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Light, Love, Hope

Light in the Darkness Surrounded by Love with Hope for those in need.

Journaling

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My oldest daughter has a wide variety of Sharpie pens in the prettiest colors.  She also has gel pens, calligraphy pens, and quite frankly, a pen obsession!

She loves doodling on any scrap piece of paper, and just recently she started writing cards with her calligraphy pen set.

She has always had an obsession, but now there is a full drawer of her nightstand dedicated to nothing but pens!  I kid you not!

With Bible journaling being the latest trend, she is the first person I thought of when I saw these beautiful art journals!   I smiled thinking of the fun she would have writing in the prettiest of handwriting, with the determined look she always gets on her face when she’s striving to get every letter just right!

She has always been artistic, as is my youngest daughter as well.

Perhaps they will share the journals together?  Or, maybe we will choose which of the three is our absolute favorite, that way we can each have a journal to write our deepest thoughts in as we feel lead to do so.

OR

Wouldn’t these journals make the perfect Christmas gifts?!  YES, THEY WOULD!

If you have someone on your Christmas list just like my daughter, let me assure you, your friend or family member will be in writing/doodling heaven with these art journals!

I loved running my hand over the hard cover of these journals, feeling the indentions of each word as I looked at the array of colors on the front.  One journal in particular has a turquoise rubber band type closure on the right end, which I took great pride in slipping off and running my fingers through the pages.  There are pages within this journal with samples of art, with instructions and places in which to try your hand at illuminating your journal with art!

The second journal I picked up is a coloring Bible journal.  Oh, the fun one could have with that.  Like a little child that sits before their coloring books, determined to color within the lines and have the colors jump off of the page at you.  I can see us relieving stress by coloring as we once did when we were young.  Who doesn’t need a little childlike fun in their lives?!

The final journal that I waited until the very last to admire was Faith & Lettering.  And it did not disappoint!  The hot pink spine of the book also matches the hot pink FAITH banner across the cover.  That is what first caught my eye, but as I looked further, I noticed it also has an elastic black band at the top of the spine to secure your finest writing pen.   There are pages within this journal that remind me of graph paper with the dots, which allows you to unleash your creative talent within those very pages.  They have styles of lettering you can copy, with places for you to practice until you perfect the creative writing style.  You can choose bible verses to write as creatively as you desire, or letters from a poem to make them look so elegant on the pages of this journal.  I can see hours of meditating on God’s word and just being One with Him, as you write out bible verses.

I’ll never forget my grandmother’s bible.  Although the cover was worn, you knew it was because she carried that bible faithfully to church with her, and she used it throughout the week studying her bible lessons.  While she didn’t doodle in her bible, she did write dates of sermons that she loved based on particular bible verses.  She’d also write little prayers for her family in the margins.  These things came to mind when I saw these journals.

To me, my bible was sacred.  I feared I would tarnish it in some way if I wrote in it.  Highlighting with pink seemed to be disgraceful, too, so I stayed safe with the yellow highlighter, if I dared to take anything to the pages within my bible.  Now I don’t have to feel this way at all with the freedom these art journals provide!

Be sure to check them out at EllieClaire.com – they would be just PERFECT for the creative one in your life!

 

 

Burden

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“I feel like I am the cause of all of this, and I don’t like it.  I don’t want to be a burden to you.”

Someone spoke those very words to me just yesterday.  I stopped for a moment because there have been times, I’m sure, in all of our lives when we’ve said or thought similar things.

Burden.

Typically a heavy load.

That’s the definition.

Are you carrying a heavy load, yourself, right this minute?  Do you feel like you have this large suitcase full of burdens that you carry around with you every where; “baggage,” if you will.  It really is hard carrying all of that around.  It weighs so heavily on our shoulders, and we just want relief.

Someone, anyone, take this burden from me … relieve the burden on our hearts and minds.

And I know just the One that will do this; JESUS CHRIST.

If you pray and ask, God will reach down His Mighty Hand and calm the storms in your life.  It may not be with immediate relief, but you will be strengthened while the storms in your life are weakening.  He will make sure you are protected and safe, and He will lift the burdens you feel in your life.

 

Psalm 55:22

Turn your burdens over to the LORD,

and he will take care of you.

