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Light, Love, Hope

Light in the Darkness Surrounded by Love with Hope for those in need.

Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day, Part II

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My original Mother’s Day post was written late last night.  My parents made a special point to celebrate me yesterday, which was an extremely nice surprise.  Today, the surprises continue with Mother’s Day, Part II.

This sweet young daughter of mine had Starbucks waiting on me this morning, complete with a caramel ribbon crunch frappe and a cake pop.  She didn’t stop there.  She also had me a sweet card and a ceramic seahorse with shells and sea glass, which she knows is one of my absolute favorites!

What a nice way to start the day!  How sweet she thought of me and took her hard-earned money from her part-time job and spent it on me!  She certainly did not have to do this, and I was not expecting a single thing.  But oh my heart!

Now, I sit in anticipation as my sweet oldest daughter and her husband will be arriving soon.  It was her idea to cook supper for me so I could have the evening off.

I definitely raised them right!  Ha ha!

They are both incredibly thoughtful and put others before themselves.  Both of my sweet daughters make sure to celebrate me and never let an occasion go by without letting me know how much they love and care about me.

My heart is so full, and I am truly thankful to God for both of these beauties that made me a mother!

 

Mother’s Day

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Happy Mother’s Day to all you beautiful women out there.  Whether you have given birth or have rallied around those who have … this day is for you, and you deserve to be treated like the queens that you truly are!

Mother’s Day is tough for a LOT of women, though.

There are women that tried so hard to have children but were unable to do so.  There are those that lost precious babies they prayed and begged God for.  We don’t know why bad things happen to good people.  It’s one of those things we will ask when we get to Heaven’s gates, I suppose.  For now, we ask God to heal our broken hearts and meet us right where we are in the midst of our grief.

Mother’s Day is tough on those who have lost their mothers, too.  I hope they took the time to acknowledge their mother’s when they were still here on this earth.

Today my parents took me out to celebrate Mother’s Day with me.  I am the mother of two beautiful young ladies who are now grown.  I am also a mother to an angel in Heaven that I have not seen but loved with my whole heart the moment I found out I was pregnant.  Having lost this little one at six weeks was extremely hard, and I know there are other ladies reading this that can relate to what I’m speaking of.  One sweet day we will see our precious little ones we never got to hold this side of Heaven.

I’m thankful for my two daughters.  They, along with my parents, try to make Mother’s Day special for me, which I greatly appreciate.

Once upon a time when my grandmother and mother-in-law were still on this earth, we had a special Mother’s Day meal at our house for them. It was my privilege to do this for every special occasion they would agree to come to my house to allow me to celebrate them.  My mom and dad are still here with us, thank GOD, and I pray they will be for many more years to come.  I love them with my whole heart and want so many more years with them.  I pray that God allows it.

One particular Mother’s Day, I recall getting my mother, my grandma, and my mother-in-law flowers.  I wanted to make sure there was a special flower for each of them.  It was important for me to let them know how much they meant to me.  Whether I was celebrated or not, it didn’t matter.  Oftentimes, the only ones that celebrated me were my parents and my daughters.  That was okay.  I’m not sure why my grandma or my mother-in-law didn’t think I needed to be celebrated for having their great-grandchildren or grandchildren.  Even still, I celebrated them.  Now that they are gone, I’m still glad I did this for them.

I’ve been married and divorced, and I recall my first husband saying he didn’t celebrate me because I wasn’t his mother.  Yet, I was the mother to his child.  But that was okay.  I didn’t need him to celebrate me either.

My second husband doesn’t need to celebrate me either because I’m not his mother.  It would be nice, though, if the suffering I did to bring these two men’s babies into this world was cause for them to stop for a moment and recognize me for the gifts I have given them and the world.

Yet, it is okay if they don’t celebrate me.  The ones who make me feel truly loved and cared for take time to show me … their words and actions truly line up.  I don’t just hear the words, “I LOVE YOU!”  I FEEL them!

This message is to all the moms that don’t feel celebrated by the ones that say they love you.  Take time to celebrate yourself.  YOU are WORTHY!

You don’t have to have gifts showered upon you, although that is nice when someone takes the time to give you a gift from their heart.

