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Light, Love, Hope

Light in the Darkness Surrounded by Love with Hope for those in need.

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When I logged into Facebook last Thursday, “trending” stories were popping up about the Osborne family.  Apparently, Ozzy Osborne has been having an affair, and his wife, Sharon, has spoken out on her talk show about his sex addiction.

As I was reading through things people posted regarding this story, a young lady asked a few questions about sex addiction.

Is it real?

What happens when someone goes for sex addiction counseling?

Is there hope?

How is the family affected?

Can they make it through this ordeal without divorcing?

As I have a family member that has gone through this, I’d like to answer some of those questions that are swirling around in a lot of people’s minds right now.

While there is so much hurt and betrayal that goes along with a sexual addiction, it is possible for the family to stand behind the person going through it that is seeking help.  It is a long process to finally seeing the light at the end of the dark and dreary tunnel, though.  The hurt will never truly “go away” as some people would like for it to.  Instead, it remains.  There are questions as to what other lies there are out there that this person hasn’t owned up to yet or that haven’t yet been uncovered.

Trust is definitely a factor here.  After someone lies, deceives, and betrays you, there is a LOT of work that person has to do in order to have trust restored in your marriage or relationship.

In the case with my family, we were told that the sexual addiction was in the form of pornography.  Videos, pictures, magazines, etc. all played a part in this addiction, yet they claim it did not go any further.  They claim they did not have any affairs, nor did they seek out prostitutes, etc. as a lot of wives and girlfriends fear when the addiction comes to light.  I pray this is true that their sexual addiction did not go that far before they sought help.

Here is a very important point I’d like to make.  The sins that you think you can keep hidden will not remain a secret.  EVERYTHING you do in darkness will eventually come out in the light.  At some point or another, your dirty little secret will be revealed, whether you like it or not.

Another thing I’d like to point out is that the person doing this is completely selfish and self absorbed.  They think only of their sexual gratification and not of their spouse at all.   If the roles were reversed, though, they would not tolerate nor accept your betrayal of them, yet they want you to accept and come to terms with what they’ve done to you.

Boy, is that not a hard pill to swallow?

Yes, it is!

You’re expected to forgive and try to patch things up in the marriage when you were faithful and true, yet they were not.

For me, pornography is different than having an actual affair with a person or multiple people.  While I could try to recover from a pornography addiction, I am not so sure I could recover from an actual physical affair.  The thought would always be in the back of my mind that if they did it once (or ten times) previously, they could “relapse” and do it all over again.  So no matter where you are in your recovery after the damage that has been done to your relationship, it would magnify the hurt a million times over!

Don’t get me wrong, I would not like my husband “getting off” to pornographic images when he should be interested in ONLY me.  But, if I had to choose which I’d “rather” have him do, that would be the one; certainly not having an affair or multiple affairs.  They both hurt, though, and erode the self esteem, self worth, and self confidence of the spouse.  It’s hard to come to terms with the fact that someone else was the object of his sexual thoughts and brought him pleasure.

The important thing here, too, is honesty.  Don’t start to “come clean” with your spouse only to leave details out that you reveal later.  It will only prolong the agony and the recovery process, throwing your spouse back into the initial phase of shock, disbelief, anger, and extreme heartache all over again.

Is it worth it?  A few minutes of self pleasure?  When in those few minutes, you’re crushing the life out of the one you claim to love!

Can you recover from this?  Yes, but it does not happen over night for either of you.  Also, you cannot just focus on yourself, as you did before.  You have to consider your spouse who you hurt DEEPLY!  You cannot skip merrily on your way now that your “secret” is out and you no longer have to try to cover your tracks.  That may seem like a relief to you, but now the entire weight of the world has come crashing down on your spouse.  You BOTH need to recover.  It can’t just be about YOU!  She is hurting far more than you will ever know or be able to fully grasp! And it’s all because of your sexual addiction.

Although the hurt is great after discovering the pornography addiction, it would be far worse to discover an affair.  There are couples that weigh the options and realize even after an affair that they need to stay together and try to make it work.  Whether they do it for the kids, for financial reasons, or because they truly do love each other despite the straying spouse, it is a long process to recovery.

When one goes for sexual addiction counseling, they  go for individual sessions with a counselor as they try to uncover what lead to the sexual addiction in the first place.  Maybe they had a troubled childhood, the parents weren’t there a good bit of the time for support, or the child felt neglected so they turned to pornography or self pleasure as a way to cope.   There could have even been trauma in the person’s life that lead to this lifestyle.  It is the counselor’s job to uncover the true reasons that lead to the addiction in the first place.

