Light, Love, Hope

The holiday season is upon us.  For many, this is not a happy time for them.  Their hearts are hurting from losing loved ones dear to them.  We are no different, as we have loved ones in Heaven we miss daily.

Our city just held their annual Angel of Hope event this past Saturday.  A monument was erected 12 years ago of an angel with wings outstretched as if to welcome and embrace children taken too soon from this world.  My sister’s name is among the names called and pictures displayed during the annual memorial service.  It never gets easy as you hold flowers and take the slow, lonely stroll down the brick walkway where the angel sits at the end.  Right behind the angel to the left is a plaque we donated to the city for my sister.  Every year my parents and I take this heartbreaking walk.  As we are standing at my sister’s plaque, my dad will kiss his hand and place it on my sister’s name.  After every name has been called, candles are lit for our loved ones.  As a song plays, memories flood in right along with the tears.

Be kinder than you usually are, especially during the holiday season.  You never know what a person is going through.  The person standing right next to you in line at the grocery store might just be fighting back tears as they try to hold it together.

Choose kindness … every time.

And

Pray for all those hurting during the holiday season.

“You need to wash your hair.”

I did this morning!

“Yeah well, it always looks greasy.”

***

“You’re wearing WAY too much blush.”

I’m not even wearing blush.

“Yes, you are!  And it looks awful!  Your makeup is always extreme anyway.”

****

“Hey, we’re going to get smoothies … don’t you want a smoothie today?  Ah, what a nice treat … or I know … what about those big giant cookies from the specialty shop down the road.”

Then they proceed to ask everyone in the office except for one young lady.

****

~rolling eyes~

“I don’t know why you think you can dress like that.  You need to be fired.  You suck at your job, then you come in here dressed inappropriately,” said after permission was given by a supervisor to wear said clothing and after getting promoted to a new position at work!

***

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sick of you.  I wish you would just shut up.  No one wants to hear about your life anyway!”

***

~throwing documents across the desk~

“You need to do this NOW!”

I am working on an important task.

“NO, I SAID you need to do this NOW.  So, DO IT!”

***

“We are taking up money for the birthday club.  Everyone contributes, and then we make sure that everyone’s birthday gets celebrated.”

~giving money, watching everyone else in the office being celebrated with cakes, balloons, streamers, and gifts lavished on every other co-worker, then NOTHING being doing for your birthday~

***

“Hey Sharon … Hey Mandy, Hey Lori … oh my gosh, Sue, you look SO good today!  Let’s plan a co-worker dinner on Friday!” said in front of the girl that got left out again.

***

All of the above are prime examples of dealing with mean girls.  I could go on and on, but you get the idea.

I am not quite sure what enjoyment they get out of behaving this way toward others.  However, it seems that these mean girls target a person in the office that does not follow the crowd.  If there is a “clique” and she (nor I) followed what they were doing, then we are deemed the outcasts.  I will just never understand the mentality of mean girls and what joy they could possibly get out of mistreating others.

Also, if one girl doesn’t like another girl in the office, then they ALL are expected not to like that person.  This could go on for a day, or it could go on for a week or even months.  You never know where you stand with people like this.  Literally one day they are nice and friendly, and the very next day they are hateful and making snide remarks.

You would think that by withdrawing from the mean girls after taking their abuse repeatedly that things would get better.  You stop caring that you’re excluded and just stay to yourself.  Surely there will be some relief by just withdrawing, right?  Instead, that seems to further fuel the fire with them.   They almost make it their goal in life to see how hateful they can be and are even more “in your face” with comments attacking you, your character, and your family even.

This does not even have to be confined to mean girls in the work place, although that is where I have encountered more than my share of mean girls!

I have tried to tell my daughters that it is an extremely miserable person that gets joy out of hurting others.  This person isn’t happy with themselves if they seek to destroy someone with their comments or behavior day in and day out.  Yet, if it was their daughter being treated as an outcast at school, they would be the first in line knocking on the principal’s door demanding that something be done about the daily harassment and bullying.

