Light, Love, Hope

New Year New You – How’s That Going?

We are 13 days in to the new year. Did you make some New Year’s Resolutions? For example, the whole New Year New You – how’s that going? For a lot of people, they are all gung-ho initially but begin to fizzle out right about now. Don’t let that be you!

I will be honest and say that I ate too much around the holidays. I tried to “be good” but the macaroni and cheese was calling my name, right along with the brownies and cheesecake. Oh My!! Wanting to get back on track, I seriously considered Weight Watchers. Then I looked at all the fitness gurus talking about how they pumped iron, lost weight, and feel GRRRR-EAT! I enjoy my free weights, but I hadn’t really found something that I was passionate about doing every … single … day.

I watched so many “info-mercials” that were really geared at selling their weight loss products or services. Some believed in using “shakes” to lose weight, and while that has helped a lot of people, it isn’t something you can keep up long term. When you start eating real food again, the weight will creep back on. This one lady spent $300 to $400 a month to kickstart her weight loss. Two shakes a day, a few snacks, and then a healthy dinner was part of her program. But what’s in those “shakes” and “snacks” anyway? A lot of processed things that you cannot pronounce, that’s what! And it’s EXPENSIVE!!! No thanks!

I turned to the “experts.” I watched snippets of videos that started off with, “Let me tell you my secret to weight loss …” I can’t tell you how many videos I watched with people “baiting” you but not really providing you with information to HELP! They just wanted you to join their team, spend that money … no thanks!

I’ve even had the random messages in my Instagram or Facebook trying to get me to purchase their products. “You look like someone that enjoys health and fitness, why don’t you try my X, Y, Z?”

Success stories? I heard plenty. I’m genuinely happy for them, but I’m not interested in a pill, shake, or expensive membership to learn how to take care of my body.

Gym memberships? I used to have one, actually. I went to the local YMCA almost daily in 2018 from April until August. Personal issues crept up, and I stopped going to the YMCA. Then, Planet Fitness came to our small town, and it was “all the rage.” Everyone wanted in! Honestly, I went to check it out while it was still in the construction phase and they had information available to sign up in advance. The only thing that got me was that it required direct access to my checking account, something I do NOT give anyone! So there goes that idea.

What to do? What to DO? That was the question.

I wasn’t like a lot of people I’ve seen or read about that needed to lose 50, 75, 100 pounds or more. I just wanted to tone up and look fit again. I nailed it in 2018 and was proudly wearing my two piece bikini at the beach with my daughters that summer. I even wore my two piece to the beach and on the boat in 2019 as well, although I needed to get back on track with working out. I had about ten to fifteen pounds to “tweek” in order for me to be where I needed to be according to my height. (PS I am considered short at 5′ 0″ … or as some argue 4′ 11″ … those few inches are important to me, okay?!)

I stumbled upon a post with a lady talking about what helped her. I thought surely if I clicked on the link she provided that it would be another gimmick, but surprisingly, it was not! She and another lady created this group to help others lose weight. So, I clicked on the link, answered the questions, and asked to join her group. After I was approved, I saw that they weren’t selling a single thing. FINALLY! I reached people that honestly wanted to help you in your journey. Not only that, but they talked about an app that helped them. This one lady that helped form the group has lost 100 pounds! Seriously! While the Weight Watchers app is $20.00 per month, the app they were all using was FREE! So, I signed up for the app, too! While you can upgrade to the “pro” version and pay a fee, that truly is not necessary. I’ve been using the free version of this app and have had success! I’ve only been on this program for two weeks … but I have lost six pounds. Not too earth shattering right now, but if you think about it, slow and steady wins the race! You didn’t gain this weight all at once, so don’t expect to lose it all at once either. It takes time, and losing 1-2 pounds a week is healthy and to be expected if you are going to keep it off. As I’ve heard mentioned, if you work the program, the program will work for you! It is the truth. I’ve also heard that abs are made in the kitchen, and this is also true! You don’t need to spend hours in the gym to lose weight. If you just start making healthier food choices, you will see a difference in how you look and feel. Why not trade fast food for healthier choices, and while you’re at it, add in some fruit and vegetables? I promise, you will start seeing results!

What is the app? iTrackBites

You sign up, put in your weight and height, as well as your goal weight. You answer a few questions, and bam, they choose a plan for you which is similar to Weight Watchers with “points” you are allowed per day. Every food has a points value, and there are even zero point foods that you’re encouraged to eat!

Water is necessary no matter what – and it is encouraged on this plan as well. You should drink half your body weight in ounces each day. It seems like a lot, but it is totally do-able! You may feel like you live in the bathroom when you’re first getting started, but you need to stay hydrated. It will help how you look and feel, too! Some lose what they call “water weight” at first, but if you continue with good choices, the weight will come off.

Something that a lot of people are talking about now is intermittent fasting. The idea is to go 16 hours without food, then have an eight hour window where you eat healthy food choices. I started to think about when I was in school. I did not eat breakfast because it was too early in the morning, and I did not want to force anything at that point. I would eat the night before at supper with my family and not have anything else to eat until lunch time at school. I was younger, yes, but I actually was doing intermittent fasting at that point without even thinking about it. Now I’ve started back, and I don’t miss trying to make myself eat breakfast as an adult. I start my morning with a cup of warm lemon water, and I am set. I have never been a coffee drinker, so I don’t have to worry about that. My biggest hangup is that I crave Coke Zero! I have tried to stop drinking it but get the biggest headache. I’ve tried to substitute hot green tea in it’s place, but it’s not the same. So, for now, I remain a Coke Zero addict. I am not ashamed!

