I have felt this topic pulling at my heart over the last week.  It is a message that we all need to hear, and yet it is a sensitive subject, too.

Today I would like to talk about forgiveness!

Now, please hear me out.  Don’t cross your arms and stick your nose in the air refusing to allow anything else that I say speak to your heart.

I know there have been people in this life that have wronged you.  They have hurt you deeply.  Some have mistreated you and disrespected you.  I do understand as I have been on the receiving end of this treatment as well.  It hurts, and we vow that we will stand up for ourselves.  We say that we will never allow this sort of thing to happen again, and we proceed with building huge concrete walls around our hearts so that no one can get to us again.   Because of the damage they’ve done to your heart, you’ve hardened it now and refuse to let anyone in.

Consider this:

All bitterness, anger, and wrath, insult and slander must be removed from you, along with all wickedness.  And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.  Ephesians 4:31-32 HCSB

That is a tall order, but it is something that we are required to do.   I did not say it would be easy, but it is possible.

Oh I know … believe me, I hear you loud and clear.  Someone has wronged you, hurt you or your family members even.  They have done the unspeakable, perhaps.   You sit there asking yourself and staring at the screen right now asking, “How can I possibly forgive them for THIS?”!   Or you’re saying, “Shirley, you just don’t KNOW what they’ve done to me!”  No, I don’t know all of the details, but I do know this.  God will help you forgive if you ask Him to.

No where in here am I saying that the offense done to you is okay.  No where am I saying that what they did was right by any means.  I’m not excusing or condoning their behavior or mistreatment in any way, shape, or form.

When I speak of forgiveness, it’s from my own experience.  Having an unforgiving heart and an unforgiving spirit does nothing to the person that you’re holding the grudge against.  They are going on with their lives not giving your hurt feelings or wounded heart a second thought.  You, on the other hand, are torn up inside by all of this.  You have trouble sleeping because those thoughts are there when you lay down at night.  They are with  you throughout the day whether you’re at work or at play.  It torments you, and it sours your heart and outlook on life.  You fixate on the injustice.  You play it over and over again in your mind.

What good is any of this doing?   Dear one, you are only hurting yourself!

I am not asking you to forget what has happened.  I am not even suggesting that you become the best of friends with this person.  All I am saying is that having an unforgiving heart will imprison YOU!

Forgiveness is never an easy task.  It is probably the hardest thing you will ever have to do if your heart has been injured!

By not forgiving, by not letting wrongs go, we aren’t getting back at anyone.  We are merely punishing ourselves by barricading our own hearts. ~Jim Cymbala

How can you forgive when the offense is so great?  With the help of God above!

That is the only way that you will ever overcome these feelings of bitterness, resentment, and hatred.   Ask God to remove all of this, including the animosity you are feeling toward this person.  If you allow Him to, God will help you overcome and ultimately forgive so that this does not continue to consume you.

There are friendships right now on the rocks.  Something happened, someone did this or that, someone misunderstood, someone felt pushed to “talk it out” when the other had nothing further to say, etc.  There are also families torn apart by refusing to forgive their brother or sister, even mothers and daughters refusing to offer forgiveness, as well as fathers and sons.  There are relationships being ripped to shreds all because people will not forgive one another.

Who suffers more?  The person that harbors unforgiveness in their heart?  Or the person that has gone on with their lives and has let go of ill feelings?    It’s painfully obvious here who is imprisoned.   You don’t have to live like this any more.  Ask God to help you.   I promise you that He will.

Hear me loud and clear on this one.  You do not have to continue to associate with people that have wronged you.  It is okay to have boundaries in your life.  I am not suggesting that you forgive and forget, carrying on with this person in the same fashion, allowing them the opportunity to do this again to you.  No, I am suggesting that YOU are the one that barricaded your own heart due to their offense.  You are suffering greatly and would benefit from letting God work a miracle in your heart by releasing the bitterness, resentment, and hatred that you have been carrying around for way too long.  Release it and you release yourself as the prisoner that you’ve held hostage for so long.

Tear down those walls that you’ve built up.  Remove the barricades around your heart.  By forgiving, you release yourself!

Will you prayerfully consider making a list of people that you are harboring ill feelings toward?  Will you ask God to help you in this area?   If you need someone to pray with you, I will be glad to pray with you.   Just please don’t carry this around with you another day.

