Light, Love, Hope

Hurricane Matthew

Shirley Inspiration, Meditation Monday, My Story, Traveling 2

“Daddy, have you been keeping up with the storm?” I asked.

“No, not really. Why? Should I?” He replied with little concern in his voice.

“Yes! Hurricane Matthew is going to impact South Carolina. They’re saying it’s going to be like Hurricane Hugo was for us back in 1989.” I said, trying not to be an alarmist, but hoping he’d see the seriousness of this approaching storm!

“I haven’t really been watching it. I just have a peace about it, and I don’t think it will be that bad.” He said, in the calmest tone ever.

This was a conversation I had with my daddy two days prior to Hurricane Matthew pounding South Carolina’s coast. While we’re not right on the coast, I knew from the news reports that we would be affected in our area.

Taking a moment to reflect back on Hurricane Hugo, I remember feeling nervous and anxious in 1989 with the threat of a hurricane approaching. We boarded windows on our blue house and rode it out that night. At the time, we lived in a block house, so we did not fear damage to our structure so much. With windows boarded, we prayed no trees would fall on the roof as we tried to steal a few hours of sleep. We awoke to downed trees, but we were spared a huge amount of damage, unlike others in our area. I remember doing yard clean up work when one of my former classmates drove up in our yard. My face flushed with embarrassment as they giggled at me, but without lights or water, there was no way to shower. I tried the best I could to look presentable, but there was no denying my less than perfect appearance with hair tossed around and no makeup.

Fast forward 27 years that really sailed by way too fast for my liking, and the same nervousness and anxiousness resurfaced as Hurricane Matthew changed course. I knew then, without a shadow of a doubt, we would feel the affects of this hurricane further inland.

Bracing ourselves for the worst, we filled all of our vehicles with gas just in case we needed to join the mass of others evacuating. We consulted with some of our horse friends in the area, but they thought our horses would be fine in our pasture instead of finding a facility elsewhere to house them until the threat of the storm was over. As the rain started, we were under the shelter tagging our horses with ribbons braided in their manes bearing our names and phone numbers just in case our fence got damaged in the storm and our horses got out. Tears filled my eyes at the thought, but I forced them back so as not to upset my children who were helping us.

Arming ourselves with food, water, flashlights, and ensuring the RV was positioned out of harm’s way, we prayed as Hurricane Matthew drew nearer. Sleep was scarce as the wind and rain slowly began tapping on our windows at first, then became more forceful as it beat angrily on the side of the house and roof so strongly at certain points we felt it would surely burst right through our wooden structure. Thoughts of the big bad wolf from my childhood days ran through my mind as the wind threatened to huff, and puff, and blow my little white house in the country down completely. I forced those thoughts right out of my head and began praying to God instead! As I tiptoed down the hall in the wee morning hours and began to peer out of the living room window, I prayed over the two trees way too close to the front of my house for my liking at that point in time. When once I admired those tall, strong trees, they now became a threat to me as if one fell with the force of the wind, I feared it would land directly on my living room and garage. More upsetting was the thought of the other falling across my children’s rooms. They swirled and swayed back and forth, and at other times looked like someone was shaking them viciously as they were tossed to and fro by the relentless wind. I had a long conversation with God concerning those rather large trees and pleaded with Him for protection over our family. Suddenly, our lights began to flicker, then went completely out leaving us in utter darkness alone with the big bad wolf still beating on our door with this feeling of impending doom deep inside of us.

When daylight began to break through leaving the night sky and my fears behind, I ventured outside to check on the horses. Tears stung my eyes as I found them huddled together under their shelter. The one pony they always seem to leave out in the rain was tucked under the shelter, too. It was as if the other horses had compassion and said, “Okay, little one, you can join us. We do love you, even if we don’t always show it.”

As the rain and wind subsided, we gathered our belongings and headed to the RV. We realized during the previous ice storms we’ve had that our area will be one of the very last with power restored, unfortunately. Having just purchased this Class A Fleetwood Flair RV in March, I whispered prayers of thanks to God for us making the right decision with this purchase! I’ll never forget how we went back and forth until we finally decided it would be a wise move, and this past weekend certainly proved that to be true. We were able to fire up the generator and live in comfort for short periods of time, in an effort to conserve gas. With the water tank completely full and LP gas on board, we were able to have hot showers, too!

Being without power forced us to put down our cell phones more since battery life was so precious, it seemed. Since we were not able to watch television, we were outside together watching our horses graze while my youngest daughter rode her bike. While it seems like a hardship, it makes you spend time with your family that you really should be spending with them any way! I think even after the storm and this timely reminder, we should make more of an effort to put down our phones and turn off our televisions to really get to know our family members again!

When we ventured out in our neighborhood, it didn’t take long for us to realize why we were still without power.

hurricane-matthew

As we drove cautiously around the curve, it almost seemed like more trees were down than standing! Sadly, as we approached a group of homes, we noticed a tall pine tree uprooted and laying over on a house.

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Transformers were snatched from the ground and power lines from their poles.

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And there stood my sweet friend in her yard. We stopped immediately when we recognized her and asked if everyone was okay. She replied that they were, all things considered. She had tarps inside to protect her belongings, but that was all they could do at that point. We were just thankful to hear that no one got hurt and no lives were lost when the tree fell on their house.

After leaving my friend’s house, I thought of another dear friend I hadn’t heard from. With urgency in my voice, I asked my husband to drive to our friend’s house. Night was falling again by the time we found the driveway. We pulled in and searched for their vehicles, but none could be found. We were hopeful that they evacuated and were in a safer area. As we drove home, I whispered a silent prayer for their safety! And … thankfully, the very next day, they sent us a message that all was well. They were without power, and their phones were not charged to reach out to anyone until that point in time. They assured us that we were the first ones they notified of their safety. Oh, thank God for answered prayer! Our friends were safe!