In addition to healthier food choices and water, whether you’re sold on the whole intermittent fasting thing or not, let me encourage you to find something you enjoy doing as a form of exercise. I know, “enjoy” and “exercise” in the same sentence? You’ve got to be kidding, right? Nope. Like I mentioned at the beginning of this post, I enjoy free weights. I like my arms to look strong, and if you have a nice upper body, it’ll make your waistline look skinnier, also, ladies (this is a line Denise Austin would say on occasion in her workout videos that I used to do in my 20s and 30s). We all want that! But cardio is something everyone raves about for weight loss, too. I’ll be honest, on New Year’s Day, I went for a jog/walk. I am NOT one that enjoys running … ever! But that day, I said I wanted to start the new year off right, so I’d jog, then walk, jog, then walk again. I did this around our house, all around our pond, and even the field we own in the very front of our property (the field alone is 13 acres). I was one tired lady when I arrived back on the steps of my house! I snapped a picture to show my daughters – all red faced but smiling – starting the year off right. But could I keep this up? No! I do not enjoy running/jogging. I don’t enjoy the way it feels when I’m jarring my joints. I much prefer the elliptical because there aren’t any harsh blows (wait … am I old? NO!!). So, I went back to doing that in my house. It’s still not something that I love doing at length, and I have to pace myself with this. I’m doing good if I get in seven to ten minutes without feeling like I’m dying. That elliptical is the devil!

One day, I decided to venture into Aldi. I’d heard a few people talking about it, but I’d never been. So, that day, I walked into the store to check it out. They had some healthy no name brand items people in that group I mentioned were talking about, but I’m just spoiled with going into my regular market and picking up items I know and love. During my search for healthy choices, I walked down an aisle and saw a fold up stationary bike. I looked at it, liked the price of it ($89.00), but left it right there. I thought about this bike all night … and the very next day I asked my husband to pick it up for me and put it together while I was working later that afternoon. When I arrived home, my stationary bike was waiting on me. Honestly, I was surprised at how heavy duty it actually was for the price! I have started riding this bike, and I absolutely LOVE it!!!! I have worked up to ten miles in 30 minutes going 19 to 20 mph! I think, for now, I have found an exercise I enjoy!!! I never thought I’d say those words, but there they are! Now, my workout routine is 30 minutes on the bike, seven to ten minutes (okay, five minutes tonight) on the elliptical, then various exercises and reps with the free weights, and some floor/ab exercises!

I’m here to tell you, once you find something you enjoy – that is a game changer!

The best part about ALL of this is that my oldest daughter and my husband are now doing this with me! My daughter lost 10 pounds on her own by making healthier food choices. She has downloaded this app and lost an additional five pounds! My youngest daughter has always eaten healthy, but now she’s exercising more with us. She is so thin and doesn’t need to lose weight, but she wants to have some muscles. My husband just started yesterday with the app and healthier eating after not liking the results revealed on the scale, but I know he’ll do great! Men tend to lose faster than women any way, so I know he’ll reach his goal in no time! I’ll keep chugging along until I am where I want to be as well. The thing is, in 2018, I was working out and looked thin, trim, and fit … but my numbers on the scale never went down. If that happens to you, do NOT be discouraged! Go more so on how you feel, how your clothes fit, and keep plugging away!! If you do eat according to your points on the plan, you will see results, though. I have already, and I plan to stay with it. Look at it as fuel for your body, and be selective about what you put in your body … just like you are selective about what grade gas goes into your car, boat, etc. You would want something to take care of the engine and provide performance. The same can be said and applied here. The thing is that nothing is truly off limits either. It’s just all about having things in moderation.

So, go download that app and get started on your journey today! If you’re interested in the support of the group I mentioned, email me and I’ll be glad to share that with you as well! The app is free, the group is free, so what do you have to lose besides unwanted pounds?

Here’s to your success in the new year!

Reflecting on 2019

Shirley Food For Thought 2

It’s Christmastime, and what better time for reflecting on 2019 than right this minute before we usher it out the door and welcome in a brand new year!

My mom had back surgery in February, which really upset our entire world. Fear creeps in, even though you try to beat it back with all that is in you. She had a little complication after the surgery, and her hospital stay was extended. My very devoted dad stayed by her side the entire time through it all. Thankfully, my mom was soon on the mend and headed home to recover. It’s been months now, and she’s getting along much better than before. Thank you, Lord!

The year 2019 brought about new beginnings for us. While searching for land to ride our horses on, a realtor showed us one of her friend’s homes “just for kicks.” Wishing to move back to Maryland to be closer to their family, they were days away from putting their house on the market. A new house really was not on our list, as we had a home with six acres that we loved. However, upon seeing this house, we reconsidered. My oldest daughter was beginning to want to leave the nest for her independence, but instead, we switched! She stayed in the home she grew up in, and we moved in March to a two-story house on 32 acres for our new beginning!

The move came just in time for a new addition to our family, too! Our great-nephew was born in May, and we were thrilled when they chose to stay with us for a week and a half after coming home from the hospital. We were allowed a lot of bonding time, which I will always treasure! This dark haired and dark eyed little boy stole my heart!

Things weren’t all smooth sailing this year, though. We’ve had some setbacks and times that caused us great sadness as we’ve learned of health issues with those we hold so dear to our heart. We have faith in God and are hopeful that their health will be renewed, although they will be required to go through a few things before that can happen. We pray and put it in God’s hands.