What I want you to do is take a good look at yourself in the mirror.  That woman looking back at you has been through so much in her lifetime.  There have been times she has been celebrated, and there have been times when her heart has been broken because she wasn’t acknowledged.  Today take time to love yourself.

YOU are important.

YOU are special.

YOU are worthy.

YOU are loved!

YOU are appreciated.

If no one else tells you, I will make sure to do so.

Happy Mother’s Day to every women – even the dog moms deserve to be celebrated for all they do for their fur babies.

Wrap yourself in love today and every day.  Celebrate yourself.  You deserve it!

Honoring Mothers Every Where

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Yesterday was Mother’s Day.  It was a day honoring mothers every where.   That includes YOU, dear mother that is reading this that often times feels like everyone else gets honored on “that” day but you.

I have been there.

There was once a time when I felt like I was lost in the shuffle on Mother’s Day.  The festivities fell on my shoulders … to make sure my mom felt special, to make sure my grandmother felt special, too, and let’s not forget that I also had to make sure that my mother-in-law felt special as well.  I was the one that people looked to and expected something to be done to “celebrate” the mothers in the family.  Yet, I was and am a mother myself, so who was supposed to celebrate … ME?

At one time, I felt selfish for these thoughts.  Not any more.

I AM a mother, and I DO deserve to be treated special.  Not just on one day a year, though.  Yes, mothers get special recognition on that day for all that they do.  But, I hope you’re showing your mother or the mother of your children DAILY how special they are and how much you appreciate and love them.  They work long hours with little recognition for all that they DO.  As the saying goes, “A mother’s work is never done.”  It seems like that, doesn’t it with the endless pile of laundry that seems to breed and multiply in the laundry room and clothes hampers!

But, yes, at one point I felt selfish for wondering who was to celebrate me and how long did I have to “mother” to qualify for someone celebrating me.

I finally decided that my husband was perfectly capable of celebrating the woman that brought him into this world and raised him.  I no longer needed to carry the weight of this on my shoulders to do things “just right” to celebrate her.  She wasn’t my mother.  Oh that is not going to come off nice to some of my readers, but I inherited her when I married him.  Whether he celebrated her in years past and how, he did without me then … so if he wishes to celebrate her now, he can still do that without my help.   No, I don’t harbor any ill feelings toward his mother at all.  Please don’t read that into this.  But, she was one of the ones that didn’t really celebrate me.  Finally, she did start mailing me a card, which I appreciate.  It took YEARS for me to “qualify” to be a recipient of a card from her, although I am the mother of her 10 year old granddaughter in addition to her 18 year old step granddaughter.  Yes, I think I more than qualify for someone to celebrate me instead of me always being the one to celebrate everyone else and make sure they feel special on Mother’s Day.

Although my late grandmother would come to Mother’s Day dinner at my house along with my parents, my grandma didn’t celebrate me either.  I always had her a present when she came, and I made sure to recognize her.  I just did not “qualify” to receive recognition from her, I suppose, although I’ve been a mother for the past 18 years.

My parents, though, they ALWAYS celebrated me.  I was recognized by my dad, especially, and I am so thankful for all that he has done in years past and this year included, to recognize me on this day where mothers every where are honored and recognized.

I was always so “busy” getting the Mother’s Day gifts in order as well as preparing the Mother’s Day meal … it wasn’t a day off for me AT ALL … instead, it seemed to be a day that I worked even harder, without any recognition at all for ME being a mother, too.  I worked, I did, I bought, I cooked, I made, I recognized, I honored.  Everyone let me do it, too.  My mother, my grandmother, my mother-in-law, my husband, etc.

Finally I had a melt down one year.  I said WHO is going to celebrate ME?

Well, I did NOT have that complaint this year AT ALL …

As to the answer to the question “Who is going to celebrate ME?”  My daughter … my 18 year old daughter that is graduating at the end of the month … took HER graduation money that she has received from people thus far and went shopping for me.  I did not know this at the time, but it was revealed to me this past weekend.  My darling daughter took her money that was given to her and used it to purchase presents to honor and celebrate me.  She could have (and really should have) taken that money to use on something for herself … and yet, she sacrificed so that I would be honored and celebrated on Mother’s Day.

