A Day For Love?
Everyone is talking about Valentine’s Day. Oh, they get so excited about exchanging cards, little boxes of chocolate candy, the prettiest flowers, colorful balloons, and even smaller boxes containing little treasures for their loved ones. This is a very special day, indeed. But, a day for love? Really? Just ONE day? That’s a sad thought right there if that is all you focus on is that one day on the calendar where you feel like you’re mandated to get your special someone a gift or show some type of recognition out of obligation. What about celebrating love each and every day? How about 365 days for love? Now, that’s more like it!
Allow me to share a thought provoking quote below:
Do what you did in the beginning of a relationship and there won’t be an end. ~Anthony Robbins
How many relationships do you know that start out just wonderful? They call just to let you know that they are thinking of you. Or, they send a special text message that is waiting for you when you rise in the morning or another right before you lay your head on your pillow to go to bed at night, not to mention a few scattered texts or calls throughout the day just to let your special someone know that you’re thinking of them. How about special treats for them “just because.” A special pie or cake that you make (it can be a male making it for a female, too, you know!). Flowers delivered “just because” on no real occasion except a beautiful day that the Lord has made. A hand written love note. A hand made card. Just because.
Think about it.
The sweet nothings whispered in your ear all year through …
The candlelight dinners and chick flick movies where you sit for two hours watching a love story unfold right before your very eyes where the couple lives happily ever after. YOU can live happily ever after with your special someone, too, if you only keep the fire burning within your relationship.
Too often people get comfortable in their relationships. They do all of these great and wonderfully sweet things to “catch” their mate, and then when they “have” them, they stop. Why? The point wasn’t “just” to win their heart and then never do anything to celebrate them again … was it? No, of course not! The whole point was to show them that they are so incredibly special to you, to win their heart over, to show them that you’d do anything and everything for them …
WHY STOP?
You don’t have to!
A lot of relationships fizzle out when couples stop doing things that they once did “just because.” They take the other for granted, and their relationship falls by the wayside. Then you look around one day and wonder what happened. Why does the person not find me attractive any more? Why don’t they want to be with me? Answer this one question for me … honestly evaluate yourself, your heart and soul, and then answer: Have you neglected them in any way, shape, or form? If so, why? Are they not as important to you now as they once were? Has your love grown stale or become non existent? No, certainly not. You have just become comfortable and have begun to take your loved one for granted. Only you can break that cycle.
If you want her to feel loved, do all of the things that you once did. We know you have it in you. We’ve seen it. We’ve been on the receiving end of it before, many times. We know you can do it. You just stopped putting forth the effort.
There’s a lot of information on the internet about how to pursue your man. From a Christian perspective, you are to submit to your mate. While I understand that whole concept, what about the woman? Doesn’t she deserve to be pursued still? I think so! While I am all for showing our man that they mean everything to us and celebrating them, even catering to them at times … women need the same thing from their husbands!
It truly takes TWO people to make a relationship work. If one stops trying, the other feels taken for granted and stops doing for the other as well. Then it isn’t long before they have BOTH lost that loving feeling.
You do not have to go down that road. You can change that right this very minute. Take back your relationships and marriages TODAY!! Begin by celebrating your mate, celebrating your relationship or marriage … just do not stop when Valentine’s Day ends at 11:59 p.m.!
Think of how it will thrill their hearts to receive words of love from you for no other reason than “just because I love you and am thinking of you …”
Write it on the bathroom mirror so that is the first thing they see in the morning.
Slip a note in their briefcase or lunch box so they see your reminder of their love while at work.
Since text messages and emails take the personal affect out of it a lot of times, try writing an actual hand written love note to your mate or even a love poem. I know you have it in you! I have faith in your abilities to be romantic! It doesn’t have to be perfect, but it does have to be from your heart to theirs. Imagine how they will feel reading your words of love!!
Couples struggle with the love language of their mate. Do they have the need for words of affirmations? “I’m so proud of you …” “You work hard for our family, and we appreciate all you do for us …” Or do they prefer acts of service to where you mow the lawn, do dishes or laundry as a token of your love for them? How about physical touch? Is that their love language? Would they prefer that you just sit with them and hold their hand, look them in the eye and really listen to them focusing on only them at that moment in time without interrupting and without waiting for your chance to just jump in and take over the conversation? What about just putting your arms around them and holding them tight with no expectations of it going any further? Just to hold them close. How about laying on the couch together and just watching a movie? Spending quality time together! Or, maybe they do prefer gifts, little tokens of your love for them throughout the year. If you’re not sure of your mate’s love language, ask them what speaks to their heart more out of the ones that I’ve listed above. And guys … it does NOT always have to lead to the “s” word. Sure, it’s nice if it does, but if you want to really increase your chances of “that” happening, you have to make sure that your woman knows without a shadow of a doubt that you love her, appreciate her and value her. Show her and tell her often. Keep the fires burning in any of the ways mentioned above, and it will increase your chances! ~wink~
In all seriousness, a lot of couples make a mistake of “just” celebrating their love one day a year, or maybe, if you’re lucky, your spouse will remember your anniversary, too. In which case, you will have TWO days that your relationship and marriage is celebrated. That is not enough!
Will you vow with me on this Valentine’s Day that this is ONLY THE BEGINNING for you? Will you strive hard each and every day to show your loved one just how much they mean to you, how much you appreciate them, and how lost you would be without them? Will you do everything within your power to make sure they know that you love them, without a shadow of a doubt, each and every day?
You have it in you, and I have faith in you! You CAN do this.
Ready? Begin today! Right this minute. Now get out there and show your special one some love!
Darcy Wiley
February 20, 2014 @ 8:47 pm
It’s amazing how the smallest gestures can communicate love and relieve tension in a relationship. Even just surprising them with a favorite treat from the grocery does it for my husband and me. 🙂 What you wrote here reminds me of Glennon’s post from a few years ago: http://momastery.com/blog/2012/01/09/766/. I know some relationships are way more complicated than others, but it doesn’t hurt to show some love in the details and see how love might flourish.
Shirley
February 20, 2014 @ 10:27 pm
We are like that, too, Darcy! Dark Chocolate Dove from my husband is a great treat that always says, “I love you and was thinking of you!” Just beautiful!
Thank you for the link also! I can’t wait to read it!