After the counselor feels your spouse has been making progress in individual sessions, they move on to group sessions.  The only thing that concerns me here is that others in the group that are worse off than your spouse may give them ideas on things they haven’t thought of or haven’t tried  yet.  This is extremely dangerous and only hinders the progress made previously.

Honestly, I think the only true way to recover from this or any addiction is to turn to God.  Confess your hidden sins, and TURN from them!   All of them.  You can’t give up a few things and hold on to other sins that contributed or went hand in hand with your addiction.  Put your trust in God to see you through this. Marriage can be a beautiful thing once all things hidden have been revealed and healed by God above.  It takes time.  But, you can save your marriage with God’s help.

One thing that a sexual addiction does is take away that which the person truly wants most; closeness with their spouse.  It erodes the relationship and puts a huge wedge between you and your spouse.  Yet, with the sexual addiction out in the open and your spouse in recovery, you two can reconnect eventually and have a deeper bond than you ever thought possible before.  Once that barrier is gone and the walls of division have been brought down, you and your spouse can begin rebuilding a love together where you two come to each other to have all of your needs met.  God intended for marriage and sex within the marriage relationship to be a beautiful union of two souls.  Two becoming one!  Don’t taint it or tarnish it.  Keep the marriage bed sacred.  Your desires should only be met and fulfilled by your spouse.  Don’t go outside of your marriage and break your vows by lusting after others whether it’s with pictures, videos, a strip club, a person walking down the street, someone at your job, an online dating site, etc.  It is so much easier to be true and faithful to your spouse than it is to tear down your marriage and your spouse with your bare hands with betrayal such as this.

Can you recover – YES!  Can you rebuilt trust in your marriage – YES!  Can you and your spouse have a close bond like never before – YES!  Can you go to only your spouse for all of your needs, especially sexual – YES!!!

It is possible to recover and rebuild trust.   It is possible to be faithful and true with only eyes for your spouse!  It is possible to have a love and closeness better than you ever imagined in this life.

No more secrets.

No more lies.

No more betrayal.

Just you and your spouse as God intended.

I encourage you to seek help if you or your loved ones are entangled in a web of lies, deceit, and betrayal.  Get to the bottom of why so God can heal you and your marriage.

Your Perfect Day

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How would you describe your perfect day?

For me, any time spent with my family is perfect in my eyes.  Whether we’re going on an adventure in the RV, or lounging around the house watching movies … if I’m with my family, I’m extremely happy and content!

This weekend has been perfect in my eyes.

I love exploring places we’ve never been before.  Restaurants are no different.  While we have our “favorites,” it is nice to try new places.  Friday after work, I was mindlessly scrolling through Facebook when an article caught my eye.  It was about the oldest restaurant in Columbia.  Three generations have owned and operated it, with the current ones being the great grandchildren.  It was impressive enough for me to gather my family in the car and head that direction for a nice meal.  And, it did NOT disappoint either!  Villa Tronco was a quaint little restaurant in downtown Columbia that I’d never heard of before reading the article.  I can assure you that after Friday’s Italian meal, we will definitely be going back.  We also recommend this place to any one visiting in our area.  The food was so good that my youngest daughter actually wanted to lick the plate clean!  I didn’t let her, mind you, because we do have manners.  HA!

It’s been so hot here in the South where it is torture to ride with the top down in the convertible unless it’s later in the evening.  As we left the restaurant, I put the top down on my Volvo and enjoyed the ride back home with the music turned up and the wind blowing through my hair.

Saturday, we spent a great deal of time at home with my husband tending to the lawn while our horses grazed freely in our yard.  Then, as the day turned into evening, we took our horses for a sunset ride.  Although it threatened thunder off in the distance, the storm held off for us to ride for a good hour and a half.  I did not want to leave, it was that peaceful!  There was a refreshing breeze blowing, and it made for a most comfortable trail ride providing a break from the summer heat we felt earlier in the day.

Sunday was spent around the house watching movies, laughing and playing with my children, and loving on our dogs.  My husband finished cutting the front of our property, which with six acres is no small task.  An evening storm rolled in awakening me from my much appreciated nap I had taken earlier in the day.  Another movie, a short swim in the pool for my little one after the threat of the storm subsided, and that wrapped up a perfect weekend for me!

A Perfect Day

 

One Day Visit

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If I could have a one day visit with my sister, I doubt very seriously if I’d focus on questions regarding events leading to her death.  Lord knows, we’ve questioned it enough throughout these past 15 years, and honestly, we still haven’t found the answers.  Yet, I wouldn’t want to waste time on things like that when it will not change a single thing.  All of the answers in the world would never bring her back to us for good.  Although immediately after her death, we searched high and low, seeking people out to question so we could gain any insight into what happened, what caused it, why she felt she had no other options … “Why” seemed to haunt us.