As far as my parents, they never left their house the entire time … and, miraculously, they never lost power! While my dad didn’t get a bit of sleep Friday night into Saturday morning, my mother slept right through the entire thing.

There’s just something about having peace in the mist of the storm. And, there’s something, also, to be said for heeding the warnings and preparing in advance “just in case.”

We’re thankful for another day, and we pray our electricity will be restored soon. As we wait, we realize how fortunate we are in only having a few downed trees in the back of our property. How fortunate we have been! Thank you, God. Sadly, others in our area, especially along the coast, weren’t so lucky.

There is a lesson to be learned by Hurricane Matthew. All week long at work, we had The Weather Channel going as we watched as they tracked this storm. As it approached landfall, it shifted and came further inland than first anticipated. Governor Nikki Haley was begging and pleading with fellow South Carolinians to evacuate and flee their homes. People rushed to the grocery stores to stock up on supplies as Hurricane Matthew drew nearer.

What if we all saw the urgency in getting our hearts and lives right with God before He comes back? What if we watched, prayed, and prepared for the second coming of the Lord like all who had their eyes glued to the news watching the weather? What if we got down on our knees and begged God for forgiveness and hid scriptures away in our hearts? Then we could be like my father with peace in our hearts not fearing what was to come.

It’s definitely something to ponder.

History In The Making

Shirley Inspiration, National Lighthouse Day!, Traveling 0

Technology is a wonderful thing, and Saturday night, we watched history in the making thanks to how far we’ve advanced with technology in this day and age.

If you’ve been a fan of this page for long, you know of our love for the Morris Island Lighthouse. Engineers got together with the help of SCE&G to delight all of the lovers of this lighthouse. By pressing a button on their cell phone, this lighthouse lit up once again after being out of commission for many, many years. Solar panels were placed on the lighthouse along with batteries to make this moment in history one we shall never forget as long as we live.

It has long been a dream of mine to walk the wrought iron steps of this magnificent lighthouse. While that dream may not become a reality any time in the near future, I still hold on to it like so many others in attendance that night.

history-in-the-making

A rather large crowd gathered along the sandy shores to share in this moment in time. A ceremony was held with various speakers from the Save The Light organization, to the mayor, as well as a grandmother who donated $250,000 in memory of her granddaughter who passed away in 2014 as a result of an automobile accident. With music playing, the crowd took pictures, enjoyed a slice of cake celebrating the 140th birthday of the Morris Island Lighthouse, and waited anxiously for this beacon of light to come to life at exactly 7:30 p.m. Saturday night. Sitting on the large rocks lining the beach with the waves crashing below our feet, we stared out across the ocean as a tiny light appeared at first and slowly turned toward us to reveal a beam of light that cut through the darkness. As this beacon of light illuminated the night sky, we watched in amazement and wonder completely thrilled to be a part of this moment in history!

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Sadly, the lighthouse only remained lit by solar power for four hours Saturday night. That is the maximum allotted time the coast guard could give to this organization. When we realized earlier in the week that it would not remain lit, we knew we had to do everything within our power to ensure we were among the crowd gathered for this event. My heart danced as I watched the light from this tall tower of hope.

Among those in attendance were a couple who got married at the top of the lighthouse in the 1980s. They drove from Wilmington, North Carolina to be there for the lighting. As I listened to the speaker talk of how they walked the steps and got married at the very top, I couldn’t help but wonder what the pictures must’ve looked like from back then. Oh how I wish I could have seen a glimpse into the lighthouse when the steps were in much better shape to allow climbing to the very top. I can only image the breathtaking view of the island from up there!

My mind quickly shifted to the lady before me in the wheelchair. With her white hair blowing with the slight breeze coming off of the ocean, the gentleman attempted to push her through the white sand that seemed to match her hair. I was extremely impressed when the gentleman finally spoke and said she was 95 years old. It was her heart’s desire to be present for this event, and she was well pleased as evident by the smile stretched across her thin, pale lips.

How meaningful this night was for so many of us, and it is one I’ll never forget. It provided hope for all that one day this lighthouse will be preserved and restored completely.

history-in-the-making2

Hats, Scarves, and Girly Things

Shirley Inspiration, We Care Wednesdays, Women's Health 0

Today I did something I’ve never done before. I ordered hats, scarves, and girly things online. This wasn’t just an ordinary order, though. It was an order of love.

My mother-in-law has gone for her port to be put in today. With that comes the acknowledgement and acceptance that she will ultimately lose her hair.

Easing onto the couch Sunday afternoon, she failed to find a comfortable position. We propped her up with pillows in an effort to help. Raising the foot rest on that end of the couch seemed to relieve some of the pressure. She sat in a reclining position trying to force a smile as she looked at us trying to hold a conversation about anything but what she was facing. Finally, she turned to me and said, “I do not want to lose my hair.” She paused for a moment before she continued, “I am too proud to walk around like that. I want a wig, something to cover my head, maybe even a scarf.”

And her wish was my command.

I know once treatment begins, she will gradually lose her hair within two weeks. Wanting her to have something prior to losing her hair, I found a site today called TLC, which specializes in products for women that are facing hair loss due to chemotherapy treatment.

I spent a good bit of time on the website as I looked through every type of wig and hair accessory you can imagine. Having taken a picture of my mother-in-law Sunday, I held it up to the computer to match her hair style and color as closely as possible. While I know it will be an adjustment, at least she can rest in the knowledge that she will have her items in two to three business days, as I “rushed” the order. She will have these items in time to play with them and see what better suits her before she loses her hair. And I’ll admit, once pressing “Submit Order,” tears stung my eyes as the reality of the situation was before me, and this made it more “real” some how.