It all started Friday when my girls announced that they would do whatever I wanted the entire weekend since it was Mother’s Day weekend.  YEA!!!!

We took off to Charleston on Friday to Magnolia Plantation and Gardens.  Oh my goodness!  If you have never been … it is a must see if you are ever in South Carolina!

Magnolia

From the historic house, to the beautiful grounds, there is so much history within the old rice fields alongside of this plantation.  We strolled through the gardens, visited the petting zoo, and enjoyed looking at the miniature horses and donkey as well.  Then, we went up to the house and played on a tree that my now 18 year old daughter played on when we visited this site many years ago.   We took pictures with the beautiful white bridge that is in a lot of people’s wedding photographs from the low country.  We were one with nature as we saw alligators in the ponds and swamps, and that was plenty close enough for me!

Magnolia Bridge

We had a wonderful day together, and then we went to the mall.  🙂  Doesn’t everyone after they’ve taken a walk back into time?

Saturday my daughter went out for a bit and returned with flowers … a dozen of the most beautiful white roses I’ve ever seen before!  I can imagine these once tiny white buds slowly opening up into these fist sized roses to share all of their beauty with us.  I placed them in a vase and then gave them a home right in the very center of our dinning room table to enjoy as we had our dinner together as a family.

Mother's Day Roses

We spent Saturday with me transferring 12k pictures from my computer onto an external hard drive for safe keeping, and then we were off to dinner at a local restaurant with my parents. Tomatoes and rice were calling my name!    If you’re Southern, you’ll understand.  If not, don’t ask.

Sunday morning I awoke to beautiful gifts from my darling daughter.  As I mentioned earlier in this post, she took her graduation money and purchase gifts for me.  She has a heart as big as Texas!    Not wishing for her sister or step dad to feel bad for not having any gifts to give me themselves, my daughter shared the presents that she purchased for me with them so that everyone would have something to give me that morning on Mother’s Day.  That was so incredibly sweet of her, and it truly touched my heart.  Later, she and I had a conversation together where she shared that although it was from her and she had this overwhelming feeling to tell me that morning, she didn’t because she didn’t want to take away from her sister and step dad presenting me with the gifts.  I told her that although she never said a word at that time, she didn’t have to because I KNEW … I knew who celebrated me.  I knew who those gifts were from.  Deep in my heart, I knew that my 18 year old daughter was the one that took it upon herself to recognize, celebrate and honor me on Mother’s Day.  Yes, my day had come … someone recognized me due to their kind and thoughtful heart without me saying a word.  No prodding, no comments, no subtle hints even.  She did this all on her own.  And my heart was overflowing with joy.

Mother's Day Gifts

After that, I reminded my daughters that they said they would do anything I wanted for Mother’s Day weekend.  Can you guess what I chose to do?  TRAIL RIDING!!!

My 10 year old daughter goes trail riding with us every chance she gets.  She loves it so much and enjoys being with her horse.  My oldest daughter, however, isn’t as thrilled to get on the back of a horse these days.  She will if I beg … but this day, Mother’s Day, all I had to do was smile sweetly as we loaded the horse trailer, packed a lunch, snacks, and drinks, and headed out on the trail.  All four of us got to go together trail riding, which thrilled my heart completely!  That was the greatest gift that money could never buy, the gift of having my family together – all of us – including our fur babies.

Mother's Day Ride

Mother's Day

After a few hours of trail riding, we returned home where shortly thereafter my parents arrived to have dinner with us.  We grilled out and had an enjoyable evening laughing, talking, and just enjoying each other’s company.

My mom was funny, though, as when she entered my house, she was talking.  I was listening to her with the biggest smile on my face as she had walked right past the dinning room table where a bouquet of flowers sat on the table.  Flowers we purchased for her on Mother’s Day.  We also had a little crystal whatnot (or as she calls them, dust collectors) sitting right beside it that said, “Love You Forever.”   I had to point at the flowers before she looked in that direction, and even then she had no idea that they were for HER … I had to tell her, and then she melted right there on the spot.