Bereaved Parents Month

No, this one day would not be an interrogation session.  Instead, I would want to soak up every bit of my sister I possibly could filling each moment with memories to last a lifetime.

Growing up and even into our adult years, we just did “life” as people usually do.  It never really occurred to us that we needed to be intentional about the time spent with each other.  We seemed to take for granted that we’d have another evening meal with our little family all gathered together around the table.  There seemed to always be an opportunity to fight over who was to wash dishes afterwards, “I did it yesterday … it’s YOUR turn …”  We just got wrapped up in life.  The same ole, same ole.  Even as adults with our daily lunch hour spent together to break up the work day, we just seemed to take for granted that we would always have the conversation, “Little or big,” when calling the other to discuss what we felt like eating that day – something little, as in a fast food hamburger or sandwich – or something big, as in a nice sit-down meal at a restaurant.

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I’d want to take the day and go to the beach with my sister, as one of my fondest memories is when I took her to Folly Beach as a young adult.  No matter how much sunscreen she smeared on her fair skin, she always came back looking like a lobster.  Even still, that did not stop her from getting in the salt water jumping waves.  I will never forget the huge smile that formed across her lips as she all but squealed as the waves crashed against her, nearly knocking her down.  I wish I had my camera at that point.  Oh, what I wouldn’t give at this point to have one of those pictures of that special day together – but I have to settle for this memory itched across my brain – one I pray will remain forever due to the amount of happiness which was displayed on her face as she beamed brighter than the sun on the sandy shores.

Yes, the beach would be a must on this one day visit.

LightLoveHopeCover

 

I wouldn’t want to share her with just anyone, yet I would be excited to let my parents know that a one day visit was possible for them, too!  Maybe we’d all share in this reunion – although my dad has only been on a beach once in his life, and I was the one that took him there.  Maybe he’d want to join us – jeans, church shoes, dress shirt, and white socks, just as he did when I took him when my daughter was a year old.  He’d go just to spend time with my sister, I know he would.  My mom would have to sit under an umbrella watching us as she’s not to get too much sun due to the medicine she takes.  But, I bet she’d want to be there, too, smiling, looking up from her feet and the sand beneath them, to catch a glimpse of us laughing and playing together.

 

Ultimate Protection

 

Pictures would be a must this time for sure.  After losing her, I’ve realized the value of pictures and that you can NEVER take “too many” pictures of your family.  Now that she’s been gone for 15 years, I realize I should have taken MORE pictures of her.  I never considered that my memories and pictures I could hold in my hand would be all I’d have left of her … and yet the reality is a harsh one.

I’d fix her a macaroni and cheese followed by a cheesecake, as she loved them both.  Maybe we’d even have a rib eye steak on the grill.  I’m sure we wouldn’t spend a whole lot of time on the meal, and the dishes would definitely have to wait.  No time would be wasted on those.  Not on this special day.  Yet, I’d want her to have some of her favorite foods during our time together.  Maybe even a “Bahama Mama” or “Purple Jesus.”  Yes, this seemingly quiet and shy young lady did enjoy a “cocktail” from time to time, even if she appeared innocent in front of my parents.  I knew the truth.

We’d drive around in her black Firebird (before “cocktails” no doubt), as she loved that car!  She was so proud and took such great care of it.  Maybe we’d let her daughter drive it, as she’s now old enough to go for her learner’s permit and start driving.  How cool would it be for her to drive her mother’s car?!

I’m sure she’d want to take time to get to know her 15 year old daughter now, too.  Without a doubt, she’s been watching from Heaven as this little tiny baby grew into a challenging teenager.  There would be a lot of catching up for them both.  I wouldn’t want it to be a sad occasion, though.  This one day visit needs to be filled with laughter and love.  Lots of love. Because it will have to carry us over long after my sister is summoned back to the spirit world and Heaven.
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We’d talk for hours, although she was a quiet soul at times.  Being gone 15 years, surely she’d have more to say and want to tell me all about life in Heaven.  And I’d soak up every single thing she shared with me, hanging on her every word wanting to hear more!

I’d take so many pictures, she’d have flash burns!  And I’d want to record her talking so I could hear her voice as many times as I’d want after she returned to her spirit form.  Oh, how I wish I could hear her voice right this minute.  So soft, almost a whisper at times, yet sweetly spoken words.  I’d give anything to hear her speak after all this time.

After a day visit, I’d not want to give her back or let her go again.  It would leave me wishing still for one more day with her … one more laugh, one more hug, one more “I love you …” 

If only it was possible to have just one more day with my sister.

 

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Everybody Wants To Rule The World

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You’ve probably felt inundated with political ads on Facebook and talk of politics on the news.  It seems that everybody wants to rule the world.

I’m not here to debate who is better or to sling mud on any candidate, though.

