Light, Love, Hope

Today my beautiful niece went to the doctor.  Not just any doctor, though.  An OB/GYN!

I realize I’m not even writing in correct sentence form either.

But who has time for that when you’re trying to make a point?!

MY NIECE IS PREGNANT!!!

She is so incredibly smart that she finished high school a year early.  Having just graduated in June, she moved shortly thereafter to live with her boyfriend in North Carolina.  We were so sad to see her go but looked forward to our visits together.  We took them to Carowinds this summer and had a great time, and she’s been back here a few times since to visit with us as well.  I have enjoyed every bit of time spent with them!

I’ll never forget the phone conversation with her when she said she had news to tell me.  Immediately I responded with, “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!!”  and she hadn’t even said anything beyond that yet.  Ha!  When she told me the news, my heart leaped out of my chest!

My sister’s baby is having a baby!!!

Oh, what joy filled my soul upon learning this.

Now I realize she’s probably already heard people saying things like, “You’re so young …” and she is, but she has graduated from high school and has been attending college. She still plans to continue with college and building her future.

Me?

I want to be a part OF that future!  NO matter what it holds.  And … in her future, WE will be HOLDING her baby!

She messaged me after the appointment today, as she goes back in a week for an ultrasound and blood work.  I was having lunch with my oldest daughter at that time, and we were both so excited we could hardly contain ourselves!  My daughter told me to ask if we could have a gender reveal party for her.  I had just picked up balloons at a store about 15 minutes before that which would be appropriate for a gender reveal OR we could use them at her actual baby shower.

Now, I was nervous asking her such a question.  I don’t want to intrude, but I want to be a part of all of this.  Only if she wants me to, though.   And I pray she does!

There I go again with the incomplete sentences.

But … the greatest thing has happened.  When I told her I wanted to be there for the ultrasounds, she responded with, “COME ON then!”

~SQUEAL~

And my heart did a back flip!

My niece has invited me in to be a part of this.

Let me say that again.  SHE HAS INVITED ME IN TO BE A PART OF THIS!

Not only has she invited me to be a part of the appointment when she has the ultrasound, but she has agreed to let them tell ME what the gender will be so we can have a gender reveal party for her!!!!

We are soaring!!

And the tears form in my eyes as I think of such an exciting time that I was a part of years ago … when my sister told me that she was pregnant.  It was such a special time the way my sister announced her pregnancy also.  I’ll never forget her allowing me to be a part of this time with her as well.

I can’t help but think of the tragedy in losing my sister two weeks after my niece was born.  I think of how my sister should be here to celebrate the anticipation of her grandbaby’s arrival, and yet, she’s in Heaven watching over them as we prepare.

My heart hurts!

Honestly, I wanted to call my sister to ask her, “Did you hear the news ….”  My sister was always the very first one I’d call to talk to, and now I can’t.  A part of me thinks she already knows, though, because God whispered it in her ear before he placed this little angel in my niece’s womb.  I believe God sent a little angel to us, to provide joy and to bring lots of laughter as we watch him or her grow.  I also believe He did so in a way to allow my niece and I to further bond together through this.  That is my prayer, at least.

She wants me to be a part of this!

And I swoon!

Thank you, Lord!

Everyone needs to have a person they can talk to when times are rough.  The world can seem like such a lonely place without this.

Do you have that in your life?  The one person you know you can turn to about anything and everything.  The one that will not sit in judgement of you but will lend a helping hand if needed.  The one that will offer advice even if you failed to take their well-meaning advice in the past.

Here’s the thing, though.  They have to keep things confidential.  They can’t spill the beans when they get mad at you.  OR the absolute worst thing – use what you’ve confided in them against you later!  They simply cannot, under any circumstances, use what you’ve told them against you later during an argument.  That’s the lowest of low!  And, it feels like the ultimate betrayal!  If you’ve ever had that happen to you, it stings!  You sit there feeling their assaults with each word they launch at you, wondering who that person is that is doing this!  Surely not the one you thought you could trust and that said they love you and have your best interest at heart!

You have to be wise about who you trust these days and how much of your life you share with them.  If you’re certain the friendship will stand the test of time, then share away.  However, be more reserved when you talk to someone that you really don’t know that much about.  That’s common sense, right?  But, a lot of people are in such desperate need to talk to someone – anyone – that they end up pouring their heart and soul out to someone unworthy of such an honor.

