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Light, Love, Hope

Light in the Darkness Surrounded by Love with Hope for those in need.

Words of Love To My Babies

Memories Of The Way We Were …

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Today wasn’t my usual work day.  Instead of processing all of the invoices, keying entries, writing checks and handling things in Accounting, I was sent out to help the family of this company that I work for.   It seems that the elderly gentleman in the family has been moved to a retirement/assisted living home.   This gentleman once owned the company but passed it down to the next generation who has now passed it down to the next generation as well.  While I did not have the pleasure of working with this now elderly gentleman, I have heard a lot about him through the years since I did work for this family owned company.  I have worked with and for this elderly gentleman’s son as well as now working for his grandsons.

What could this family possibly need my help with outside of work in the office?   Since the elderly gentleman has moved, his home is no longer occupied so his son and grandsons have been going through his belongings in an effort to downsize and eventually sell the home.  While going through his things, the family stumbled upon moments in time that were captured in the form of pictures, letters, poems, postcards, and cards.   It is their desire to preserve these things, thus the reason they called me to help scan in all of these memories.

I will be honest and say that this hasn’t been an easy task today as there are a LOT of things to scan in.  I will literally be at this for days on end, and I’m not even sure I’ll be finished after the three days they’ve asked me to commit to for this project.   Greg recently wrote about capturing pictures and how he jokingly refers to me as The Picture Queen, but honestly, I think this gentleman (or his wife) have me beat!   They had so many photo albums and scrapbooks piled high for me to scan!   You can look at it like there’s so much work, how will I ever get through this … OR you can look at it like a privilege to be allowed to be a part of preserving cherished memories!   I am choosing to view it in that light.  It changes everything when you change your view of things.   It truly does make a difference.

And so I set out on my journey of preserving memories.

I came across pictures of this family through the years, which is honestly what I had expected when I started.  However, I came across things that thrilled and fascinated me completely, too!

A lot of the information written on the pages of the scrapbooks and photo albums were written in German!   Since the pages were literally falling apart in my hands, I had to take each picture off of the page and place it carefully onto the glass of the scanner.   I also had to write a caption taken from the words written on the scrapbook pages and place it on the glass of the scanner as well so the family would be able to identify with the people, places, and things in the pictures when they take a walk down memory lane by going through all of these files after I’ve completed this task.

In addition to the pictures, there were pages of poems that were also written in German, as well as letters … oh the letters that this individual wrote and received!   There were cards mixed in as well, but it was the letters that struck me the most.  The date was written so eloquently at the top, almost in Calligraphy.   I remember sitting back in the chair marveling at this dirty piece of paper when I realized the date across the top!   It was the year 1918.  I’m not kidding you.  That was one of the dates in the papers that I scanned today.   Isn’t it amazing that I held a piece of history in my hands?  While I’m not sure what those German words were saying, I can imagine in my mind a love letter just pouring their hearts out to the love of their lives; their soul mates.   I can imagine the letters being written during a war as they were clinging to the other person miles and states away while they served our country.  While they were facing the enemy head on with their weapons and fighting for their lives and our freedom, they paused for a moment to share their written words with the one that they loved with their entire being.   And I … I had the privilege of preserving these moments today!

There was an artist in the family as I found numerous drawings from this individual.  One drawing in particular caught my eye as I reached for the clipping out of the magazine.  Just as I reached to place it on the glass, the drawing  from underneath it was revealed.  In all of it’s beauty and glory, there was the picture that this individual had drawn based on the clipping from the magazine.  This person had talent!   I smiled as I marveled at every line from his pencil, the way it was shaded in and how smoothly it transitioned into the next line to form the perfect picture!

Why am I telling you all of this today?   Because one of these days someone will be going through OUR things to see what treasures we have left behind.  Will our families wish to preserve our memories?  Will our families soak in all of the beauty and wonder of journals that we have left behind, or will they cringe at the words that jump off of the page at them?   Will they consider it an honor to read your words, thinking of them as simply beautiful, passionate, and so full of life?   Or will they close the book never to open it again?

One of these days we are all just going to be a memory … will you be a good one?   I certainly hope that my family and friends will remember me with such a warm feeling in their hearts and feel that I’ve touched their lives in a good and positive manner when my time on earth is no more and I’ve gone to be with Jesus.  I hope that they will search my house for treasures left behind in the form of poems, hand written letters, and yes, pictures … lots and lots of pictures.  I hope they will cherish them as much as I did while penning them or capturing those moments with my camera.

I desire to live a good life and show my family and friends how much they mean to me.  I don’t want to reserve this for a special occasion to tell them “then” of how I feel.  No, I want to live it to the fullest each and every day not letting a single minute go by without them knowing in their hearts how I feel about them.   I want them to know … and I want them to FEEL it!   Long after I’m gone, I want them to still feel me with them in their hearts … I want to love that strongly, that completely, that passionately that they forever feel me with them and a part of their lives.