Children can be cruel, and I have dealt with it in school.  You expect it out of children somewhat that haven’t been taught any better.  Yet, I worked in an office such as this in my early 20s.  Sadly, I worked in an office such as this in my late 40s as well.  It’s truly unfortunate that there are women in the world who seek to destroy another or who takes great pleasure in attempting to chip away at another’s self esteem and self confidence. At times, supervisors sit by and don’t do anything about their employees, even when they witness it happening right in front of their faces.  Even if you report it, they still do very little.  I have left jobs in the past because of how I was mistreated by coworkers and upper management with their unwillingness to help with the hostile work environment.

The older a person gets does not ensure they will grow and mature.  Sadly, this behavior continues in some women in their 60s and beyond, believe it or not!

I learned to stand up for myself, and thankfully, my daughters are learning to take up for themselves as well when faced with mean girls such as the ones I’ve described.  It’s more than just “growing a thicker skin.”  And they aren’t “too sensitive” as some have even tried to say.  There needs to be more awareness, and we need to make it a priority to teach OUR children not to behave in this fashion.  These mean girls – regardless of their ages — learned it from some where, which is extremely sad, and the cycle continued.

There are mean, cruel, and hateful people in the world.  You don’t have to be one of them!

This is why I purposely give compliments to strangers!  I know what it is like to be on the receiving end of hateful and hurtful comments.  This is also why I try to include people as much as possible.  I know what it is like to be excluded, left out, and ignored.

When you can make someone’s day better, why not do so by smiling in their direction or giving a sincere compliment to them?  Why can’t women build each other up, instead of always trying to tear another woman down?   For the life of me, I will never understand any of this.

I go out of my way to be a light in another’s life.  I compliment, I praise, I sincerely include and invite.  I am not perfect by any means.  Because I’ve been hurt by others and experienced cruelty at another’s hand, I try to be different and strive NOT to be a mean girl.  I go against the grain and don’t join in when others are being hateful to another.

We have no way of knowing what a person may be struggling with.  Always be kind!  The person on the receiving end of this bullying and harassment by the mean girls could be really depressed and down on themselves.  They don’t need one more person to push them over the edge or have them contemplating suicide.

In a world where you can be anything … BE KIND!

We’ve heard it said before that the greatest friend you can have is a praying friend.  Friends are so very important, and they are an extension of our families.  Some times, friends are more like family than our very own family members.

Just this morning, I had a friend reach out with a medical concern advising what was happening with them.  Immediately, I notified my family members so we could all rally around our friend and pray.

Prayer is powerful!  When we gather with fellow believers and pray to God, we know He hears us and is with us at that very moment as we lift our heartfelt prayers to Him.  We have reassurance of this in His word!

Be that light in the community, the one people know they can come to for prayer at any time.  The greatest compliment has been when others come to me asking me to pray for them.  What could be greater than that, knowing you will stop what you’re doing and pray with them.  Even if you don’t pray openly out loud, even if the prayers you offer up are silent prayers from your heart to God’s ears … just pray!

In our office, we begin each day with prayer.  Our clients know this and have called to request prayer.  This happened a few weeks ago, and I sought the assistance of my co-worker who speaks so eloquently and offers up the best prayers to God.  I feel at times that my prayers are inadequate because I don’t pray like that.  I offer up a humble, simple prayer, but know that God still appreciates my prayer.  He doesn’t care how we come to Him, just that we come.  Before I started working here, I was never one to pray openly in front of others.  It was not something I was comfortable with, and I admit feeling anxious when it was “my turn” to pray in the morning meetings.  Now, I still don’t have fancy words I use when I pray, but I still pray.  Some times I even have to write notes on what I’d like to pray about before it’s “my turn” so I don’t stumble.  But even that is okay, because God knows my heart!

Be a praying friend.  Someone out there needs you and your prayers.  They need to know that you WILL pray for and with them, that you won’t just “say” you will and then don’t.  A lot of times on Facebook I see people saying “prayers” or “sending prayers” or “praying for you.”  And you wonder, do they really stop what they are doing and pray for these people, or are these empty words that they write in an attempt to offer comfort?

PRAY!

Just knowing this person specifically chose YOU to pray for them and their situation … that speaks volumes!  Don’t let them down.

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who dreamed of seeing everything under the sea.  Flipping through magazines, eyes wide with excitement, she vowed “one day” she would!  The only thing was that it required you to be able to swim.  At her young age, she had little opportunity for attempting to learn how to swim as her parents never took her to the beach or even a friend’s house that had a pool or pond in their backyard.  Lessons were out of the question as her parents simply could not afford it.  So, she sighed, looked longingly at the pages one last time, and tucked the magazine away.