I would like to see the true person in power being shown the respect He deserves, and that person is our Lord and Savior.  It seems God has been taken out of so many things in our world today, is it any wonder the shape we’re in because of it?

Never in all of my 44 years have I seen shootings occurring so frequently all throughout the nation!  People’s lives are no longer valued, and I cannot grasp that at all.  How can people not value another person’s life?  To some, it’s nothing to just snuff another’s life right out over the smallest of things.  Why is this happening?

My daughter is on a trip right now at 19 years of age, and I worry.  Days before my daughter’s trip we heard of an abduction of a young lady at a gas station where she was forced into her car and driven to a cemetery.  There, she was shot and left for dead.  Thankfully, someone visiting the cemetery found her and called 911.  She’s in the hospital now, and they’re not sure if she will live or die – recover or be an invalid.  This is a sad world we’re living in when things like this keep happening!

Driving home on the interstate tonight, with the hard top down on my convertible, I should have been enjoying the wind blowing through my hair and the songs on the radio.  Yet, I was constantly having to be aware of my surroundings.  A thought entered my mind at one point of drive by shootings, and there I was with the top down in plain view feeling almost like a sitting duck.  It’s sad when one cannot enjoy the simple things in life without considering what “could” happen.

I know it sounds like fear grips my life or I’m in a state of worry at all times.  Not necessarily.  But, we all have to be real about what is going on in the world today.

Have you ever considered what the world would be like if we let the One who truly rules the world back in?  Non-Christians scream, “We’re offended,” which results in us removing God from so many things in this day and age.  Instead of standing as a united front, we, as a nation, cave and allow THEM power and control instead when we’re forced to take God out of everything.  Why can’t we stand up and say, “WE are offended that you’re trying to take God out of all things,” and have the power to say, “NO MORE! We will not allow it!” Why can’t we have a difference of opinion here without THEIR opinions or hurt feelings being the cause of God being removed from yet another thing?  What we truly need is GOD in ALL things!?

That’s the question.

When everybody wants to rule the world, why won’t we allow the King of Kings a place in it?  Oh if we did, what a different world it would be!

 

Rewriting Scripture

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We all know we’re not to take away or add to any scripture in the Bible.  We’re certainly not speaking of rewriting scripture, but what are your thoughts on personalizing a scripture when you’re going through a hard time?

Let’s look at Jeremiah 29:11, which is one of my absolute favorite promises from God.

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,

“plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

plans to give you hope and a future.

When you’re going through an especially hard time in your life, wouldn’t it be comforting to take this verse and make it personal to you?  It’s almost as if God is speaking right to you!

Think about it!

When in doubt, hear God speaking right to your heart!

Imagine a conversation that might go something like this:

“God, I’m scared.  I don’t know where to turn, what is going to happen or how I will face tomorrow.”

“My child, trust in Me.  I have it all under control.”

“I know, God, but some times I have doubts.”

“All you need is faith as small as a mustard seed.”

“I have more than that, God, but things are just really hard in this world today.”

“I have promised that I will never leave you nor forsake you.  I mean it!”

“I believe you, God, and I feel you by my side at times when I’m struggling.  Other times, I just feel confused.”

“Listen to Me, child!  I KNOW the plans I have for you!  I’m not going to let anything harm you.  I promise to remain by your side, carrying you when needed.  You may face troubles in life, but I promise, you will prosper!  Trust in ME!  I will give you hope when you need it the most, and I have great plans for your future.  Trust me.  I already know how this plays out.”

“Yes, Lord.  I will try harder to turn it all over to You and trust in You.  You formed me with Your own hands, and I know you have great things in store for me.  I just need to be patient until You reveal these things to me in Your time.”

“It is in MY timing, not yours, sweet child of mine.”

“Thank you, Father, for your words of encouragement and love straight from Your heart to mine.”

Lists, Lists, Lists

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The leisurely days of Summer have ended for me.  No more sleeping in or waking without the sound of an alarm clock.

Having started a new job in July, my days are now filled with lists, lists, lists, and more lists it seems.  Surprisingly, I look forward to going into work and interacting with my co-workers as well as the general public.  I’m now doing something that I absolutely love; Accounting!

There are other aspects to my job, of course, but for the most part, I get to play with numbers all day.  To a number cruncher like me, that’s what dreams are made of!

In high school, I took business courses which consisted of Accounting I, Accounting II, Office Supervision & Management, Business English, Business Math, Shorthand I, and Shorthand II.   I thrived in these classes and enjoyed immersing myself in my “pretend” company I was responsible for back then.  I enjoyed sharpening my pencil and writing the figures into my ledger book.  It thrilled me to no end to see how fast I could enter those numbers into my calculator, too.  When all my books balanced, I felt accomplished and proud of myself!