This gentleman traveled the world … literally.   There were two photo albums packed full of postcards from different places that he had traveled.  They weren’t pictures of where he’s been that he’d taken, but instead, they were postcards of these places.  Yet, the memories those postcards provoked in him … I’d like to imagine that they still stir in him to this very day.  He lived his life.  He did the things his heart desired and the proof is within all of the pages of these photo albums and scrap books.  He lived … he loved … he did as his heart desired.

Are you living your life to the fullest?  There’s so much out there to do and see.  Are you doing the things that bring you the most joy?  Are you seeing new and exciting places?  Are you engaging in things that your heart desires, or are you waiting to do it “one day.”    Ah dear one, don’t wait … “one day” may never come.   Don’t look back with regrets.  When you’re older, like this gentleman, don’t sit there and say, “If only I had …”  Go out now and DO it so you’ll have beautiful memories to reflect back on later.

Leave your own mark on the world!  Leave your loved ones with fond memories of the way we were!

God’s NOT Dead

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My daughters and I set out on an adventure yesterday determined to find only things that brought joy and happiness along our path. We haven’t spent a whole lot of quality time just the three of us as we have done family things together for as long back as we can remember. That was always important to us, but now that they’re getting older, THIS is important, too. The reality of the situation is that my babies truly aren’t babies any more. Time is slipping away and is going way too fast. No amount of begging and pleading will make time stand still, so I must just seize the moment with them, live, laugh, love, and enjoy! I intend to do just that! Now, more than ever, I need to be sure to nurture the friendship aspect of our relationship. As I move from being their mother, directing their every steps and tending to their every need, to friend, the one they look forward to hanging out with and doing fun things with … these are the moments that will turn into precious memories that hopefully my children will treasure for years to come and look back fondly on if the Lord should call me home.

God's Not Dead Girls' Movie Night

We stopped to eat at their favorite restaurant where any onlookers would have sworn we hadn’t eaten in a very long time with the way we were savoring and enjoying every bite. We just haven’t been there in forever, so our taste buds were dancing with delight. Once all of the little tummies were satisfied, we went on to the movies!

My oldest daughter mentioned the movie God’s Not Dead to me before. It, apparently, was mentioned at the Christian school that my children attend, and it interested her a great deal. I listened as she talked of what she had heard the movie was about. To be honest, I wasn’t that interested in the movie upon hearing about it. For me, I know that God’s not dead. I don’t need a movie to tell me that or to convince me. I know in my heart, and that is all that I truly need. But, it kept coming up in conversation a lot. So, last night my daughters and I went to see God’s Not Dead.

Even though we had just eaten, we stopped off at the concession stand as my oldest daughter just had her braces taken off a few days earlier. She hadn’t been able to enjoy movie theater popcorn in a year and a half. We knew going in that she would have a large tub of popcorn pretty much all to herself, and that was perfectly fine with me.

God's Not Dead Movie Popcorn

We took our seats right square in the middle of the theater. People started filing in, and this proved to be a very popular movie even though it has been in theaters a few weeks now.

The movie begins with a cross necklace wearing college student being warned upon registration about a particular professor. He was given the opportunity to switch classes, but he really needed this one so he stayed with it. It didn’t take long to understand why the warning was issued, though. On the very first day of class, the professor, a known Atheist, went through his usual lecture of how it would save the class a whole lot of time if they would all just write God is dead on a piece of paper with their signature. Then, they could move on to more important things that semester, according to the professor.

Several people looked around in the class as if they were unsure of what to do. Then, they started writing on their paper and passing it to the end of the row to be given to the professor. One student, however, felt very strongly about his beliefs. He sat there contemplating what to do. He knew in his heart that he could not deny God. He knew that he could not deny God’s existence and that he could not deny that God was very real working in his heart and life. He knew that although it would not be the most popular thing to do and that it would not score any points with the professor that he had … HAD … to do the right thing! And so, he refused to write that on the paper.

The professor wasn’t very pleased at this point, as you can imagine. This college Freshman was going up against the professor, of all people … in his class … in front of all of his students. How dare he, right? Ah, but this young man was brave and he accepted the challenge offered by the professor. At the end of every class, he would be given 20 minutes to state his case on why he believed that God was not dead. The professor would carry on with his class as usual with his beliefs, but this college Freshman would be given the opportunity to prove this to the entire class. The college student took it one step further and said that they would put God on trial with the professor being the prosecutor, with himself as the defense attorney, and the entire class as the jurors. They would get to decide for themselves.

Being one that does not like to have a movie or a book spoiled for me, I do not intend to do that here today with you either. Instead, now that you have a pretty good idea of what the movie is about, I will tell you of my experience while watching this movie.