When someone comes to you to talk about what is bothering them, be the person you’d want to confide it.  Be the person that will keep things to themselves.  Honor the individual that trusts you so much to bare their soul to you.  Appreciate that they could talk to anyone about what is happening in their lives, yet they’ve chosen you!  Respect them enough not to share their business with anyone else and certainly never throw it back up in their faces later.

And here’s the biggest thing – BE THERE for them.

I’ve gone to friends in the past to talk about something I was going through just to come away feeling as if I “bothered” them with my stuff.  That is the biggest insult when you trust someone to confide in them, and they give the impression that they’d rather not be involved or would prefer not to be “that person” who will be there for you in your time of need.

There was a popular song by Casting Crowns a few years ago entitled “Praise You In The Storm.”  As I look back on that time period, I’m reminded of a gentleman who was struggling with cancer at the time this song came out.  This gentleman was my husband’s boss, but he became a mentor to my husband after he started working there.

He was a great businessman, but more than that, he was a man of God.  He believed in sharing his faith, and he set a good example for my husband to look up to.  He is the reason for all of the good things that came to pass while my husband worked under him, as he believed in looking out of his hardworking employees.

When he fell ill, he started a Caring Bridge page where he documented his journey through cancer treatments.  He had five beautiful blond-haired, blue-eyed little girls, and it broke our hearts what they were going through.  Sadly, although he praised God throughout his entire ordeal, he lost his battle on Earth with cancer but gained his angel wings in Heaven.

He was an example of praising God through the storms of life.

This tested the faith of those around him, but he did not show any wavering in his own faith.  Instead, he held his head up high and continued to minister to people he encountered even as he struggled with terminal cancer.

The day he died, hundreds gathered in the church watching a video of his life on the large screens on both sides of the stage.  And his niece took the “stage” to sing a song in his honor.  There wasn’t a dry eye in the place, including her, as she had to stop at the end due to the grief she was feeling singing at her uncle’s funeral.

Would you be able to display unwavering faith in God through your storms in life?  I know for me, it has been hard not to question God with what all my family and I have had to face.  However, I think my faith has remained strong throughout each and every situation.  I know I could not have made it this far without my Lord and Savior.

In a situation within my own family, my father became angry with God when we lost my sister, Pamela.  His faith was tested, and he all but turned his back on God at one point.  Who can blame him, really, after he prayed for God to “take care” of his oldest daughter, and yet she killed herself in the end.  That isn’t exactly what my father had envisioned when he prayed asking God to “take care” of her.  And we were all heart broken over the tragic way in which she left this world.  We could not comprehend how this could happen, and yet praising in the midst of our hearts shattering was the very last thing we wanted to do.  It was hard to even breathe in and out at that point.  Yet years later, my dad turned back to God and mended his relationship with Father God.  And, our hearts rejoiced.  I’ll never forget my grandmother asking my dad how he ever planned on seeing Pam again if he was so angry that he turned his back on God.  I am not exactly sure what swayed my dad to turn back to Jesus, but I’m sure glad he did.  Maybe it was a series of things from my grandmother’s words to their prayers, or maybe the cards filled with bible verses that she and my aunt would send finally got to him.  I’m not sure, as at the time he’d open the cards to find what it said on the inside and toss it down immediately.  But maybe a combination of things allowed him to answer to the knock at his heart once more when Jesus stood there asking to come back in.

It’s been several years since my dad answered the knock, and he and Jesus have walked hand in hand together.  I’m sure my dad still has questions, as we all do, but he’s managed to come back to God … and in doing so, he’s dug deeper into his bible and is able to pray “preacher worthy” prayers.  It was not something that happened over night, but we are glad my father found his way back to Jesus.

And we praise Him.

Imagine standing before two doors.

The first door is a dull gray.  Nothing too spectacular jumps out at you when you look at this door.  It’s a strong, sturdy door made of metal.  You know you will be secure when you walk through that door.  This one leads you back to your comfortable, albeit hectic, life.  The one you’ve grown accustomed to; the one where you do the same thing on a daily basis because it feels good to be in a secure environment.  You pretty much know how things will go and are okay without having a lot to upset the apple cart.

Then there’s door number two.

While it appears just as sturdy, you aren’t sure what to expect.  It’s more colorful with stained glass and beautiful designs.  It’s appealing to the eye, and it excites a part deep inside of you.  Therefore, you can’t help but wonder what awaits you, if you are brave enough to step through the threshold.  Yet, you’re frightened to take that one step out of your comfort zone into the unknown.

That is what is holding a lot of people back; the fear of the unknown.