Fast forward all these years later – some 27 years – and I am now managing the office and keeping the books for a well known company in town.  The books have been kept the old fashioned way, too, so it was a little intimidating to go way back on how things were done all … those … years … ago.  Yet, that is what I’ve had to do until we can get all of the information into a computer system!  We are in the process of doing just that, as we had a demonstration just this afternoon for a software program with an accounting package included.  Up to this point, I have been creating spreadsheets to get away from handwriting everything into the ledger books.  I’ve made great process and now have from January forward in the computer!

Woo hoo!  I can cross that off of my list!

The staff is absolutely amazing, too, I might add.  While I realize I’m new and just learning their way of doing things, I have been asked several times by different people within the organization how I like it and if I plan to stay.  They check in with me, and that is refreshing in and of itself!  I have never worked for a company where they thank me, and MEAN it.  They “hate to bother me” when they are the owners coming to ask for my assistance.  That is new to me as well.  I’m used to people barging into my office throwing papers on my desk covering up what I’m currently working on as they bark orders at me, even when they were not in a supervisory position!  Here, it has been so refreshing as they ask for my help politely when they are not able to figure something out on their own, and they thank me repeatedly for my assistance while letting me know how much they appreciate me being there.  They try to make sure I know I’m appreciated, and that is like a breath of fresh air!  I welcome this change in my career, and I thank God for this opportunity!

This job was pretty much dropped in my lap.  I decided, after leaving my last employer that allowed coworkers to abuse their authority and mistreat people, that I just was not going to look for another job.  I was content staying at home with my children who are growing up way too fast for my liking!  My oldest – at 19 – is in college with a part time job to help pay for tuition.  My youngest – at 11 – is going into 6th grade this year.  Time is slipping from my grasp as my babies are not babies any longer.  So, I welcomed the opportunity to stay home with them from January until July.

My oldest had a really nice class schedule this past semester that allowed us lots of time together during the day while my youngest was at school.  Then, I had the entire evening with my youngest.  I would be waiting just outside the door of her school when the dismissal bell rang, and away we would go to spend the afternoon and evening together.  I also had a wonderful Spring Break with her, and we went on so many camping trips in our new-to-us RV from March to June.  As it heated up, we decided to take a break from the trips until it begins to cool off in the Fall.  But, this summer has been packed full of family time and memory making that I will forever treasure.

Having decided not to look for another job, I did say that I would entertain a position if someone came to me with a job opportunity.  Little did I know when I said it that I would have two positions presented to me within a two week time period.  I decided to go with this position, though, as it had number crunching involved, and I live and breathe to crunch numbers!  And I am SO glad God afforded me this opportunity!

God has provided me with an opportunity that I could not resist, and I am thrilled to go into work each day now and begin to go through my list of things to do.  I have such a feeling of accomplishment with each item I’m able to strike off of my “to do” list.

 

I Fancy A Fairy Tale

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As writers, we can bring all sorts of things to life.  We can incorporate characters with good as well as evil intentions, if that is our wish with the story we desire to tell.

Today I fancy a fairy tale where the world is at total peace and everyone is spreading joy, love, and kindness.  In my fairy tale, there are not any in the kingdom with ill, hateful intentions or a black, evil heart.  There is no room for such in my world because we are too busy sharing a smile, lending a helping hand, and striving to live in harmony with our fellow man.

There are no need for guns, not that they are bad at all, but because we no longer need them to protect ourselves or our families.  We have a plentiful harvest of food so no animals are slain as a food source for us.  It is completely unnecessary, and all of our needs are met without blood being shed.

Violence does not exist, and there is never a need for anyone to be angry or lose their temper.  We have no knowledge of what the word “war” means.

We genuinely care about each other here.  Working alongside each other, we raise up our children to be Godly influences as well.  Instilling good morals and values into our children is paramount to ensure that if, some how, an evil force made its way through, our children would be unaffected by it.  The children would be shielded and protected so no form of bullying would exist.  There would not be any sex trafficking crimes or any one out there wishing to do harm to these precious little ones.

The world would not be corrupt with pornography.  There would be no need for such as men and women would remain faithful and true, focusing only on their beloved.  No “affairs” would exist, and the families would not be torn apart nor hearts shattered.  No one else would matter to them regardless of if they had a pretty face, nice figure, flirtatious nature, or wore revealing clothes.  Wedding vows would be taken seriously and an unbreakable covenant would be formed between the couple and God above.  The words spoken on their wedding day would ring out and remain true for all eternity.  There would be no room for anyone else in their line of vision or their heart of hearts, only that of their beloved.

Lies, deceit, and betrayal have no place here.  We have no knowledge of these, as we’re all faithful and true.

