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Light, Love, Hope

Light in the Darkness Surrounded by Love with Hope for those in need.

Food For Thought

We Care Wednesday: God’s Artistry

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Take a look around you. What do you see? Do you stop to notice a lavender sunset? Do you wonder at the beauty of a sunrise on a spring day? Do you notice the different shapes of clouds floating above you? All of these things are God’s artistry in action. Each and every thing on earth is God’s artistry in action; every single thing. That includes you and I.

We are masterpieces of God’s artistry; each of us in our own special way. You may wonder how can we be a masterpiece when some are born with some sort of difficulty. God creates us in a certain way as a start to our canvas. He then gives us the chance to take that canvas, add brush strokes to create ourselves into the masterpiece of our choosing.

In our world here on earth, we treasure masterpieces of art and handle them with utmost care. Yet, we don’t do this with ourselves or those around us much of the time.  Should we not consider each and every person and creation of God a masterpiece to treasure and nurture? We have the chance to paint brush strokes on the canvases of others with our words and actions.  Should we not take care in what we say and do to others so as to not discolor their masterpiece?

You are a masterpiece. Treasure yourself and those around you as such.

Vent To God

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When you need to “vent” to someone, when things are troubling you and you feel like you just “have” to get them out, who do you turn to?

In the past, I have gone to friends or family members when I needed to talk.  This has helped, especially when the person, like my daddy, listens, comforts, and loves.  When others start to condemn or criticize, that is when it starts to get a little touchy.  Often times you just need someone to “listen.”   While I don’t expect everyone to sit quietly and take in all I’m saying without uttering a word, I would like the words to be respectful and loving that they speak to me, especially in my time of need.  If I have trusted them enough to talk to them about what is bothering me, surely they could have some compassion and carefully select the words they speak back to my troubled or broken heart.   And … surely what I say would be kept in the strictest of confidence when taken to a trusted friend.

That is how it is supposed to work, but unfortunately, I have learned a very valuable lesson the hard way just recently when I have taken my broken heart and placed it gently in the hands of friends.  I shared things that really were hurting me and that threatened my family.  I spoke openly about those things as a way to cleanse my soul by not internalizing any more.  I was letting it all flow freely from me because I just had to get it out.

What happened next wasn’t pretty.   I later discovered, by one friend’s admission, that she had talked privately with another of my friends.  The two were almost comparing notes on what I had told them, and when one didn’t know one piece of information, the other offered it up to them.   My friend admitted her part in this, even sending me the private messages shared between her and my other friend.   I read through all of the messages almost in disbelief initially.  Then, there were some proud moments as I read how each friend cared so much about me and really loved me.  I know they were concerned for me with what had just taken place and threatened my family.   I could see that in their words, but the more I read, the more vicious some of the messages appeared to be … and some times they were aimed at my beloved … while other times they were aimed right at me.

Now that it was finally out in the open, both friends have apologized to me … but it still hurts and makes me unable to fully trust again with intimate details of my life.  Maybe at some point I will get past this and be able to share again, but for now, I will have to return to internalizing a lot of things.

Or will I?

It has dawned on me that when I have felt and currently feel that I have no one to talk to … why am I not turning to God?  It hit me like a ton of bricks.   He is the One True Friend we always have, and He loves us unconditionally.   Why, then, do I trust others to go to them instead of trusting GOD by taking all of my worries, concerns, fears, doubts, and hurts to HIM?

Think about it for a moment.  Why not take ALL of your worries, cares, and concerns to Him?   The bible says to cast ALL of our cares on Him, yet so many times we hold them in, we fret and are consumed with anxiety over things that we feel we are facing alone.  The truth is that if we’d carry ALL of our problems to God as He has asked us to, we wouldn’t feel so alone.   We wouldn’t have to try to solve all of the world’s problems because we do not possess the power to do so.  Some times we can’t even help ourselves with OUR problems.  But I know One who can … God!

I know that a friend’s voice is clearly heard.   If we call them on the phone, write a message to them, or see them face to face, we can clearly hear their tone of voice to know how they are saying it or as we’ve gotten to know them, we can pick up their “tone” even in written words.   We get feedback from them instantaneously.   We hear what they think and how they feel about the situation.  Often times they hold nothing back, even when they should due to the impact it has on our hearts and souls.   Maybe that is the attraction, the draw to sharing all with a friend.  We can hear them in return.

Do you feel that the silence is deafening?  When we take our problems to the Lord, do we feel that we get nothing but silence in return?   Consider this.  We can’t hear God’s voice whispering if we have so many distractions and don’t still our minds long enough to consider what He may be saying back to us in return.   Yes, we talk to God … but consider that He wants to speak to US, too!  And even if we don’t hear that still small voice right away, we begin to see His hands at work in our lives.   He knows what is going on with us any way, but He wants us to come to Him.  He wants to hear it all – the good, the bad, and the ugly.  He wants us to trust Him.

I can guarantee you that God won’t go behind your back to talk about you.  I can guarantee you that God won’t hold a grudge against the person or situation that caused you great pain either.   That is yet another problem when you take things to friends or family members.  When you’re hurting in the moment and you need a way to release it by talking about it, once it has been spoken and leaves your body, heart, and mind … you are able to regain your composure and work things out even better than before in your life.   Yet, the friend or family member you carried your concerns to will NOT be so quick to release the feelings they have about the troubles you shared with them.  If you were having problems with your husband, child, or in-laws, the friend that you went to will not be so quick to release their feelings about the situation.  Long after you have moved on from that situation and things are better between you and the person, the one you went to will continue to hold on to the problem and will often times bring it back up to you, as if you needed a reminder.

I can assure you that God forgives you if you’ve wronged someone, and I can assure you that God forgives others that wrong YOU, too, if they ask.  Yes, the one you initially had problems with where you needed someone to talk to about what was going on … and yes, even the one that talked behind your back with your other friend about your problems.  If they ask for forgiveness and truly mean it with their whole hearts, God will forgive them, too.