Lessons are another thing that 2019 offered us as well. We’ve all done the “shoulda, coulda, woulda” over situations in our lives. However, I have learned that no amount of dwelling on it will change what happened. I can want with all of my might for things to have been different, but it won’t change the situation no matter what. Beating myself up over a mistake also does more harm than good. We talk to ourselves more during the course of the day than anyone else, so we need to extend kindness. The saying, “It is what it is” rings true. We can wish things were different and if we had the opportunity to go back and do things over again, I know we would have chosen differently. However, there is NO going back in time. What’s done is done. We just have to live with what IS.

Another lesson learned … let GO of ill feelings. They serve absolutely NO purpose. If you are holding a grudge, who do you really think you are hurting? There might be a misunderstanding that occurred, and maybe you aren’t talking to someone you once were close to. Perhaps it hurts them just as much as it hurts you that there was this division between you two. Or, maybe it’s really eating at you while they’ve gone on about their lives. Who is to know how this is affecting them if you two aren’t on speaking terms. While it is great to set up boundaries, you do have to think about the result you want in the end. Do you want to never speak to these people ever again? Or are you hopeful that at some point fences can be mended and you see each other again? If children are involved, it hurts them, too. They are not allowed to be a part of your life if there is a division some where between the parents. And you lose all that bonding time with them. Is it worth it? To me, no. I’d much rather have time with those I love, especially children. They grow up way too fast, and honestly, they should not be used as a weapon against another. They should be allowed to see all of their family members, no matter what is going on with everyone else in the family. Precious time is lost when you’re not allowed to be a part of their little lives. I, for one, am not willing to allow any more time to be wasted. I have a seven month old great-nephew that lights up my life, and I intend to spend as much time with him as I possibly can!

My daughters are my heart and soul. They have grown into two beautiful young ladies, and my heart is so grateful! I know that in this life, I have done a good job raising these young ladies. They have good morals and values, and they are the kindest souls with big hearts that would do anything in their power to help others. This was proven when my youngest daughter raised money to send to the children’s hospital, and it was further proven when my oldest daughter purchased items for a homeless man just this past week. My heart beams with pride and joy for these two.

My oldest daughter is pursing her dream of special effects makeup and had the opportunity to go to Wisconsin this year to participate in their haunted house. She’s getting ready to explore new things in the hair industry this coming year as well.

My youngest daughter is a Freshman in High School! Y’all, she’s 15 years old with hair just about as long as her legs!!! She is so incredibly tall and extremely smart!

Can you see me beaming all the way over there? I’m probably beaming brighter than your Christmas tree lights right now!

Let’s not forget my son-in-law-to-be. I prayed for a Christian young man to come into my oldest daughter’s life to show her what it is to be treasured and cherished. God brought him to us three years ago, and they are talking of a future together. It makes my heart dance to see them together and then to hear of their plans! My heart is so full.

This past weekend, we hosted a Christmas party. We love to have the walls of our new home filled with love and laughter, and this party did not disappoint. My dear friend, Greg, drove all the way from Illinois to be with us JUST for that evening. Never in all of my life have I had anyone drive 11 hours to be present for a Christmas party we were having, and yet, he did. That is a true friend … a friend of a lifetime!

Ah, 2019, you have been a good one … all things considered. We are truly blessed, and we thank God for it all.

Year 2020, please be kind to us!

Merry Christmas from our family to yours …

Darkness

Shirley Angel of Hope 0

It’s a bitter cold, dreary and rainy type of day here in the South.

I went about my regular routine this morning getting ready for work. As I was throwing the load of towels into the dryer on my way out of the door, my daughter called. Her sweet, soft voice came over the speaker. She knew what day it was for me; my sister’s birthday. Normally this is a happy occasion, and I’m sure it is with the angels gathered around in Heaven singing her a heavenly “Happy Birthday.” Down here on Earth, though, our hearts still yearn for her.

It has now been 18 years that I’ve gone through the motions of this day. It should be second nature by now to remember her silently, then go about my day. Right?

Wrong.

We can’t help but think of 18 years that she should have been here with you. Eighteen years of memories that you and your children should have been able to make with her gathered around at every occasion. When my parents come through the door for the holidays in a few weeks, my sister should be right behind them with the biggest smile on her face.

Eighteen years without her laughter … without her mischievous grin … without her doing sweet gestures “Just because.”

Yes, we have the memories that we cling to … and I treasure each and every one. We have pictures, although if I had known her life would be cut short, I would have taken a thousand more to hold and flip through … on days like this.

These days are known to my family as “tender days.” It’s a phrase the suicide survivor’s group passed down to us. Tender days consist of our loved ones birthday, the anniversary of their passing, holidays, and any other special occasions that they should have been present for … but aren’t.

Darkness could so easily slip in at a time like this. It’s when you really have to fight it, and fight with all you’ve got inside of you at times.

I honestly thought I was doing okay until last weekend at the annual Angel of Hope Vigil when tears stung my eyes, then became a never ending river flowing down my cheeks. For the past ten years, my family and I have attended this ceremony to remember all of the children (regardless of age) that left this world way too soon. I purchased a plaque on the wall behind the angel a few years ago in order to allow another place to “visit” with my sister. It was hard for my parents to visit the cemetery, and honestly, for me as well. So, the Angel provides another sacred area to pay tribute and honor to my sister.

She’s so much more than the way she died. That’s what I want everyone to “get.”