As my daughters and I sat there listening to the arguments on both sides from the professor and that of the college Freshman, tears began to fill my eyes. There were several instances within the movie itself where God moved in other people’s lives. There were several story lines going within this movie, not just that of the college Freshman trying to convince his classmates and professor. There were other people’s lives involved and intertwined in the movie plot. It pulled on my heartstrings. From verbal abuse, to physical abuse, to being cast out of the family, to being told the character had cancer, to a dear family member having dementia, to a great tragedy occurring … this movie spoke to my heart in so many different ways and before I realized what was happening, tears filled my eyes and spilled over until they were streaming down my face.

Ordinarily, I would say that this movie was powerful. On second thought, it wasn’t the movie, the actors, the characters portrayed, nor their lives … it was the message behind it all that was powerful. The message … God’s NOT dead.

He’s not.

He’s very much alive and working in hearts and lives EVERY where to this very day, right this minute.

Lives … have been spared.

Hearts … have been changed.

Yes, there are still bad things that happen to good people in this life. There are a million questions that remain unanswered, most leading to us wanting to yell “WHY?!”

I don’t know why, dear ones.

But, what I do know is that God is real. He is alive. And I believe.

 

But everyone who denies me here on earth, I will also deny before my Father in heaven.

Matthew 10:33 NLT

 

I tell you the truth, everyone who acknowledges me publicly here on earth, the Son of Man will also acknowledge in the presence of God’s angels.

Luke 12:8 NLT

Mom’s Night Out

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Just recently, my daughter and I were invited to attend a pre-screening of the movie Mom’s Night Out.    We looked forward to the time together, and while I could have chosen to take any one with me … I wanted to take my oldest daughter for some mother/daughter bonding time!  I treasure this time with my teenage daughter!

Leading up to that evening, she mentioned how excited she was for OUR night.  This is huge for a teenager to want to spend time with her mother!  To actually look forward to it?  Priceless!

We got an early start that afternoon since the pre-screening was in another town, but we wouldn’t have missed this for anything!  If it’s within driving distance, we’re going!

On the drive to the theater, we blasted music and enjoyed singing along.  We would turn down the volume at other times to just talk and chit chat.  Then, some very serious conversation resulted from our time in the vehicle as we traveled to our destination.  I am thankful for moments like this with my daughter!  Connecting … bonding … sharing … making memories together!

We went to one of our favorite restaurants where the sharing continued.  I have felt through the years like we have gone way beyond mother and daughter and have progressed to being friends.  The very best of friends.  I love this feeling!

After dinner, we headed over to the theater.  We only had to wait in line briefly, with what felt like fifty million other mothers who were waiting for the pre-screening as well.  Even still, it was a pleasant experience with “people watching” as we waited.  As my daughter went to the concession stand, I watched mothers and daughters, different generations, standing together.  There were groups of friends out for the night as well, and the laughter and giggles made my heart smile.   My daughter returned moments later, and our laughter and giggles resumed as well.

We made our way into the theater to take our seats, and my daughter had a moment of anxiety as she saw the ones that had already been seated.  She isn’t one for large crowds and was worried of how this movie pre-screening was going to go with THAT many people present.  Her fears quickly went away as the movie began playing.

It starts out with a mom blogger who was excited to have four followers one day, and then … the next day … her numbers went down to three followers.   We had to laugh at that because who doesn’t want to know that they have people actually reading the words they type out on the computer screen.  Some times it’s funny things that we share, other times it is heart wrenching, painful times in our lives that we’re writing about in hopes that we can reach some one out there that might be struggling so that they know they’re not alone.  We write to help others … that’s at the heart of every single post that goes up on my page as well as the many other blogger friends that I know and love!

The movie goes on to depict the life of a mother with very active, younger children while her husband is away on a business trip.  Upon his return, though, this stressed out mother gets a chance to have a little fun on a Mom’s Night Out with friends!

It seemed to move slowly along at first, and I looked over at my daughter at one point silently hoping that she wasn’t suddenly dreading being there with me!   My fears were relieved when the movie’s story line picked up and once it was in full swing, there was almost uncontrollable laughter throughout the entire theater!   At one point, a few ladies, myself included, got so tickled that even when the funny part had passed, we were still trying to suppress our laughter … which resulted in snorting loudly in parts where it simply wasn’t appropriate to snort … and yet there we were … yes, I was one of “those” people that night!   I got even more tickled upon hearing a lady behind me, and I laughed simply for the fact that SHE was so tickled and could not stop laughing.  My daughter was laughing right alongside us, when she wasn’t totally humiliated by my outbursts!

I glanced at my daughter a few times just to make sure all was well, and my quick glances were rewarded with pearly whites that greeted me, reassuring me that she, too, was having a great time!  Oh thank you, Lord!   She really and truly was enjoying herself!!!

Success!!!

I won’t give any more of the movie away just in case you plan to see it, and please know that I highly recommend this movie!   I cannot stress that enough.  This movie brought out laughter all the way from the tips of my toes, it seemed.   My daughter and I have already said that we are buying this movie when it comes out on DVD!

