Light, Love, Hope

A Gift From The Heart

Pulling out of our driveway tonight, we saw lights coming toward us. As we waited, we realized that the vehicle was that of our elderly neighbor just down the road from us. She stopped, and we got out to greet her. She had gifts in hand and thanked us for our gift of Jim Brickman CDs and a candle that we left in her mailbox just the other day. I don’t give to receive, though. When I give, it is a gift from the heart with no strings attached and no expectations.

We chatted briefly, and then we got back into our vehicles to go our separate ways.

This lady lives alone with her dog and cat. My heart goes out to her as, while I don’t know this for a fact, she appears to be all by herself. She could have a huge family that she visits often, but I rarely see vehicles at her house. That is why I have drawn this conclusion.

Often times, I think of my grandmother who lived alone for several years before she passed away. She lost my grandfather a few years before, and she was so very lonely. I can almost hear her now on the phone as she talked of how lonely her days were. Sure, we would visit, but I know it wasn’t as often as we should have. We did what we could, though. I imagine that is why I have such a strong desire to let this lady up the road know that she isn’t all alone in this great big world.

When we returned home tonight, we opened the gift bag and manila envelope that our neighbor had given us a few hours earlier. My youngest daughter was so excited to see what goodies our neighbor shared with us. There were several items that could have looked “recycled.” But … that may have been all that she had to give, and she chose to give them to us! For that … I am grateful. She thought of us, and I appreciate her thoughtfulness and the kindness she has extended by remembering my family and I at this time of year.

For me, I don’t look at the recycled gifts in a bad way at all. I appreciate the calendar she gave as well as the Angels Among Us literature. There was even an article about how beautiful Heaven is. She had a few of what looked to be her old costume jewelry which consisted of bracelets, necklaces, and rings in the mix. My daughter was thrilled and began putting every single one of them on. I smiled inside and out as I watched her excitement. Our neighbor did a wonderful thing, and my heart is grateful.

At Christmas time, I hope you will consider those that may not have much to give. I am sure they feel bad about giving what little they do have, but to me, it was a blessing to be on the receiving end of such kindness and generosity. I remember a few times being right where our neighbor is and not really being able to afford to buy for all. I did the best I could and hoped the recipients knew I was giving from my heart even if my wallet was not able to give as grand of a gift as I would have liked. It is all about the giver’s heart, and I know that my neighbor is a very sweet, kindhearted lady. And I am blessed by her thoughtfulness.

I hope that you will appreciate the heart of the giver this holiday season. If someone gives you a gift that you may not have chosen for yourself, please be gentle and kind. It truly IS the thought that counts. They have big hearts, even if they do not have big wallets to go with it.

For me, I received a blessing tonight. I hope you will receive your very own blessing this holiday season.

War Room

Shirley Giveaway, God Is Close To The Broken Hearted 0

WarRoom The name itself brings about visions of soldiers gathered around planning their defenses on the front line of the battlefield. Yet, we’re not going out there carrying guns, preparing to go to war with firearms. Our war is a different one, but the enemy is relentless just the same. He comes to steal, kill, and destroy. And that is why we must fight our battle on our knees in prayer!

A spiritual war is going on.

Imagine having the best of everything: nice house, picture perfect marriage on the outside, beautiful child, great job with wonderful benefits. You never realize that you’re under attack as he creeps in slowly, determined to take you down. That is exactly what happened in the movie War Room. Although this was a made up movie, I am sure that many couples can identify with the crisis situations their entire family went through when under attack by the devil. I know I sure could.

Several months back, I received an invitation for a pre-screening of this movie. I asked my husband if he would like to go with me, explaining that we could take this opportunity to have a date night. I had no idea what this movie was about, but the title itself brought about the very visions that I spoke of in the first paragraph of this post.

I’ll never forget walking into the theater, taking my seat along with the others, and watching as my life from the year before played out in front of my eyes on the screen. While it was not identical to what my family and I went through, there were certainly some similarities. I sat there with tears streaming down my face as I felt all of those emotions all over again.