She’s the joy she brought to so many that came to know her. While quiet and shy at first, she became a little more outgoing the more she felt comfortable in your presence. Then, watch out because the prankster might reveal itself. She’s the sweet tokens of love she’d leave under the table cloth for me to find after she left my house … I’ll never forget the Valentine’s gifts she hid for me under that table. She placed them under there when she visited, and she called a few days later to say, “Hey, how about go look under that table cloth and tell me what you see …”

And so I remember those little things even more so today … and carry them with me always. With every memory I have of her, I wish I had ten thousand more … but my time with her was cut short.

Now she’s in the arms of the angels … in the arms of God …

Holiday Spirit

Shirley Food For Thought 0

Our family couldn’t wait to decorate for Christmas this year. We had only been in our new home for eight months when my youngest daughter exclaimed, “I want to go all out for Christmas.” And so the decorating began in November. Usually the rule in my house is to decorate the day AFTER Thanksgiving, but this year, we were in the holiday spirit weeks prior to Thanksgiving.

It is such a special time of year, with a feeling of magic in the air. Everything seems so much brighter this time of year, with people seemingly more friendly and loving toward each other.

Why can’t we carry this feeling with us long after the holidays have gone?

For now, I’ll enjoy it while I can.

Sitting by the blazing fire, music playing softly, with Christmas lights twinkling all around me, I have to ask, “Does it get any better than this?”

Family and friends drew near on Thanksgiving day as we feasted together, truly thankful for all of our many blessings in this life. We are missing some this holiday season, but we keep them in our hearts … forever. Our memories bring them back to us any time we’d like … we just drift off into our own thoughts and find them there. What we wouldn’t do to have one more conversation with them, to tell them all the things we need to say to them. But, our hearts whisper them now and ask God to carry our message to our loved ones in Heaven.

I’m thankful for the man with white-as-cotton hair that I used to play in as I sat behind him in the car. “Papa,” as we all lovingly called him, even though he was my father-in-law and not my grandpa as so many thought when they saw us together. I’ll never forget this big, strong man sitting at the bar in the kitchen asking in this low tone, “Will you be my friend?” We’d laugh, as he was cutting up and fooling around. Oh, how I miss that man. “Tears In Heaven” was a favorite he would play, and it’s hard to listen to that Eric Clapton song today without thinking of his sad eyes upon learning he had lung cancer. We rallied around him, through the surgeries and treatments. He left this world way too soon, snatched from us before I could officially tell him that I was pregnant with his grandchild! She has had to learn of him through pictures and stories we tell … and that is my duty to make sure his memory lives on.

My heart is grateful for 33 years with my sister, although not all of them were full of happiness and joy. We fought, as all sisters do, and we had a falling out. But my heart is forever thankful for the time I had when our stubborn hearts were reunited. I’ll forever treasure the memory of her arriving at my workplace with a present for me. It wasn’t my birthday, holiday, or any special occasion that I knew of … yet she offered this present to me with a smirk upon her face. I took it from her hands, with a puzzled look on my face. She never said a word … just stood there grinning as I unwrapped the present to find a picture frame with her ultrasound inside. My heart leaped and did cartwheels at the thought of my sister having a baby. I’ll treasure that memory for all time. That special moment she shared with me.

I can’t help but think of the brown haired little boy looking up at me from his car seat as my daughter returned from a visit with her father years ago. Her brother, so innocent and sweet, sat there with skin of a porcelain doll. The face of an angel. He grew into this giant of a young man, towering over my daughter in her graduation picture. Yet another taken from us way too soon … he’s forever frozen at just 19 years of age.

I think of my grandparents that have gone on to be with the Lord. I was never their favorite, and I knew this. But toward the end, I felt I had some special time with my grandmother. We decorated her house and brought cake to welcome her home after an extended hospital stay. I knew the end was near after she suffered terribly for two years. Then, on her last Christmas with us, we took her a birthday cake and sang Happy Birthday to Jesus. I’ll forever remember this once strong woman, now in her weak, frail state, singing along with us, giving reverence to our Lord and Savior.

The last Christmas with my mother-in-law was extra special as well. She knew the end was drawing near after she could not tolerate any more chemo. And so she invited us over for an early Christmas meal. We gathered around, trying desperately not to acknowledge what the near future would hold and just enjoy the time we had together. We ate the feast prepared by a local caterer, as she was far too weak yet would not allow us to bring anything. We laughed together and exchanged gifts … then a few short months later, she passed away.

Pictures … and memories … are all we have left of these beautiful people. Our hearts miss them more than our mouths will ever speak of … and we shed silent tears for them. But they have shaped who we are today. None of us will go through life unchanged or unaffected by the time we shared with them. It’s carved in our minds and we are better people for having them touch our hearts as they have.

A lot of people balk or groan at the thought of holiday pictures, or pictures in general … yet they are treasured for those left to pick up the pieces long after you’re gone.

This holiday season, get in the pictures. Laugh that full on belly laugh with your loved ones and stop hiding when the camera gets pointed in your direction. One day someone will be sitting there thinking of you and re-living memories, as they rifle through their pictures searching with all their might for ones of you.

Please …

Shirley Food For Thought 0

Everyone has probably been preached to about wearing their seat belt and also not texting and driving. Well, add me to the list because I feel it is important to share this message yet again.

Please … before you get in the vehicle and consider not buckling up, think of your family. If you have children, think of their little faces looking up to you to do what is right. The same with texting and driving. I’m sure we’ve all used poor judgement and done it from time to time, but it only takes a split second to run off the road and hit a tree or cross the centerline and hit someone head on.