We left the movie still laughing and talking about parts that we especially loved.  We called a friend before heading home, and we were still giggling as we tried to tell them of the fun we had that night.  There’s nothing better than being that giddy while you’re trying to tell someone else of the fun and laughter, only to have them laugh right along with you just because of how much you’ve apparently enjoyed yourself!

The movie hit theaters on Mother’s Day weekend!   What a truly fitting movie for this special occasion!   We hope you’ll plan to see Mom’s Night Out!  

If you’re a mom or know someone that is, plan a much needed Mom’s Night Out soon!  And let the good times roll!

 

 

 

 

 

In The Blink of An Eye

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Shirley, the owner and operator of Light Love Hope, is also a contributing writer for the City Moms Blog.   Her article was showcased on their website, and she is sharing it here today for Mother’s Day.
In The Blink of An Eye
I’m sure you’ve all heard it at some point or another:

“They grow up so fast!”

“Enjoy them while you can!”

“Don’t blink! They’ll be grown!”

I remember almost rolling my eyes when I’d hear this from so many well-meaning people as I strolled along with baby in tow. They would lean in, ooohhhh and ahhhh, then lay those lines on me.

Then … it happened!

momandtiffany

There I was, in the middle of enjoying sleeping babies laying on my chest, little fingers clinging tightly to mine as I rocked and cradled them in my arms. That quickly turned into playing patty-cake and chasing toddlers around as they giggled and squealed with excitement. Then I blinked, and my oldest was a junior in high school going to her first prom, while my “baby” was in third grade doing hard math problems and projects for school!

I was not prepared for this! I thought the age difference between them would protect me from the shock of my babies growing up.

I had my first daughter at the age of 25. Several years passed, and I went through a divorce. I got remarried, but then I had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy, resulting in my chances being cut in half of ever having another baby. My hopes and dreams came crashing down on the day they wheeled me in for emergency surgery. They said it wasn’t a viable pregnancy, since it was in my fallopian tube. There was no saving the tube, either, since it had ruptured. And so I mourned the loss of my child and my chances of ever cradling another baby of my own in my arms.

After many months, a lot of painful treatments, and millions of prayers flooding Heaven’s gates on their way to God’s ears, He gave me my heart’s desire. He answered my prayer! I was pregnant with my little miracle baby. She honestly is, without a doubt, a gift from God above. I remember reaching an all-time low in the bathroom of the hospital after one of my many treatments and just begging God to give me my heart’s desire … just one more little baby … just one more … and He answered that prayer! My miracle baby came into this world when I was 33 years old.

Those times seem so long ago, though, now that my daughters are 17 and 9 years old. Oh my! Where HAS the time gone?

My precious girls, eight years apart. Then ...

As you can imagine, I get a lot of comments from people when they realize the 8-year age difference between my children. Some try to make a joke, asking if I had forgotten what caused that, not realizing that it could be a very sensitive topic due to what I’ve been through. Yet, I still just smile and hold my children so very close to my heart. I always will.

They did depend on me for everything, and I liked it that way. I enjoyed being there for them and doing things for them. Then one day they did not need me to help them quite as much anymore. They could do it themselves and would tell you with such pride and confidence in their voices when they would say those words:

“I can do it myself, mama.”

I’ll never forget when it really, truly hit me. I guess I’m lucky my older daughter didn’t officially begin to pull away from me until her freshman year in high school. She asked me to walk her in for her first day of school, and I was ever so happy to oblige!

Then it happened.

We walked into the school, and all of her friends came rushing by. I paused for a moment to speak to another mother, and before I even realized what happened, my daughter had walked off. I thought for a moment I had lost her in the crowd of people, but no. I spotted her, calling out after her, and she turned around with the most embarrassed look on her face as she sighed heavily and then turned quickly to walk away.

I remember standing there in the hallway, feeling a lump in my throat but not fully believing what had just taken place. I made my way to my car and the tears rushed down. I could not hold them back any longer. I will never, ever forget the way I felt at that moment in time. My daughter later apologized to me, but there it was … the moment I had to face reality.

My baby … did not need me … anymore.

It is times like this that I am SO very thankful that my children ARE eight years apart! One baby doesn’t need me anymore, but the other most certainly does. My younger daughter still wants me to play with her as she runs around being Merrida from Brave, or shooting her bow and arrow like she’s Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games. Oh yes, she wants me to play with her, to run with her, to go on field trips with her class! She isn’t embarrassed by my presence! And so I go, I run, I play, I do … I fly high with my youngest daughter as she giggles and laughs … and I enjoy every single minute of it!

Fast forward two years from the freshman first-day-of-school incident, and my older daughter no longer seems THAT embarrassed by me. Sometimes she will even say that I’m cool and that her friends even think I’m one of the coolest moms they’ve ever met.

Me!

A cool mom!