Knowing women like a variety, I purchased a wig, hat, scarf, turban, and even what they call an “add-a-bang.” This item is to be worn with hats, scarves, and turbans where it will look like you have some peek-a-boo bangs in the front. They will come full enough where she can choose to show the entire bang, or she can have them thinned to her liking. I tried to match the color as close as possible, and I will keep my fingers crossed that she’ll like and actually use these items when I give them to her.

At a time like this, we focus so much on how helpless we feel. My husband struggles with this. He is a Mr. Fix-It, but there is no way that he can possibly fix this. Unfortunately, this is the hand of cards she was dealt, and she has no choice but to take those cards and play the game with WINNING ultimately the goal. Beat this thing! Kick cancer’s back-side! That is what we all hope to see in her future.

There’s so much you can’t do … for example, you can’t wave a magic wand and make this go away. You can’t wish it or will it away. No matter how angry you get, you cannot change the fact that she has this rare form of cancer in her intestines and abdominal area. As much as we say we hate this, it does not make it go away. It’s here, and all we can do is help her and love her through this.

I told my husband this weekend to stop focusing on what he CAN’T do. Shift your focus to what you CAN do!

“You do not possess the power to heal your mother,” I told him. If we possessed that kind of power, no one would ever suffer or go through anything ever again. We’d simply reach out and touch our mothers, fathers, and other family members to heal them from the tops of their heads to the soles of their feet. Ah, but that is not our place, and we do not possess those powers. Father God does, though, and so we pray with all our might for our family and friends. We know God hears our prayers, and we hope it will be His will to heal them on this earth.

Since we are not guaranteed a miracle or a healing touch from God, what we CAN do is support her, love her, and be there for her. We can take her food we fix in hopes that she will have an appetite and feel like eating it. We can go around looking for comfort items she may need, and we can place orders like the one I placed earlier today.

Walking around moping about it will NOT change what she is going through. She’s facing one of the biggest battles of her life. But, she is not alone. She has all of us and GOD on her side.

My husband started taking a little trip down Guilt Lane, which also does no good at all. Shortly after her diagnosis, he started thinking of all the missed birthdays and occasions when he should have remembered to call or visit but didn’t. Beating oneself up will NOT change what she is facing, though. I told him to go easy on himself. He can’t go back and change the past, but what he can do from this day forward is spend quality time with his mom when he is able and when she feels up to it.

Human beings are so quick to jump on the Pity Train and go right on down Guilt Lane. We beat ourselves up so badly with all the “shoulda, coulda, wouldas” we come up with. It is all non productive!

Focus on what you CAN do at this stage of the game. Take back your power and stand tall. She needs us to be strong when she is feeling weak.

And so we move ahead, unsure of what the future holds … but having complete faith in the One who holds the future.

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The Un-Churched

Shirley Inspiration, My Story 0

I’m what’s known now as “The Un-Churched.” You know the kind. They grew up in the church or went to church every time the doors were open once-upon-a-time. Now, however, they no longer darken the door of the church – any church.

People love to get into the bashing game with people like myself. The ones that are still currently going to church on a regular basis look down upon people like me that choose not to go to church. Hmmm, that’s a bit … judgmental … for church-goers, isn’t it?

Don’t mind me. I’m just calling it like I see it.

You see, I was once very active in the church. My dad was the clerk of the church when I was just a little thing growing up. We were at church every time the doors were open, and I grew up being an active part of the church.

When I became an adult, I could choose whether to attend church or not. No longer feeling “forced” by my parents, I still chose to go to church. I changed from the church I attended as a child, and my parents also stopped going to church. What in the world would cause such a thing for dedicated church-going individuals to just suddenly … stop … going to church?

Hurt. That’s what.

Now, I know you’re probably just waiting for the opportunity to launch a quote at me. Aren’t you? The one that specifically talks about how if being hurt by the church causes you to stop going, then your faith was in people and not in God. Ah, but I beg to differ.

Being hurt by people in the church was exactly why my family and I stopped going. I no longer wished to attend church with “holier-than-thou” so called Christians that inflicted such hurt upon my family and I. From preacher’s wives intentionally ignoring me, yet speaking to everyone else in my family … to offering to serve in the choir when attendance was down just to have their nose turned up at me … to various other things that happened. There were others that talked about my family and I even when we were holding a fundraiser for a little girl in my daughter’s 6th grade class many years ago that was diagnosed with cancer. As our hands were busy working to help this little girl and her family, other people in the church were busy wagging their tongues about us.

I’m sorry, but this is NOT the type of church I wish to attend.

What ever happened to including people? Even those that are different from you?

What happened to making people feel welcome and LOVING them just as Christ would have?

And what is this “What would Jesus do?” crap? It’s more than just wearing the bracelet, people! You have to actually stop and ask yourself, “Would Jesus have snubbed this person as you just did?” As a matter of fact, I can assure you, HE WOULD NOT!

I know the bible talks about surrounding yourself with fellow believers and coming together to worship. That’s wonderful, but I choose not to attend church with people like the ones I’ve mentioned above.

More hurt comes from the church!

I’m not saying that ALL church-goers are bad. Certainly, they are not. But there are a few “bad apples” in every bunch that spoil it for everyone else. Those “bad apples” are often times in positions like the preacher’s wife I spoke about or someone in “charge” of the children’s ministry or even someone on the “welcoming committee” being anything but welcoming!

Why don’t we shift our focus off of PEOPLE and back on GOD where it belongs!