Fast forward about 20 years, and this little girl, now wearing the face of an adult, sought to make her dreams a reality.  Having just lost her sister in the most tragic way possible (suicide), she vowed to fully live her life, not just for herself, but for her sister.  She longed to see and experience things her sister never had the opportunity to, and swimming lessons were where she began.

When she felt ready, she embarked on the most rewarding, yet frightening, adventure of her life.   While honeymooning on the Grand Cayman Islands, she enrolled in a resort course to learn how to scuba dive!  Filled with excitement, her big adventures began!  Once she mastered the skills required while being observed by the instructor in the hotel’s pool, they went out on a boat into the “big water.”   Much to her surprise, she did not get seasick on the ride out there.

Once they found the best spot to view the coral reef, everyone on board suited up.  They strapped the tanks on their backs and walked like penguins on the boat due to their fins to get to the side of the boat.  Once there, they had to choose whether to back down the steps into the water OR jump in holding their masks in place with their fingers so the force of the water hitting their faces wouldn’t rip the mask off.  Feeling full of thrill and wonder, she jumped into the water

~SPLASH~

In they all went, one by one, until they were all floating in the ocean.  The instructor guided them all toward a chained anchor and told them to hold on to it as they made their descent approximately 40 feet below the boat.  They paused briefly to give their ears a chance to adjust.  If anyone had trouble getting their ears to “clear,” they were instructed to return to the boat.  Sadly, one participant had to do so, and this participant was extremely disappointed, as you can imagine.  However, to have continued down with the participant’s ears not adjusting could have caused damage to the ear drums.  The wisest thing to do was return to the boat and wait for the others.  Our lady in this story, however, was one of the lucky ones that didn’t have any problems getting her ears to adjust, thankfully.

Once down, she and the fellow adventurers marveled at the beauty that surrounded them.  While the reef was not as colorful as she once envisioned, there was a whole new world with different varieties of plant life, fish, and sea turtles.  Watching the sea turtle come toward her felt as if it was a dream, yet there she was in the middle of the ocean able to swim right along with it.  And so she did!!   The turtle was gracefully gliding through the water, and she got lost in the moment.  Suddenly, she became aware of how far she had swam away from the others, and trying not to panic, she swam back to them as quickly as possible.

The thrill of this underwater adventure came to a close when a barracuda appeared.  Having learned the signal for “trouble” previously, fear reflected in her eyes when the instructor gave the signal to her and another participant.  Frozen in the moment, their eyes filled their masks as they waited for the curious barracuda to go on.  When it didn’t, they inflated their floatation devices so they would go closer to the surface to get away.  Once securely inside the vessel once more, everyone talked about their adventure under the sea and how fulfilling it was for them.

This once little girl with a big dream became an adult that made her dream a reality.

This little girl … was me.

I shared a post last week regarding humans being strange creatures.  Apparently, a former friend thought that post was about them, when it was not.  My post was regarding my son-in-law’s friend of 20 years and what transpired between them shortly after their wedding.  Regardless, this just confirms what I said about humans being strange creatures.

This former friend was going through a health crisis, and I came along side to encourage her.  Later, I met her in person and made some of her wishes come true in some activities we went on which she never had an opportunity to explore before previously in life.  I do not regret this visit nor the money invested at all, as wonderful memories were made when we were having a good time.  There were things on that trip which left us both feeling as if improvements could have been made on both ends.  Nevertheless, we exchanged comments about that visit, which I thought was in an effort to clear the air and let bygones be bygones.  However, that was not the case with her.  It’s sad when people have the wrong idea about you and decide in their mind something that isn’t true.  I tried to fulfill some of her wishes.  What I would not do is create a Go Fund Me Page for her.  Maybe that offended her, too, but I have a hard time asking people to donate to a cause, especially when so many far and wide are in need.  Sadly, there are a lot of people struggling with health issues.  Greg’s aunt is one having an extremely hard time and may not make it to see the holidays.  There is someone so very near and dear to my heart in my own family who will see the doctor in November to discuss surgery options for their health concern as well.  I never told her this with what she was going through.  She focused on herself, so I let her.   The truth is that people every where are hurting, and we are all going through one thing or another.  While I wouldn’t create a Go Fund Me Page for her, what I did do was pray for her, for her health, and for her family.  I know God can help.  He is the Great Physician.  He can do ALL things.