Every one should have a “Miss Clara” in their life. She is one of the main characters in this movie, and she is so filled with the holy spirit. She is on a mission to mentor to people and help them draw closer to God, and I wish I had a Miss Clara when my family and I were going through our trials the year before this movie hit theaters. My dad was the closest I had to a “Miss Clara,” and he kept me strong in my faith as I fought, begged, pleaded, and prayed through tears many days and nights for my marriage, my family, my children, and my husband!

Miss Clara shared how she fights her battles in prayer in her War Room. She turned an ordinary closet in her home into a place where she made specific prayer strategies and prayed with all of her might while turning to scriptures to strengthen and encourage her.

Another main character, Elizabeth, was struggling with bitterness in her marriage while her husband, Tony, was flirting with temptation. Miss Clara had Elizabeth write down a list of things that troubled her about her marriage and then asked her to turn it over to God. Pray over it. Fight for her marriage!

A pivotal moment was when Elizabeth prayed over her husband, her marriage and her family. Then she got angry and went through the house rebuking the devil, letting him know that he was NOT welcome there and that he could NOT have her family! I felt such emotion well up inside of me as I, too, had done something very similar the year before!

Another pivotal moment was when Tony, Elizabeth’s husband, realized that his wife was praying for him. He found the scriptures and specific prayers his wife had written down and placed on the wall in her war room. He began to realize the error in his ways and how wrong his actions had been. He was not happy with the person he had become, and he fell on his knees before the Lord asking for forgiveness. Later, he humbled himself before Elizabeth when he asked for her forgiveness as well. This was powerful to see a man confessing his sins before the Lord and his wife. I imagine it was also empowering to men every where who have been taught untruths as boys that “real men don’t cry.” This man had rivers of tears flowing several times when God convicted his heart. He cried and begged for forgiveness as he sought to turn from his sinful ways.

To say that this movie is powerful would truly be an understatement. There are not enough words in the human language to adequately express how truly inspiring and moving this movie truly is! It isn’t just a movie. It has brought about movement! I, personally, know of a women that was so inspired by this movie that she created a war room in her house as well.

Growing up, I heard them making reference to going into your closet and praying. I’ll never forget the impact of those words I heard in church. I thought it odd at first, but wishing to be obedient, I literally walked into my closet as a child and prayed. I had no way of knowing that many years later, a movie would be made based on this whole concept and would encourage people around the world to go into their own closets to fight their battles in prayer!

Please … if you want to see God’s hand moving in your homes, marriages, families … begin with PRAYER! If you’re not sure where to start, the War Room movie will point you in the right direction. There are companion books to go along with this movie, one specifically states it is “A Woman’s Battle Plan For Serious, Specific, and Strategic Prayer;” Fervent was written by Priscilla Shirer, who played Elizabeth in War Room. Another book sure to help you is The Battle Plan For Prayer: From Basic Training To Targeted Strategies by Stephen & Alex Kendrick, the master minds behind War Room.

This movie comes out on DVD December 22, 2015. I encourage you to BUY this movie! It is one that you will watch again and again. Thanks to FlyBy Productions/Propeller, we were given an advanced copy of this not yet released DVD. My 11 year old daughter was glued to this movie the entire time. Our 18 year old daughter watched it as well. I believe they, too, were impacted by this movie.

If you would like your very own copy of War Room, please enter our giveaway below!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Many thanks to Propeller Consulting, LLC for providing this prize for the giveaway. Choice of winners and opinions are 100% my own and NOT influenced by monetary compensation. I did receive a sample of the product in exchange for this review and post.

Only one entrant per mailing address, per giveaway. If you have won a prize from our sponsor Propeller/FlyBy Productions in the last 30 days, you are not eligible to win. If you have won the same prize on another blog, you are not eligible to win it again. Winner is subject to eligibility verification.

It Doesn’t Define You

Shirley Bullying Is NOT Okay!, My Story 0

People can be mean and cruel, and often times are. Instead of showing appreciation to a loyal, hard worker, they make more demands on you. No praise is given for all the great quality work, not to mention the HUGE amount of work, that you do. They go on a mission to find fault over every little thing with you, making a mountain out of a mole hill. They speak to you as if you are beneath them, lower than scum of the earth. While they aren’t necessarily always raising their voice at you, they speak to you in a condescending tone as if they are some how superior. News flash! They aren’t! Furthermore, how they act, what they say, and even what they do – NONE of that is a reflection of you. Instead, they are showing you who they really and truly are. What I would like you to realize is that it doesn’t define you. No matter what they say about you, how they try to turn things around on you to make you the bad guy, the attitude they take with you, the harsh tone they use when speaking to you – NONE of that defines you at all. Instead, it lets you know the type of person they are. They have a heart problem. Deep down within themselves, they have issues that neither you nor I can fix.