He will never let the righteous person stumble.

A Year Later

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Facebook continues to remind me of memories; some sweet, some not so sweet.

This time last year, I was going through so much with my “female issues.”  I’ll never forget the overwhelming feelings as I was facing not only the procedure involved with having a biopsy but the results of that biopsy.

A year later, I am SO proud to be on the other side of this.  I kept saying that when I was enduring all of the tests, procedures, surgery, and complications that followed.  “I just want to be on the other side of this …” I would stress to everyone around me.  They would respond with, “And you will be, but it just takes time …”

Time.

It seems like it is our worst enemy when you really want to be healed from something like this.  Or when your heart is hurting, no matter the cause.  You just want to get through it and not have it hurt so much.

I do love the Facebook memories the majority of the time.  It’s a reminder in situations like this of how far we have come.

A year later, I can definitely tell you that the surgery was the absolute best thing I could have done!  It has been so incredibly freeing not to have to worry about that problem any more.  There were so many thoughts and feelings swirling around at that time, but it’s been a blessing.  After going through everything that I had to endure (two surgeries and three in-office procedures after that), I am finally on the other side of this thing now!  It took until May of this year for everything to finally work and for me to be free of any issues.

This all came back to the forefront of my mind due to a Facebook post from a year ago.  On this day one year ago, I posted praises to God because my biopsy indicated I did NOT have cancer.  Praises, praises, and more praises!

Where were you a year ago, and how far have you come?  Do you ever just sit and think about the things that God has helped you through and how your life has improved in a year’s time?

Better yet, do you thank God for his protection and how far you’ve come?

 

It’s a Wonderful Life… or is it?

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As we roll into the holiday season, I have been contemplating one of my favorite holiday movies; It’s a Wonderful Life. For those that may not have seen this Christmas classic, it is the story of George Bailey who is visited by an angel named Clarence who gives George the gift of seeing how life would be in his hometown if he never existed.

What I have been thinking about is how things in my life might have been different if I had made different choices in life. Even the smallest choice you make can significantly change things. How would my life be if I had never met certain people? Would I be happier in life or would I have become a grumpy old man? Would I have done some of the things I have done, or not? Would I have found some of the things I have longed for or would I still be where I am today.

I have always believed that my path has been steered to where God wants me to be at that very moment in time. The hardest part at times is for me to understand why he has put me where I am and why I am in the situations that I experience. There is a purpose, but at times I don’t know what it is. So, I trust in God that I am following the path that is meant for me as he guides me through life and that I will become the person that he wants me to be.

28 Day Challenge

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I was so excited to be invited to a group for a new 28 Day Challenge.  Having just completed the October challenge, it really got my creative juices flowing to where I was looking forward to the next one.  The only thing is, today I saw it was not actually going to start until FEBRUARY 2019.

Bummer!

So much for that, huh?

Not wanting to end this writing Greg and I have been doing, because we’ve kinda been on a roll, I thought that perhaps he and I should challenge each other.

That sounds like a cool idea.  Right?!

RIGHT!

Now, if he will only play along.

Oh Gregory … 

Truth

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Since I rather enjoyed writing to a single prompt word, I thought I would create my own relating to a current situation.

I have always tried very hard to think about other’s feelings before I speak. There are times when I, shall we say, avoid speaking the truth. I am struggling with this as I am in a situation where I must respond to someone. My dilemma is whether or not I should truly speak my mind. Being that this is public forum, I can’t really share what the situation is with all of you.

Let me explain it like this. Let’s say you go to a job interview that you really want. You meet the people there and they are very nice. You get a tour of the facilities and an explanation of the responsibilities. You immediately see a red flag that lets you know that you could never take this job. Now I could just say the I am not interested. However, I could give an explanation that may help them see where something is seriously wrong that could easily be fixed to make things much better. However, in doing that I would probably hurt the feelings of some people there. Not everyone can take criticism. Many people take things very personally. This is where I am fighting with myself on what to do.

I have run into situations like this before and I have always taken the easy way out by making up some simple excuse or some such thing like that. But over the summer, I was witness to a situation where a person was told by many of their friends that there were very good at something and in reality they were not. Because this person was not told the truth, they put themselves in a situation where they were humiliated.