We are all children of God, and He loves each and every one of us with the same unconditional love.   It doesn’t matter what we’ve done, while it may break His heart to see it, I believe He will still forgive us of our wrongdoings if we ask with a sincere heart and repent from our sins so we don’t do these things again.  Repent means to ask forgiveness and then turn from our sins!   If you took part in something that hurt someone else and you asked for forgiveness from them, be sure that you also ask God for forgiveness for your part in all of this.  If you ask with a sincere heart, you will be forgiven.  Then don’t allow yourself to get back into that situation again.  Don’t betray a friend by talking about what they shared with you with someone else.  I can assure you, God will never do that to you.

My lesson learned the hard way this week:  when you need to vent … vent to God, instead.

 

Words

Be True

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In the fallen world that we’re living in, it seems so easy to betray someone.  Without giving it a second thought, people lie, betray, deceive, and cheat on an unsuspecting soul.  Ah, but don’t think that you’ve “gotten one over” on someone because although this trusting and loving soul believed in you and didn’t see this coming, God knows and sees all.

You may think that you were slick and have gotten by this time, or you may even have the “What they don’t know won’t hurt them” type of mentality.  What I’d like you to realize is that you’re only hurting yourself for when the truth finally comes out (and believe me, it will … truth always prevails) you will have lost all of the faith and trust that this person once put into you. Not only that, but you will lose the respect they had for you as well.

Will you be able to hold your head up high then?  Will you be able to look yourself in the mirror every morning with the knowledge that you betrayed the one person that had such faith and trust in you? Will you be able to live with yourself knowing that you betrayed someone that believed in you?

This person that has been so faithful and loyal to you did not deserve to be deceived, and even the act of omission is being deceitful.  When you purposefully withhold information and are not up front with that person, you are betraying and being deceitful.

How would you feel if you were on the receiving end of this?

I’ve been mocked throughout life for being “too gullible.”  Let’s pause for a moment and realize what this very word means:

Gullible – Merriam-Webster Online, www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/

Gullible – easily fooled or cheated; especially : quick to believe something that is not true. Full Definition of GULLIBLE. : easily duped or cheated

So I’m the gullible one.  I’m the one you mock and laugh at when you have purposely set out to fool me or cheat me?   Why is this viewed as a character flaw of mine, yet you’re the one smiling because you’ve easily deceived me? You’ve lied to me and you’re boasting of the fact that you’ve betrayed my trust in you? Honestly tell me, is this something to be proud of?  In my book, it’s not.  Something that I highly respect is when a person is honest with me.   When you show that you’re trustworthy, loyal, honest, and true – that is when you can brag and smile proudly – when you show me that you’re a man or woman of integrity and of good character.

Don’t laugh at me for being “gullible” or pity me for being so naive.  I don’t deserve being laughed at, mocked, or pitied for being an honest person expecting to interact with other honest people in this world.

Let’s look at the word naive for a moment, shall we:

Naive – Merriam-Webster Online, www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/

naive – having or showing a lack of experience or knowledge : innocent or simple

I don’t lack experience or knowledge.  I’ve been around the block quite a few times and endured a lot of heartache and pain in my lifetime.  I’ve been betrayed more times than I care to remember, yet I still choose to see the good in people.   I am not lacking anything … I’m simply choosing to love and believe that there is good in every one that I meet.  Some will abuse it.  Some will try to use it to their advantage.  The innocent or simple girl that is so easily deceived.  Oh yes, that’s something to be proud of – that I am an honest person and expect honesty in return.  It’s not a flaw in my character that I’m so trusting.

The next time you think of betraying someone, stop and ask yourself how you would feel if someone did this to you.  Consider the hurt you’d feel if you heard someone talking about you behind your back when you trusted with all of your heart to find that the person simply wasn’t trustworthy after all.

Think before you speak, before you act, and before you betray another innocent and unsuspecting soul.   Even if they don’t ever realize what you’ve done, God sees all.

Take action on this Tuesday and right a wrong!  If you have wronged someone in ANY of the above ways mentioned above, make it right today.  Fall on your knees and beg forgiveness from God for betraying a friend, family member or loved one, and then go to that person and beg forgiveness as well.  Confess what you’ve done and vow never to knowingly and willingly lie, deceive, betray or cheat them or another person again.   Be a person of good character.  Be a respectable person of integrity.  Have good morals and values about you.  Be loyal.  Be true!

Be The Change

Be Purposeful When Giving Thanks To God

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I have witnessed God’s hand in quite a few things recently.  One situation had one of my best friends in a panic, and rightfully so!   The news threatened to bring her world crumbling down around her feet.  Would she receive a phone call that would leave her devastated, or would she be able to sigh a big sigh of relief?   No one knew … except for God above!   We waited, and we prayed … although words failed.  What exactly CAN you say at a time like this?  I tried on several occasions to find something to offer in her time of need, and although I have been told that I’m quite long winded when I talk and write … this time, I had nothing that I felt of value that would ease her pain.  No words would be powerful enough to lift her out of this pit of despair.   Instead, I sent all of my love her way and flooded the throne room of God with prayers on her behalf.   In my inability to produce the “right” words, I simply kept reassuring her of my love and prayers so she would know that she was not alone in this.  She confided in me, and I had no words other than:

“I love you, I’m here for you, and I’m praying for you!”

Maybe that was all that truly needed to be said after all.

We waited … together, yet states away.  Oh the agony of waiting for results.  It adds more wrinkles onto our faces that we try with all of our might to keep as young as possible with all of the anti-wrinkle cream we smear on, and yet … there’s another one brought on by stress!   We hold our heads in our hands as we wait, some times taking both of our hands straight back, stroking our hair as we go, then holding our hands clasped together tightly behind our heads.  When we turn to face the mirror, we see yet another gray hair popping through.   Yes, anxiety at its finest!

Oh I know … you’re not supposed to take on someone else’s problems as your own.  They aren’t supposed to affect you.   BUT … when you love someone, you hurt when they hurt!   When they are struggling, you ARE affected because of how close you two are … it’s bound to affect even the toughest person on the face of this earth when someone they love is going through a hard time with their future unknown and unsure of what is to come, especially when it involves their health!

Then, the moment we had been waiting for.   The phone call was finally placed and my friend picked up on the other end as her words caught in her throat as she forced herself to remain brave no matter what the caller had to say concerning her results.