Imagine that!

shirley's two girls now

Even though they are years apart, it still seems like they grew up so fast … in the blink of an eye! One is almost an adult now, while the other will be turning ten soon. It truly did go way too fast for my liking! I’m trying not to have anxiety over the fact that we’re looking at colleges for my older daughter. At the same time, I’m facing the reality that my “baby” isn’t a baby any longer. I am enjoying the last little bit of her wanting to cuddle with me because I know that very soon she will not want to do that any longer.

Even with the age difference, it all seems to have happened in the blink of an eye!

On days like today, I pause to consider what all of these people said to me early on when I cradled my baby in my arms … and you know what? They were right!

In the blink of an eye, my babies have grown up to be strong, independent, confident, Christ-loving young women.

And then I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I have done a good job raising them! God gets all of the praise, glory, and honor … because He gave me my little miracles from above!

Thank you, God. Thank you!

You Will Never Be More Loved Than You Are Right Now

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Mother’s Day is quickly approaching!   Today, I wanted to take a moment to recognize the hard work of mothers every where!  You truly do so much for your family and for your children, often times without any words of appreciation in return for the down and dirty duties of motherhood.  But then, you don’t do it for recognition.  You do it for love.

No matter the amount of diaper changes, potty training, or single handed food fights from your little one, you clean, you scrub, you change, you change again, and you change some more …

And then …

Moments come along that truly melt your heart completely.  These are the moments that you have your most precious jewels hanging around your neck, and I’m not talking gold or pearls … no, it’s something far more precious …

It’s the arms of your children!

Do you know that you will never be more loved than you are right this very minute?  Your children love you … all of you.  They don’t care if you have bed head or bad breath.  They don’t care if you have had a shower today or if you have on the perfect makeup and lipstick.  They don’t care if you’re mismatched with stains on your shirt.

They only care about YOU!

You’re there … loving them, taking care of them, being with them, teaching them new things yet learning from them as well.

You get to experience all of the new adventures with them.  You are traveling on this path right alongside them, and you open their eyes to a brand new world time and time again.  They stand in awe of the beauty that surrounds them.

The beauty inside of you, dear mothers.

Treasure these moments as they turn into moments with your pre-teen … then teen … and ultimately, your adult children who are your very best friends in the whole world.

These are the moments … right here, right now …

You will never be more loved than you are right now … unconditional love from your Heavenly Father above … and your precious children … who are miracles walking amongst us.

Thank you, God.  Oh, how I thank you for my two miracle babies.

20140503_200603

 

I Had The Best Day … With You

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My daughters and I love to sing that Taylor Swift song together, and it is on days like today that we can turn to each other and honestly say, “I had the best day … with you.”

Today was definitely one of those days!

We went to one of our most favorite places in the South … Folly Beach! They were having their 24th annual Sea & Sand Festival. Having never been in all of these years, we decided to see what it was all about. We walked through the streets filled with vendors and looked at all of the items on display. We stopped to listen to a band playing on the streets. We even looked through my daughter’s favorite surf shop there. Then, we headed to a little restaurant right on the pier to enjoy a nice meal together. We didn’t realize just how hungry we were until the food came! It was delicious, too, I might add!

We walked on the pier, all the way to the very end, snapping pictures of the sea gulls and various birds that graced us on the pier. We soaked in all of the sunshine that warmed our pale white skin. There were several times that I just closed my eyes and threw my head back as I breathed in all of the salt air and released all of my worries and cares. It was as if the birds were carrying them to God above, relieving me of the need to fuss over them any longer.

There is just something so refreshing and rejuvenating about the beach. I’m not sure if it’s the powdery white sand between our toes or the sound of the waves crashing in, but it is soothing for the soul.

My youngest daughter is her absolute happiest on the beach. She has always enjoyed it and would walk to the water’s edge, wait until the waves start crashing in, and run with all of her might back to us with the biggest and widest smile EVER on her face! She had not a single care in the world and was just enjoying herself to the fullest. We could learn a thing or two from these little ones!

As our day was winding down, we decided to take a little drive to the end of Folly. As we came to a dead end road, we pulled off to the side of the road and began to make our way down a long sandy path. It began to wind around and then … there it was … right before our very eyes … the Morris Island Lighthouse! Oh I’ve seen it plenty of times before, but every time is like the first time all over again due to the thrill that I get each and every time I see it.

There it stood … all majestic and magical in the distance …

We walked a little further, and then the path opened up to reveal the lighthouse in all of it’s glory.

My youngest daughter frolicked and played in the water’s edge near the rocks with the massive lighthouse in the background.

My oldest daughter and her boyfriend climbed the rocks.

I whispered a silent, “Thank you, Lord.”

After several rounds of pictures, we decided to call it a day. Nothing could top this moment in time … it was like the entire world stood still, and it was just us and the majestic beauty before us … being one with nature … standing on the sandy shores with the waves lapping at our feet … thanking God for this moment in time and the memories we’ll carry with us forevermore.