When is enough finally enough, though? As a Christian, just how much are you supposed to sit there and take? This keeps coming up with different situations. Yes, I realize you’re supposed to turn the other cheek. I realize that you are to do unto others as you’d want done to you. I realize that just because a person does all of this and more to me, I don’t have to respond to them in the same fashion. I get that. All of it. But, what I’d like to know is when is it okay for a Christian to say I will NOT continue to be mistreated? Why is a Christian – just because they ARE a Christian – expected to put up with ill treatment? Why is it okay for a person to bully, belittle, degrade, etc. another human being? Why should we continue to sit there quietly praying while they all but beat us over the head time and time again. When is it okay for a Christian to stand up for themselves and say I will NOT continue to take this!

Let me give you a little history here. It isn’t that this person said and did all of these ugly things to me once and I got bent out of shape. No. Not at all. There is more to this than most know. Allow me to enlighten you.

I worked for this company for ten years. Not all of those years were bad, though. During those ten years, I formed a friendship with an older lady in the office. Since it was a small office, we were there most days alone. We became friends, and all was well for a while. Until she started taking her frustrations out on me. I never knew when it would happen either. One day things would be fine, and the next day, something set her off and I was her target. I left in 2003 due to this individual. They were diagnosed as bi-polar back then, but they refused to take their medicine. They attempted suicide several times before I left, and despite how I was treated on numerous occasions, I tried to help them. The thing I realized back then is that you cannot help someone that does not want to even help themselves. No matter how she treated me, though, I was there to help her when she needed me. I visited her in the hospital after one of her attempted suicides, with tears in my eyes begging her not to do anything like that ever again. When she couldn’t function and do anything in her house, or even write out her own bills, I went to her house (an hour and 15 minutes away) to help her. I took time away from my family to be there to lend a hand. That is the Christian thing to do, right?

After ALL of this, finally I had enough when one day she literally chased me around the office. On one occasion when we were left there alone and she was having a bad day, she came across the desk at me and got in my face. I told her to leave me alone, yet she would not so I got up from my desk to walk away. That is when she went after me. I kid you not. I ended up screaming at her to leave me alone as I ran up the stairs of our two story office building. Later, I did try to tell the owner what happened. Much to my surprise, he asked if she had hit me. When I said no, he did not see a problem then since she hadn’t laid a hand on me. I told him I was coming to him before it got to that point for him to HELP with the situation. Since he did not, I left.

Fast forward ten years. This same individual was diagnosed with cancer. Her cousin contacted me, and I then wrote a card to this individual telling her I was sorry to hear the news but to please let me know if I could do anything for her personally or for the company (as I knew she would need to be out for treatment – also, the original owner retired and his sons were running the business now so I was more than willing to help them as well if it was needed). Shortly thereafter, she called me and asked me to come back to the company as she was really behind on a lot of invoices. I agreed, and when I went in there, I found boxes upon boxes of invoices that needed to be scanned into the system, tons of past due invoices that she hadn’t touched, and I immediately went to work resolving all of those issues. I got the company completely up-to-date and current on all of their bills, and I had a nice system going in Accounts Payable as I had all but taken it completely over while she worked on other areas in Accounting. Two years later, though, and I’m afraid here we go again as she has started to target me once more.