We are guest posting on a friend’s blog today about all things Mom (her link to this post is here at Sidetracked Sarah). I used this picture previously during a Moms4Moms Movement day, and now here is the post that ties the two together:

Recently I participated with the Moms4Moms movement on Facebook. This day was set aside for bloggers in our area to come together in agreement that Moms need support. Period! Whether you are a mom that works outside of the home, or whether you’re a stay-at-home-mom, support and encouragement are always needed and are definitely welcome on both sides! The same is needed for breast feeding vs. bottle feeding moms, and those that chose co-sleeping or those that did not. The list goes on and on, but the whole point behind this day was to honor Moms everywhere by simply offering support, encouragement, and love to other mothers!

I know … I know! Everyone has an opinion on all of these topics and more. That’s all well and good as we are all free to choose what works and what is best for OUR family. Let’s focus more on loving and less on tearing other people’s choices down. What works for one simply may not work for others. But, it works beautifully in their family, and that is what matters most! The family is thriving, and they are happy. Ultimately, that is the goal of every mother!

Consider the following if you’re ever tempted to judge how another mother chooses to parent. Think of the struggling single mother going through a divorce that she did not want but is forced to face. Think of this mom having to leave her beautiful baby girl in the care of others while she worked long days to support her little one. While her heart and soul longed to be with her precious baby, it just was not in the cards for her as she had to work to put food on the table and to keep a roof over her little one’s head. This mother doesn’t need blank stares or for you to look down your nose at her. What she truly needs is an understanding heart and someone that will give her a much needed hug every now and then. She tries so hard to keep it together every single day never allowing herself to focus too long at the situation because in doing so, she would crumble. Instead, she chooses to move forward, doing the best that she can for her little girl. Although she’s worn out at the end of the day, she eagerly leaves her job, rushes to the daycare center where she is greeted by a warm smile and huge hug from her baby girl. She takes her home and they spend so much quality time together in the evenings and on weekends, and then as the work week begins, she is forced to do it all over again.

Consider the following, too, on the other side. Think of the stay-at-home-mom that is judged for being lazy and doing nothing all day. What you don’t see going on behind her four walls are the endless hours that her baby cries because he has colic. What you don’t see are the sleepless nights, the days she struggles to make it through all alone caring for her little one every minute of the day. Consider all of the diapers that she changes during the course of the day. Consider all of the feedings, the many times she is spit up on, and yet again another seemingly endless cycle rocking the little baby, trying to console the little one by doing everything in her power, yet nothing seems to work. Is that “doing nothing all day?” Is that “being lazy?” Certainly not!

Now think of the mother that so desperately wanted to breast feed, but she was unable to do so. Her milk supply just wasn’t sufficient, and she was forced to bottle feed. Oh, before you judge and rant about how “breast is best,” have you considered the possibility that she wanted to, yet couldn’t?

There are plenty of ways that mothers tear into each other on a daily basis. There are plenty of reasons NOT to as well. No matter which side of the argument you’re on in the above mentioned scenarios, I’m sure we can all agree that Mothers need love, support, and encouragement. Who better to do this than other Mothers?

There is so much judgment in the world today. We feel bad enough about ourselves as it is without the world tearing us down. Don’t add to it by ripping each other to shreds. Join hands with the mother on the other side of your choices and stand as a united front. We are all Mothers! And that is our greatest “Super power!”

Let’s encourage each other more!  Please also visit Holley Gerth for her weekly “link up” on Wednesdays where tons of encouragement is shared!

There are several verses in the Bible that remind us that there is such power in the tongue. A few of those are as follows:

Matthew 12:36-37 ESV
I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

Proverbs 21:23 ESV
Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.

Proverbs 18:21 ESV
Death and life are in the power of the tongue …

Recently, my family and I have witnessed people tearing others down with their words as well as others who used their words to, instead, build others up. Which type of person would you like to be around? Which type of person are YOU?More

This old familiar hymn keeps playing over in my head. My thoughts begin to wander to days prior that were spent with my loved ones that have since passed on.

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to know,a
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, (it is well),
With my soul, (with my soul)
It is well, it is well, with my soul.More

Everyone wants to feel like they are a part of something, like they matter, and that they fit in. If you’ve ever seen a person or a group of people that looked “cool” to you, and you thought, “I sure would like to be a part of their group,” then this one is for you.

Just recently, I put myself out there with a group of people. They said that they were a group of Christians serving the community as their ministry. I was impressed with them at first due to how it appeared initially. I wanted to be a part of this group, too, because I felt like we had a common desire to serve alongside each other.

Before too long, I started to hear some things from others that had been involved with this group. I did not want to believe it at first, and so I reserved comment as I had not observed these things myself. I actually sat almost in complete disbelief More