What I can do also at this point in time is offer forgiveness , and I do.  My heart holds no grudges and only wishes them well … today, tomorrow, and always.

You will know that forgiveness has begun

when you recall those who hurt you

and feel the power

to wish them well.   ~Lewis B. Smedes

We always talk about UFOs and aliens, but entertain this thought for just a minute.  What if the aliens are looking down at Earth shaking their head saying, “Humans are strange creatures!”  Because, the truth of the matter is that we ARE!!

This thought popped into my head as I also thought of how strange we are when we have any adversity that comes our way.  Friends and family will just stop speaking to each other over a disagreement.  They will avoid the person that has offended them at all cost.  At times, I have been guilty of this as well if the person’s offense was extreme and toxic.  However, if you’ve been friends with someone for 20 years or longer, why cut ties completely over a difference of opinion or a disagreement?  Isn’t the friendship worth salvaging?  If it meant something for you guys to hang on to each other for 20 years – what in the world could ever come between you all that much to cause you to just flat ignore and act like the person and friendship never existed?!  Or, did you hold on to the friendship out of convenience when you didn’t have anything better to do?  Did your parents tell you to remain friends all that length of time?  Surely that wouldn’t have influenced the friendship to that extreme.  It just puzzles me why humans do this to each other.  When you once cared so much about the other, and now you act like they are not even on Earth?

Why do we do this to each other?

I can understand if someone was abusive toward you physically and you needed to put distance.  Run far, far away from the abuser and never look back!!  But why do this to a friend that has shared so much with you through the years?

We have all heard it said many times, and we have often said it ourselves:  “Life is too short!”  The truth is that life IS short, so why waste a minute of pettiness like this?  Why stop talking to someone you love due to a misunderstanding or a difference of opinion?  Why haven’t we grown as a society to where we can be adults and talk about how we feel, get it out, and still remain friends at the end?  Now, the norm is that we express ourselves and then turn on “ignore mode.”

That is just wrong on SO many levels!!

Have I been hurt by people?  Yes.

Have I been offended by people?  Yes.

Has there been misunderstandings with others through the years?  You bet!

Have I even been the one to hurt, offend, and misunderstand others?  Yep, I sure have.  That isn’t something I am proud of, but because I am human, it has happened in my life.  If I’m honest, it will probably happen again through the years, even when that is never my intention.

As humans, we have feelings, and it is hard not to allow those feelings to get in the way.  We can say that we’re as strong as an Oak tree, and yet something can bring us to our knees.  It’s because we do feel so deeply, and that is a blessing and a curse in itself.  It’s a blessing because you get to share the wonderful parts of life with others and FEEL love!  At the same time, because we have loved, we made ourselves vulnerable to where we can be hurt by the very ones that love us and whom we love.

Maybe what that person said or did wouldn’t hurt so much if we didn’t care that deeply for them.

Or

Maybe if we thought they should have said or did something contrary to what they actually did, it still would not hurt as much if we didn’t care as deeply as we do.

I just believe in reaching out and extending the olive branch.  Bring the confrontation, disagreement, or misunderstanding to a close by reconnecting.  Agree to disagree, if you must, because we won’t always see eye to eye.  That is just another human trait we possess in having our unique personalities and ways about ourselves that are different from others.

The point I’m trying to make is that life IS short.  None of us know what tomorrow may bring or if there will even be a tomorrow.  Why let thing continue as they are in “ignore mode.”  Why not reach out and make amends?

Don’t misunderstand me here.  If someone is clearly toxic, abusive, or manipulative “gaslighting” you and things of that nature, I am NOT encouraging you to reconnect with someone that seeks to harm you.  I am, however, encouraging you to search your heart.  If this individual means anything at all to you or has in the past, reconsider the silent treatment you’ve been giving them.

Forgiveness is also a beautiful thing.

What if the person did something you felt was just horrible for speaking up when you acted foolish or called you out on your nasty behavior?  If they did it with the best of intentions and with a heart of love for you, consider that in all of this and forgive … as you would want to be forgiven.