I’m talking about taking our relationship with God more serious than just who steps foot into the church building each Sunday morning. As a matter of fact, I get more out of online ministries or watching the sermons on church than I do sitting elbow to elbow with someone I know acts a certain way Monday through Saturday and yet is completely different come Sunday morning.

I’d rather worship God on the back of my horse out in the beautiful countryside. I want a REAL relationship with Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior. Yes, even if I never grace the steps of the church again.

And you know what? My church attendance or lack thereof will NOT keep me out of heaven. Nope. It won’t! Regardless of what ones may say, as long as my heart is right with God, I will be welcomed into Heaven when the Lord calls me home. Why? Because I’ve asked Him to come into my heart, forgive me of my sins, and I have chosen to walk with Him.

News flash!

Your church attendance will NOT guarantee you a place in Heaven. Your mansion in Heaven will NOT be given to you due to sitting in that church pew. Someone with the hardest of hearts could come sit right in your very place, and they won’t make it into Heaven any more than you will UNLESS your heart is right with God.

No one … absolutely NO ONE … on the face of this earth knows where you truly stand with God. And they shouldn’t. That’s between YOU and The Master!

So with what being said, who are you, or anyone else for that matter, to sit in judgment of “the un-churched?” It simply is NOT your place. You don’t know the person’s heart. You don’t know what may be going on in their lives.

An example is this – my in-laws are going through a really hard time right now. My mother-in-law has been diagnosed with a rare form of cancer and is unable to attend church. She’s in a lot of pain that prevents her to even sit or lay comfortably. And you know what? NO ONE in her “church family” has come to see her or offered to bring food of any kind. We’re from the South where that’s what we do. When someone dies, we bring food. If someone is hurt in an accident, we bring food. If someone has a cold or pneumonia, we bring food. The South is all about their comfort food, and what better time to offer your support to the family than when you KNOW someone in the family is dealing with something BIG. Yet, no one from my mother-in-law’s church has brought food. My mother-in-law is on the prayer list at her church – a church she has gone to for MANY, MANY years! And yet, just today when I visited her, she mentioned her disappointment … and yes, hurt … over her “church family” not lifting one finger when she’s in the shape she is in.

Ah, that is exactly the hurt I’m talking about that will cause people to shy away from the church. Do you see what I mean?

As my mother-in-law tries to adjust her position to get comfortable any way she possibly can, she remembers ALL the meetings she attended, the family times she cut short just to “serve” at the church … and for what? When they need support, love, and encouragement from their church family … they are in a dry desert with the dust and tumble weeds rolling down the parched earth.

So, think again before you judge “the un-churched.” But, do more. Take this message and be determined NOT to have things turn out like this in YOUR church. Be the one that reaches out even if you’re the only one that does. Be the example of Jesus that everyone needs to see reaching out, loving, caring for, and helping those in need.

A little less judgment and more love is what this world needs – for the churched (as my in-laws have been for years) and yes, even the un-churched.

Birthdays Are Special

Shirley A New Year - A New You!, Inspiration, My Story 0

As we get older, people sometimes grumble when their birthday rolls around. Not me, though! I realize that birthdays are special. Each and every birthday! From the days of youth celebrating with birthday parties, cake, ice cream … to the later years when gray starts creeping into your hair. Each and every birthday is special.

Think on that for a minute.

There are some that are not blessed to make it to your current age – or mine, for that matter.

Some lives are taken too soon, and we are left with a million questions as to, “Why …”

So when your birthday rolls around, take time to CELEBRATE! No matter what age you will be turning, realize that it is a gift from God above.

Yesterday, we celebrated my daughter’s 12th birthday. My, oh my, where has the time gone? It seems like just yesterday I was cradling my six pound three ounce baby girl in my arms. And bam! Over night, she’s grown into this beautiful little girl with the longest legs on her slender frame. Bouncing around with a huge smile on her face, blond curls bouncing up and down right along with her.

I watched as my miracle baby has gone through many stages in her life. She’s into riding horses, playing in the mud doing “tom boy” things while also enjoying twirling around in the dressing room trying on frilly dresses. She is a well rounded individual, for sure! Just this week I had the pleasure of taking her shopping for new clothes. I watched as she looked at herself in the mirror, smiled, turned from side to side, and then twirled around so her dress would flair outward. She’d giggle and do it all over again. We came home with TWO dresses, among other clothes in our shopping bags. I had to chuckle as she exclaimed with a wide smile, “This does NOT mean I’m a girly girl. I’m still a tom boy!”

Last night, we made cotton candy while she videoed the entire thing. It thrilled my heart to see her excitement using her new cotton candy maker. She and her sister made blue, purple, and even pink cotton candy. Oh, what a sugar high!

That was great fun!

I went to bed last night with a smile on my face. My daughter had a great birthday, and that made me feel so good.

This morning when I awoke, I smiled and thanked God for the gift of another day. Today I turned 45 years old. It is so hard to believe because I do NOT feel “this” old at all. I still feel like a teenager, although the two gray hairs that popped up in the crown of my head are trying to say otherwise! Even still, I feel blessed by the gray hair because it means I’ve lived and loved well. What’s more is that God has given me this gift of another birthday to celebrate with my family. I get to enjoy being surrounded by my family wishing me well and sharing their love with me. I appreciate this gift more than words could ever say. I’m here on this earth still living and loving. I have the privilege of a road trip in our RV this weekend with my family. With plans in place, we will set out with great excitement as we anticipate arriving at our destination to relax and unwind on this, our birthday weekend.

With all sincerity, I thank God that I have reached 45 years of age. I ask God to bless me with many more birthdays. I’ve prayed to God for a while now asking Him to please allow me to be a very old woman rocking my great-great grandchildren on my front porch.