It’s completely understandable to want what’s comfortable, what’s familiar.  But what if something grander waits on the other side of door number two?

There’s always a chance that door number two will disappoint, also.  That’s another part of the fear you’re dealing with.  What if you let go of door number one, never able to return to that door ever again, once you step through door number two?  And then you’re stuck behind locked door number two and have to find a way to accept what you’ve chosen that turned out not to be as grand as you had hoped?

That’s something we’re all facing with choices that we have to face and decisions we have to make.

When times get tough, you often ask yourself how you will get through it.  How will you survive when you feel tossed around by the seas, feeling threatened by the large swells around your boat, and fearing that at any moment your boat will take on water and sink?!

That is one thing about life; it will challenge you.

If you feel your life is dull, just wait a minute and something will happen to shake things up.  It’s almost as unpredictable as the weather at times!

How I dealt with it recently was with a long weekend getaway with my youngest daughter and my best friend in the entire world.   Greg, my friend of 20 years, offered an escape for us, and we took it!  Not only did this allow us to escape the storms in our lives, it allowed us to just … be.

He whisked us away on a plane from South Carolina to Illinois.  Our goal was to be stress free and enjoy spending time with Greg and his precious aunt.

Ah, the simple life.

And it felt SOOOO GOOD!

We arrived on a Thursday, to find Greg had provided us with a superb and spacious apartment style hotel room for our weekend getaway.  He stocked the refrigerator before our arrival, and even provided mints for our pillows (which gave us a chuckle).

Knowing me as well as he does, he had everything planned out on all of the adventures we would take while we were there.  And pampering was on the agenda that weekend, too – yes, Lord!

He wined us (okay, so it was actually Coke Zero, Mountain Dew, and water), dined us (I’m still stuffed and need to lose a few pounds from our trip!), and made us feel like a queen and a little princess (have I mentioned the deep tissue massage yet?)!

He provided entertainment in the car, with Sirius XM available for my listening pleasure, to full on carpool karaoke!

We laughed and had the best time!

And we had dinner with his sweet aunt and game night!  That is one of our favorites, when we gather around the table to play game, after game, after game.  We laughed … we harassed each other when we got the answers wrong, and even made a running joke (Ben Affleck, eh, Greg? – inside joke).

We had such good time with wonderful friends that are more like family.  We are forever indebted to Greg, and thank him for the hospitality he offered to us on this trip.

Oh, and we entertained his coworkers with our “Southern Accent,” which I still to this day do not even remotely think I even HAVE an accent at all!

So how will you get through hard times?  By surrounding yourself with friends who love you and help lighten your load!

This summer, my oldest daughter had the opportunity to attend a musical event where multiple concerts are held throughout the day.  She has always loved attending these events, but this year was something special.  Not only did she attend, but she was part of the “staff” with an organization she feels so strongly about; Hope For The Day.

My daughter has long desired to help those in need, often times putting her own wellbeing aside to help her friends.  She’s struggled with her own issues in the past, and she feels that allows her to help those in need as well since she’s been right where they are and felt some of those same feelings.  She’s come out on the other side not just surviving but THRIVING!

Her mission, like others with Hope For The Day, is to let people know that it is okay NOT to be okay!

Mental Health Day was October 10, 2018.  It was announced on the radio as I was getting dressed for work that morning.  I paused for a moment to appreciate that mental health is in the news and that help is available for those who suffer.  I have family and friends that have gone through hell and back while dealing with a mental illness.  Back when we first started going through this in the late 70s and early 80s (yes, I’m that old), no one really knew much about it because it wasn’t talked about.  It was as if it was something to be shameful of if one did present with a mental illness.  But shame is not something that needs to be felt or shouldered as a burden when it is discovered that someone has a mental illness.

You wouldn’t shun someone if they were diabetic, so why shun someone with a mental illness?  You shouldn’t!

I do realize that people with an untreated mental illness will wreak havoc on everyone around them.  This happened in my very own family until my mother was officially diagnosed and put on the right medicine when I was a child.  It’s happened, sadly, all these years later now that my very own husband has been diagnosed as Bi-polar.  He’s on medicine now and receiving counseling weekly, so we’re hopeful, whereas before we were not exactly sure if we’d make it when things were spiraling out of control with him.  Having endured all that I did as a child watching my mother go through this and having many friends go through it, still nothing prepared me for having a spouse with it!  But, here we are, trying to make it through and stay together, if possible.  I’m not going to lie to you.  It has been one of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with.  There is no escaping it when you’re a child born into it or a spouse of someone with it.  If it’s a friend, you can put distance between you once you see that nothing you say will make a difference anyway.  Try as you may, you simply cannot convince your friend to stay on the medicine the doctor has prescribed.  Been there, done that with about FOUR different friends.  I’ve actually asked myself, and my father, WHY must I endure this with family and friends, AND NOW MY HUSBAND?!  No answers are to be found, of course, but it doesn’t stop me from asking the question!