In that tiny moment, a fraction of a second, everything changed for her.  Completely!  Her outlook … her uncertainty … as she received the best results ever!  No cancer was found.  NO CANCER WAS FOUND!  NONE in that area, in the area of great concern … NOTHING WAS FOUND!!!!

When I received the news, I wanted to get out of my chair and dance around the room!   I can only imagine how SHE felt!

Oh happy days!! Happy days, indeed!

And then came the moment where I stopped everything I was doing and went to God in prayer.  This time, my prayer was full of praise and thanksgiving.  With a grateful heart, I thanked Him for sparing my friend, for the good news she had received, and for having His hand firmly upon her life.

Not too long after that, I sat silently wondering if she had done the same thing.  Had she taken the time to thank God?   Had she offered words of praise and appreciation for all He had done?   I’d like to believe that she did.  Only God knows for sure.

That thought needed to be explored as I firmly believe that more thanksgiving needs to be offered up to our Creator!   Thus, this blog post was born!  🙂

Have you ever taken the time to think about this, though?  Honestly?   We have no problem bombarding heaven with our requests, our wants, wishes, and desires.  We hold nothing back when we’re begging God and pleading with Him.  Yet, when He reaches down His great and mighty hand and heals the person or fixes the situation, do we take time to adequately thank him?  OR, do we sigh and say, “Well, that was close!” as we go about the rest of our day without giving this answered prayer another thought?

This is where we need to be purposeful, people.  This is where we need to take the time to thank God for how good He has been to us, because He is so very good to us all.   If we can take our prayers to God when we’re asking for this, that, or the other … why, then, can’t we take our grateful hearts to Him as we extend the biggest praise and appreciation for all that He has just done in our lives and in the lives of our family and friends?

God deserves more than just a “Whew that was close” or a “Well, thank God for that!”   He deserves sooooo much more!

Let’s be intentional with our praises … Let’s be purposeful with our thanks that we offer up to God.

Think of a situation right this minute that you’ve prayed over.  Something that may have been troubling you that you took to God in prayer.  Even if it was just a silent prayer from your heart to God’s ears … He heard it.

If God answered your prayer the way you wanted it answered, did you take the time to thank him appropriately?  God didn’t halfway do something, so don’t halfway praise him or thank him for it!

God has answered a prayer in my own life just recently, and I thank Him from the bottom of my heart.  Trouble seemed to come from every angle, even when I tried to just “Be still and know that He was God.”   The waves of hurt and pain crashed over me like the high tide rolling in at the beach lapping at the dunes threatening to spill over them, too!   I struggled … I prayed … I begged … I pleaded … and I felt like I was standing in the eye of the storm.   Then it felt just like God stepped right in the center with me and raised His powerful hand, and in an instant, the storms stopped raging around me.

My simple whisper of a prayer reached God’s ears and spoke to His heart:

Please God, please … put us back together!

And He did.  It was slowly at first, then everything started falling into place … only better this time around.   Yes, God answered prayer in His time, in His way, and with HIs divine touch on our lives.

He is worthy of our praises.  Fall down on your knees and thank Him.  Praise Him!  Lift your head up and look toward the heavens, then allow your praises and prayers of thanksgiving to now freely flow as you pour it all out and show your appreciation and gratitude for God above.

Take the time!  Be purposeful when giving thanks to God!

 

 

 

 

 

American Indian Heritage Month

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What is now upon us? American Indian Heritage Month. What does this mean? To many, not much. We have many (Insert race) Heritage History months.

What does it mean to me being Native American (Comanche)? Being raised by a mother who was raised on a reservation, being taught Native American culture, language and history along with the same from my fathers side or “taibo.”

I spent the better part of my early school years living a life that was similar to the lyrics of the Cher song “Half Breed.” I had longer hair than many of the girls in my elementary school and even had a bird feather left on my school desk by a wanna-be-bully.

I have always been more drawn to that part of my heritage than my “taibo” side. My mother had my naming ceremony early in my life, but I have very little memory of that day. I do, however have a deep and binding tie to that name. I don’t know how my mother knew me so well at that young age (I was 3) of what I would become as an adult. She gave me the name “Waya Ka-ni” which loosely translated means “Wolf who watches over.”

I met my spirit guide when I was a young teen after my mother passed away — a large black wolf, who has been with me my entire life since that first meeting. My life, personality and values are that of a wolf. How she knew. I’ll never know.

Native heritage, Native culture, Native beliefs.   What does all that mean? How can anyone begin to understand in simply 30 days? I don’t think that anyone can. However, I do believe in the awareness brought up by the media; showing that the Native peoples of America have a deep, rich and very long culture, deeply rooted in the life force that is Mother Earth. We all come from her. All races, colors and beliefs start with Mother Earth, and it is to her we will all return. Now this is all that I have believed, what I have been taught. Every living thing has a spirit, and if you only listen, you can hear them. To this day, I can still hear my mother. Her name was “Tauni-mara” (which means North Wind).

Native American people have deep beliefs in community, “It’s not what you have, it’s what you have to give.”

I was asked once by an adorable nine year old girl, “Are Indians dirty?” Was I offended? How could one be offended by such an innocent question. Over the decades Native people have been portrayed as “savages,” “uncultured,” “barbarians”. People always fear what they do not know. In this case this sweet little girl was simply curious and asked a question probably based on some photos she had seen in school depicting Indians living in teepees. I answered her simply, “No we are not, we are as clean as you and your family.”

My second example would be driving to work. I have on occasion seen someone having a dream catcher hanging from their rear view mirrors. I can only chuckle. Why, you ask? A dream catcher should only be hung where you sleep, so I chuckle thinking that person must sleep a lot in their car. It’s not a decoration. To many Native people, it is a special tool for allowing their children to sleep soundly without nightmares. To allow them to come to the creator without fear.

I was told once by someone that they had “become Indian.” (Insert confused head tilt here.) Huh? My only guess to that is that this person was taking on the beliefs of Native people. Though, I am not sure of how one “becomes Indian.” I mention this because it is these situations that proves to me the need for a cultural awareness and education.