How did it start? Well, last Friday, she sent me a text message, but I did not respond because I was off that day and in the middle of the woods on the back of my horse. She knew my husband and I were going on this trip, too. I didn’t respond to her message, and honestly, I forgot about it until Monday morning when I was greeted with a harsh tone upon my arrival to work. Without even so much as a “Good Morning” from her, she said with a hateful tone, “I need you to come in here.” Honestly, I did not want to go in there as she was already speaking to me in an ugly manner. I tried to be the bigger person, and I tried to let this roll off of my back. Yet, it continued Monday, into Tuesday, and Wednesday I finally had enough. I held my tongue and accepted the way she was speaking to me all week, and although I did not like the papers being flung in my face and her waving her arms in my personal space as she was talking because she was angry at me, I still tried to remain calm. Wednesday, though, I tried to speak to her about how she was acting toward me. It made it WORSE, though, and I said I was not going to tolerate this ill treatment from her again. I stood up to her – I did not cower down – and where did it get me? Yes, I felt good inside of my soul because I did not let the bully win. I did not cower in the corner when she tried to tower over me launching insults and speaking to me as if I was lower than dirt under her toenails. I kindly reminded her that SHE called ME two years ago and asked me to help her. I asked her if she still needed my help. She said she did, so I told her that I would appreciate if she didn’t treat me this way then. That did not go over well with her, and what happened next I had already predicted. Wednesday, she took all the invoices I was working on off of my desk. When I came in, they were gone. Then all day Wednesday, she withheld work from me. The invoices that the owner approves, I would normally key. He approved a huge pile of bills that morning, and she kept the basket in her office. She withheld them all day, not allowing me to work on them. She took every invoice that came in the mail that day and hid them from me so I would not have any thing to work on. And then … she told me not to come in Thursday because there wasn’t anything to do. I knew she was lying, as she was swamped with work! Yet, she was withholding work for me to do so she could dismiss me. So, I gathered my belongings and out the door I went. I called the owner after I left, and I relayed to him everything that happened. He said he would talk to her – not even a minute into the conversation he volunteered to talk to her. So he KNOWS how she is! I told him, though, that it would only make it worse if she found out I was talking to him because she told me in these past two years NOT to go to him. And here I was … going to him because I felt he needed to know how she was not only treating me, but I have witnessed her mistreating another lady in the office upon my return two years ago. These two years, I have witnessed her being so ugly to this lady. She has treated this lady really badly, and the lady was like I was ten years earlier, and she just sits there and takes it, cowering at her desk under the pressure. I let the owner know this because the individual should NOT be allowed to get away with bullying and yet all of her 65 years, she HAS! That is why she is the way she is today! She has been allowed to bully and intimidate, and no one has called her down or put her in her place so she gets WORSE!

So I’m here to tell you – if you have encountered someone in your life that has treated you this way, it is not you, dear one. Their mistreatment of you does NOT define you. You do NOT deserve this treatment at all, and you should not have to cower down to them when they start their bullying and intimidating tactics. You have EVERY RIGHT to stand up for yourself, even if no one else stands along side you. Even if you tell the owner and nothing is done about it, you have every right to demand respect from people. Yes, even as a Christian! I have turned the other cheek with her time and time again, as you can see, and my cheek has been slapped again and again and again. No one has the right to continue to abuse you, and that is exactly what this is: abuse!

Stand tall. Hold your head up high, and know that you deserve better than this. You have every right to walk away! God will handle them in the end. You just take good care of yourself and don’t let what this individual says and does affect who you are! This has no reflection on you but shows the person they truly are. There is a time to pray over them and a time to realize that it is time to walk away … and this is me … walking away from that individual, standing tall with my head held high and my integrity still in tact knowing that she is a troubled person and no amount of help I can offer will fix her ugly heart that is filled with hatred. I give her and this situation completely over to God!

No one has the right to try to make you feel inferior or as if you do not matter. You are a child of God, and you do not deserve to be mistreated by any one! You have the right to stand up for yourself, and yes, you have the right to walk away … and still remain a Christian when you do!

An Almost Silent Night

Shirley Angel of Hope, God Is Close To The Broken Hearted, My Story 0

There she stood, much taller than she was four years ago, with her brownish-auburn hair flowing gracefully over her left shoulder. Smiling nervously, she looked at me through the dark square framed glasses, my now 14 year old niece, Melanie.

Brief awkward hugs were exchanged with her in front of my parents. They have longed to have their second born granddaughter in their lives for all of these 14 years, yet had to settle for occasional visits here and there. Now, though, we were all together sharing in this moment with Melanie.

We made our way at dusk dark through the Christmas decorations that lined the Children’s Christmas Garden. Looking around, we found our place on the cold, hard, steel bleachers that were set up for this occasion; The Angel of Hope Ceremony.