So I ask, is it always the best thing to save someone’s feelings by hiding the truth or is it better to just let it all out?

Repeat

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I have been accused of having an adulterous affair.  The person that accused me is a repeat offender.  There is absolutely NO truth to their accusations, but that does not stop them from believing the lies they fabricate in their own mind.

I was contacted by this person two years ago via text messages, which I still have saved, by the way.  There was no truth to her allegations at that time, nor is there any truth at this time either.  But it does not stop her mind from running wild with thoughts nor her mouth from spouting untruths.

I just felt I needed to put that out there, since I know she reads this page.  ~Hi there, welcome back~

The person I’m accused of having an adulterous affair with is someone that has been depressed.   Since my sister committed suicide 17 years ago, I am not going to let ANY ONE go around feeling depressed if I know about it.  I will try to help in some way.  That is just my nature.  NO, that does not make me an adulterer, and I do NOT need to wear the scarlet letter A across my chest!

If I can be a bright spot in their day and just listen … I will do that.  And that is all I have done.  I’ve encouraged and supported.  I’ve been a friend when they’ve needed one the most.

That is the extend of it.

AND my husband knows ALL about it.  I have not kept this a secret, as he knows I help in any way I can when someone is hurting.

I realize that despite me putting it out there, it won’t matter.  Therefore, all I can do is release you to God.  I am lifting this entire situation up to Him so He can handle it and work it out.

Believe whatever has been fabricated in your mind.  I cannot change that, I realize.

Despite what you have said to others or what you believe, I AM an honorable woman who refuses to be bullied, harassed, or my name slandered just because you’re upset with the direction things have taken with your marriage.  Honestly, I feel sorry for you.  If he’s done things in the past that you continuously bring up, that’s on yall. NOT ME.  I have done NOTHING but try to help you both.  I realize that is hard for you to believe.  There have been times that I’ve “counseled” on your behalf!  And there have been times I have taken up for you in the past and tried to get him to see things from your perspective.  That’s something you did not know, did you?  When you’re accusing me of having an affair with your husband, I’ve actually been over here offering suggestions to HELP YOU and YOUR MARRIAGE.

Yet, I’m the bad guy?

I’m the one you texted two years ago, and I was really nice to you despite what you were saying back then.  Now I’m the one you ask others about referring to me as “that woman Shirley” and then you call me up on the job while I’m trying to work?  That is harassment.  Perhaps I was mistaken in the past about being told by the sheriff’s deputy that it was unlawful use of a telephone (which he stated while I was in his office concerning three individuals harassing my daughter by phone/text), but he clarified it this week and said it’s actually worse now because what you’re doing is harassment.   Do not try to contact me ever again – you have been put on notice that it is harassment by the sheriff, by me, and my employer.  My employer nor I will tolerate it on a professional level or a personal level.

Please know that I wish you well.  I hope things work out for you two, I honestly do.  But please know that I am NOT THE CAUSE of ANY of the problems you two have had.   The person you see every day in the mirror – and he as well –  is responsible.  Not some innocent person that has only offered support and encouragement.

I will not change myself for you.  I will stand firm and not allow my name to be tarnished any further.  I will protect myself in any way I need to in order to insure my name is not slandered any further nor am I harassed when I’m trying to do my job or when I get home.

And I hope you get the help you need for whatever is going on inside of you that causes so much hatred and rage toward others.

I wish you well.  My heart goes out to you and your family; your children especially.   And I hope you can save your marriage.  I truly do.  You have it inside of you to make every effort to change and become more positive, to show love and affection, to really strive to be your absolute best.  And I hope you do, sweetheart.

I am NOT the enemy no matter how you want to paint that picture.

And I am NOT having an adulterous affair with your husband.  I have a beautiful family, and I strive every day to be the best mother I can be for my daughters.   Please do the same for your children.  They are watching you and your behavior.  You are their role model.  Make sure you’re a good one.

I wish you peace, joy, and love.  I release you … I am not harboring any ill feelings toward you.  I forgive you for your accusations two years ago and more recently this very week.

And I am praying for you.