Morris Island Lighthouse

Live Out Loud Conference

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My 17 year old daughter and I attended a ladies only event called Live Out Loud on March 8, 2014.   How fitting that this date was also the International Women’s Day, too!

The Live Out Loud Conference was held last year in the same location in Elloree, SC.  While it was certainly close enough and I wanted to go, I was hesitant about this thing called community.  I know that as women, we crave community.  We just want to fit in, be loved, and love!   Some times, though, it isn’t that easy.  Often times we feel judged by the very same women that we so desperately want to be in community with!   My daughter, even at such a young age, has felt this way also.  We would like nothing more than to become friends with these women, yet we’re hesitant due to things in our past, rejection we’ve felt at one time or another at the hands of fellow women that still haunts us, and so we retreat to our safe place, our comfort zone and don’t put ourselves out there.   Honestly, I allowed that to hold me back last year.  However, I have grown so much in a year’s time with God’s help that it simply was NOT holding me back this year!  No way, no how!  This year instead of feeling like I needed to protect myself from others, I was craving coming together and forming friendships.  There’s always a risk involved, but it is worth it when long lasting friendships come out of it.

It was monumental for me to attend this event with my daughter as it was an opportunity for further bonding as she matures into adulthood a lot sooner than I was prepared for! (Ladies, it is true that they grow up WAY TOO FAST! Enjoy every single moment as they do not stay little long!)   Last night my daughter turned to me and said, “Mama, I’m really looking forward to our special day together.  I can’t wait for tomorrow to spend some quality time together just the two of us.”  That melted my heart completely when she said that!   Pay attention, ladies and gentlemen!  This … from a teenager!  To … her mother!   I know what you’re thinking, “Will miracles never cease?”

Throughout my daughter’s childhood, I have always had the desire to be not only her mother but ultimately, as she grew into a woman, her friend.  I had a lot of well meaning people through the years tell me that you simply cannot be your child’s friend.  They said it wasn’t possible.  Well, I beg to differ.  While my daughter knows the rules (and thankfully abides by them for the most part), she also knows without a doubt that she can come to me with any thing and every thing.   This trust, this bond, this friendship has been formed and shaped over time.  Over all of her 17 years, it has been my ultimate goal that we would end up as the very best of friends with her knowing with full confidence and faith that I would be there and “have her back” no matter what.  Oh, I have heard plenty of horror stories about how you don’t even know your child once they become a teenager, as if they turn into some sort of alien being that took up residence in your home.   While they do change, it’s important to realize that they are on a journey to their independence and finding their own identity in this world.    As parents, we are to raise them up in the way that they should go, praying for them, for their future, and for them to make wise choices.  Then we have to allow our children to grow, mature, and spread their wings and fly hoping that what we taught them along the way won’t soon be forgotten.

I’ve had people talk to me on the whole subject of “letting go” of your child, too, as they draw nearer to graduation and emerging as an adult out in the “real world.”  Just recently a friend insisted that I was going to “have” to let go at some point.  However, I refuse to “let go” as was suggested.   Instead, I intend to continue holding her hand firmly in mine as we skip merrily along while feeling the sunlight on our faces as we throw our heads back and laugh just like we did when she was little.  And you know what?  On our silly days, my daughter and I still do this.  Why?  Because it’s such fun!

Today was one of those hand in hand days where we really did throw our heads back laughing.   While we were not outside in the sunlight, nor were we alone just the two of us, we were sitting side by side in the church attending this women’s conference together with approximately 340 other attendees!

Honestly, I was worried that she would not enjoy this conference at all.  Having never been to one like this before, I wasn’t sure what to expect.  I glanced over at her a few times during the praise and worship portion, and she did not look enthused at all.   I wondered if she was just tolerating this for me.   At one point, though, they did a little skit and burst out into lip synching to “Oh Happy Day” where a woman in the choir loft was having the time of her life dancing.

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After that, things settled down and got a bit more serious.   As they did, I reached over and grabbed my daughter’s hand.  We sat there like this for a while, and then Cindy McKeowen, one of the praise and worship leaders, began to share how her 15 year old daughter went out for a run one day in 2007, collapsed due to heart failure, and died.  They never even knew that she had any health issues at all up to that point.  My daughter and I were still sitting there holding hands, and as silent tears began to fill my eyes I thanked God for the privilege of sitting here at that very moment with my teenager daughter.  This testimony from Ms. McKeowen also touched my daughter’s heart as well today.   She gripped my hand tighter as the lady continued to share her story.   Even in the mist of the storm, Ms. McKeowen said that Jesus carried her.  She wrote a song about it and shared that with the congregation.