God willing … I shall do just that!

Enjoy your day – no matter how old you are! Realize it is a true blessing!

Now, get out there and make memories!

I Fancy A Fairy Tale

Loyal

Shirley Five Minute Fridays, God Is Close To The Broken Hearted 2

It’s easy to be loyal when you’re in someone’s presence. The question is, are you loyal to people when you are not with them?

I’m not just talking about the wandering, lustful eye. If you’re married or in a committed relationship, this shouldn’t be happening at all anyway!

What I’m specifically speaking of today is loyalty to people in the way you speak about them when you’re not in their presence.

Sadly, an individual lost their battle with depression and chose to end their life last Monday. This individual used to work at my place of employment. As tragic as the situation already was, I couldn’t help but overhear people chattering away about their speculations of what happened leading up to him taking his own life. This weighed heavily on my heart the entire week.

Some of the people were friends of the individual, and it saddened me greatly that they seemed to be enthralled in the details each were passing around.

“Did you hear …”

“Well, I heard …”

It took me back 15 years ago to when we lost my sister. She was a very private person, and it pained me greatly thinking of how she was now the “talk of the town” back then. She never liked the attention being on herself at all, and back then, people were sharing and exchanging awful stories of rumors they’d heard back and forth. How do I know? Because one rather heartless individual asked me point blank questions surrounding my sister’s death. I’ll never forget this as I had just started a new job where I hoped no one had knowledge of this tragic event in my family’s lives. I wanted to go some place to start fresh without anyone looking at me with “that” look and whispering about my sister or my family. That dream was short lived as I sat in my office with tears filling my eyes as this individual poked and prodded with their questions.

Here’s a word of advice: No matter the circumstances of a person’s death, do NOT ask what happened. This is especially important if the death is a result of a suicide. Do NOT, under ANY circumstances, ask how the person did it, what they used, who found them, what they looked like, etc. You will be making the family member re-live this horrible event in their life. Also, never EVER say, “They must have really wanted to die” as another cold person said to me. Likewise, don’t look at the grieving family with their hearts shattered and say, “Sorry about your sister, but life goes on.” I had this happen to me AT the funeral home the night of my sister’s visitation. I became a blubbering mess as I looked this unsympathetic person in the eyes and said, “I don’t see HOW without my sister!” If you don’t know what to say, let me offer the following suggestions: “May God comfort and provide peace” or “Thinking of you in this very difficult time” or even “Keeping your family uplifted in prayer.” Think of how YOU would want to be approached and what you would want to be said to you during your time of grief.

Have a heart when dealing with grieving people.

And, be loyal to the ones that have passed on.

Saved

Shirley Inspiration 2

During this first week of school, my daughter has enjoyed sporting around in our new-to-us Volvo C70 convertible. It’s Celestial Blue Metallic, and if I must say, it is a sweet ride!

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Tuesday afternoon, I picked my daughter up from school and proceeded down the road to meet my oldest daughter at the grocery store. My youngest daughter and I talked for a bit on our drive, then enjoyed listening to the soft music playing on the radio. As a black SUV approached, I was feeling content with life. Everything was right in my world at that moment in time.

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All of a sudden, this SUV started coming into my lane! We were about to get hit head-on!

My immediate reaction was to get out of their way! With my right hand gripping the bottom of the steering wheel, I snatched the wheel to the right to get us out of the SUV’s path. When I did, the car went too close to the edge of the road. Fearing that we were going to go off the side of the road, I snatched the wheel to the left. My daughter looked up after feeling the car shifting directions and said in a very weak voice, “Mama …”

As her voice trailed off, it was as if the hand of God reached down and took the wheel. I’m not copying the famous Country song when I tell you this either. Our car immediately veered to the right, straightened up, and we were out of harm’s way within mere seconds.

I did not even hesitate when the car straightened up. I started thanking God for protecting us from an accident! I know without a doubt that GOD saved my daughter and I that day.

Trying not to show my anxiety, I continued thanking God and proceeded on to the grocery store.

When I walked in, trying to hide my legs which felt more like limp noodles, my oldest daughter took one look at my face. Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open as she asked, “What’s wrong?” I told her what just happened and how God protected us. Then we started discussing the grocery items we needed.

I was not making light of what happened by only focusing on it for a moment. I was intentionally trying not to upset my daughters with the details of what could have been.

Later that evening, I’ll admit that I had flash backs of an earlier accident I had when I was 18 years old. I was driving an older Volkswagen at that time, and when the tire blew out, the vehicle went to the right, left, then right again as we went into a full fishtail. Losing control on the wet pavement, our top heavy Volkswagen went airborne where we flipped six times, landing in the middle of a field. God saved my sister and I at that time, too. Without a doubt! We walked away with me having a fractured vertebrae in my lower back, and my sister with scrapes and bruises. I thank God for sparing our lives back then, too! He saved us!

No one knows the hour we will be called home. Just like on that Summer day when I was just 18 years old and fast forward 26 years to this week when we had a near miss, it can all happen in a split second. We didn’t plan on that accident 26 years ago, and we certainly didn’t plan on this close call this week either. As my grandma used to say, “We need to make sure we’re prayed up, packed up, and ready to go.”

Friend, do you know Him? Have you asked Jesus to come into your heart and life? If you haven’t please, I encourage you, do so today! In the blink of an eye, your entire world can change. Give your heart to Jesus today!

The Love Center

Shirley Food For Thought 0

Yesterday, my family and I took a road trip. It was the day before school started back, and we wanted to do something fun. So, a road trip it was!