Here’s the thing.  There’s treatment for this condition – you don’t have to suffer alone.  You don’t have to put your family through hell, either.  What you do have to do is SEEK HELP!    Make the appointment!   Go see a doctor that specializes in the field.  They will diagnose you and treat you for this condition so that you can lead a normal life.  Your family will THANK you for it when you do!  When the medicine is in your system and you’re on an even keel … life will be wonderful once again!  It’s when you spiral up and down that it causes problems, so you just need something to even out the chemical imbalance in the brain.

And there’s no shame in it!!  NONE!

What you’re going through might inspire someone else when you finally seek help and receive treatment.  Others might be on the outside looking in and see themselves in what you’ve gone through.  And, when they see you living your life and no longer feeling helpless and hopeless, they will want to seek treatment, too!   You will inspire others to seek help and pursue treatment so they can live their best lives, too!

It’s okay NOT to be okay.  

What’s NOT okay is to continue to live in this and wreak havoc on your loved ones.

Please … get help.  And embrace life once you’re on the right path with counseling and medicines to treat the condition!

In our line of work, we can’t take the pain away from people when they lose a loved one.  What we can do is offer some form of comfort for them.  We try so hard to assist them with their funeral planning, providing videos of their loved ones as a lasting memorial, and printing programs for the service.  A lot of times people save those as little keepsakes.  Frankly, it is our job to make sure everything goes as smoothly as possible on the actual day of the service.  Leading up to it, though, we offer a listening ear and shoulder to cry on.  We think of the little details so the families don’t have to.

Some families have everything already lined up in a pre-need, so the wishes of their loved one was made known prior to their passing.  It does make things flow a little better when this happens, as hard decisions do not have to be made.  The person already made those for their family.  It is easy when pre-planning is involved.  However, a lot of times, other people can’t fathom the thought of planning their own funeral.  That was ME prior to my employment here!

I’ll never forget my very own grandmother even going so far as to have her bronze foot marker ordered and installed at the cemetery!

I was just a little girl, having just lost her great-grandmother, strolling through the cemetery when I saw it.  My grandmother’s name … what?  How could this be?  She was alive and well … WHY was this stone there?!  Tears began to fill my eyes, and my grandmother realized what was happening.  She walked over and put her arms around me in an effort to comfort my little heart that broke when I saw her name in the cemetery.  She smiled and said I would understand “one day …” and although I didn’t believe her at that time, I do now!

There have been many times I’ve comforted people right in my very own office at work, too.  When they come to me, they think they are ready to take the final step in the process; ordering a grave headstone or foot stone.  I’ve sat there offering not just tissues to these families but hugs when they are falling apart in front of me.  I will be honest and admit that I’m so tender hearted that I’ve teared up with these families at times.  It would take an incredibly cold hearted person to remain unaffected in this line of work.  I’m not that person.  In fact, I think I’m better suited for this position since I do have compassion for people and want to help ease their pain in some way.

It is rare that you get the opportunity to comfort people while you work.  But that is what we’re here for more than anything else; providing comfort in the most difficult of times.

My boss walked over to my desk the other day to find my website open.  We weren’t particularly busy that day, so he didn’t mind me writing at all.  He was simply inquiring as to what the page was that I was on.  I hesitated a moment, then I admitted that it was my website.  Well … mine and Greg’s.  I corrected the words just as they escaped my lips, as Greg writes occasionally, too.  This sparked curiosity in my boss, and he probed a little bit more.  He wanted to know what our website was about and how I got started with it.

I could feel myself tense up a little as I prepared to answer him.

I felt like I was opening myself up and becoming so vulnerable at that very moment in time.

But I sighed to release the anxiety I was creating in myself for fear of his judgement … and I started to explain.

Our website came about several years ago due to Greg encouraging me to write again.  You see, I enjoyed writing poetry and words of love so many years ago that I’ve lost count.  I would pour myself into what I was writing, concerning myself not with whether I was actually any good or not but with simply getting the words out.

Then tragedy struck.