The Native cultures run long in history and deep in tradition. Some may seem to people silly or even ridiculous. I say to them, to many Native people the “taibo” can be just as silly and ridiculous. Just because it is different, does not make it any less important. Coming to a beginning of understanding that Native People are different – in every way. We may put on a suit and tie, or a lab coat, or a hard hat, but we are all still red men inside.

I have often suggested to, well, just about anyone that would listen, to find and attend a pow wow in their area. The beating drum is the living beating heart of the people. It is there you can gain a little more understanding of the Native people all around you. We are still here; Living our lives, raising our children, looking after our families.

I say “Thank you” for the American Heritage month. It’s a start, a start down a path of knowledge and understanding. A start to the appreciation of cultures that are long, deep and rich. We could celebrate a heritage month a little bit every day.

I am ever grateful for the teachings of my mother. Ever thankful to my ancestors for helping me.

Life is a circle. When my circle is close to completing, I will return to Mother Earth and to my ancestors and hope they accept me for trying to live my life with honor.

You have noticed that everything an Indian does is in a circle, and that is because the Power of the World always works in circles, and everything tries to be round … The Sky is round, and I have heard that the earth is round like a ball, and so are all the stars. The wind, in its greatest power, whirls. Birds make their nest in circles, for theirs is the same religion as ours…Even the seasons form a great circle in their changing, and always come back again to where they were. The life of a man is a circle from childhood to childhood, and so it is in everything where power moves.
–Black Elk Oglala Sioux Holy Man

 

A Calm State of Panic

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I imagine on some level we all experience this same feeling at some time in our lives; a calm state of panic. We try to be still and to let be and let God and be open to whatever may next greet us on this trail of life. Instead we feel ourselves set adrift on the seas of life with land in sight but no clear sailing as yet to shore. It is during these times that we hope for the best while remaining mindful that things may not have the outcome we pray for so deeply. When in a Calm State of Panic, I think it’s possible that you – the reader – like me, are hanging on emotionally for dear life hoping that nothing tips the precious boat of life we have so carefully crafted. The boat we thought infallible. The boat we built on faith and trust and belief that there would certainly be rough waters along the way but not that we’d capsize – or come close to capsizing…multiple times. The boat all our hopes and dreams rest in. I don’t know about you but I’m tired of the hurricanes and floods; I’d prefer small swells to overcome, thank you!

I try to remember that when I feel set adrift yet again, perhaps lost at sea for a bit, the way home may involve a rough entrance through the waves rushing to the shore before you can disembark and move on. Sometimes the waves are mighty and huge and very intimidating depositing you somewhere you’d never intended to be; perhaps feeling as if one must pick up the pieces, start over and make a life from this point forward. Sometimes under the calm waves lurks a sneaky and hazardous riptide ready to pull you back out to sea, back into the turmoil, the uncertainty. Sometimes you get extremely lucky and the waves are calm and prove to be nothing more than a momentary bit of drama made big only in our heads or a tide so even and calm that one glides to shore. What matters in those moments as you ride to shore is to hold dear the gratitude felt knowing our craft is built with might on our hopes and prayers and dreams and that it is the sturdy craft that survives to shore, no matter what the conditions. It is with strong, unmovable hope and faith that we hold on to our dreams and with prayer that the boat stays together, weather’s all storms, holds us together in love and belief that we will not be abandoned this time around either. It is the knowingness that during the time between leaving the clear ocean and finding abrupt shore that one has no control; there is a greater influence at work and “it” is in charge, not you. It is clear to me that this is the moment when one must enter a Calm State of Panic hoping and praying you arrive safely on shore once again but being aware that it’s a process to get to where one wants to be. There must be trust that the ocean will behave as you hope and pray it will, that no rocks or shoals are found as you head for the comfort and safety and knowingness of land. That the thing that is Greater Than You will guide you and those you love to peace and serenity and comfort and joy.

When our only choice is to let go, we must let go and let be – that is if you don’t want to drive yourself nuts with worry and anxiety over “what could be”. It is now that we must be observant and change course if necessary, to allow the panic but see that it is but a small part of our overall belief that all is well and we are each in the place we are meant to be. Perhaps the ride in will teach us new lessons this time around, who knows? My hope today is that I am open to “what will be” as I have no ability to control outcomes during the ride to land or emotional safety. The sometimes rocky ride to shore we take requires us to be patient, to believe what we see and hear but not buy into the insecurity of the blind and faithless. We must trust that with God’s guidance, the wave ridden to peace will take us not only where we desire to be but where we are meant to be. I want to be one of the mighty and courageous who fight their way to land each and every time and never gives up or flounders at sea. Our only true choice is to live with an open heart, to believe in possibility and trust that whatever the journey, it is the right direction for us and Creator would not lead us where we were not supposed to be at that time.

I don’t know about you but I am tired, extremely, bone-deep-tired of finding my boat put out to sea, waiting and watching to see what tide, what type of tide, will bring me in this time around. Are those storm clouds in the distance or is it my mind playing tricks on me; false evidence appearing real? For me the hard part comes in trusting my instincts while having patience and faith as my craft arrives on shore riding the waves of life along the way. Being tired does not stop the ride; it only makes one dig deeper to find the spark of “I can” that exists in each of us. “This shall not defeat me!” It could be difficult to look back at my boat’s Captain’s Logs and see the long list of past events which have made many arrivals on shore surely not the most easily traversed or the arrival a sure guarantee; it could lead to great discouragement on future attempts. Will I dodge another rough entry or will this landing be a “batten down the hatches” memory – or will I have imagined the worst only to experience a peaceful, enjoyable ride in? It is in my Calm State of Panic that I drop anchor out at sea and determine weather conditions and how I will remove the gap that leaves me emotionally stranded at sea while seeing so clearly the beautiful beach and shore that awaits me. During this time I must “read” the waves and watch the ebb and flow of water/life before I make my ultimate return to land where the panic will subside and I will know where I am, how I am to proceed and to get on with the business of living a full life. I only need be patient and lead with the faith of a child to allow God to do His work in my life and to trust that His work is healing work, loving work – He will see that my preciously-built craft holds together in whatever the conditions may be to the shore and that faith and belief and love will triumph once again! We do not always know exactly where we will land; it’s more of an “I’m aiming here…” (pointing to a general location on a map) situation but where we land is determined by Creator and our next task is to repair and store our vessel for the next ride and be grateful for the gift of solid footing while it lasts. There is but one guarantee; there is no controlling Mother Earth or the weather or even when God and the angels decide to have a romping, roaring time bowling in heaven and it is the fool’s task to make such an attempt.