May GOD reach down and touch your heart and change your outlook, your actions and reactions … and replace them with LOVE and kindness toward others.

 

Hate:  It has caused a lot of problems in this world,

but it has not solved one yet.

~Maya Angelou

 

Close

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As we close this chapter on the final Write 31 Day Challenge … I have mixed emotions almost like I did when this challenge began at the beginning of October.  I am thankful for it, though, as it pulled me out of my writing hibernation and made me really focus on something besides the storms in my life that were raging when it first began.

It has been a sweet relief, in a way.  An avenue to get my thoughts out of my head and do something constructive to encourage someone else along the way, perhaps.

Writing allows you to release what you hold bottled up inside.  Some things you just don’t want to speak .. and so you write it down, and it takes the burden off of your shoulders.  You feel a sense of relief having gotten the words OUT.

Other topics have been so fun to speak of – and my heart dances at the good news that has come into all of our lives.

The storms may rage in your life, too, but please be encouraged knowing that they aren’t here to stay.  Things change and improve on a daily basis at times … other times there seems to be days without any end in sight.  But know this.  God will be right there beside you.  When you feel you can’t go on, He will lift you up into His strong arms and CARRY you!  This I promise to you!  You will not EVER walk alone.  EVER

Close the chapter on the bad and usher in the good.

It’s like I told someone close to me recently – life will go on. Whether we stay together or we part ways, my life is improving and good things are happening.  There is a little baby I can see on the horizon.  And that gives me the joy deep within my heart, right along with my two daughters who are my life, heart, and soul.

Live life to the fullest … despite the trials.  You will persevere, too, my darlings … and you will be stronger for everything you have gone through.

Take God’s hand, put your faith and trust in Him … and you will not go wrong in this life!

Voice

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While we were away in Tennessee, my precious niece called in a puddle of tears.  My heart broke when I heard her crying, and I feared the worst.  Thankfully, she hadn’t lost the baby – which was one of our greatest fears and one of the reasons she was waiting until exactly three months along to announce her pregnancy to the world.  Her little heart was hurting, and I wanted to reach through the phone and hug her.  Living two hours away is hard enough as it is on a good day, but factor in her heart wrenching tears while we were away on our trip with no way to hurry back to her … it was all I could do to sit there holding the phone that night when what I really wanted to do was hold HER!

I heard her voice cracking as she tried to speak through her sobs.  I mustered up all the will I had inside of my body to talk her through this when what I really wanted to do was cry right along with her.  Knowing that would make the situation worse for her, I head it together and encouraged her the absolute best I could from all those miles away.

We talked for hours right there in the rental car in the parking garage in Nashville, Tennessee.  Nothing mattered at that moment in time except for her and soothing her little heart.

She is full of fears, as you can imagine being so young and with this being her first baby.  But it’s even more than that because she’s so afraid she is going to have postpartum depression like her mother (my sister) had.  She cried, and my heart longed to hold her in my arms and cradle her head against my chest as I rock her back and forth like I used to do when she was a little girl.  But I was handicapped being apart like we were.  My voice is the only way I had to reach her and the only tool I could utilize at that moment, so I spoke softly words of love, encouragement, and support into her ear … and she soaked up and hung on every single word.

I told her we’d talk to the doctor again, like we had on the first appointment I accompanied her to, about preventative medicine so she won’t have postpartum depression.  I told her we’d monitor her and be right there with her every step of the way, if she’d allow it.

She cried over my sister not being here … “Why did she have to go?  Why did she have to leave me?  She should be here NOW …” as her tears trailed off … my heart was in a million pieces on the floor board of the white Kia we were in.  My words were caught in my throat for a moment as I choked back the tears again.

I felt this 17 years ago, and that night, I felt it as strongly as ever to hear her very own daughter speak the words I’ve said many times since my sister has been gone.

We needed her so much … if only she could have seen that back then.

My niece told me that she would not be able to make it through this without me.  “I need you, Aunt Shirley … you’ve always been so encouraging and supportive, I cannot make it through this without you … I can’t …” 

Those words gathered up all of the shattered pieces of my heart that were scattered on the floor.  Magically, those pieces were mended back together and my heart was in one piece once again as I reassured her, “I am right here, darling, and I will help you through this.  I love you.  I’m not going any where … I will be there for you every step of the way, as much as you allow me to be. I promise you!”