Ah, sweet moments like this will be engraved in my memory forever!

All in all, it was a perfect weekend spent with my family.  I celebrated my mom, of course.  But, my daughter celebrated ME!

My husband did take me shopping Friday at the mall, and I picked up some blouses … so that was his Mother’s Day gift to me, which I greatly appreciate.  But, knowing that my daughter used her money that was given to her as a graduation gift to purchase my Mother’s Day … there is a twinge of guilt there, but I know that she sacrificed for me.  My darling daughter thought of me … honored me … and celebrated ME.

That was a great feeling!

Just as I wrote on a Facebook status this weekend … Life is good … God is GREAT … I am blessed and so grateful to God above!

There will never be enough words to adequately express my heartfelt appreciation for what my daughter did for me this past weekend.  She’s really special.  I have known that for quite some time, but this … a completely selfless act, sacrificing for her mother … there are no words to tell you how that feels deep down in my soul.

If you are reading this and might have bombed this Mother’s Day on not recognizing the mother of your children or your own mother, take heart.  There is always next year OR the next “special occasion.”  BUT, why wait?  You can create your very own special occasion … just pick a day that you’d like to do something for them out of the blue.  You know what?  It might mean MORE to them if you do something on a day that it isn’t “expected.”  Whether you buy a gift, make one, take them out to dinner, or just sit and spent quality time with them …  you will light up their entire world with your efforts.

Take time to show the people in your life that they matter.

 

Mom’s Night Out

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Just recently, my daughter and I were invited to attend a pre-screening of the movie Mom’s Night Out.    We looked forward to the time together, and while I could have chosen to take any one with me … I wanted to take my oldest daughter for some mother/daughter bonding time!  I treasure this time with my teenage daughter!

Leading up to that evening, she mentioned how excited she was for OUR night.  This is huge for a teenager to want to spend time with her mother!  To actually look forward to it?  Priceless!

We got an early start that afternoon since the pre-screening was in another town, but we wouldn’t have missed this for anything!  If it’s within driving distance, we’re going!

On the drive to the theater, we blasted music and enjoyed singing along.  We would turn down the volume at other times to just talk and chit chat.  Then, some very serious conversation resulted from our time in the vehicle as we traveled to our destination.  I am thankful for moments like this with my daughter!  Connecting … bonding … sharing … making memories together!

We went to one of our favorite restaurants where the sharing continued.  I have felt through the years like we have gone way beyond mother and daughter and have progressed to being friends.  The very best of friends.  I love this feeling!

After dinner, we headed over to the theater.  We only had to wait in line briefly, with what felt like fifty million other mothers who were waiting for the pre-screening as well.  Even still, it was a pleasant experience with “people watching” as we waited.  As my daughter went to the concession stand, I watched mothers and daughters, different generations, standing together.  There were groups of friends out for the night as well, and the laughter and giggles made my heart smile.   My daughter returned moments later, and our laughter and giggles resumed as well.

We made our way into the theater to take our seats, and my daughter had a moment of anxiety as she saw the ones that had already been seated.  She isn’t one for large crowds and was worried of how this movie pre-screening was going to go with THAT many people present.  Her fears quickly went away as the movie began playing.

It starts out with a mom blogger who was excited to have four followers one day, and then … the next day … her numbers went down to three followers.   We had to laugh at that because who doesn’t want to know that they have people actually reading the words they type out on the computer screen.  Some times it’s funny things that we share, other times it is heart wrenching, painful times in our lives that we’re writing about in hopes that we can reach some one out there that might be struggling so that they know they’re not alone.  We write to help others … that’s at the heart of every single post that goes up on my page as well as the many other blogger friends that I know and love!

The movie goes on to depict the life of a mother with very active, younger children while her husband is away on a business trip.  Upon his return, though, this stressed out mother gets a chance to have a little fun on a Mom’s Night Out with friends!