I left my seat for a moment to fetch a long stemmed white carnation. Returning to the front row of the bleachers, I smiled as I offered it to Melanie. I previously explained the ceremony to her and gave her the carnation for her to place on her mother’s plaque at the appropriate time in the ceremony.

As the ceremony began, it was an emotional time for so many that were gathered with us. The purpose for the Angel of Hope Ceremony is to recognize our loved ones that have gone too soon. While the idea behind it was for parents who have lost their children, I paid for the plaque to be placed for my sister as my parents did not have the funds to do so at the time the statue was erected. It is often hard for me to visit the cemetery as I get too emotional when I go, so the Angel of Hope Garden is a place I can visit to remember my sister and to honor her. It was my hope that others would find comfort there under the Angel as well, and I believe they have.

As the names were called out, pictures were shared on the screen so that everyone in attendance could see the person that we were honoring and remembering. Much to our surprise, they were not all little children at all. The majority were pictures of adults, but honestly, they are someone’s children no matter how old they were when they passed. That is exactly why I had this plaque placed for my sister. Although she passed at the age of 33, she was still – and will always be – my parent’s oldest child.

We paused for a moment when my sister’s name was called, “Pamela H. Smoak.” Finally we rose to our feet, my husband and I, Melanie, my dad and mom, as well as my two beautiful daughters who were sitting on the end. We made our way down the lit path toward the Angel of Hope, and as we reached my sister’s plaque, we paused once more. Melanie placed the white carnation on top of the monument that holds the plaques as I placed my hand on the plaque itself. We stood there on an almost silent night as my dad kissed his hand and placed it on the plaque as he uttered the words, “I love you, baby.” As our group exited the garden, we were all given a candle to light as a song played in remembrance of our loved ones.

This is certainly never anything we look forward to each year as that means a very important part of our hearts is missing. We would much rather have her here with us, but sadly, that just wasn’t part of God’s plan. Instead, we find a stronger meaning in this year’s Angel of Hope Ceremony as Melanie was present to pay tribute to and honor her mother.

Angel of Hope5

My sister’s birthday is December 13th. While we cannot do anything for her here on earth now to “celebrate” with her, we can gather every year – and have for the past seven years – on the first Saturday in December at the Angel of Hope Ceremony to honor her and others gone too soon.

Pamela2

Finding Joy Around The Holidays

Shirley Choose Joy!, Christmas, My Story 1

Yesterday on Twitter, I was invited to participate in a link up. (Thank you Hope N. Griffin!) I was extremely excited and flattered that I received this personal invitation.

The topic everyone was to write on was how you’re finding joy in every day. She posed a few questions, then reminded us that Advent is about peace and resting in the joy of the Lord.

I took some time to ponder on what she wrote in an effort to get my creative juices flowing. I seem to be lacking in that department these days, and it has dawned on me that it is because I am not feeling peaceful in my soul. I’ve lost my joy in the past few days. If I am completely honest, the troubling blue funk was attempting to take me down this past weekend, immediately after Thanksgiving.

We have so much to be thankful for, as I covered in a post just last week. So why the blue funk?

Everyone is busy with their Christmas shopping now that this special holiday is upon us. But, that isn’t what is troubling me.

You see, my sister’s birthday is December 13th. It should be a time of sweet celebration, yet … this time is filled with sadness as she has been gone 14 years now. And what’s more, just when I think I’ve overcome the struggle to get through the holidays without this bothering me … I realize that it has all but consumed me. I’ve been on edge due to this being in the back of my mind. I’ve been short, snapping at my loved ones, or irritable for no reason, or so I thought. Other times, I’m extremely quiet and withdrawn. Then it hit me today as I was thinking of what Hope asked on her blog.

Every year, on the first Saturday in December, we attend The Angel of Hope Ceremony. Here, gathered with others who have lost loved ones, we honor their memory. We have been doing this for several years now, and this year will be no different. My sister’s plaque is on the wall at The Angel of Hope Monument in our town.

Angel of Hope Pamela

It is hard to visit the cemetery at times, so here, we find some comfort standing beneath the large angel statue in the garden. Even if it is just a piece of stone with my sister’s name itched into it, it is there as a reminder that she lived, loved, and touched a part of our hearts. Her memory will live on forever.