After a day of sightseeing and good food, we headed back home. With the radio turned up listening to our favorite tunes and the vast skies before us, we enjoyed the scenery and places we’ve never been before.

Singing along with the radio, a sign on the roadside caught my attention. I looked over to see The Love Center; a church on the country road leading home.

I pondered the sign and how appropriate it was. The Love Center … and then I thought, “Love should be at the center of all we do.”

Interesting, isn’t it?

That one little sign up in the sky with a white border, black lettering, and a red heart sent me into deep thought.

And you know what?

At the very center, right there in the core of love, is Christ. We love because He first loved us!

Center

Lift

Shirley Choose Joy!, Five Minute Fridays 4

Dirty Dancing has to be one of the best movies ever made. I’m not just saying that because of Patrick Swayze’s good looks and the way he could move. He was an outstanding actor, and he could also sing! My husband was surprised to learn that the voice on one of my favorite songs was none other than Patrick Swayze in “She’s Like The Wind.” This song was in the movie and part of the soundtrack for Dirty Dancing.

A scene that stands out to me is the one where Johnny lifts Baby out of the water while they are practicing for their big, upcoming performance. There was such joy on Baby’s face when she stretched out her arms, tilted her head slightly, and pointed her toes as Johnny held her in the air during the lift. I have seen a similar smile form on the lips of my children as my husband lifted them numerous times over the years in play.

Memories.

I enjoy when the simplest of things sends the memories flooding into my mind.

Just recently when we were playing in the pool, I encouraged my husband to lift my daughter like this once more. While one daughter, now 19 years old, seems to have lost interest in the pool, our other daughter loves swimming around like a mermaid. She is approaching 12 years old much too fast for our liking, and so we realize we must seize every single moment we can with her. We take whatever opportunity we can now to have fun, be silly, and just laugh together! We are making memories in the process that, we hope, she will hold on tight to for the rest of her life.

Next weekend, we hope to tie the two together.

There is a Dirty Dancing Festival being held in North Carolina at Lake Lure, where the movie was filmed!

There, they will even have a lift in the lake competition! How fun is that?! While I doubt my husband and daughter will compete, it will be so much fun just to SEE!

There has been mixed reviews on the festival, but I figure you can’t go wrong with the lake and the mountains as the backdrop. If, for some reason, the festival doesn’t hold our interest, I’m sure we can find fun nearby!

Summer is winding down, schools will all be back in session, but we don’t want the fun and thrill to end.

And … it doesn’t have to.

We can carry the same feeling of joy in our hearts all year. Some times you may have to be intentional about it, especially when things come at you in life as they sometimes will.

I can tell you this, though. You haven’t known true joy until you’ve invited Christ into your life. No matter what you’re facing, what you’ve gone through in the past, or what you feel like you’ve done that can’t possibly be forgiven. Christ will replace all of those feelings of worthlessness, if you only turn to Him. When you ask Jesus into your heart and turn from your sin, He will lift you up out of the pit of despair you’ve been living in. There will not be any more condemnation, as Christ will forgive you and restore you. The feelings of worthlessness will be replaced once you realize how worthy you are in Christ. He died on the cross to forgive you of your sins and give you the gift of eternal life through Him.

Friend, won’t you turn to Him?

Allow Him to lift you up out of the ashes so you can have the joy of the Lord shown on your face!

Hidden

Shirley Food For Thought, Men Struggling But Recovering 0

When I logged into Facebook last Thursday, “trending” stories were popping up about the Osborne family. Apparently, Ozzy Osborne has been having an affair, and his wife, Sharon, has spoken out on her talk show about his sex addiction.

As I was reading through things people posted regarding this story, a young lady asked a few questions about sex addiction.

Is it real?

What happens when someone goes for sex addiction counseling?

Is there hope?

How is the family affected?

Can they make it through this ordeal without divorcing?

As I have a family member that has gone through this, I’d like to answer some of those questions that are swirling around in a lot of people’s minds right now.

While there is so much hurt and betrayal that goes along with a sexual addiction, it is possible for the family to stand behind the person going through it that is seeking help. It is a long process to finally seeing the light at the end of the dark and dreary tunnel, though. The hurt will never truly “go away” as some people would like for it to. Instead, it remains. There are questions as to what other lies there are out there that this person hasn’t owned up to yet or that haven’t yet been uncovered.

Trust is definitely a factor here. After someone lies, deceives, and betrays you, there is a LOT of work that person has to do in order to have trust restored in your marriage or relationship.

In the case with my family, we were told that the sexual addiction was in the form of pornography. Videos, pictures, magazines, etc. all played a part in this addiction, yet they claim it did not go any further. They claim they did not have any affairs, nor did they seek out prostitutes, etc. as a lot of wives and girlfriends fear when the addiction comes to light. I pray this is true that their sexual addiction did not go that far before they sought help.

Here is a very important point I’d like to make. The sins that you think you can keep hidden will not remain a secret. EVERYTHING you do in darkness will eventually come out in the light. At some point or another, your dirty little secret will be revealed, whether you like it or not.

Another thing I’d like to point out is that the person doing this is completely selfish and self absorbed. They think only of their sexual gratification and not of their spouse at all. If the roles were reversed, though, they would not tolerate nor accept your betrayal of them, yet they want you to accept and come to terms with what they’ve done to you.

Boy, is that not a hard pill to swallow?

Yes, it is!

You’re expected to forgive and try to patch things up in the marriage when you were faithful and true, yet they were not.

For me, pornography is different than having an actual affair with a person or multiple people. While I could try to recover from a pornography addiction, I am not so sure I could recover from an actual physical affair. The thought would always be in the back of my mind that if they did it once (or ten times) previously, they could “relapse” and do it all over again. So no matter where you are in your recovery after the damage that has been done to your relationship, it would magnify the hurt a million times over!