None of us are perfect.  We fail miserably at times, and you know what?  At other times, we may behave the way we do because we have gotten so comfortable with the other that we think no matter what, all will be forgiven.  Maybe you feel you have opened up so much to the other party that you share such a bond that nothing could ever come between you, so you speak out.   You speak up.  You share your heart and you give them a little piece of your mind while you’re at it.  Because … you trust that your friendship, your bond, your connection is just that strong to withstand and persevere.

Then one day, it doesn’t, and you’re left wondering if you ever really meant anything to this person that now has you on “ignore mode.”

It does not take a mature person to ignore.

It takes an absolute adult with a heart of gold, though, to reach back out, let bygones be bygones, and pick that friendship back up and go on loving each other … as Christ first loved us!

Our daughter got married this weekend!  In the happiness of the event, we were also saddened as several of our loved ones have passed on. We so wished they were here to witness the union of our beautiful daughter and her handsome husband, and in our own unique way, we made it so.  Allow me to tell you about the red roses and our loved ones …

A red rose is the universal symbol meaning “I Love You.”  It proclaims beauty and also symbolizes a strong family bond, unity, harmony, faith, and hope for a wonderful future.  This is the reason why we chose red roses to be placed in honor and memory of our loved ones at the wedding.  It is also the reason why red roses were intertwined with the white roses on the wooden arch that the couple stood in front of to exchange vows.

The white chiffon was placed on the arch to appear like angel wings in the background, as we like to think of our loved ones who have gone on before us as angels who are watching over us now.  We placed a candelabra and a sign at the wedding ceremony that said, “We know you’d be here today if Heaven weren’t so far away.”  We also had a ladder style shelf with the bouquet my sister gave me when I was her Matron of Honor in her wedding years ago.  We displayed some pictures below the bouquet in honor and memory of our loved ones.  Pictured were:  Pamela Huffman Smoak, Bradley Brunson, WadeDelle Moody, Elise R. Huffman, and Clinton Huffman, Sr.  Sadly, pictures of FM Brunson and Emily Guest were not on display that day, but they will remain in our hearts forever.

Now I will share a little bit about these precious people:

Pamela is my sister & Brittney’s Aunt.  Oh, Pam absolutely fell in love with Brittney before she was born and came to our house with a car full of gifts.  I enjoyed seeing Pam doting over Brittney and enjoying all of her firsts with us.  Brittney would laugh so hard, and Pam would smile so wide as they played together.   One of my favorite memories of them together was when Pam brought over an Easter basket with colorful eggs to hide for an Easter egg hunt just for little Brittney.  Pam hid all of the eggs and watched with joy as Brittney scurried around the yard looking for them.  Brittney’s face would light up each time she would find one of those pastel- colored eggs.  They were so full of joy and love for each other.  The love between an aunt and a niece is so strong and powerful!

Bradley is Brittney’s Brother.  They were fairly close in age, and they shared the same beautiful blue eyes and adorably contagious smiles!  I remember Brittney crawling into the truck to help Bradley hold the gifts we gave him when we would see him.  He would smile shyly back at us as he opened them.  Through the years this little boy turned into a giant standing beside his sister at her high school graduation.  I’ll forever remember his smile standing next to Brittney at her high school graduation!  Although they would bicker like all siblings do, the love was there without a doubt even if the words were rarely spoken between them.  The heart knows!

FM is Brittney’s Grandfather.  FM is short for Francis Marion.  “FM,” “Rufus” or “Papa” were also some of his nicknames.  Although Brittney never got to meet him, Papa was there when we learned I was pregnant with her.  He was so happy to hear the news!  We looked forward to witnessing this gentle giant holding this little tiny baby.  Sadly, he was taken from before she was born.  I remember him fondly, as I loved playing in his hair.  It was so fluffy and white as cotton.  He was truly a kind, gentle soul, and I’ll never forget how he would tease us by making puppy dog eyes while asking, “Will you be my friend?” or how he would say “I love you.”  I made sure Brittney knew him and shared some of my most favorite things about him to her while pointing him out in pictures to her through the years.