We’ve seen countless newspaper articles talking of people that lost their lives to these two things. Working in the field that I’m in, I’ve seen it myself with individuals in their 20s losing their lives due to not wearing their seat belt, texting and driving, or both!

Please … don’t be a statistic.

When you get into your vehicle, the very first thing you should do is buckle up! Not only is it the law, but it is truly a proven lifesaving device!

When my oldest daughter started driving, I asked her to place her cell phone in the console or the back seat to ensure there was no way she would be tempted to look at her phone when she was behind the wheel. Now that my youngest daughter has her learner’s permit, I will instill this into her as well.

That text message CAN wait! The notifications blowing up your phone from Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and any other social media … they are NOT worth risking your life over!

Your family needs you to be here for them. There are a LOT of memories yet to be made together with them. Let that be motivation enough to use wisdom here!

Freshman Year

Shirley Food For Thought, Words of Love To My Babies 0

My youngest daughter has started her Freshman year of high school. Lord, help me! She is growing up way too fast – which is something every mother in the world says repeatedly. The years truly have flown by, though.

She stands at five feet, two inches tall, with the longest legs! She is quite a beauty, and I’m not just saying that because she’s my daughter. Her beauty shines from the inside outward, in her ocean blue eyes that sparkle. When she smiles, she lights up the entire room. And her hair … the longest golden blonde and brown mixed … that goes all the way down her back. But her true beauty isn’t that of her looks or her long locks, it is that heart of gold that she has. She is such a tenderhearted person, with compassion and love that flows freely from her to family, friends, and animals, too. Ah yes, she is a lover of all animals, and if I would let her, she would take in every stray and make sure they had a loving, forever home.

Having just turned 15 years old this past Sunday, she’s looking forward to big things such as getting her driver’s permit! Oh Dear Lord, can this mother’s heart handle another teen driver? I still worry about my oldest daughter, and she’s 22 years old. I know they have to grow up, and this is a right of passage! But all I can see is my curly haired toddler giggling at me from behind the wheel she can barely see over. Ha! In reality, she sits up tall in her seat, buckled in safely, and takes extra precautions just to drive down our long, private driveway to the mailbox. Yes, she is ready … and so I’ll smile bravely, tell her how proud I am of her when she gets her permit, and pray for her each and every time she gets behind the wheel.

Big things are on the horizon for my baby girl!

Oh, Baby!

Shirley Food For Thought, Inspiration, My Story, Women of Faith 0

May 8, 2019 had us all saying, “Oh, Baby!”

Oliver Alexander entered this world weighing in at 7 lbs., 13 1/2 ounces.

My niece allowed my daughter and I to attend his birth. We assisted in providing what little pain relief we could while she was in active labor by rubbing her back, applying pressure, and also rubbing her feet. We worked right alongside her fiancé, and together, the three of us were her birth coaches. It thrilled my heart completely to be a part of this, and I feel like we all got closer in the process!

This little guy has brought so much love and happiness into our lives. My heart is so full thinking of his perfect little fingers and toes, the cutest lips you’ve ever seen, and his nostrils that are in the shape of hearts! I kid you not! This little sugar lump came into the world with beautiful auburn hair – a head full of it!!

And just in that instant, he wrapped me completely and totally around his pinkie finger. One look at him was all it took, and I am forever hooked! I knew I loved him long before I ever met him, but that sealed the deal when I saw his precious little body lifted up by the doctor as he was placed on his mommy’s chest. Laying there, I knew that this little guy wiggled his way even more so into my heart.

This moment filled with so much joy also was tainted by fear …

Seventeen years ago, my sister gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I was right outside the door when she took her first breath and cried such a sweet cry that was like music to our ears. Shortly thereafter, I was ushered into the room to be by my sister’s side as she held her sweet baby, my niece, Melanie. This was such a precious moment as I basked in my sister’s happiness as she held her bundle of joy close to her.

Two weeks later, tragedy struck. My sister took her own life as Melanie laid in her bassinet in the other room. All of the questions filled our heads, but there are no answers … even to this very day. There was suspicion that she was having issues with postpartum depression, but usually that doesn’t show as early as this. In this case, others were saying it was psychosis. Then another twist to this was hearing from a so called friend that my brother-in-law cheated on my sister, she found out, and that was why she killed herself. The truth is some where in all of this, but it will not be found this side of heaven. There will only be great speculation as to what occurred.

Standing in that hospital room in May, I was taken back to that moment in time when we lost my sister, Pamela. I spoke with the doctor outside of the room to express my concerns again. A wrinkle formed between her eyes on her forehead as she listened. We all agreed that my niece needed to be watched closely. Prior to her delivery, we decided for her to spend two weeks at my house so I could help her with the baby but also to keep an eye on her.

This precious time was also tainted by wishing my sister could have been present for the birth. Oh, how I know she would have loved this little one … her grandchild. And even though she’s not here with us in person, I know she’s watching everything as it unfolds. I believe she’s looking out for her daughter and her grandson. While I would never try to take her place, I am honored that my niece trusted me as she did to be there for her during this time. It makes my heart soar to think that she placed such trust in me to be there for her! Although she lives two hours and 30 minutes from us, nothing was going to stop me from being there! She needed me, and there is no place I would have rather been than by her side throughout all of this.