Angel of Hope

So how will I get my joy back at this time?

The same question can be asked for people every where that are struggling at this time, as I know I am not the only one having trouble during the holiday season. There is a young man, close to our family, that is struggling after losing his granddaddy a few short months ago. His pain is still fresh and new, as I believe this is the first holiday season they have had without this very special member of their family. There are others that have lost valued friends, and they are trying to cope as well. I know another gentleman that lost his mother and sister, so I imagine his pain is great during this holiday season, although he won’t mention it. A lot of people internalize their pain, holding it close to them, while others are afraid to acknowledge it for fear of it hurting more if they do. Others will eventually speak about their loss, but the majority of the time, people will suffer in silence and try to deal with their pain alone.

For me, I am choosing to reflect on the good times and the wonderful memories I have of my sister. To take back my joy and push this blue funk cloud right on out of here, I am choosing to reminisce about the time I took my sister to Folly Beach. She wasn’t one to frequent beaches, as her milky white skin reflected. On the off chance that she would, she returned looking like a lobster. Yet, on this particular day, she wanted to go with me to the beach, and so I took her to one of my favorite beaches of all time. There, I watched my sister smile, deep from her soul, as she jumped the waves that were crashing in. I can still see her standing with her back against the waves, feeling self conscious at first, allowing them to move her slightly forward as she resisted against their strength. Finally, she gave in and allowed the child within to play, jumping each wave as they rushed in.

Now, each time that I’m tempted to focus on her absence, I will, instead, try really hard to focus my attention on fond memories I hold close to my heart of her. I encourage anyone else who is struggling to find joy this holiday season to do the same.

Your loved one would not want you sitting around crying over them. Instead, they would want you out and about enjoying the sights and sounds of the holiday season. So, go. Get out of that chair, leave the gloomy room in your house where you sit and overthink things, analyzing it until you feel worse … and focus on having fun in their honor. Talk to them along the way, or even comment in the presence of others what your loved one would have enjoyed about the activity that you’re sharing with them. Or do something to celebrate their life. Don’t focus on how they died (which is really hard in my case, since my sister committed suicide). Instead, focus on how they LIVED!

To those missing loved ones this holiday season, I’m right there with you. But, we have to turn this sad sack train around and jump on the Polar Express to happier times, even if that is by taking a stroll down memory lane each time our thoughts derail.

Thank you, Hope, for inviting me to join in. While I’m almost certain this isn’t what you had in mind when you invited me, thank you for allowing me to write what has been troubling my heart. Now that I have acknowledged it and shifted my focus, I will pray for God’s peace and joy as we prepare to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ in just a few weeks.

Angel of Hope3

Do You Want To Be FashionABLE?

Shirley Giveaway, God Is Close To The Broken Hearted, Inspiration 0

Around the holiday season, every one wants to look their best. There are Christmas parties with your employer, not to mention getting together with good friends and gathering with families around the holiday. Next up will be New Year’s Eve as you ring in the new year! This is a FUN time of year!

Do you want to be fashionABLE?

No, I didn’t hit the all caps by accident. There is a wonderful reason behind it. You see, recently I was introduced to a company that allows you to customize your jewelry. Whether you would like to do this with a ring or a necklace, they allow you to choose!

But …

That isn’t even the best part yet.

This company believes in empowering women, and they work with women who have overcome great challenges in their lives. Whether they were a slave to drugs, involved in prostitution, or just did not have a lot of opportunities available to them, FashionABLE has come in to give them a purpose and rescue them from the previous challenges allowing them to overcome! When I read that, that was enough to convince me that no matter the price, the jewelry was worth it due to how they are helping women.

Immediately, I went over to their website to check them out, and I put together my order for a rosary necklace. I became a designer at that very moment because I got to choose how I wanted my necklace! I was able to choose the chain (silver vs. gold), the beads (I chose pearl), etc. knowing that this necklace would be handmade to my liking by a woman that was once less fortunate but is now empowered and doing great things in life! Just in that short period of time when I was customizing my order, I smiled inside knowing that I was helping a woman help herself!