WadeDelle is Brittney’s Grandmother.  WadeDelle attended field trips with Brittney in elementary and middle school, and she was one of her biggest fans when performing with God’s Copy Cats of St. George Baptist Church and also at ballet and clogging recitals.  Sadly, she fell ill shortly after Dakota and Brittney started dating.  He went with us to visit her while she was in the hospital, and she made a point to tell Dakota that she heard a lot of good things about him.  I asked Dakota to pray right there in the hospital room.  Even though I put him on the spot, he did not hesitate and went right into the perfect prayer for her.  One of her signature phrases was “Oh my land!”  We still use that phrase around our house today, as she is a part of our lives even still.

Elise is Brittney’s Great-Grandmother.  Brittney would crawl into her lap, and together they would have the best time laughing together.  She would light up when she would see Brittney, and thankfully, I have pictures of the two of them bonding and sharing memories together.  Brittney was a teenager when her great-grandmother passed.  We are all so thankful Brittney was not only able to meet her but truly know who she was and have memories with her through the years.

Clinton Sr. Brittney’s Great-Grandfather.  Sadly, Brittney was only four years old when he passed away.  Although she knows of him, she was too little to remember too much of the interactions with him.   We have pictures of him at her birthday parties through those early years, though, and we treasure them!  He was usually a soft-spoken man of few words that would soak in the conversations when family would visit.  I will always remember the plaid shirts and Texaco hats he would wear.

Emily is Brittney’s dear friend.  They “met” online and became close friends.  They helped each other through some really tough times.  That’s my girl, always reaching out to help others in need.

I just wanted to share little snippets of the people we honored that day.  We did ask Dakota’s family for any loved ones they would like mentioned or honored during the wedding also, but his family did not wish to have anyone listed although the offer was extended several times.  I realize often times bad memories may return at the mention of a loved one’s name, so we understand.

I am sure you noticed while reading this that I have purposely chose “is” instead of “was” when I referenced these precious people.  The reason for this is because death cannot change who they are to us nor what they mean to us.  I also choose not to say “loved” when speaking or writing about them, as in “I loved him or her” because love is eternal.  Our love did not die the day they passed away.  Love remains to this very day and always will.  Love binds our hearts and lives together through the years and through eternity.

As Paul Harvey used to say, “And now you know … the rest of the story.”

One of my most favorite things to do is explore!  I love and adore a good adventure!

Whether it’s waterfall chasing … where you can get right up next to it and feel the cool mist falling from the very top of the mountain, cascading down …

Putting around in our boat feeling the rock of the waves and having “sea legs” after you dock the boat …

Imagining what it would have been like back in the olden days at the Chapel of Ease and what this beauty must have looked like in it’s prime …

Playing in the turquoise waters and white sandy beaches 70 miles off the coast of the Gulf of Mexico …

Or walking through a place of great history where you can almost smell the gunpowder and hear the boom of the cannons…

Life is all about exploring!

It’s fun, exciting, exhilarating, and it gives you something to look forward to!  When you come back from one adventure, the planning should begin for yet another.  Life is boring without taking time to see what this great big world has to offer, and rest assured, there is something for everyone!  Even if none of the above pictured adventures would be one you would seek out, find something that will thrill your heart and tickle you to the very core of your being … then do THAT!!

Life is too short not to get out there and take advantage of every opportunity to explore, be one with nature (or whatever your adventure might be).  Just DO it … and take pictures along the way!  Share your adventure and the thrill with your family and friends, take THEM with you!!  The more the merrier!

Just have FUN in life … make memories … because when you’re old and gray, you will have wonderful stories to share with the grands and great grands!!

Here’s to celebrating life, love, and to all of the memories yet to be made!

Sometimes we can have the best of intentions, and yet we still fail miserably.  We don’t set out to hurt anyone’s feelings or make anyone angry, but that is the end result, unfortunately.  Today that happened, and it left me feeling horrible.  My daughter’s wedding is in just a few days, and we want everything to be absolutely perfect for her special day.  It’s a day little girls dream of their entire life.  Twirling around in princess dresses, wearing plastic tiaras and fake glass slippers, one can only imagine Prince Charming coming to sweep you off your feet just like in the movies.

And they lived happily ever after …

At some point after the honeymoon phase has ended, you will want to look back on your wedding day to re-live each moment! That is when good quality pictures are going to be so appreciated.  Your wedding should not be left in the hands of an amateur, but instead, a seasoned professional would be better suited for such an occasion.  They will know the perfect angle and snap amazing shots of the bride and groom smiling and having the time of their lives together.