Children would not be involved in adult issues as the adults would strive to make their children’s lives the happiest in all the land.   Parents would have no need to divorce so the family unit would remain a safe haven for the children.

No child would ever go to bed hungry, and there would not be any abuse of any kind toward children.

Everyone would have a roof over their heads, clothes on their backs, shoes on their feet, food in their tummies, money in their pockets, and love in their hearts.

In my world, we would not know the meaning of death, grief, or mourning, as everyone would live forever.  We would not ever have to say “Goodbye” to those that mean the most to us.  There would be no more tears shed, no more heart wrenching cries, no uncontrollable sobs, and no more feeling as if we are unable to breathe due to the pain deep within our core.   We would not have to worry about any more broken hearts or shattered lives.  Our families would remain intact, and our furry friends would forever remain by our sides as well.

Ah yes, I fancy a fairy tale …

I Fancy A Fairy Tale

Fur Babies

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Last night I shared a picture of my fur babies on Facebook.  It isn’t often that I allow my furry friends to get in my bed, but I made an exception last night.  I think the look on one’s face says it all:

Fur Babies

 

Doesn’t it look like the little Teacup Yorkie is smiling?!

I have had so many wonderful pets through the years, and they have blessed my heart and life more than words can say.

You may think I am crazy after I tell you this, but currently, we have five horses (four mares and a gelding), two female pygmy goats, a male rabbit, three cats (one male and two female), and four dogs (one male and three females).  Yes, that’s right.  You don’t have to count them again.  We really do have a total of 15 pets at the moment.  Don’t worry, through, we are responsible pet owners and have all of our cats and dogs “fixed” with the exception of one male cat, as he’s not yet old enough to do so.

I’ve always been an animal lover, but never in my life would I have thought I would have 15 animals.  I’m not some animal hoarder, either.  I provide the best care possible to all of my animals, and I truly love them with my whole heart!

Those that know me personally have probably already heard about my little goat baby.  She actually belongs to my oldest daughter, but this little goat has a special place in my heart.  We almost lost her when she was just a month old.  She was pretty much lifeless when we found her, but through our tears, my entire family worked to save this little goat baby’s life.  We worked on her for two solid hours after my husband brought her lifeless body inside to warm her.  I took a quick moment to look it up on Google to try to save her, and it gave ways to bring her body temperature back up.  She was so tiny at that point and fit right in my kitchen sink.  (Again, don’t think we’re nasty, but we did what we had to do at the time, and afterwards, we bleached it real good!)  We ran warm water to fill the sink and submerged all but her head in the water in an effort to bring her body temperature back up.  Then, we placed her in warm towels fresh from the dryer and used a hair dryer to also try to raise her body temperature as we dried her hair.  We also tried to bring her blood sugar levels back up by placing a few drops of honey on our fingers and putting them in the corner of her mouth.  When these efforts did not work, we tried it all over again.  Back in the warm water she went.  We were not giving up on her!  I refused to do so.  I worked on her while crying and begging God not to take her from us.  I kept looking in her eyes and could see life in them.  I knew that although she wasn’t moving, she was still with us!  I felt it in my heart and had to keep going with the life saving efforts.  After two hours, this little goat made the sweetest sound as she cried, then flopped out of my arms onto the floor.  She was still incredibly weak, unable to stand up, but she flared her limbs around a few times, then rested her head on me.  She looked right up at me with those big beautiful eyes, and she tried a few more times to stand.  It was then that I knew God brought her back to us!  It is truly a miracle from God that she is here today, and we are so very thankful.  Although my daughter had originally named her Tory, she will forever be my “little goat baby.”

I could go on and on about all of the animals on my little farm, and I’m sure you’ll be hearing more about all of my fur babies.  But tonight, I had to tell you about a miracle from God and how He brought one of our fur babies back to us!

Goat Baby

Oh, how I love this little goat baby!

Exploring The Ordinary

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Yesterday morning began as usual without any extraordinary occurrences.  We arose from our slumber anticipating a leisurely Summer day.  All was well throughout the day until we received an evening call which changed all of that.  We went from exploring the ordinary to being thrown into a situation we’ve never encountered before.

“They’re taking Mom to the hospital.  She’s unresponsive.”

My daughter sat with a look of disbelief on her face as she repeated the words her friend had spoken a few seconds earlier.

“Where are they taking her?” I asked, followed by, “Tell him we will meet them there!”

We all sat in silence as we made our way to the hospital as we whispered prayers straight from our hearts to God’s ears.