I have come to learn that the ride in may be rough but with faith and courage, I will walk in the sand on the shore admiring a quiet sunrise or sunset knowing that I – and my place in the world – are secure once again. “Just believe,” are the words ringing in my head and heart at this time! Today I have achieved a cautious Calm (yet aware) State of Panic. I am holding fast to reality in that the weather conditions have not yet been determined for this passage to shore but that once given the weather conditions, I can survive whatever storm or pounding wave that wants to toss me overboard and leave me rolling in the surf. My craft is strong and held together with the love of God and He will see that I stay secure in my sturdy boat of faith and love. I rest in the knowledge that I will come out stronger and wiser with a deeper respect and stronger belief in He That Can, and Will, if I step out of the way and let Him do His work in my life. I cannot fight the weather if I don’t know what weather to fight. My role is to pay attention to the signals around me, to listen when Spirit wants to show me the way; to not reject the direction given me simply because it is the more difficult journey. Patience; God will bring the necessary knowledge in His time; I will not be left to float aimlessly about in doubt but will sail with direction in faith that I am rowing with the movement of the water and not against the tide of life.

Remember, your boat is capable and built of courage and faith and belief and all the things we need to achieve our goals. Your craft is strong and will weather the storms of life – you will know and grow strong and courageous in the love and belief that comes from having stood tall and unafraid of “what may be” because you live in the blessed understanding of knowing “Who Is”. God does not intend you to doubt. He intends you to have full faith and to believe no matter what the conditions that currently surround you may be, you will get through, you will ride the swells, big and small, and comfort and safety and love will find your heart and bring peace upon it again.

You will get there – your craft is strong.

“When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for us to stand on or we will be taught to fly.”
Patrick Overton

Is Heaven for Real?

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I just finished reading the book “Heaven is for Real.” I watched the movie made from the book as well. This book was given to me quite some time ago but in all honesty I was afraid to read it. Why? I knew that I would have a very hard time getting through the book because of experiences I have been through in life.

The book is about a four year old boy who is placed into a life threatening situation because of a burst appendix. His survives his brush with death and begins to tell his parents that he visited heaven while on the operating table. I won’t go into any more details as I highly recommend you read the book or see the movie.

As I said it was hard for me to get through this book. Ten years ago, on a day in July, I spent the afternoon holding my mother’s hand during her last hours on earth. This first of August will mark a year since my little sister passed away. Yet those aren’t the only reasons this book had such an effect on me. I can, in a small way, relate to what this boy experienced.

Let me first say that no, I have not visited heaven. At least I don’t think I did. Actually, I really don’t know what happened. I have a heart condition. Some time ago, my heart went out of rhythm and it would not go back on its own. I spent three days in the hospital hooked up to monitors and being fed drugs that were supposed to make the chambers of my heart work in a normal rhythm again. The cardiologist explained that a condition like this, as acute as it was for me, had to be rectified within 72 hours or there was a chance I was suffer permanent damage to the heart muscle and possibly even death. If the drugs did not “flip” the heart back into rhythm, they would have to stop my heart for fifteen to twenty seconds then resuscitate me with a defibrillator. I would be given a “cocktail” of drugs that would put me to sleep and stop my heart; essentially I would be placed in a state close to death. I was told I would not feel or remember anything. Well that didn’t happen.

For some reason, I have a resistance to anesthesia. I have woken up during surgery before (but that is another story). They gave me the shot to put me under. The next thing I remember is being in a place that was all white. I can’t say I was floating as it didn’t feel that way. I felt a more at peace than I have ever felt before. I can’t explain it any other way. It felt wonderful. I remember thinking I didn’t want this to end. Then I began to see these colors passing by and all of a sudden I was awake. I opened my eyes to see the nurse standing over me and I blurted out; “That was cool!” I explained what I had just experienced and she just looked at me like I was out of my mind. I haven’t told many people about this as I figure most people would have the same reaction as the nurse did that afternoon.

Is heaven for real?  Since this experience, I truly believe heaven exists. This belief, or faith as some may call it, has gotten me through the experience of watching my mother slowly slide away before my eyes and the shock of my sisters passing. I miss them terribly but I know they are with God and their suffering is over. I am not an outwardly religious person. I keep that between God and myself; at least until now.

The book is “Heaven is for Real” by Todd Burpo. I highly recommend it if you haven’t read it already.

We Care Wednesday: Show Sincere Interest

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Last week I talked a little about how we all feel the need to know that we are important to someone. It gives us a wonderful feeling that we matter in this huge world we live in. One way to make a person feel good is to show sincere interest in something they love. I will relate an experience I had with this over the past weekend.

I went on a wonderful four day weekend event called the Brickman Bash. This is an event put on by musician Jim Brickman where his fans get together for a weekend of events, concerts and some time spent getting to know Jim himself. As I have mentioned in previous posts, I am a shy quiet person. I go on these events by myself so I sort of keep to myself. During dinner on Saturday night the tables were setup in eight foot lengths so ten to twelve people could sit at a table. As I was looking around for a corner table to sit at with a lost look on my face when a woman asked me to join their table.

I was right in the middle between two groups having different conversations. I started thinking of some of the things I have recently read in Dale Carnegie’s book. So I thought I might try some of his suggestions for “making friends.”

The woman sitting next to me started showing some photos she had taken of wildlife in their area. The photos were truly amazing. So I complimented her on her photography skills which led her to start pulling up picture after picture. Now to be honest, wild life photography is not my thing, but her photos were quite good and very professional. I kept complimenting her on them and making suggestions for her on places she might be able to sell them as graphic artists are always looking for good photos to use in their works. She was having a wonderful time showing me the photos. I could see that my interest in her photos truly gave her pleasure. It was a wonderful feeling to see her so passionate about her photography.