My sister was snatched away from my life in the worst possible way.  My world shattered and crashed around my feet on July 9, 2001.  I lost my best friend.  My lunch companion.  My link to childhood memories.  The one person I felt I could count on in this life.

And I lost a huge piece of myself the day she died.

My desire to write became nonexistent.  No words could be found.  I could barely breathe or go from one minute to the next; writing fell by the wayside.

Until …

Greg offered his assistance in providing this outlet for me.  A form of therapy, if you will, was presented with the ability for me to write out my thoughts and feelings as they came.

All of those thoughts swirled in my head, but instead, I gave the short version answer to my boss …

Light Love Hope was born out of such a heartbreaking situation, in an effort to help … even if it’s just one person.  It’s an outlet for my struggles and my triumphs, but it’s so much more than that.  It’s letting people know that they are not alone.   I write to provide hope to people that are struggling, and I try to encourage.

My boss was surprised, but he was so supportive.  It’s a form of a ministry, in a sense.  And I take great pride in “my baby.”  He actually encouraged me to keep writing!

So … here I am, trying desperately to catch up on the prompt words provided for the Write 31 Day Challenge!   🙂

Every single one of us has a longing in our hearts to belong.  Whether you claim to be a “loner” or feel you’re an outgoing person that is the life of the party, deep down within all of us is a desire to be accepted for who we are.

Walking into a room full of people that you don’t know is quite intimidating.  It doesn’t matter if it’s a party, or if you’re going into a restaurant.  You feel you will be judged, because sadly, you have been on the receiving end of this far too many times.  Yet, what if the people on the other side of those doors welcomed you with open arms?  They are certainly supposed to when you enter a church, but that hasn’t always been the case for me and my family.  Feeling welcomed and as if you belong should never be in question when you walk through the doors of a church, but often times, those very people in those pews will look at you with judgement in their eyes.  They won’t include you into their little groups no matter what, but then you know that isn’t the church for you.  And you move on.

My daughter – 14 years old and full of beauty, from her long hair to her smile that could light up a room – was afraid to walk into a room yesterday and asked me to go with her.  She’s some where between a woman and a child.  And at that moment, this child needed her mother to walk in with her and show her that the people weren’t scary after all.  Now, they weren’t over excited that we were there, and they didn’t greet us with a smile.  They really just looked at us as we glanced around at the baked goods on the table that they had for sale.  We were picking up food from a fundraiser and thought we’d sneak a peek at the goodies.  While it was just a small room with three little old ladies inside, it was intimidating to my daughter.  She didn’t know what to expect, and neither did I really.  But we went in anyway hoping for the best.  It wasn’t anything spectacular, but we picked out our goodies and left the building.  The people weren’t mean.  They weren’t overfriendly either.  But, I think she discovered that her fear was not justified.  The little old ladies weren’t a threat to her after all.

Honestly … in life, that is all you can do is hope for the best in every situation we’re faced with.  Face it.  Don’t fear it!

But if you want to have a sense of belonging, you should also work harder on including people into your circle.  It isn’t one sided, you know.   What I do when I go into a room like that now is make eye contact with the people and smile.  Hopefully they will smile back as we say hello and we both have a pleasant experience.  But if you walk into the room unwilling to make eye contact or speak … that doesn’t give the people in the room a nice warm feeling of you either.  It truly goes both ways.

When was the last time you included someone in your plans that you normally wouldn’t?  Have you invited people to attend a function with you or just come into the quiet of your home and enjoy a cup of coffee and good conversation?

I’m trying to teach my daughter to not fear the people she encounters, like in the room with the baked goods.  I’m also trying to teach her to include others and be welcoming, herself.  It feels good to be accepted, and it also feels good to invite others in.  Be that person.   In inviting, you also open yourself to rejection.  I know.  But that isn’t on you – all you can do is invite.  It is up to others if they actually take you up on it.

We’ve talked about how everyone has a story and how important it is to share it.  But, why?  Why share?  Because someone out there stands to benefit from your story.  Someone out there is struggling and needs to know that you struggled, too, but you made it to the other side and are a survivor.  There are people going through very similar things that you’ve just gone through, so why not share in an effort to provide hope?

