Wow!  What an honor to be invited to join the Happy Wives Club Blog Tour!  Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage
Imagine my surprise when I opened the email today.

So here I am proclaiming to the world that this post is part of the Happy Wives Club Blog Tour, which I am delighted to be a part of along with hundreds of inspiring bloggers.  ~Insert excited giggle here!~

I just recently discovered Fawn and the Happy Wives Club.  In this world filled with negative conversation, I have found that, unfortunately, marriages are on the top of that list!   When so many people speak negatively about their marriage or marriages in general, Fawn has encouraged us to join together to tell the world that happy marriages DO still exist!  We are living proof!

There is so much that I would like to cover with my very first post on this subject, but I will begin by saying that your marriage is beautiful and sacred.  It is a promise that you will have a friend forever.  Your spouse is truly your biggest fan (as my husband has posted in his comment on this site just recently, which I had no influence on!  Honestly!  Those were his words, which came from his heart and are deeply appreciated.  He is a man of few words when it comes to writing, unlike his wife … hahaha … so when he does write, it has an impact on me.)

When you entered into marriage, you entered into a partnership.  Yes, you have a partner for life!

Our wedding invitations read,

Today I will marry my friend …

The one I laugh with, live for,

Dream with, love …

Because you have shared in our lives

By your friendship and love

We, Shirley and Dustin,

Invite you to join us

As we celebrate our hearts

Joining together as one

Those words still hold true to this very day!

We planned our wedding years ago, pouring ourselves over every single detail, writing the vows, incorporating the “Hands Ceremony,” as well as having a special portion of the ceremony including my first daughter (from a previous marriage).    She was my Maid of Honor.  Most would have had their daughters as their Flower Girl, but not me.  She just had to be my Maid of Honor!

During the ceremony, my husband got down on one knee and presented my daughter with a necklace symbolizing our little family unit.   This was absolutely precious, and I do not believe there was a dry eye in the place as she reached up to hug him, totally unrehearsed but completely heartfelt!   It was a very sweet moment, indeed!

The minister did not just pronounce us “Husband and Wife,” we were a family, and that is exactly how he introduced us to all of our family and friends that were present witnessing all of this taking place right before their very eyes.  It was absolutely magical as the three of us joined hands and made our way down the aisle united as a family as beautiful doves were released at the end of the ceremony.

Does the magic end once you become husband and wife, or in this case as you begin your journey as a family?  Absolutely not!    It is your job to keep the magic alive!   Just as you worked to win your spouse over when you were dating, you continue after the wedding vows have been said and the honeymoon is over!

Marriage is hard work, ladies and gentlemen!   You have to give it your all.  Don’t give 50% anticipating that your spouse will also give 50%.  No, go all out and be in this 100%.  Give it all you’ve got!   Has it always been easy?  No, but it has ALWAYS been worth it!

There are so many things that can tear a marriage apart.  There are people that would love nothing more than to get in between you and your spouse.   Life happens, you feel stressed, your attention is drawn elsewhere, and you may stop doing the things that you once did to win your spouse over.  Some times all it takes is a little reminder for you and your spouse to get back on track.   You’ve heard it said a million times, but it’s true:  Communication is the key!  If you’re not happy, tell him or her!  They are your spouse, but they are certainly not mind readers!  Some just will not “get” that you’re upset or why you’re upset if you aren’t just completely honest with them and tell them.  Some will say, “Oh they should know.”  Well, obviously they don’t and they need a little help, so tell them.  Talk with them.  Share what is on your heart, what is troubling you, and give them a chance, or two, or a hundred, to make things right again!  Work together each and every day.

Another “secret” to a happy marriage is to make sure you date each other!  This may seem silly, but it is not!  Trust me on this.  It is of the utmost importance that you and your spouse still find time to date one another.  It doesn’t have to be anything expensive.  You don’t have to carve out a huge chuck of your weekend to devote to this, unless you’d like to have a weekend getaway.  Those are always nice, too!   But, take time each week to devote to just you and your spouse.   Stress from work gets in the way, homework has to be done with the kids, housework has to be done, the cars need to be serviced, groceries need to be bought, etc.  The list goes on and on.  BUT, your marriage needs to be at the very top of that list.   Make time to celebrate your marriage. Make time to date your spouse again.   If at all possible, be intentional about date nights with your spouse!  It will pay off!  You will be closer with your spouse.  You will begin to look forward to this time together, and you will miss it greatly if you are not able to have this time.  Make it a simple dinner date, or dinner and a movie.  If you are low on funds, ask a family member or friend to trade on baby sitting services for a night and take advantage of a homemade dinner and a movie at your house.   Better yet, skip the movie and just talk … enjoy each other’s company.  Be together!   Find the time, people!

Another secret … leave little love notes for your spouse.   Oh I can hear you now if you’re thinking leaving a love note for your husband will just be foolish or overlooked.  You couldn’t be more wrong!  My husband carries these love notes in his wallet, not because he feels he “has” to … but because they mean something to him, so he wants to keep them close at hand throughout the day.  Now that is sweet!   If you don’t have time to write a long love letter, that is okay.  A simple “I love you” or “You’re special to me” or even “You look sexy in that tie” will go a long way to keeping those fires burning.   Leave little sticky notes in each other’s cars, on the bathroom mirror, etc.

There are so many things you could do.  These are just for starters!   The point is to work at your marriage.

If you are asking yourself, “Who is she to offer marriage advice being that this is her second marriage?”  Because of all I have been through, I can offer a great deal to help strengthen and build up your marriage.  To which I offer this … What is the most important thing you can do for your marriage?  What is a secret for a happy marriage?   Prayer.   Pray over your spouse.  Pray for your union.  Pray for God’s protection and for Him to shield your marriage.

I could go on and on, and I will in the coming weeks.  For now, though, I will close this post by saying that Fawn Weaver, the founder of the Happy Wives Club, wrote a book about the best marriage secrets the world has to offer. They say the book is like “Eat, Pray, Love meets The 5 Love Languages.”  I say the book is inspiring. If you are curious and would like to read more from Fawn, you can grab a copy:  Happy Wives Club: One Woman’s Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage   Otherwise, check back here for future postings!

Until then …

Blessings for and upon your marriage!

~Shirley

Light, Love, Hope