It seemed to move slowly along at first, and I looked over at my daughter at one point silently hoping that she wasn’t suddenly dreading being there with me!   My fears were relieved when the movie’s story line picked up and once it was in full swing, there was almost uncontrollable laughter throughout the entire theater!   At one point, a few ladies, myself included, got so tickled that even when the funny part had passed, we were still trying to suppress our laughter … which resulted in snorting loudly in parts where it simply wasn’t appropriate to snort … and yet there we were … yes, I was one of “those” people that night!   I got even more tickled upon hearing a lady behind me, and I laughed simply for the fact that SHE was so tickled and could not stop laughing.  My daughter was laughing right alongside us, when she wasn’t totally humiliated by my outbursts!

I glanced at my daughter a few times just to make sure all was well, and my quick glances were rewarded with pearly whites that greeted me, reassuring me that she, too, was having a great time!  Oh thank you, Lord!   She really and truly was enjoying herself!!!

Success!!!

I won’t give any more of the movie away just in case you plan to see it, and please know that I highly recommend this movie!   I cannot stress that enough.  This movie brought out laughter all the way from the tips of my toes, it seemed.   My daughter and I have already said that we are buying this movie when it comes out on DVD!

We left the movie still laughing and talking about parts that we especially loved.  We called a friend before heading home, and we were still giggling as we tried to tell them of the fun we had that night.  There’s nothing better than being that giddy while you’re trying to tell someone else of the fun and laughter, only to have them laugh right along with you just because of how much you’ve apparently enjoyed yourself!

The movie hit theaters on Mother’s Day weekend!   What a truly fitting movie for this special occasion!   We hope you’ll plan to see Mom’s Night Out!  

If you’re a mom or know someone that is, plan a much needed Mom’s Night Out soon!  And let the good times roll!

 

 

 

 

 

In The Blink of An Eye

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Shirley, the owner and operator of Light Love Hope, is also a contributing writer for the City Moms Blog.   Her article was showcased on their website, and she is sharing it here today for Mother’s Day.
In The Blink of An Eye
I’m sure you’ve all heard it at some point or another:

“They grow up so fast!”

“Enjoy them while you can!”

“Don’t blink! They’ll be grown!”

I remember almost rolling my eyes when I’d hear this from so many well-meaning people as I strolled along with baby in tow. They would lean in, ooohhhh and ahhhh, then lay those lines on me.

Then … it happened!

momandtiffany

There I was, in the middle of enjoying sleeping babies laying on my chest, little fingers clinging tightly to mine as I rocked and cradled them in my arms. That quickly turned into playing patty-cake and chasing toddlers around as they giggled and squealed with excitement. Then I blinked, and my oldest was a junior in high school going to her first prom, while my “baby” was in third grade doing hard math problems and projects for school!

I was not prepared for this! I thought the age difference between them would protect me from the shock of my babies growing up.

I had my first daughter at the age of 25. Several years passed, and I went through a divorce. I got remarried, but then I had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy, resulting in my chances being cut in half of ever having another baby. My hopes and dreams came crashing down on the day they wheeled me in for emergency surgery. They said it wasn’t a viable pregnancy, since it was in my fallopian tube. There was no saving the tube, either, since it had ruptured. And so I mourned the loss of my child and my chances of ever cradling another baby of my own in my arms.

After many months, a lot of painful treatments, and millions of prayers flooding Heaven’s gates on their way to God’s ears, He gave me my heart’s desire. He answered my prayer! I was pregnant with my little miracle baby. She honestly is, without a doubt, a gift from God above. I remember reaching an all-time low in the bathroom of the hospital after one of my many treatments and just begging God to give me my heart’s desire … just one more little baby … just one more … and He answered that prayer! My miracle baby came into this world when I was 33 years old.

Those times seem so long ago, though, now that my daughters are 17 and 9 years old. Oh my! Where HAS the time gone?

My precious girls, eight years apart. Then ...

As you can imagine, I get a lot of comments from people when they realize the 8-year age difference between my children. Some try to make a joke, asking if I had forgotten what caused that, not realizing that it could be a very sensitive topic due to what I’ve been through. Yet, I still just smile and hold my children so very close to my heart. I always will.

They did depend on me for everything, and I liked it that way. I enjoyed being there for them and doing things for them. Then one day they did not need me to help them quite as much anymore. They could do it themselves and would tell you with such pride and confidence in their voices when they would say those words:

“I can do it myself, mama.”