You can make an impact on anyone you meet by showing interest in them; especially those in your family. Take a little of your time and spend it with them encouraging them in whatever they like to do. It will make more of a difference to them than you can ever imagine.

The Art of Forgiveness

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Yes … you read the title correctly.  I decided to call it The Art of Forgiveness because it truly is an art.  It’s not something you can haphazardly go after.  It is something that takes time, determination, precision, and something that you continually have to work at … just like a piece of art.  If you were a painter or a sculptor, you would not give up so easily with the wrong stroke of your paintbrush, nor would you destroy your creation by an error made during the process.

Let’s explore a little more in this regard, shall we?

Since I enjoy painting, I will imagine you sitting in an art class with your white, crisp canvas before you with all of the pretty colors on your palette.  Oh, they are mixed just beautifully, darling.  There are soft colors and vibrant ones waiting to leap onto your canvas to create your best masterpiece yet.

You lean forward as you carefully place the tip of the paintbrush onto the canvas in a sweeping motion.  Within minutes, it comes to life with a beautiful scene taking shape right before your very eyes.

Now, some can freehand the image while others have to draw it onto the canvas beforehand to get it “just right.”  Regardless, you sit with superb posture, leaning in then back again as you take in the sight before you.   You hold your mouth in a way that shouts determination.  You wrinkle your forehead slightly as you lean in once more.  Then all of a sudden your paintbrush slips and paint splatters where you certainly did not intend for it to go.  Oh no!  Your masterpiece is surely ruined.

Or is it?

In frustration you stop and draw in the longest breath of your life.  You hold it for a moment and then slowly release it as you contemplate how in the world you will ever fix this mess.   You sit back slowly in your chair looking at the painting.  When once you had such high hopes, now all you can see is the destructive mark made by the paintbrush when it slipped from your hand.

You have a variety of feelings coursing through you at this point.  Frustration and anger mount as you fuss at yourself in your head for making that mistake.  Oh, why did you have to be so careless, you scold … why couldn’t I have paid more attention?  Why didn’t I try harder?

You glance at your neighbor’s painting to see them smiling as they delight in their piece, and yet, here you sit.

Then, you gather your composure and try to figure out how to make something beautiful out of this … Surely everyone will be able to look at this and see the error I made so why do I even bother? you ask yourself.   And without blinking, the thoughts Because it’s my passion and it’s worth it in the end! rush in.

And so you pick up that paintbrush and begin again.  You forgive yourself for the mistake you made, for the accident that happened, for something that was beyond your control at that moment in time … and you work hard at correcting it on your canvas.   Where once you imagined a hammock, now you think of a way to fix the paint splatters and so you work toward placing a beautiful flowing tree blowing in the wind near the banks of the water … all of this slowly begins to take shape now on your canvas as you correct, as you forgive the mistake you made and make something beautiful out of it after all.

If you get in a place where you simply cannot imagine how you’ll fix THAT part of the painting, you can always call in the art teacher for surely they know the answer when you tried desperately to fix this on your own.

And you create your masterpiece after all.

How in the world does this tie in with the art of forgiveness?  Well, my friend, I’m glad you asked.

We are only human, and in this life we are going to mess up.  We are going to make mistakes.  There will be people along the way that will hurt us, and we will hurt others, too, but certainly not on purpose.  Things will happen that will injury us and will pierce the hearts of those we love dearly.  We would never inflict pain upon a person intentionally, but in all of our humanness, it happens.

Just like you would not destroy the painting or punch a hole through the canvas just because you made a mistake, you most certainly wouldn’t end a friendship or a relationship when a person has wronged you.   At the first sight of trouble, you wouldn’t pack up and leave the relationship, just as you wouldn’t trash the painting for a few splatters of paint.  No, instead, you would try to salvage it.  You would give it your all in trying to mend the relationship.  If you’ve hurt someone, you would go to them and ask for forgiveness and hope that some day it would be granted to you … just as you would hope that someone that offends you or hurts you greatly would come to you and apologize asking for your forgiveness as well.   You would take responsibility for you actions, even if that meant stopping to take a good, hard look at yourself in the mirror to see the error of your ways.

You might even wring your hands  or run your fingers through your hair in desperation as you cry out …

And just like the teacher that stepped in when you had done all that you could possibly do, our God will do the same if we only ask Him.   For some reason, the one that holds all of the answers seems to be the very last person that we turn to when we’re in trouble.  We worry over situations and agonize over things for days.  When we’ve tried everything humanly possible, then and only then do we go to the great Almighty … when we can do no more to fix the situation, we turn it over to Him.  He will fix it all for us, if we only ask.  Some times it might not be in the way that we would like, but it is His will and what He knows is best for His children.

Forgiveness takes a lot of soul searching, and you do grieve and hurt when someone wrongs you.  When you are offended or injured by someone’s words or actions, it takes a lot to finally say okay … I’ve reached a place where I feel forgiveness is possible.  You can look yourself in the mirror now and say I forgive you as you ease up on yourself for the mess you’ve made in this life.  You turn to your family or friend, your spouse or your co-worker and say I’m sorry … please forgive me and you mean it with your whole heart.  You own it, and you take responsibility for your actions.   You no longer make excuses for now you’re striving to mend broken hearts.   You pray over the people and you pray over the situation.  You cry until you feel as if you cannot cry any more, and then you turn it over to God.  He picks you up and holds you in His loving arms as He comforts as only He can …

And then, something magical happens.

Slowly, things feel better.  Maybe just a little at first, but the hurt isn’t as intense any more.  As more time passes, you can touch that part of you and it doesn’t send you wailing to the ground in a heap.  You no longer tremble with fear of what has happened.  You begin to forgive yourself for the part you played in the situation, and you begin to forgive the other person.

It takes time … but hearts can be mended.  Forgiveness can be sought and granted.   Lives that once felt shattered can be put back together.