During her pregnancy, we were told that Oliver would have a birth defect. For short, it is called ACC, or the full name of his birth defect is Agenesis of corpus callosum. Agenesis of corpus callosum is an extremely rare disorder, 2 to 7 out of 1,000 births will result in this defect. The absence of this part of the brain was actually picked up on the many ultrasounds my niece had when she was pregnant. We hoped and prayed with all of our might throughout her entire pregnancy that maybe, just maybe, the doctors were wrong. But, as the brain scan revealed the day after he was born, little Oliver did, in fact, have ACC.

To further give you background on this rare birth defect, it is noted with this condition a partial or complete absence (agenesis) of the area that connects the two hemispheres of the brain. It brought us great sadness learning that this condition could result in mental retardation, but we also had hope in that intelligence may be only mildly impaired and subtle psychosocial symptoms may be present.

My niece went forward with her pregnancy knowing what “could” happen. She knew the answer to the “what if he has this …” and she went on to deliver this beautiful baby boy with olive skin and a head full of beautiful auburn hair. I am so proud of the woman my niece has become and that she carried this child in her body even with her own was wracked with fear of the unknown. It was with the great love in all of our hearts that we supported her and helped her through this time.

I will never forget meeting with the doctor and hearing the news … and upon checking out how I put my arms around my niece and held her as she cried. I whispered, “This baby is going to be so loved! NO matter what!” And I meant every single word.

Oliver is now five weeks old, weighing in at 10 lbs 5 oz. And I am happy to report that Mother and Baby are both doing GREAT!

I had the privilege of having them in my home, caring for Mother and Baby, and bonding with them both! I will never be able to properly put into words what this all has meant to me … and to us as a family.

Little Oliver may have ACC, but as of yet, we have not seen any signs of this in him, nor have the doctors. We continue to pray that as Oliver gets older, he will not face any ill effects of ACC. In our eyes, he looks absolutely perfect … looking at him, you’d never be able to tell he has any kind of birth defect at all. He is behaving just like a normal, healthy little boy! And we give God all of the praise, glory, and honor for this miracle he’s working in this little boy’s life.

One morning when I had Oliver swaddled in a blanket, I took him outside to enjoy the sounds of the birds chirping nearby. We sat together in my garden area, one of my most favorite places in my entire yard. I sang to him and prayed over him. I asked God to please bless this little one with a miracle. He is able, and I believe with my whole heart that God can do this for us. This little guy has so much potential, and I want him to have the same opportunities as every other little boy. I want him to grow and know he’s loved and cherished. I want him to excel in whatever he embarks on in life; to flourish and beat the odds! I want people to be completely astonished to learn that he has ACC and that there was ever any doubt that this might hold him back. I want us to be there cheering him on as he does great things in life.

Oh, how I love this little boy!!

Please join me in praying over Oliver Alexander, my angel baby!

Book Brush – Easy Ad Creation for Authors

Gregory Johnson Helpful Tips for Everyone 0

Your book is done. You want to get the word out. Social media is the place to start. What image sizes do I use for Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter? How about Pinterest? Amazon? You start thinking that it could take hours to find all the information you need to put together an ad for your book. Not so with Book Brush.

Book Brush is a tool to help you get an ad created in a minimal amount of time for use on any social media platform or as a website banner ad. It has an easy to use interface.

First, you will need to create an account. Book Brush has two levels; limited and plus. The limited account is free. You can create three images a month. The Plus plan is $8.00 a month and gives you full access to all the templates, stamps and fonts available. Each plan has access to a huge selection of background images. You can even upload your own.

I used the cover from a desktop publishing assignment I am working on to create my first Book Brush image. Click on the Custom Creator button in the top menu. The first thing you will pick is the ad size you want. This is where Book Brush is invaluable. They have ad sizes for all the major social media platforms, Amazon, web banner ads, and a business card size.

They only set up three website banner ad sizes; 300px x 200px, 600px x 300px and 728px x 90px. There are several other standard sizes:

250 x 250 – Square

200 x 200 – Small Square

468 x 60 – Banner

300 x 250 – Inline Rectangle

336 x 280 – Large Rectangle

120 x 600 – Skyscraper

160 x 600 – Wide Skyscraper

Even though these are not preset up for you, you can make custom ad sizes.

Next, you may pick a pre-built template. Book Brush offers nicely done pre-made templates for you to use. You can also create your own templates from a finished ad. The next step is to choose a background image or upload one of your own. Then, you get to choose a book template. I love this section. You just click how you would like your book displayed and then upload the image of your book. Please note: the image of your book must be a minimum of 1000px in height and not more than 3mb in file size.

Once your book is placed on the background you can move it anywhere on the background. There are several editing tools you can use. Click on the “Tips button” to access instructions. Next, add some text, and finally, you may add some stamps to the image. Once you are finished, click Download in the top menu to save your ad to your computer. If you want to keep your ad, click on “Save as Template.”

That is a brief run through on how to use Book Brush. I created my first ad (shown right) in about five minutes. This is extremely fast. I work at an ad agency using tools like Photoshop, Illustrator and InDesign every day. I was able to put a nice-looking ad together in Book Brush much faster than using any of those tools.

To sum up things: Book Brush is a great tool to create ads for promoting your publications. I highly recommend it. Check it out at bookbrush.com.

“Disclosure (in accordance with the FTC’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”): Many thanks to Propeller Consulting, LLC for providing the product/product information. Opinions are 100% my own and NOT influenced by monetary compensation. I did/will receive a sample of the product in exchange for this review and post.

Legacy

Shirley Food For Thought 0

Each one of us is working on the legacy we will leave behind one day. How will people refer to you when you’ve passed on?