It’s no secret with the “female issues” I struggled with.  I was reminded of them when I was re-reading some entries from last year’s 31 Day Challenge.  My emotions were so strong back then, and rightly so.  I was really going through a lot with not only what was happening with my body but with fighting the insurance company as well.  Fast forward a year, and a lady came to me in tears asking for my help.   She started having some “female issues” of her own and was desperate to speak to me to learn what all I went through, how it helped, what doctor I used for the surgery and procedures, etc.   Thankfully, my employer is very understanding, and we were allowed to sit in the kitchen at my workplace and talk for about an hour and a half.   Her face showed her worry and concern, and at different points in our conversation she began to cry.  I comforted and reassured her as best I could.  She seemed a bit better after I shared my experience and gave her hope that her situation wasn’t as grim as she once thought.

Whatever happened with this lady?

Well, she’s facing surgery tomorrow.  Yet, she isn’t as wracked with fear at this point. She’s nervous, yes, but she’s better in knowing what I went through and how her situation isn’t quite as bad in some respects.  But she’s reassured that I’m walking around almost as good as new now, and she has hope that she will be, too!

And that, my friends, is why you should share your story … someone out there NEEDS you to do so!

Since I cheated with my first post on the Write For 31 Days, Greg came in – like a masked hero or knight in shining armor – and wrote on the prompt word for days one and two.  He has given me the inspiration to do likewise.  Being programmed as I am, it is hard for me not to give each individual prompt word the attention it rightly deserves.  In doing so, I want to give each word a separate page and devote my time to really focusing on just that word.  Alas, I’m now nine days behind, so I’ve tried to take Greg’s lead on this.  But, my strong-willed personality has taken over, and already I’ve written a long post solely on the word Believe …

And here we go …

BELIEVE

Back in 2007, I met a beautiful soul through the internet.  It was not a direct connection, though.  Our meeting came about due to a song entitled “I Believe.”  

Having been chosen to sing a solo at church, I was looking for an unique song to sing.  I didn’t want the traditional hymns they’d been singing for years, nor did I want a contemporary worship song we were used to singing in the 11 a.m. service.  Instead, I sought out a song that had a powerful message but was not the “norm.”  I wanted the words of the song and the melody to flow right across the congregation and sink right into their hearts and minds.

I found such a song in “I Believe.”

I contacted the songwriter to gain permission to sing her beautiful song about our Lord and Savior.  Not only did she grant permission, she was thrilled to have received a message from me regarding her song.  We exchanged several emails, and in doing so, she inquired as to where I lived.  When I responded, she advised me that one of her friends lived in my area.  She suggested that I get in touch with her fellow songwriter and friend.  When I did, this older lady was delighted with the thought of me singing this in church and then suggested that we should meet at some point.  Realizing she was just 15 minutes down the road from me absolutely thrilled me!

Not only did I meet this lady shortly thereafter, we helped me perfect the song right there in her home.  She had a room set up like a studio with a microphone and recording equipment.  She assisted and encouraged me, and we became good friends.  This lady that was old enough to be my grandmother became one of my dearest friends.

When her husband was ill, she would ask me to come to her house and sing for her.  Each time she would record me to play back at a later time when she needed to feel uplifted and encouraged.  Later, when I got involved with the interpretive movement team at church, she asked my family and I to come perform at her house for her.  She recorded us as we worshipped this way in song, although her passion really was through listening to me sing.

I had the pleasure of taking my friend, Greg, to her house in 2017.  Her husband had passed the year before, and she, herself, was falling ill.   We were lucky enough to visit with her and have her play while we sang for her.   Those memories are engraved in my mind.  I treasure them because it was precious time we spent together.

Sadly, my dear friend passed away shortly thereafter.  This world lost such a precious jewel the day she died.

Day One – Story

Everyone creates a story with each day. It’s our story. Sometimes it’s sad, sometimes its happy. With each choice, with each word, with each action we are crafting our story. It is our choice what we write with our lives as all our memories become our history. How do you want your story to turn out? It is your choice. You make the decisions on how your life story is being written out. Are you happy with your story? Does your story make you sad? You have the power to change your story and make it what you want. Have faith in yourself and turn yourself into the great American novel. It’s your story.

Day Two – Afraid

I have a very personal relationship with this word; afraid. You see I have been afraid all my life of various things. Not everything, mind you, but many important things. By being afraid I have lost a great love. By being afraid, I have lost a great career opportunity. And I still fight the feeling of being afraid. It can cripple me as I am sure it does that to other people as well. You see being afraid causes me to not have faith in myself or believe that I am worthy of many things in life. I causes me to pause and not take actions where I should. It is something that I fight with every day. But I know deep in my heart that I can’t let it win. I must be strong. I must have faith. I must know that God will take care of me and lead me in the right direction. I cannot let myself be afraid anymore.