to letting in other avenues of happiness to make my life complete.

So what makes you happy?

~The Quiet Computer Guy

This week has been quite musical for me! On Tuesday, April 29th, my school held a talent show which was in support of Free The Children and Winnipeg Harvest ,which is a non-profit organization with the goal of distributing food to the hungry.  They offer training opportunities to help people step out of poverty.

The event was a success! We had a full house and we raised about $15,000, which I think is still pretty good for a high school show. There were quite a few good acts ranging from comedy to music. I chose to take the stage to sing All Too Well by one of my favorite artists Taylor Swift.  Based on the reaction I got, I’d say the crowd liked it!

Performing is one of my favorite things to do. Whether it’s playing a guitar recital or a school talent show or at church with the band, whatever the case may be I always feel at home onstage. Even though I get insanely nervous before going on, when I’m actually doing it, I’ve never felt more relaxed.

The music program at the school I go to offers an extra-curricular activity called Chamber Choir. It is an auditioned group made up of about 14 girls, myself included, meeting twice a week. We’ve been working on a song called This Is Me for the last few months, and we had absolutely no idea what it could be about until my choir director, Mrs. Ens, told us that Poet Shamin Brown was coming in to talk to us the next class. That same day Mrs. Ens had told us a little bit of a background of the song, which I will tell you now.

Shamin is a survivor of human trafficking. When she was a sophomore in high school, she kept a straight A average with a passion for sports. By the next year, all that changed. Shamin became a crack addict, and the drugs took over her life. She began selling herself on the streets just to feed her addictions. Shamin has written a book called I’m An Addict which tells her story in shocking detail. When I went up to buy her book, I told her about this website, and what it’s all about and she took the liberty of writing this in my copy:

Jackie, I pray that God uses your blog to set the captives free. Remember, don’t judge – LOVE. Love heals all.

If you meet and talk to her on the street, you never would’ve guessed that she was once a sex worker. She’s so full of life and charisma, that when you hear her story for yourself, you’d never be able to tell. When she told us the meaning behind This Is Me, it completely changed our perspective on what it was that we were singing.

On Wednesday, April 30th, our chamber choir was invited to sing at what was not only her book launch, but also the song premier (which I didn’t realize)! Before we sung, the composer Timothy Corlis stopped to talk to all of the choir girls thanking us for singing his song. During, he was visibly impressed. I caught him tearing up a little, so I took that as a good sign! After he came around to each of us saying how impressed he was. That same night we sung another song called You Are More, which I played guitar for, as well as sung a solo! Both songs we were asked to sing had Shamin tearing up, which is incredibly flattering because that shows that the music had touched that person’s heart.

To bring my musical week to an incredible end, I was given the chance to get into a professional recording studio to talk to a music producer named Jason about writing and potentially recording my first album!! During that chat, Jason had me play one of my songs for him, and he told me to come back to the studio in like a week or two to begin writing and recording. This is a huge deal for me because for as long as I can remember, I’ve dreamt about being a singer and this could be my chance! I’ve taken his advice to heart and I’ve been writing and writing all weekend, and I can see that my songs are improving. I just hope he thinks so, too. As of right now, the song I’m most proud of is called Fresh Start. I wrote that song about my mother and how I only want to make her proud, but it’s time for me to follow my heart regardless of what she has to say. It’s about how I’m growing up and how it’s time for me to spread my wings and fly.

~Jackie