Recently, we handled a service for a lady that lived to be 90 years old. She had pre-arrangements with the funeral home, having paid the balance in advance, and had even written her own obituary. When the family came in to finalize everything for the date and time of her service, they asked me to make a copy of a sweet note she had written entitled, “Will and Testament.” I provided several copies for everyone in the family to have once I realized the significance of what was written.

While I feel it would not be in good taste to reveal the exact words written within the content of that note, I do wish to share with you the jest of it.

Wishing to leave her family well equipped for the remainder of their lives, she desired to pass along a fortune of courage for what they may face. She also desired to transfer the belief in God that had provided much strength, hope and comfort throughout her life. Realizing that each individual has to find this for themselves, she resigned that all she could do was leave her love, which was in abundance and would remain everlasting. She ended the note with her prayer for God’s blessings for each of her beloved family members.

Think on this the rest of the day – what legacy will you leave behind?

New Beginnings

Shirley Food For Thought 0

Spring is here, finally, after Winter seemed to drag on forever! With Spring comes a renewed love for life and nature. Pretty shades of green begins to emerge on plants that were dormant during the cold months. New buds appear on flowers, and we pray that there’s no “cold snap” before Easter that will kill the new life that has been breathed into these flowering plants.

It’s a time for new beginnings!

In this past month since I’ve written, my mom has definitely had a new beginning. She had severe back pain for over a year and a half due to pinched nerves in her spine. Two weeks after surgery, she was finally released from the hospital after several different complications that occurred. The surgery on her back was a success, and she was not in any pain with that, thankfully. It was other matters that prolonged her hospital stay. She ended up going home with physical therapy on order and a variety of other things to deal with. After using the walker for a good while, she then progressed to the point where she only needed a cane. Imagine my delight when my parents drove up to my house last Saturday. This was the first time she felt like going any where after six weeks. The door sprung open, and my mother proceeded to get out of the vehicle, walk to the edge of the steps and then start climbing the nine steps in order to make it inside of my house. It did my heart so much good to see her getting around like that!

There has been a new beginning taking place in my life as well. We moved! After 25 years of living in the same place, we decided it was time for a change. My husband actually called it a “fresh start” and a “new beginning” for us. A lot of people wait until they retire to go on trips or buy that vacation house. Sadly, too many fall ill right after retirement and are not able to enjoy the fruits of their labor after all of those years of working. So, we decided to go for it now and enjoy life. You can’t take it with you, that’s for sure, so you might as well enjoy while you’re alive.

We moved on the complete opposite side of town and have more acreage now for us to ride our horses on! There’s a pond for us to enjoy fishing in as a family, and we will still be able to enjoy Summertime in our pool. While we didn’t “need” this house or any of the extras that came with it, it was something we felt we wanted to do as a family. My youngest daughter fell in love with the house when she first saw it, and for a month after, she asked every single day, “Have you heard anything on the house?” She was so anxious to finally move in that when we did, she would not leave the house for the entire first weekend we were there! She honestly LOVES the new house, and honestly, I am quite fond of it myself! It’s more than I could have ever imagined. After all of the years of my husband being so humble and not wanting to be too “showy,” we are now enjoying the hard work both of us have put in for all of these years.

My oldest daughter is now living in my old house. It was full of so many memories of my children growing up that it was hard to even think of selling it! Every corner had a special memory! I’ll never forget the time my oldest daughter was in her little walker. She was so cute and looked as innocent as ever, until she looked right at me and heard me say, “No … don’t you do that …” and disregarded everything I just said as she snatched the peace lily leaves and ran down the hall as fast as she could in that walker! She left a trail of dirt behind her as she had a death grip on that peace lily. I can laugh about it now! But it’s moments like those that are forever etched in my memory. How could I possibly sell that house? It’s the house that both of my babies grew up in. It was also the same home that my niece knew throughout her childhood when I was allowed to have her visit with us. I rocked all three babies in my wooden rocking chair in the living room as I patted their little diapered bottoms while singing “Jesus Loves Me.” My oldest daughter teases me now that my niece is expecting a baby of her own. My daughter mimics me rocking and humming or either singing my special tune that I sang with all three of them.

Memories!!

I could not let them go. So the house had to stay, and my heart is so full knowing that my daughter will live in this house where she will make memories of her very own there. (She and her boyfriend are talking about future plans to marry, and my heart leaps and does flips over this!) And if she ever tires of calling this “home,” then my youngest daughter has already said she wishes to live there one day, too. How wonderful to know that this house full of memories will remain in our family for years and years to come!

My niece will be 33 weeks pregnant this weekend, and we’re having a baby shower for her! Little Oliver will be here in just a few short weeks. I’ll actually be surprised if she goes to her due date of May 12th. We’re excited, yet nervous, but we’re expecting great things. God is so good … and we know that no matter what we will face with this special needs child, HE will see us through it all!

Yes, new beginnings … for everyone!

Begin Again

Shirley Food For Thought 0

I had every intention of joining in the 28 day writing challenge that started February 1st. As my blogger friends geared up for this, life got in the way on my end. Fourteen days have gone by, and we wonder how that is even possible. We were just celebrating New Years, then we blinked and have fast forwarded to Valentine’s Day!

Life has a way of doing that, you know.

I have the option of starting right now – today – with this writing challenge. Some would think it’s no use since we’re already halfway through the month. But that is the beauty of things. You get to choose when you start, and you know what? You can always begin again if you fall behind.

The point is that you always have a choice in the matter. Yes, there are things outside of your control … but take the items you can do something about and pour your energy into them.