Do you have someone in your life right now that you know you’ve offended and would like to make things right with?   Think on this and consider reaching out to them.  Think of your part and examine yourself.   Pray about it and ask God to help mend broken hearts and put you two back together, if at all possible.  Then look yourself in the eyes in the mirror and forgive yourself.  Now reach out to this person and also ask for forgiveness.   Humble yourself before them whether it’s in an email or a hand written letter … but preferably in person, if possible, where it will have the most impact.   Pour your heart out to them and see what happens.   Know going into this that you cannot control another person … you can only control yourself.   Be willing to accept that they may not be in the same place as you are right now, and so forgiveness may not be as easy for them as it seems to be for you at this moment in time.  Realize that you may have to offer your sincerest apologizes and feel the person still harden their hearts as you turn to walk away … but know that you’ve done your part.  They will think back on the situation, and they will think of your apology in the days to come.   You will make an impact in their life.

If someone comes to you in this same way, if you don’t feel ready just yet to let go of the offense, then you have that right to carry it with you.  But, ask yourself how it is helping you or the situation to hold on tight to this?   Wouldn’t you feel better if you forgave the person?  Wouldn’t it make life easier if you vowed to begin again with them?  I’m not saying to wipe the slate clean and pretend nothing ever happened or forget and go blindly back into the same situation.  No, but what I am asking you to do is to pray about the situation and consider the times you have messed up and have sought forgiveness.   You would want the person to forgive you and offer you another chance.  Or, even if you two didn’t remain the best of friends or continue on in the relationship, wouldn’t it help to know that you two forgave each other and could go on peacefully in the world after having that forgiveness granted?

Prayerfully consider the art of forgiveness and see how it improves your life.  Holding on to bitterness, resentment, and anger does nothing to hurt or injure that person … but it hurts you in the end.  It imprisons you.  Release yourself from this prison and consider the art of forgiveness today … extend it to anyone who may have offended or hurt you in the past, even if that person was yourself.  If you’re holding on to regrets, consider forgiving yourself today.

 

The Art of Forgiveness

Stand Or Sit?

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What do you do when you know something is wrong? What do you do when you see or witness something that you know in your heart just should not be ? What in creation can we do? What does God expect of us when we see something happening or about to happen and we have the power to stop it?  Do we stand by silent, or do we stand and voice ourselves?  Do we stop what we know to be wrong, or do we sit silently and as the years go by yearn for what might have, could have, should have been or what we might, could, and should have done? Do we stand and fight for what is right, or do we sit out of fear of losing that which we hold most dear? Do we get involved and stop what we know to be wrong, or do we sit and spend year after year having regrets for not taking action?

I try to live my life without regret. I try (the key word in that statement is try), I try very hard to do what I would consider “the right thing.”  I do have one regret, and that is what spawned this posting. The time when I could have stood up, had my voice be heard, stopped something I knew down to my toes was wrong … I didn’t.  Instead, I was a coward, and I stayed put, not muttering a word. Yes, I said coward.  That is what I was –  plain and simple, a coward.

I have faced my own mortality on more then one occasion, looked death in the face and said, “Let’s dance, you and I.”   I have stood up to prominent physicians, at the risk of not only my job but reputation. Why this one time … this ONE time in my life when I could have stopped something that i knew was wrong on every level … why did I sit on my hands and let the universe go out of balance?

My ancestors called out to me and urged me to have the courage to do what my heart told me was the right thing, regardless of the potential personal loss. To this day, it is my one regret.  It was a mistake I feel everyday of my life.

I look back with tear filled eyes, saying, “If only” … if only I had the courage … if only I had the strength … this one time!

There are times in our lives that we have to make a choice. The right thing may bring personal hardship, loss and emotional pain. The easy road is just that, the easy way out. But is the lingering pain of regret worse? For me, it is.

The saying around now-a-days is “YOLO” meaning You Only Live Once.  A very wise and caring person once wrote to me and said, “We are not guaranteed another day.” Life is short. You shouldn’t spend it with regret or plural … regrets. Live it to the fullest, let yourself be loved by those who have it to give to you. Discard those who would use you or take you for granted.

If only you have the strength, if only.

When that time comes in life when a choice is to be made, what will you do?  Will you look down the easy path, or will you draw your sword and charge down that path of hardship because your heart says, “That’s the way to go!”?

If I could go back in time and correct a mistake I made, I would do so without hesitation. Ah, but alas, we cannot go back, only forward.

Learn from yesterday, plan for tomorrow, and live for today.

I live with my regret and touch it daily.  I pay for it with tears and a shattered heart. If I have learned anything from my yesterday, I will not be sitting down anymore. No, not any more. I have my feet firmly planted in the ground. I don’t know what the path in front of me will bring. I only know that I haven’t fought this hard to be IN this life to stay sitting any longer. So I say, “Look out world, the wolf is off the chain.”

I may have regrets but realize there is nothing I can do about the past.   However, please know that I am not letting it govern me. I am proud of all of my scars. They prove that I have fought and fought hard, which is something that I will continue to do.

So, to life I say, “Bring it!  I’m up off the ground and will never go down again!”

And so to the question, “Stand or sit?”  I now say to life’s challenges, “Let’s dance … you and I.”

The right way is not always the popular and easy way.  Standing for right when it is unpopular is a true test of moral character– Margaret Chase Smith

Be Thoughtful

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Do you practice being thoughtful of others?  Merriam-Webster defines thoughtful in three ways.  The one I want to talk about today is this; “showing concern for the needs of feelings of other people” or their full definition: “given to or chosen or made with heedful anticipation of the needs and wants of others <a kind and thoughtful friend>.”

In today’s world it is so very easy to get wrapped up in our own lives that we can lose sight of what is going on with those family and friends that are an important part of our life.  There is a wonderful book that I am re-reading to gain some more insight as to how I can be a better person towards others; Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People.”  There is a singular concept that is talked about throughout the book that really hits home with me; we all need to feel important.  This doesn’t mean we all have to have a big ego, it just means we all need to know that someone thinks of us and cares about us.  I try very hard to live my life within this philosophy and to treat people with kindness, compassion and respect for their feelings.