Almost as soon as we were wiping our tears of sadness away, they were replaced with tears from laughing so hard at the former pastor’s wife turned comedian, Anita Renfroe!  Ms. Renfroe is known for the big ole belly laughs that she provides while on stage, and she definitely delivered today!   I no longer had to worry whether my daughter was enjoying herself or not as I began hearing what originally started out as stifled laughter become full laugh out loud moments as she allowed herself to enjoy right along with the rest of us!  Thank you, Lord!!  She really, truly was enjoying herself!   She wasn’t just putting on a fake smile to pretend for her ole Mom’s sake.  She was laughing so hard at Ms. Renfroe’s jokes and how she’d turn one of your most favorite songs into something that would have you almost rolling on the floor laughing!   Yes!!   Success!   What a relief!

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As we were leaving the conference, my daughter turned to me and said, “You know, Mom, I thought this might be some stuffed shirt kind of conference, but this was pretty cool!   Thank you for our special day.  I wasn’t sure about this whole thing at first, but now I’m glad I went with you.  I really enjoyed our time together.”   Ah, such sweet words  from my best friend’s lips spoken to my heart.

We truly had a wonderful time together today.  Oh how I treasure this time because of the memories we made that will last a lifetime.

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Making A Sacrifice For A Friend

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Recently, I witnessed my oldest daughter make a sacrifice for a friend.

My daughter was dating this guy for a little while, and during their time together, it was discovered that her friend had a crush on this guy long before my daughter started dating him. While in the end, things did not work out with my daughter and this guy, she had previously committed to going to prom with him. Being a woman of her word, she intended to fulfill this promise even though things were tense between them after their breakup.

I felt bad about the situation, too, in that his mom and I had become friends during their time together. Realistically, I knew that the friendship only formed due to our children being in a relationship together, and I knew full well that the friendship also hinged upon our children staying together. I had already braced myself for the fact that despite the woman saying that she would not be shaken no matter if our children remained in a relationship or not, I knew that the day would come when she and I would no longer be the best of friends. Despite what she said, I knew in my heart that this would not be a friendship that would stand the test of time. I knew going into this that it would be a friendship I would only have for a short period of time, and when they broke up, she would go about her merry little way forgetting all about the close bond that we had formed. Even going into this with my eyes wide open with full knowledge of this, I still thought it was worth investing time into her and into our friendship for the time we did have together. I believe in investing in people and in their hearts, and that is what I did.

My daughter realized, as prom was rapidly approaching, that her friend did not have a prom date. My daughter has a heart of pure gold, and she did what most would not have done. She reached out to the gentleman and politely suggested that since things were tense between them and since her friend did not have a date, maybe it would be best if he went to the prom with her friend instead. My daughter was seeking to turn this situation into a win/win for all involved. She knew her friend liked this young man. She knew that his family was close to her friend’s family. She knew that things would be tense if she went to prom with this young man after they had broken up, so she sacrificed her prom date for her friend. She wanted her friend to go with a date versus going alone. The only thing was now my daughter was without a date. My daughter did not care at that point in time because the only thing she wanted was to help her friend so that she would now be able to walk proudly into prom arm in arm with the gentleman that had actually been her secret crush in years past. Because of my daughter’s sacrifice, her friend would have her wishes and dreams come true by sharing this special moment, this event with the one she had been dreaming of for quite some time now.

I am extremely proud of my daughter for her sacrifice for a friend.

The guy immediately took my daughter up on this and quickly asked her friend to the prom as my daughter had suggested. It was working out perfectly. My daughter asked the friend the next day at school if anything happened the night before. The friend shyly responded, “Yes …” and my daughter very happily and excitedly shared that she had been the master mind behind this plan to give her friend her heart’s desire in going to the prom with this gentleman. Her friend quickly thanked her for doing this for her.

Meanwhile, my daughter was speaking with a young man as just a friend. I suggested that instead of my daughter going alone to prom that she, instead, ask this young man to prom just to see what might happen. Much to our delight, he accepted! We promptly called a place in town to get him fitted for his tuxedo just in time for prom! Things were working out beautifully!

Unfortunately, this story has a few bumps in the road before it ends with everyone living happily ever after.

My daughter and her new prom date went to eat at a nice restaurant in town prior to going to prom. Her ex boyfriend and her friend were at this restaurant, too, unfortunately. And, as a joke, apparently, the ex boyfriend thought it would be rather funny and cool to flip the windshield wipers around on the car that my daughter’s date was driving. Luckily my daughter and her date saw this and were able to fix the windshield wipers before it did any damage to his windshield. The thing here is that despite my daughter having a huge heart of gold and making this sacrifice for her friend, now these two individuals, her ex boyfriend and her friend, who were supposed to be good Christian people, committed an act so mean spirited and hateful. Her friend, a preacher’s daughter, and her ex boyfriend, a very active member of a church we attended previously along with his family, set out to do something that clearly was not honoring to God at all. This does not speak very highly of them for the prank that they pulled. However, I am once again very proud of how my daughter and her date handled this situation. When they pulled up at prom, they did not acknowledge the deed that had been done, although the ex boyfriend was outside laughing with others about it. My daughter and her date were determined not to allow this to ruin their evening. Instead, they went on into prom like nothing had ever happened. They danced, they smiled, and they enjoyed each other’s company completely. They actually looked like the happiest couple in their prom pictures, and I am one proud mother for how my daughter and this young man behaved even when something was done to them both with the intent to harm and upset them on this special evening. I am greatly disappointed in the ex boyfriend and the friend that participated in this act, though. I know that God saw it all, and He has made a record of it.

