Heavy Hearts
We visited with our dear friend, Debbie, this weekend. We have returned home with heavy hearts now more than ever after seeing her in the condition that she is in. It is truly heart breaking.
Debbie was so full of life in September as she showed us around her town. And now, she lays in that hospital bed with her head drooping somewhat to her right side as the cancer has taken away her ability to walk and to control her neck now. Her right arm is paralyzed according to her husband, while she tries with all of her might to use her left arm and hand.
An adjustable hospital bed was delivered to Debbie’s home Friday, and she tried Friday night to get it into a comfortable position. There’s no such thing, according to her, now, though. Nevertheless, she would send that bed all the way up as high as the setting would allow toward the ceiling just to move it back down again. She would press those buttons with all of her might, and she would find temporary relief for her legs. She’d move it to another position within minutes. At other times, she would adjust the head of the bed to provide some support for her neck. We bought a travel pillow to place around her neck to help offer some support. She didn’t like it at first, but she accepted it back after a few minutes. Later, she had it removed again and used rolled up towels to steady her neck. Then she’d go back to adjusting the bed – the only thing she probably feels like she can control at this point.
My heart hurts for this lady. She is only 60 years old. While that may sound old to some, it is so young in my eyes. She is supposed to have so many more years here on this earth, and yet, she is slowly slipping away.
Her husband, Ray, has been caring for her, and his love and devotion shines through. They married just after Debbie turned 18, according to Ray, and they have been married now for 42 years. That is just amazing! But to see him in action, how he dotes on Debbie and would do anything in the world to take her pain away … it grabs you right there in the heart. That is love! Ray took his marriage vows very seriously as he’s doing all he can with the strength that he has to care for his wife. The roles were reversed a few short years ago as Ray was having health issues, and Debbie was right there by his side throughout the entire ordeal. She took care of her man, and now he is taking care of her. It warmed my soul to see him in action this weekend and to see the love in his eyes as he spoke of being married to her. He began to tear up as she told us that she had declined rapidly in the 12 hours before we arrived on Friday.
There truly are no words to describe what is happening to our dear friend, and yet here I sit as I want others to know about this precious lady and to uplift her in their prayers. She needs it now more than ever.
Just a few short months ago, we were laughing and having the absolute best time with our friends. Now we fight back tears as we update each other or receive updates from the family. We did get Debbie to smile this weekend, and her husband said that she hasn’t done that in a very long time. We started cracking jokes about how Debbie tried to keep us all straight, and that was a job in itself! She smiled, and it warmed our hearts. I tried harder then to find something else to crack a joke about to help lift her spirits, and there it was again. That sweet smile that formed across Debbie’s lips. Although she’s weak, she is still very “with it” and keeps up on the conversation. It may take her a bit to respond now as she forms her thoughts and concentrates to get them out, but she is still very much aware even so much as to offer a phone number when her daughter needed to contact her aunt! We were very impressed with that one!
Oh Debbie. Sweet Debbie.
I took the opportunity every chance that I could this weekend to tell her that I love her. I repeated myself, but THAT, my friends, NEEDS to be repeated! I don’t know if I’ll get the chance again to hold her hand, look into her eyes, and say, “I love you, lady!” I hope. I pray. But it is all in God’s hands.
Debbie was surrounded by her daughter and granddaughters, as well as her husband and her aunt, as we went to leave to travel back to our house. That house was packed to the rim with love, pure love!
Please, if you can right where you are, stop reading for a moment and offer up prayers for our dear friend, Debbie. Please also pray for all of the cancer patients that are struggling right now. We don’t have to call them all by name, as it would be impossible as there are people all over the world inflicted with this. God knows their names and their situations as we cover them all with prayer.
Cancer has touched my family in the last seven years – in my mom and in my dad. We pray over them all the time that they will continue to be cancer free after their surgeries. We are so thankful for the treatment that they sought and want to encourage you – all of the readers – please don’t neglect your health. IF you notice anything out of the ordinary, get in to see a doctor as soon as you can. I only wish Debbie had done so sooner.
Prayer warriors … unite!
We know that God could perform a miracle for Debbie right now if that was His will and His plan. In the event that it is not, though, we pray that Debbie will not have to struggle and be in pain. We don’t want to lose Debbie, but we know that she is suffering at this time. They were giving her morphine, and even that was not touching the nerve pain, according to her husband.
She needs us to go before the throne of Jesus offering our prayers, and I thank you from the very bottom of my heart for praying for our precious friend, Debbie.
Update: We were just advised that our dear friend, Debbie, has passed away. Please keep her family in your thoughts and prayers as this most difficult time. Debbie will forever be in our hearts, and I am thankful for 17 years of the most beautiful and precious friendship. I love you, Debbie. Always & Forever!
For previous posts regarding Debbie, please see the below:
Where Two Or Three Are Gathered In His Name
Renee
November 17, 2014 @ 10:30 am
Shirley, I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend. You’ve shared a beautiful tribute to Debbie, and I pray that her family and friends receive comfort in knowing that she is free and healed. Thank you for sharing these lovely words woven with hope.
Blessings, Renee
Shirley
November 18, 2014 @ 8:37 pm
Thank you for your kind words, Renee. Debbie truly was one-of-a-kind and will be missed far and wide by so many.
Anita Ojeda
November 17, 2014 @ 11:25 am
Oh, Shirley! I’m so sorry for your loss. Cancer is a terrible disease and I’m so sorry that it took your friend so soon. May God send his Holy Spirit to comfort you and her family during this time of grief.
Shirley
November 18, 2014 @ 8:36 pm
Thank you so much, Anita. She was a very special lady, and I will always treasure the gift of her friendship.
Angie Ryg (@angieryg)
November 23, 2014 @ 12:01 am
Shirley,
I am so sorry for your loss! What a beautiful way to honor a dear friend. Thank you for sharing your heart!
XO,
Angie
Shirley
November 23, 2014 @ 10:32 pm
Thank you so much, Angie.