Judgments and Opinions
Another observation of late is that any time I have opened up and poured out the content of my heart and soul, it leaves me wide open for harsh judgments and opinions. There are certainly a lot of opinionated and judgmental remarks from people that claim to know how to run my life, family, etc. better than I. But, I could do without those.
For me, when someone comes to me to share what is on their hearts, I try really hard to listen with an open mind and to speak from my heart offering words of love. Generally, I am not a judgmental person and try hard to reserve my opinion and advice unless they are requested.
There are also “holier than thou” people out there that look down their noses at me. Why? I’m doing the best that I can. Life hasn’t always been easy, but I have made the best of some very bad situations that I’ve been forced to deal with and live through. I’m still here. I’m alive, although some times I feel beaten and battered. God still has a purpose for me and for my life, and that is why He woke me up this morning to a brand new day.
This is where I love to add that when I once looked for outside approval, none is needed now. NONE. You know why? Because I am already approved by God above, and that my friends is worth more to me than all the gold and silver in the world.
I don’t need to compete with anyone. I hope we all win and succeed in life!
Instead of bragging about what all you have and your accomplishments as if you think you’re better than others, why not try to be a better person with more compassion in your heart? It isn’t about how many degrees you have or how many initials you have behind your name. It isn’t how far you’ve climbed up the corporate ladder (or who you stepped on along the way to get there), and it certainly isn’t about the square footage of your house or the material possessions you own. Does any of this make you a better person? Do you go above and beyond to help your fellow man? And what if you lost your job, your house, and all of your worldly possessions? What then? Your wealth comes from the love you have in your heart, which you freely give away to those in need. That is the true measure of a man or woman. Just how much do you reach out to others to help? Do you ever reach out your hand to pick someone up that has fallen down on their road in life?
I don’t need to be torn apart by people’s judgmental remarks or cutting comments. Yet, people love to launch hurtful words at you.
People with failing marriages or divorced people will be the first to pick your marriage apart. They wait until you say one thing to indicate that there might be a problem, and they jump all over your spouse, beating them to death over one little mistake as if THEY never made any in their lifetime. For me, though, I try to be encouraging. If there is a small glimmer of hope in the words that they speak, I will, instead, focus on that and draw more attention to the good in the situation no matter how bad they may be feeling at that point in time. Yes, everyone has their moments when things get to them, and they have every right to speak their mind to get it off of their chests. Just be there to listen. Do NOT add fuel to their already blazing inferno. It only makes them feel worse. Why do that to people?
Ask yourself if people are better after they leave you than before they came to you. Honestly, search yourself and be truthful when you answer. If someone comes to you heavy burdened and suffering tremendously, just feeling so beat up by things that have happened in their lives, do you offer any words of encouragement, or do you jump on the bandwagon beating them over the head with past mistakes? If they confide in you something that happened with their spouse that may be troubling you, do you try to console them or just listen and offer a hug? Or do you rip that spouse to shreds with your words, tossing daggers into this person’s already beat up, bruised, and bleeding heart?
Your words are very powerful. They can lift someone out of the pits of despair, or they can be the last heaping of dirt that is shoveled onto their grave.
Choose wisely the words that come out of your mouth in all situations. Once spoken, they cannot be taken back. Those words that you speak will linger and will haunt for days, weeks, even years after they’ve long been forgotten by you. The person on the receiving end will not be so quick to dismiss what happened as you’ve been.
Guard your tongue and speak life into people. Be the light in the darkness that they are feeling. Lift them up by your words of encouragement instead of tearing at them when they already feel battered.
Crush the judgmental remarks and snide comments. Keep your harsh opinions to yourself.
Be a light in this dark world.
Dawn
December 15, 2014 @ 7:20 am
I think when people brag about all they have in life it’s because they are trying to convince themselves that everything is great. With age I’ve learned that everyone has something to be thankful and grateful for in their life and also have things that they regret or are working hard to hide their imperfections from others.
Shirley
December 15, 2014 @ 8:46 am
There is a lot of truth in what you wrote, Dawn. Thank you for adding your comment and insight. It is greatly appreciated!
LifeAsAConvert
December 21, 2014 @ 10:28 pm
It took me a while to realize that I was always so open with people in my relationships and I went away feeling like they offered nothing in return. It has made me much more conservative with what I share. I think that coupled with my general caring nature has left me hurting by trying to be a friend or help others.
Shirley
December 22, 2014 @ 12:06 pm
I can completely identify with all that you said! Thank you for sharing your thoughts today. I, too, have learned to be a bit more conservative. It is so hard to have a one sided conversation. I have one friend that I really have tried with because we’ve been friends for so long. But, I feel emotionally drained when trying to think of some way to converse with them when they just will not share anything yet get upset when I don’t “talk” to them on a regular basis. I feel as if I cannot win because if I talk, it’s me talking about my “stuff.” If I don’t, they feel neglected.