This was the basis behind my intention today when I commented about a photographer my daughter trusted for her bridal portraits.  Here we are two and a half weeks AFTER her bridal portrait session without a professional picture to have enlarged to display at her reception.  One picture was sent, heavily filtered and edited to the point that the green grass appeared … dead and lifeless in the pictures!!  Much to my horror, too, because I worked tirelessly for months upon months getting my yard to look amazing with plush green grass and flowers popping everywhere.  Imagine my shock when the edits took away from the beautiful surroundings!  I commented, not realizing I was hurting my daughter’s feelings in the process.  It was no reflection of her at all, but the editing style of this photographer.  Honestly, when I saw the engagement shots, I had no idea of what the surroundings looked like at the location they chose at that point so it really didn’t occur to me to notice the faded, washed out look that I later learned is this photographer’s “style.”  My daughter and her fiancé got engaged in November of last year, and I just assumed the surroundings in those pictures were due to the change of the seasons.  Going from Fall into Winter, one would not expect to see vibrant green, so I didn’t think anything of it.

Until now.

I’m sure there are a ton of people that love the editing style this photographer chose, but I am a fan of more traditional pictures without all the heavy editing.  People can take it to the extreme, and I’m sure their intentions are pure as well.  The pictures can either turn out faded, as these have, or they can appear overly edited to the point that they take a muddy brown looking lake and turn it into a beach paradise as if you have been swept away to a tropical island somewhere with blue water.  I honestly detest the heavy editing because it gives unrealistic expectations.  I have actually been to a few of the places pictured and edited to this extreme only to be devastated and disappointed in the surroundings not looking anything like the pictures I had seen previously!  A more nature look in pictures is needed and desired, so you see the true beauty of your subject, not some heavy editing or filters used to turn something into what it truly is not.  In this case, it was the appearance of dead grass that turned me off immediately.  You see, I had taken pictures myself that very day, and I had a “real” picture to compare the heavily edited picture to, so it really screamed at me when I saw it.  Again, it’s no reflection on my daughter at all.  But she took it personally, even though my intention was not to make her feel bad about her choice of photographer.

Oh boy, Mom!  Now what?

Days before the wedding, and you’re insulting the photographer’s editing style!  Yep!

ONLY because I want my daughter to have excellent QUALITY pictures to reflect back on in years from now.  The editing style might be “in” right now and “trending,” but in years from now when the pictures typically DO fade from age … what will they be left with?  That is all I kept thinking.  If the images and backgrounds, their surroundings and objects in the pictures already look faded and washed out, it only gets worse as time goes on!

Ah … but there is a backup plan brewing!  Mom always has a Plan B!

While we won’t have another “professional” photographer present at the wedding, there will be a lot of pictures being taken by others.  We have a dear family friend on “video” duty that day, and he will also be snapping some quality pictures of his own throughout the ceremony and reception.  Thank GOD for good friends with lots of TALENT, too!!

Now it’s the best of both worlds.  My daughter has her photographer, and I have mine!  ~grin~

Oh I’ve seen the work of this gentleman through the years, and he most definitely has an eye for photography.  I am trusting him to capture the moments of the happy couple with a twinkle in their eyes and beaming smiles on their lips.  THAT is what I look forward to seeing – in living, vibrant color!!

What about the missing professional bridal portraits?  Again … Mom always has a Plan B in that regard as well!  Those pictures I snapped the day of the bridal portrait session ended up saving the day!  Literally.  I took my pictures and had a 16×20 collage made for her special day, and I have a 8×10 for her bridal portrait to display at the reception!  I was very pleased with the way they turned out, too, on the canvas and am excited to have them on display for all to see.  Oh my “little girl” makes a beautiful bride, for sure!!  So all was not lost, after all.  My daughter WILL have her bridal portrait after all!

Nice “save,” Mom!!

At the end of the day, my intention is to have amazing wedding pictures for my daughter to one day show her very own children.  I imagine she will want to reminisce with them, just as I have with my own two daughters about my wedding day.  Long after the day is over, I want those memories sealed forever in good quality photography to be shared for generations to come!

My intentions are true, honest, and pure.  I only want the best for my daughter – on her wedding day – and throughout life!