You can do the same with your relationships. Whether a romantic interest or a friendship … even with family members … you can begin again with them at any moment. Disagreements happen from time to time. If you live long enough, each and every one will encounter not so happy moments with people they love. Girlfriends and boyfriends have spats, just like people that have been married for 53 years. Families have little squabbles, too. I don’t know of a single perfect family. Do you? And friendships … there can be misunderstandings there, too, or falling outs that happen. It’s so sad when that does happen, especially if you’ve been friends for many years. You lose touch, life just gets busy or in the way, and the next thing you know, you’ve lost that special friend you were so close to for all of those years.

Choose to begin again, if they are willing.

That has just recently happened in my life.

It’s no secret that marriage is hard. It’s two individual people meshing their lives together. It can get sticky at times with their own strong wills coming forth, and discontent develops at the other’s poor choices. Other times, it’s smooth sailing. We shouldn’t fool ourselves into believing that it will always be like walking along in the rose garden. Oh no, you’re bound to get snagged by the thorns at some point.

The same thing happens with friendships. Feelings get hurt, one feels they care more than the other or are putting more energy into the friendship, and pretty soon they stop trying. What they don’t realize is that maybe the other party has something going on that they just haven’t been able to bring themselves to talk about just yet. And now, they won’t because the one they once confided in has distanced themselves.

Often times, it is a misconception that occurs. One “thinks” so it must “be” …

WRONG!

And a person’s perception is their reality.

That was a hard one to grasp for me. Just because someone perceives me as a snotty Missy Goody Two Shoes does not make it so. I don’t stick my nose in the air or look down at any one. Imagine my surprise when people have spoken such words about me. But it was all in their perception of me, which I have no control over. When they got to know me, they realized how wrong they truly were.

Has that ever happened to you? I know it has with me.

The shy, quiet type … maybe they aren’t insecure. Maybe they just prefer to listen because they learn so much more than someone yapping all day long. But they are often judged harshly or viewed in a negative manner. Truth be told, they are probably smarter than all of us put together!

I, for one, am thankful for new beginnings. And the one that honestly shouldn’t still be here after EVERY thing that has happened in life … is right here rooting for me, just as I am rooting for them. They understand that there is no perfect person on the face of the earth. If one strives to do better, why not put your best foot forward as well?

And that’s what we’ve done.

Spring time will soon be here, with daylight savings among us once more. What a PERFECT time to breathe new life into your relationships and start over … take it one day at a time … and choose to begin again.

A Week Later

Shirley Food For Thought 0

What a hard week this has been for my family. My mother is still in the hospital a week later after back surgery due to complications. She scared us completely when she wouldn’t wake up the day after surgery, and they referred to her as “unresponsive.” Thankfully, it was just the combination of her age, the anesthesia and the pain medicine they were giving her that caused this reaction, according to the nurse and doctor. What’s been so great about all of this is that when she did wake up, she indicated she was not in pain from the actual surgery. They went in and put rods and pins in her back to relieve the pressure on nerves that were causing her extreme pain for a year and a half. The doctor told her that if she did not have the surgery, she would end up in a wheelchair. She felt she had no choice but to go through with the surgery then. In light of our fear and her hesitation to begin with when surgery was mentioned, it is wonderful that she has not experienced any pain from the actual surgery itself. With her being able to tell the staff that on Wednesday, they weaned her off of the pain medicine and were just giving her Tylenol if needed.

Sadly, complications seemed to come at us completely blindsiding us completely. We did not expect any problems, as the doctor was talking about her going home the day after surgery. However, a week later, my mom is still in the hospital. They did, thankfully, stepped her down from ICU and into a regular room Saturday evening when I was sitting with her. This would allow my parents a little more privacy, and, hopefully, the ability to rest more while in the hospital.

If they could just get my mom’s fever to go away, but it is still bouncing around as they try to determine what else is causing it. They knew about the pneumonia, despite having the pneumonia shot, but now they are treating her with two different antibiotics as they try to determine what else is causing the fever.

We’ve relieved my dad as much as possible over the weekend, but he does not wish to have her unattended for very long while in the hospital. He is very protective of her, but I have tried to explain, although he’s worn out and just plain tired, that she is in the best place at the moment. She can’t go home with an elevated heart rate, blood pressure, and blood sugar numbers. Honestly, with the fever, she needs to be there until it is completely gone and she’s healed from whatever it is that is causing the problem. Realistically, we know this. But when someone has been away from their home for a week, it gets old fast. My strong willed mother has even tried to get up in the middle of the night to go home. There have been a few times she has dreamed she was at home making coffee, but alas, in the hospital she sits until the complications go away completely.

As far as the actual surgery, they have gotten my mom up and moving around with a walker. She was able to walk the halls Sunday, so she’s proven how strong she is in all of this. She has the will inside of her, whereas at the beginning, we were wondering if she was going to pull all of her strength together to beat this. Her fear of moving around after the surgery had her where she would not do a whole lot on her own. However, after the rehabilitation staff came around to present literature on their facility to my parents, my dad had to really talk to my mother to let her know that ultimately it was up to her to have the will to get herself moving after surgery. The other option was the rehab facility, which none of us wanted since it was more like a nursing home. After hearing this, my mother started doing more for herself, which was a great relief to us all.

Prayer is a wonderful thing, and we appreciate everyone that has taken the time to pray for my mom. Please continue, as we want her restored to health and able to return home to watching her “shows” and drinking her caffeine free diet coke.

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Light, Love, Hope

Light in the Darkness Surrounded by Love with Hope for those in need.