And my words to her appeared to be like a soothing balm, as she began to grow more calmer.  Her tears that were falling like rain began to dry and soon a more perkiness returned in her voice as she began to talk about all the cute baby outfits she has seen.   By the end of our conversation, she was noticeably better and you could tell her smile had returned.

My niece needs me.  And I will be there!

 

 

Together

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All I have been able to think about is this little miracle baby growing inside of my niece as I type this.  I literally live, breathe, and obsess over this BABY!!!!

My niece came over to my house when my oldest daughter was home, which seems to be a rare occurrence in and of itself lately since she works in Charleston now.  We have talked of wanting to do maternity pictures of my niece, but now it’s more of a documentation of the entire nine months between the blog here and the MANY pictures we’re taking of her!

Obsession … I am NOT kidding you!

The eyes of my niece lit up when she saw my daughter bringing out all of her professional photography equipment.  As we set up the background and the lights, her eyes widened and she started giggling with excitement.  My daughter positioned her, and she began with the photography session.  I sat there with the biggest smile on my face with each shot taken.  Then, my daughter told me to get in the picture with my niece.  Not wanting to take away any attention from her at all, I bowed out of the pictures initially.  When my daughter insisted again, my niece insisted this time also, so I gladly stood beside her where I did not have to contain my excitement any longer!

I felt like a giddy school girl at that moment, and I had to do something a little silly in the picture so I pointed to her baby bump.

Then my daughter insisted I touch my niece’s stomach.

Well, you normally don’t walk right up to someone on the street, or even your own family members for that matter, and just randomly start touching their stomach.  That is just frowned upon, but with a pregnant woman, people cannot keep their well-meaning hands off of their stomachs!  I didn’t want to be “that” person, so I refrained UNTIL my niece said, “Go ahead, Aunt Shirley … you KNOW you want to …”  SO I DID!!!!

I “held” the baby for the first time as we took pictures together!!!

And I skipped off down the hall afterwards with the biggest, goofiest grin on my face that stayed there the rest of the night and into the next morning!

 

Moment

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*Since I was out of town this past weekend in Tennessee, I am going back to snag the prompt word from Friday.*

 

Moment

My pregnant niece invited me to accompany her to her OB/GYN appointment Wednesday afternoon.  Imagine my excitement when thinking of the ultrasound they were going to do that day!!

We shared a moment together.  Not just ANY moment.  The most special moment EVER when we saw the silhouette of her precious baby appear on the screen!!

~SQUEAL~

My niece was trying to contain her excitement, but when I started saying “Oh my gosh …” it was almost as if she found freedom to release what she was feeling also.  She followed with a much louder, “OH MY GOSH …” and lots of giggles … and at that moment, tears escaped from the outside corners of my eyes.

We saw and heard the baby’s heart beating, and we were wrapped in a blanket of joy beyond measure.

Three months pregnant … with already a perfect little nose that appeared on the screen … with what looks to be hair already!

Our thoughts ran wild about what the baby will look like … obviously it’ll have darker skin and black hair because we imagine the Mexican genes of her boyfriend will be strong.  That is okay, as long as the baby looks just like our side of the family.  ~grin~  No matter what, this baby is going to be beautiful and absolutely spoiled beyond belief!

A little baby!!

And a priceless moment shared with my niece!

 

Song

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This song struck a part deep within me, and I’m certain will resonate with so many, far and wide.

Tell Me You Love Me, by Demi Lovato, with the choir joining her in the video, stirs the soul.  We have a longing within us to be accepted, to be told we’re loved, especially on days when we’re struggling.

Tell me you love me …

Words so hard to speak as it leaves us so vulnerable when we’re standing there in front of someone wanting, needing to hear those words.  Will they say them back?  Better yet, will they make you FEEL it?

I shared this song with someone near and dear to my heart months ago.  They were visiting their mother’s grave on either the anniversary of her passing or her birthday, I can’t remember which, but those are what I refer to as “tender days.”  You NEED to feel love even more so on those days.

And the song played … and the tears fell like rain …

Tell someone you love them TODAY!  

 

 

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