Brief
“I’ll be brief …” my mother-in-law used to say.
It left you wondering if she was short on time or just tired of talking to you. Laugh if you will, but honestly, it made me wonder each time I heard her say it.
We didn’t always have the best relationship, and my heart is heavy because of that. But, I don’t shoulder this alone. She felt it, too, I believe.
The most amazing thing happened prior to her passing, though. We had an opportunity to talk about past hurts. Although we could not get lost time back, we could make amends over anything that may have been a wedge between us before.
And I sobbed deep, gut-wrenching sobs right in her hospital room, then released any bad vibe we ever had between us. Right then and there, it was resolved. Nothing mattered but the time we had left with her.
Brief.
That was the time we had with her after that.
It went extremely too fast.
We made the most of our time left with her, though.
This time of year always makes me think of that. As we prepare for Thanksgiving and Christmas, I remember how she wanted us to gather at her house for the holidays. Although she couldn’t prepare the feast as she once did, she had it prepared by a place in town that she loved. She invited us to her house, and we all gathered around together to enjoy.
I’m so thankful for the time we spent with her in her last days.
My husband likes to hop on the “shoulda, coulda, woulda …” train and go on down the track. But I focus on what we actually DID with her. Those are the memories I choose to cling to and what I focus on.