Don’t get me wrong, I would not like my husband “getting off” to pornographic images when he should be interested in ONLY me. But, if I had to choose which I’d “rather” have him do, that would be the one; certainly not having an affair or multiple affairs. They both hurt, though, and erode the self esteem, self worth, and self confidence of the spouse. It’s hard to come to terms with the fact that someone else was the object of his sexual thoughts and brought him pleasure.

The important thing here, too, is honesty. Don’t start to “come clean” with your spouse only to leave details out that you reveal later. It will only prolong the agony and the recovery process, throwing your spouse back into the initial phase of shock, disbelief, anger, and extreme heartache all over again.

Is it worth it? A few minutes of self pleasure? When in those few minutes, you’re crushing the life out of the one you claim to love!

Can you recover from this? Yes, but it does not happen over night for either of you. Also, you cannot just focus on yourself, as you did before. You have to consider your spouse who you hurt DEEPLY! You cannot skip merrily on your way now that your “secret” is out and you no longer have to try to cover your tracks. That may seem like a relief to you, but now the entire weight of the world has come crashing down on your spouse. You BOTH need to recover. It can’t just be about YOU! She is hurting far more than you will ever know or be able to fully grasp! And it’s all because of your sexual addiction.

Although the hurt is great after discovering the pornography addiction, it would be far worse to discover an affair. There are couples that weigh the options and realize even after an affair that they need to stay together and try to make it work. Whether they do it for the kids, for financial reasons, or because they truly do love each other despite the straying spouse, it is a long process to recovery.

When one goes for sexual addiction counseling, they go for individual sessions with a counselor as they try to uncover what lead to the sexual addiction in the first place. Maybe they had a troubled childhood, the parents weren’t there a good bit of the time for support, or the child felt neglected so they turned to pornography or self pleasure as a way to cope. There could have even been trauma in the person’s life that lead to this lifestyle. It is the counselor’s job to uncover the true reasons that lead to the addiction in the first place.

After the counselor feels your spouse has been making progress in individual sessions, they move on to group sessions. The only thing that concerns me here is that others in the group that are worse off than your spouse may give them ideas on things they haven’t thought of or haven’t tried yet. This is extremely dangerous and only hinders the progress made previously.

Honestly, I think the only true way to recover from this or any addiction is to turn to God. Confess your hidden sins, and TURN from them! All of them. You can’t give up a few things and hold on to other sins that contributed or went hand in hand with your addiction. Put your trust in God to see you through this. Marriage can be a beautiful thing once all things hidden have been revealed and healed by God above. It takes time. But, you can save your marriage with God’s help.

One thing that a sexual addiction does is take away that which the person truly wants most; closeness with their spouse. It erodes the relationship and puts a huge wedge between you and your spouse. Yet, with the sexual addiction out in the open and your spouse in recovery, you two can reconnect eventually and have a deeper bond than you ever thought possible before. Once that barrier is gone and the walls of division have been brought down, you and your spouse can begin rebuilding a love together where you two come to each other to have all of your needs met. God intended for marriage and sex within the marriage relationship to be a beautiful union of two souls. Two becoming one! Don’t taint it or tarnish it. Keep the marriage bed sacred. Your desires should only be met and fulfilled by your spouse. Don’t go outside of your marriage and break your vows by lusting after others whether it’s with pictures, videos, a strip club, a person walking down the street, someone at your job, an online dating site, etc. It is so much easier to be true and faithful to your spouse than it is to tear down your marriage and your spouse with your bare hands with betrayal such as this.

Can you recover – YES! Can you rebuilt trust in your marriage – YES! Can you and your spouse have a close bond like never before – YES! Can you go to only your spouse for all of your needs, especially sexual – YES!!!

It is possible to recover and rebuild trust. It is possible to be faithful and true with only eyes for your spouse! It is possible to have a love and closeness better than you ever imagined in this life.

No more secrets.

No more lies.

No more betrayal.

Just you and your spouse as God intended.

I encourage you to seek help if you or your loved ones are entangled in a web of lies, deceit, and betrayal. Get to the bottom of why so God can heal you and your marriage.

Your Perfect Day

Shirley 21 Days of Journaling in July, My Story, Restaurant Reviews 1

How would you describe your perfect day?

For me, any time spent with my family is perfect in my eyes. Whether we’re going on an adventure in the RV, or lounging around the house watching movies … if I’m with my family, I’m extremely happy and content!

This weekend has been perfect in my eyes.

I love exploring places we’ve never been before. Restaurants are no different. While we have our “favorites,” it is nice to try new places. Friday after work, I was mindlessly scrolling through Facebook when an article caught my eye. It was about the oldest restaurant in Columbia. Three generations have owned and operated it, with the current ones being the great grandchildren. It was impressive enough for me to gather my family in the car and head that direction for a nice meal. And, it did NOT disappoint either! Villa Tronco was a quaint little restaurant in downtown Columbia that I’d never heard of before reading the article. I can assure you that after Friday’s Italian meal, we will definitely be going back. We also recommend this place to any one visiting in our area. The food was so good that my youngest daughter actually wanted to lick the plate clean! I didn’t let her, mind you, because we do have manners. HA!

It’s been so hot here in the South where it is torture to ride with the top down in the convertible unless it’s later in the evening. As we left the restaurant, I put the top down on my Volvo and enjoyed the ride back home with the music turned up and the wind blowing through my hair.