Our prayers were interrupted mere minutes from reaching the hospital as he called back and said, “She’s gone …”

Oh, Dear God …

We rounded the corner of the emergency room parking lot, searched the people standing outside, and scanned the cars parked nearby.  There in the back of the lot was his white Acura with the door open.  We approached the car slowly as we did not see anyone inside at first.  Then we saw him laying almost lifeless himself across the seat of the car with his hand over his face sobbing deeply.  I ran to him, pulled him up out of the seat and held him close to me as he cried, soaking the arm of my shirt with his heartbreaking tears.

His mother was gone.  The only true mother figure in his life was gone.  This woman, his grandmother, stepped in when he was only four days old, to care for him.  She became his “Mom” at that point, and she raised him as her very own all these years.  At 19 years old, his heart broke right there last night and shattered into a million pieces.  We got there as soon as we could to gather those shattered pieces and hold him as tightly as our arms could.

This was most certainly not an ordinary day at all as it ended in such heartbreak and pain.  Watching our dear friend trying so hard to be strong was excruciating for us as there was nothing we could do to take this pain from him.  All we could do was hold him, pray for him, and ask God to comfort as only He can at a time like this.

One thing we know for certain is this woman left this world last night and was rejoicing with her Lord and Savior that night.  As we wrapped our strong arms around him to hold him up, Jesus opened His Almighty Arms and welcomed her Home.

None of us know when our time on this earth is through.  Let us all get our hearts and lives right so when our time comes, our loved ones will know without a doubt that we’re in Heaven as well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love Is In The Air

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Love is in the air.  Do you feel it?

Floating past you seemingly unnoticed at first, then knocking you off your feet.

The tall, dark, and handsome man across the room glances at you and continues to sneak a peek hoping you won’t catch him, and yet you do.  Frozen in time for a moment, his face flushes red as he turns away only to look back at you as you’re now watching him.

And so it begins.

A soft smile forms on your lips as you look down and to the side.

Fast forward and these once shy teenagers are now older doing this thing called “Life” together.

Hand in hand.  Heart to heart.

Love has brought fourth two beautiful children.  When you didn’t think it possible to have any greater love, you became a mother!  Now, without a doubt, you know the meaning of unconditional love.

Soft cries in the night, those of your newborn baby girl.  Rushing to her side, cradling her in your arms, you look down at the face of an angel.  God’s angel.  He sent her to this earth for you to nurture, love, shelter and protect.  And she gave your life new meaning and purpose.

Years later, after trouble, adversity, tragedy, and heartache struck, God blessed you with your miracle from above.  Your heart’s desire now wrapped securely in a blanket, placed in your arms as you cry tears of pure joy at another angel God has trusted you with.

Your life feels complete.  Your family unit now whole.  And all is right in the world.

Years pass by, and your babies grow up.  One now 19, the other knocking on the door of her 12th birthday.  The pregnancy you lost never forgotten.

You reflect back, and it all seems like yesterday.  You can recall every precious moment with your baby girls, all the beautiful firsts.  And you look around and wonder where the time has gone?  Why did your babies have to grow up so incredibly fast?  It’s like you blinked, and they transformed into a grown up version of the little ones you once held hands with crossing the street.  Yet you treasure every memory you’re blessed to have, and you take way too many pictures of moments to make them last a lifetime.  Savoring every single moment in time, loving with all your might, pouring out all of yourself into your family.  Grasping every fraction of a second you can with them before they’re grown enough to extend their wings to fly.

And you dread when that day comes knowing your heart will break.  As you wave your hand high in the air at them going down the driveway while blinking back tears, the love you share with your children will remain forever.

Whether near or far, love is where you are … right there tucked inside your heart.

Forever.

And no one can take that from you.

Love Is In The Air

 

 

 

Protect What Matters Most

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The fourth of July has come and gone, and every year we hear horror stories of people injured by fireworks.

This morning I opened a news article where a 15 year old boy made a bomb out of 200 sparklers.  In the interview, his mom and aunt talked of how he did this every year.

I have to stop right there and ask the question:  WHY would you allow your child to play with fireworks and make bombs?  Why?

The mother and aunt were in tears, and rightfully so.  Their precious loved one is in critical condition, having part of his leg amputated.  As he is still in a coma, they are unsure if the boy will lose his vision as a result of the explosion.  His friend was also injured in the explosion, and he has to return to the hospital to have metal removed from his eyes.

Protect what matters most!

Do NOT allow your children to play with things of this nature.

About three years ago, my family and I decided to stay in for the 4th of July.  We purchased our own fireworks and decided to have a fun time at home celebrating.  My husband was to be the one to set the fireworks up and light them.  My daughters and I had our beach chairs reclined in anticipation of a fabulous show.  The first few fireworks were just fine, but something went terribly wrong when the roman candle fell on its side and started shooting right at us!  My daughters and I jumped up from our chairs and started running toward the house for cover.  As I tried to run, I tripped over my chair, and instantly I felt a hard metal ball hit my leg.  It stung, which only made me run faster with greater determination to get away from it.  After the roman candle was finally empty and I made sure my children were safe, I vowed that we would never, ever attempt to do fireworks at home again!  And, we haven’t.  Thankfully, I was the only one hit, and it did not penetrate my skin.