Just today we were informed that my so-called-friend, the boy’s mother, has been talking about us. That honestly does not surprise me in the least. It saddens me greatly for her to have stooped to such a low level, but I just pray for her and ask God to help her and her family. I can say that I honestly loved her completely and my friendship with her was not conditional. I did brace myself for the day when our friendship would end as I could see what would happen when their relationship ended. I still say it was worth the time I invested into this friendship. I pray for her and her family that they may find peace as we have in this situation. It is not pleasing to God to have hatred for another, nor is it pleasing to Him to have them speak harshly against my family or commit a spiteful act to harm another. I do not have any ill feelings toward them despite the latest that has come to light. Instead, I pray for them harder than I ever have before. I pray for them to find peace, as it is obvious that neither have it if the boy has harbored ill feelings and acted in a manner as he did this past weekend. It is obvious that she has ill feelings in her heart for us as well if she is speaking negatively of me, my daughter, and of our family in general. It is not for me to deal with, though, and so I do not. All I do is offer her, him, and their entire family to God in prayer. My love for them was genuine and true. And they will remain in my prayers.

I am honored to have a daughter that puts others first. She thought of her friend, alone without a prom date, and sacrificed so that her friend would not be alone on prom night. My daughter has a heart of pure gold and is beautiful inside and out. I’ve known it for quite some time, but she continues to prove it daily with the things she does for others.

For the negative things said about her, the ones that truly know my daughter know the truth … and they will not be swayed by mis-truths spoken by angry, vengeful hearts.

I thank God for my daughter’s sacrifice for her friend and only hope they appreciate this huge selfless act on her part.

Swept Away By Her Beauty

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She waltzed into the room with her beautiful blonde hair swept to one side. He saw her from across the room, and his face lit up with delight as he soaked in all of the beauty before him. Standing so tall, wrapped in deep purple satin and tulle, her train flowing behind her … a confident smile forming on her lips. He rushed to take his place at her side … these two perfect little people dressed so eloquently for the prom.

He took her hand and escorted her outside where they were surrounded by what surely felt like a crowd of awaiting paparazzi with cameras in hand, with the sound of clicking and snapping all around them. They smiled, they laughed, they enjoyed this moment together.

A classic car awaited in all of its flame redness … ultimately pleasing to the eye. They posed, they basked in the moment together.

And off they went … to my daughter’s very first prom …

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This One’s For The Girls

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How many of us would willingly admit that we are approval addicts? Let’s be honest with each other. Do we seek to please others and have them place their stamp of approval on our choices, our lives … on us, in general? If so, we can be referred to as “People Pleasers” or called “Approval Addicts.” I know. I have been there, and if I am completely honest, I am there right this very minute as I tap these words out on the computer … hoping that you’ll approve of my site, that you’ll like my writings and you’ll come back to visit. I am seeking to please you and to have you approve of me … right … this … very … minute.

We ALL want approval. We attempt to please people and hope to “fit in” with them. We all want people to like us, and it hurts when people reject us, don’t welcome us with open arms, or say bad things about us. It is hard to not have the approval that we seek from others around us and to not be included. But, the truth is that we do not need the approval of others because we already have the approval of the only one that really, truly matters any way – God Almighty. Believe me, I have struggled with this very thing. I know how hard it is to break the cycle and accept yourself, accept where you are, accept your walk, and accept, most importantly, that you do NOT need to seek to get from others what GOD freely gives us! We have His approval. We have His love. If God is for us, who could possibly be against us?More

High School Ring Ceremony

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My daughter and the rest of the Junior class received their high school rings this week.   The school held a small, but precious, Ring Ceremony in their honor.   They opened the ceremony with a special prayer.  Then they mentioned the ring etiquette and how the ring was to be worn facing you until graduation.  This inspires you to keep trying hard and giving it all you’ve got until you have the honor of walking across that stage to accept your High School Diploma!  Once that happens, you, then, turn the ring where it is facing the world as it now signifies that you have achieved your goal and have graduated!More

Children Are A Gift From The Lord!

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I have been so blessed as I engaged in community with Good Morning Girls and their Facebook group.

Today’s scripture really thrilled my heart.  I have often said that my girls are my heart and soul.  They are the reason that I’m here on this earth.  I fully believe that.  My children have inspired, encouraged, and uplifted me without even trying.  It just comes naturally for them.

My children are my life!More

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