Saturday, we spent a great deal of time at home with my husband tending to the lawn while our horses grazed freely in our yard. Then, as the day turned into evening, we took our horses for a sunset ride. Although it threatened thunder off in the distance, the storm held off for us to ride for a good hour and a half. I did not want to leave, it was that peaceful! There was a refreshing breeze blowing, and it made for a most comfortable trail ride providing a break from the summer heat we felt earlier in the day.

Sunday was spent around the house watching movies, laughing and playing with my children, and loving on our dogs. My husband finished cutting the front of our property, which with six acres is no small task. An evening storm rolled in awakening me from my much appreciated nap I had taken earlier in the day. Another movie, a short swim in the pool for my little one after the threat of the storm subsided, and that wrapped up a perfect weekend for me!

One Day Visit

Shirley 21 Days of Journaling in July, My Story 2

If I could have a one day visit with my sister, I doubt very seriously if I’d focus on questions regarding events leading to her death. Lord knows, we’ve questioned it enough throughout these past 15 years, and honestly, we still haven’t found the answers. Yet, I wouldn’t want to waste time on things like that when it will not change a single thing. All of the answers in the world would never bring her back to us for good. Although immediately after her death, we searched high and low, seeking people out to question so we could gain any insight into what happened, what caused it, why she felt she had no other options … “Why” seemed to haunt us.

No, this one day would not be an interrogation session. Instead, I would want to soak up every bit of my sister I possibly could filling each moment with memories to last a lifetime.

Growing up and even into our adult years, we just did “life” as people usually do. It never really occurred to us that we needed to be intentional about the time spent with each other. We seemed to take for granted that we’d have another evening meal with our little family all gathered together around the table. There seemed to always be an opportunity to fight over who was to wash dishes afterwards, “I did it yesterday … it’s YOUR turn …” We just got wrapped up in life. The same ole, same ole. Even as adults with our daily lunch hour spent together to break up the work day, we just seemed to take for granted that we would always have the conversation, “Little or big,” when calling the other to discuss what we felt like eating that day – something little, as in a fast food hamburger or sandwich – or something big, as in a nice sit-down meal at a restaurant.

I’d want to take the day and go to the beach with my sister, as one of my fondest memories is when I took her to Folly Beach as a young adult. No matter how much sunscreen she smeared on her fair skin, she always came back looking like a lobster. Even still, that did not stop her from getting in the salt water jumping waves. I will never forget the huge smile that formed across her lips as she all but squealed as the waves crashed against her, nearly knocking her down. I wish I had my camera at that point. Oh, what I wouldn’t give at this point to have one of those pictures of that special day together – but I have to settle for this memory itched across my brain – one I pray will remain forever due to the amount of happiness which was displayed on her face as she beamed brighter than the sun on the sandy shores.

Yes, the beach would be a must on this one day visit.

I wouldn’t want to share her with just anyone, yet I would be excited to let my parents know that a one day visit was possible for them, too! Maybe we’d all share in this reunion – although my dad has only been on a beach once in his life, and I was the one that took him there. Maybe he’d want to join us – jeans, church shoes, dress shirt, and white socks, just as he did when I took him when my daughter was a year old. He’d go just to spend time with my sister, I know he would. My mom would have to sit under an umbrella watching us as she’s not to get too much sun due to the medicine she takes. But, I bet she’d want to be there, too, smiling, looking up from her feet and the sand beneath them, to catch a glimpse of us laughing and playing together.

Pictures would be a must this time for sure. After losing her, I’ve realized the value of pictures and that you can NEVER take “too many” pictures of your family. Now that she’s been gone for 15 years, I realize I should have taken MORE pictures of her. I never considered that my memories and pictures I could hold in my hand would be all I’d have left of her … and yet the reality is a harsh one.

I’d fix her a macaroni and cheese followed by a cheesecake, as she loved them both. Maybe we’d even have a rib eye steak on the grill. I’m sure we wouldn’t spend a whole lot of time on the meal, and the dishes would definitely have to wait. No time would be wasted on those. Not on this special day. Yet, I’d want her to have some of her favorite foods during our time together. Maybe even a “Bahama Mama” or “Purple Jesus.” Yes, this seemingly quiet and shy young lady did enjoy a “cocktail” from time to time, even if she appeared innocent in front of my parents. I knew the truth.

We’d drive around in her black Firebird (before “cocktails” no doubt), as she loved that car! She was so proud and took such great care of it. Maybe we’d let her daughter drive it, as she’s now old enough to go for her learner’s permit and start driving. How cool would it be for her to drive her mother’s car?!

I’m sure she’d want to take time to get to know her 15 year old daughter now, too. Without a doubt, she’s been watching from Heaven as this little tiny baby grew into a challenging teenager. There would be a lot of catching up for them both. I wouldn’t want it to be a sad occasion, though. This one day visit needs to be filled with laughter and love. Lots of love. Because it will have to carry us over long after my sister is summoned back to the spirit world and Heaven.
Here

We’d talk for hours, although she was a quiet soul at times. Being gone 15 years, surely she’d have more to say and want to tell me all about life in Heaven. And I’d soak up every single thing she shared with me, hanging on her every word wanting to hear more!

I’d take so many pictures, she’d have flash burns! And I’d want to record her talking so I could hear her voice as many times as I’d want after she returned to her spirit form. Oh, how I wish I could hear her voice right this minute. So soft, almost a whisper at times, yet sweetly spoken words. I’d give anything to hear her speak after all this time.

After a day visit, I’d not want to give her back or let her go again. It would leave me wishing still for one more day with her … one more laugh, one more hug, one more “I love you …”

If only it was possible to have just one more day with my sister.

Pamela2

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Light, Love, Hope

Light in the Darkness Surrounded by Love with Hope for those in need.