The whole ordeal was frightening, to say the least.  This incident happened with fireworks we bought at the store.  I cannot imagine trying to make one yourself and having tragedy strike.

I know the mom and aunt are living with regret today having allowed the boy to participate in such an act.  It is extremely sad that this has ultimately altered his entire life now.

Parents, please protect what is nearest and dearest to your heart – your children!  Protect what matters most!

If you want to enjoy fireworks, go to a show where the experts handle all of it – every single bit of it!  That way you and your family can kick back, relax, and enjoy the show.  There are places all over our small community offering places for the family to enjoy the 4th of July fireworks. I’m sure they are in your area as well. It just is not worth it to risk doing it yourself at home OR making firework bombs.

Pray for the 15 year old and his family, as well as his friend that was also injured yesterday.

Freedom From Shame

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Help yourself attain freedom from shame.Maybe you’re still carrying around “baggage” from something that happened in the past, or perhaps it’s a situation that you’ve just found yourself in that has you plagued with guilt and shame.  The reality is that it does not matter when it occurred.  The point is no one is immune to it.  It reaches in and attacks the very core of who we are, often times dragging our sense of self worth down with it.  I’m speaking of guilt, but more importantly, I am referring to shame.  Trust me, there is a difference in the two.

Heather Davis Nelson speaks to the heart and soul in her book “Un-Ashamed – Healing Our Brokenness and Finding Freedom From Shame.”

Shame can come from any where; often times from how you feel about your body, difficult situations you may have encountered with a boss or coworker, or even something that happened in a relationship you were involved in.  Other times, it can be something that was forced upon you, and now you are having to live with the aftermath. Extreme shame is also someone’s constant companion if they have a secret sin they are trying to keep hidden.

Ms. Nelson utilizes Brene Brown’s books in order to put her work in a biblical framework, and she explains that she does so since we live in a fallen world.  Ms. Nelson strives to address the topic of shame with hope!

Allow me to quote directly from the pages of the book as the words speak volumes:

“Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging,” writes Brene Brown.   

“Brown writes:  ‘The majority of shame researchers and clinicians agree that the difference between shame and guilt is best understood as the difference between ‘I am bad’ and ‘I did something bad.’  Guilt = I did something bad.  Shame = I am bad.’  Guilt is associated with actions while shame taints your entire identity.”

“Ed Welch, a professor and counselor at the Christian Counseling an Education Foundation (CCEF), fills this out in the following ways:  “Guilt can be hidden; shame feels like it is always exposed.”

Let me just stop right there and say THIS is SO true!  I know this section at the very beginning of her book spoke to my heart!  This was just in the first few pages, too!  Imagine what the rest of the book has in store – oh, you’re going to want to soak and bask in it!

Not convinced yet?

Allow me to share a little more, would you:

“To expunge guilt, confession and forgiveness are needed.  Eradicating shame calls for a deep and pervasive antidote, one that will strike shame at its roots and transform the way you think about who you are and the relationships in your life.”

“We wear shame like a shield, hiding who we know ourselves to be and protecting ourselves from whom we fear others could be.”

Wow!

Now let me share something that brought hope forth out of these passages:

“Through union with Christ you are clothed with honor rather than shame, made part of a community to which you will always belong, and given a kingdom that cannot be taken away.”

I have been engrossed in this book so much that my daughter came in the other day when I was reading it inquiring as to the content.  I shared some of it with her, and she would like to read this book after I’m finished with it.  I’m telling you – everyone, regardless of age, can benefit from the wisdom that is imparted in this book.

Please enter our giveaway to have your very own copy of this book sent directly to your door.  Even if you’re not struggling with any form of shame currently but know of someone that may be going through something like this, you could win this book in our giveaway to pass on to them.  That’s food for thought.  Some one out there NEEDS to hear the message this book brings forth!  Won’t you enter?

Freedom from shame!

“Disclosure (in accordance with the FTC’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”): Many thanks to Propeller Consulting, LLC for providing this prize for the giveaway. Choice of winners and opinions are 100% my own and NOT influenced by monetary compensation. I did receive a sample of the product in exchange for this review and post. Only one entrant per mailing address, per giveaway.  If you have won a prize from our sponsor Propeller / FlyBy Promotions in the last 30 days, you are not eligible to win.  Or if you have won the same prize on another blog, you are not eligible to win it again. Winner is subject to eligibility verification.”

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