Being thoughtful towards others is not difficult.  It could be just remembering a special day in someone’s life and letting them know that you do remember.  It could be stepping aside in a long line at the supermarket to let someone go ahead of you when they have a few items and you have a cart full.  It is as easy as holding a door open for someone.  All of these things can be considered being thoughtful towards another.  Just doing a small thoughtful gesture for someone can brighten someone’s day.

Take a moment today and think of those you care about.  What is some thoughtful gesture you could do for them today?

Be thoughtful!

This was supposed to be a part of the We Care Wednesdays segment.  Yesterday, Tamela shared an important message regarding the need for everyone to feel loved.  Gregory’s message complements it and goes hand in hand with the message that everyone needs to feel important!   Therefore, we thought we would share these two back-to-back … We Care Wednesdays and now Thoughtful Thursdays.  🙂  We hope you enjoyed! ~Shirley

We All Deserve Love!

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I have been thinking lately about my upbringing and the parents who raised me.  My father was gone most of the time deployed out at sea somewhere and so it was my mother who primarily raised me.  I honestly do not know what it was about me that bothered my mother so but I just didn’t fit into her “ideal” of womanhood (neither size, personality, behavior).  I was labeled by my early teens as the “trouble maker” and the one who always talked back.  I didn’t see myself as a trouble maker nor did I see myself as someone who had the nerve to talk back to a mother such as mine!  But that is how she viewed me and, in the end, it left me feeling unloved and unlovable because my own mother found fault with me, I was imperfect.  I had this message so deeply ingrained in me that it took years to truly overcome those messages of old and move into a bright, happy, secure-in-self-love future.

It’s just so sad that some walk this earth feeling as if no one has ever loved them, truly loved them.  They have lived existences I cannot recognize and wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.  Some live in their heads unable to see and feel the love available to them; some just won’t open their eyes to what’s so plainly in from of them.  For whatever reason, it seems to me that it’s easier to deny love than it is to accept love.  Have we become people who choose to question love instead of openly welcoming it?  Have we all somewhere along the lines received the message that we are all defective and not loveable – not deserving of freeing, soul-lifting love??

I was told for many years that my “picker was broken” – meaning that I always chose men who were either not emotionally available or that wanted to use me all the time pretending they loved me – when I was just meeting a need of theirs until they found someone new to use and abuse.  I had so little faith and belief in myself that I subjected myself to bad love.  I did not know the extent to which I’d taken in the words of my youth, “You are not loveable.”  I believed no one would ever love me or truly want me forever in their hearts and the men I dated all seemed to bear out this one simple self-fulfilling prophecy.  You see, that’s what it was, a self-fulfilling prophecy.  When I took in the messages and words of my youth, I took them in completely and truly felt and believed that I didn’t deserve to take up space or breathe air or receive love because I’d been labeled “bad” and that’s just who I was…bad.  “Bad” people don’t deserve love.  While love may have been staring me in the face – I’d deny it just to make sure I maintained that “I wasn’t loveable” message.  In adulthood, I did not “own” the fact that I could define myself any way I wanted; instead I slipped into the old messages and managed my life in a way so that no one, truly, ever had the chance to try to love me.

For someone to carry the message that you aren’t right for this world, you didn’t deserve to be here, just exist but don’t be noticed, don’t draw attention to oneself – it’s hard moving into the adult years believing that you have a future or that there is goodness and grace down the road, if you are only patient.  It’s hard to believe that anything you do is of value or has worth – because if it comes from someone who is worthless, how can their work be worthwhile?  I lived the belief that I was unlovable and thus fulfilled my own prophecy by not finding true love till later in life – after I had found my own self-love and discovered that what I’d been told growing up was just a bunch of bunk!

Inside each and every one of us lays a seed, a spark of belief that if nurtured can result in true self-love and when we realize this, we begin the walk away from falsehoods put in our heads at a time when we knew no better.  Some of us need to seek professionals to lead us to new thoughts and beliefs – sustainable thoughts and beliefs.  Others need to walk the path of self-discovery on their own – uncovering as they are ready the truths that are part of their lives.  Some of those truths aren’t so pretty and our tendency is to run instead of confronting them.  But hang in there, every obstacle you’ve overcome in your life and every obstacle you will face in life IS NOT insurmountable!  Especially when those obstacles are self-created in your own head and not based in the truth of who you truly are!

I beg of you, do not ever allow anyone but yourself to define who you are, what you stand for, what you believe in, what you deserve.  God did not create us to live in fear and pain and the knowledge that we aren’t good enough.  We are all good enough and deserve to be loved as we want to be loved.  It’s worth holding out until you find that unconditional love you may not have yet received in your life – your OWN unconditional love.  Until or unless you love yourself fully, take care of you fully, allow yourself to be loved fully – until you stop fighting the messages in your head – you will live in the place of fear and the sad knowledge that you “don’t deserve love.”  We ALL deserve love; some are just harder to love than others!

Today I let others have their opinion of me because trying to change another’s mind is seriously not my task to do today.  Today my job is to find self-love, self-acceptance and to be ready and open for the next person I can love and who will love me in return.  Today my choice is to not live with old messages that want entrance into my brain to repeat all the negative stuff doled out in my youth.  Today I live in the present and deal with what’s in front of me; the rest is up to God and His “staff” of angels.  Today it’s my job to trust in the process and that I am being led to my highest good.  Today I know I am lovable, not just because I exist but because I know now true love, lasting love, lifetime love.  I could not have achieved this place had I not let go of the belief that I was, heart and soul, unlovable.

WE ARE ALL LOVEABLE!  Know that.  Feel that.  Think on that.  Breathe that in.  It is truth.

We all deserve love!

Part of my own self-love today is recognizing when someone wants to feed me false information about myself – I no longer live on what others think of me.  Who I am, what I am today is based on my beliefs today and not of the past.  No one can define me but myself and this person, me – today – is lovable and deserving of love.  Seek love.  Seek the peace that love provides.  I keep in mind today that my God is a forgiving God and if God is capable of forgiving me, He’s more than capable of forgiving you and taking away the negative thoughts you’ve carried for too long.  Try to give the negativity to God and live a life of belief and love.  You can’t live in grace until you’ve released you inner demons.

 

Love Yourself God's Creation

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