I’ll never forget when it really, truly hit me. I guess I’m lucky my older daughter didn’t officially begin to pull away from me until her freshman year in high school. She asked me to walk her in for her first day of school, and I was ever so happy to oblige!

Then it happened.

We walked into the school, and all of her friends came rushing by. I paused for a moment to speak to another mother, and before I even realized what happened, my daughter had walked off. I thought for a moment I had lost her in the crowd of people, but no. I spotted her, calling out after her, and she turned around with the most embarrassed look on her face as she sighed heavily and then turned quickly to walk away.

I remember standing there in the hallway, feeling a lump in my throat but not fully believing what had just taken place. I made my way to my car and the tears rushed down. I could not hold them back any longer. I will never, ever forget the way I felt at that moment in time. My daughter later apologized to me, but there it was … the moment I had to face reality.

My baby … did not need me … anymore.

It is times like this that I am SO very thankful that my children ARE eight years apart! One baby doesn’t need me anymore, but the other most certainly does. My younger daughter still wants me to play with her as she runs around being Merrida from Brave, or shooting her bow and arrow like she’s Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games. Oh yes, she wants me to play with her, to run with her, to go on field trips with her class! She isn’t embarrassed by my presence! And so I go, I run, I play, I do … I fly high with my youngest daughter as she giggles and laughs … and I enjoy every single minute of it!

Fast forward two years from the freshman first-day-of-school incident, and my older daughter no longer seems THAT embarrassed by me. Sometimes she will even say that I’m cool and that her friends even think I’m one of the coolest moms they’ve ever met.

Me!

A cool mom!

Imagine that!

shirley's two girls now

Even though they are years apart, it still seems like they grew up so fast … in the blink of an eye! One is almost an adult now, while the other will be turning ten soon. It truly did go way too fast for my liking! I’m trying not to have anxiety over the fact that we’re looking at colleges for my older daughter. At the same time, I’m facing the reality that my “baby” isn’t a baby any longer. I am enjoying the last little bit of her wanting to cuddle with me because I know that very soon she will not want to do that any longer.

Even with the age difference, it all seems to have happened in the blink of an eye!

On days like today, I pause to consider what all of these people said to me early on when I cradled my baby in my arms … and you know what? They were right!

In the blink of an eye, my babies have grown up to be strong, independent, confident, Christ-loving young women.

And then I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I have done a good job raising them! God gets all of the praise, glory, and honor … because He gave me my little miracles from above!

Thank you, God. Thank you!

You Will Never Be More Loved Than You Are Right Now

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Mother’s Day is quickly approaching!   Today, I wanted to take a moment to recognize the hard work of mothers every where!  You truly do so much for your family and for your children, often times without any words of appreciation in return for the down and dirty duties of motherhood.  But then, you don’t do it for recognition.  You do it for love.

No matter the amount of diaper changes, potty training, or single handed food fights from your little one, you clean, you scrub, you change, you change again, and you change some more …

And then …

Moments come along that truly melt your heart completely.  These are the moments that you have your most precious jewels hanging around your neck, and I’m not talking gold or pearls … no, it’s something far more precious …

It’s the arms of your children!

Do you know that you will never be more loved than you are right this very minute?  Your children love you … all of you.  They don’t care if you have bed head or bad breath.  They don’t care if you have had a shower today or if you have on the perfect makeup and lipstick.  They don’t care if you’re mismatched with stains on your shirt.

They only care about YOU!

You’re there … loving them, taking care of them, being with them, teaching them new things yet learning from them as well.

You get to experience all of the new adventures with them.  You are traveling on this path right alongside them, and you open their eyes to a brand new world time and time again.  They stand in awe of the beauty that surrounds them.

The beauty inside of you, dear mothers.

Treasure these moments as they turn into moments with your pre-teen … then teen … and ultimately, your adult children who are your very best friends in the whole world.

These are the moments … right here, right now …

You will never be more loved than you are right now … unconditional love from your Heavenly Father above … and your precious children … who are miracles walking amongst us.

Thank you, God.  Oh, how I thank you for my two miracle babies.

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