When it arrived, I could not get it out of the box fast enough. The sparkling chain and pearls were inviting me to try it on! I purposely had it shipped to my work address as I knew that my coworkers would comment if they liked it. Sure enough, within moments of adjusting the necklace, my coworker came into my office. The first words out of her mouth were, “Wow, that is beautiful! I really like that necklace. Where did you get it?” At that moment, I had the opportunity to share with her exactly what FashionABLE was all about! That felt even better than the compliment itself! Just knowing that I was sharing about this great company and how they are helping women who have overcome! That felt GREAT! In some small way, it made me feel like I was making a difference, too!

FashionABLE

A few days after receiving my necklace, I received an email from FashionABLE telling me about one of the women that they helped. As I looked at her picture, tears filled my eyes as I thought of how she struggled yet overcame! My heart swelled with such pride in sharing about this organization!

FashionABLE is offering YOU the opportunity to create your very own piece of jewelry as well! Please enter our giveaway below, and if chosen, you will be allowed to customize a ring or necklace for your very own!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Many thanks to Propeller Consulting, LLC for providing this prize for the giveaway. Choice of winners and opinions are 100% my own and NOT influenced by monetary compensation. I did receive a sample of the product in exchange for this review and post.

Christmas Music All Around

Shirley Beautiful Music, Christmas, Giveaway 0

ChristTomlinCD Before there was Christmas music all around, I was listening to Chris Tomlin’s Christmas CD Adore: Christmas Songs of Worship.

This album just released on October 23, 2015, and I had it playing at work shortly thereafter. Music relaxes me while I work, and what better way to go about your day than with worship music floating out of the speakers on my desk?!

I’ve been a fan of Chris Tomlin for a long time, often using songs for our praise and worship interpretive dances when I was the director at our church a few years ago. Chris Tomlin always brings about a worshipful experience in the way he presents the songs. From the music to the words ushering us into God’s holy presence, any time you listen to Chris Tomlin, you will feel like it has been a worshipful experience. His Christmas music is no different!

If you would like a copy of his latest Christmas CD, now is your chance to enter our giveaway!

We Are Thankful

Shirley Holiday Traditions, Thanksgiving 1

November brought status updates from friends stating what they were thankful for. The idea was to begin November 1st and go through the end of November. What the majority did, though, was go through Thanksgiving day, instead. I chose not to do that, certainly not because I wasn’t thankful because I really and truly am!

For me, it isn’t about posting daily just for one month about how thankful you are. It is being truly appreciative and grateful every single day for the many blessings that we have in our lives. Our thankfulness should not be contained to just one month out of the year where we announce to the public what our hearts are grateful for. We should take time each day of the year to reflect on how blessed we are! Further, I think that instead of announcing it on Facebook, we should share it with God in our prayers.

So many times, people only pray when they are in a crisis situation. God seems to be the “go to” in a bad situation. What happens when things are smooth sailing, then? Often times, our heads are never bowed in prayer, nor are our eyes closed as we humble our hearts to hear from our Savior.

We get so busy, some times too busy, that we forget to thank God every single day for what we have and who we have in our lives. He isn’t just there in times of trouble. He is ever present and wants us to acknowledge him daily.

Yes, it is nice to know that when you feel alone in your troubles that you can call on the name of the Lord. But, how about when things are calm and peaceful? Why not thank Him for the calmness in your heart and the peace you feel in your life?

While I may not always get down on my knees beside my bed to pray, I do pray throughout the day. Little whispers as I go about my day, thanking God for keeping my family safe, thanking Him for blessing us and giving us much more than we deserve. Some times just silent prayers between me and my God that are not even spoken out into the universe.

You can pray any where. Honestly. You can pray going down the road in your car. Often times I find myself just uttering, “Thank you, Lord” as I’m driving. Other times I’m on the back of my horse soaking in all of God’s beauty around me. I take time right there to whisper prayers to Him or I silently pray to God as my horse and I go along. I thank Him for these beautiful, magnificent creatures that allow us to love on them and provide hours of enjoyment in the wilderness. You truly feel like you’re in His presence when you’re out in nature. In the middle of the woods, riding near the water’s edge, I like to take a deep breath in and exhale all of the stresses of the world out. I clear my thoughts and my mind, and my heart is focused on God.

We have so much to be thankful for.

My daughter was involved in a car accident at the beginning of November. A guy ran the red light and plowed right into her driver’s door, caving it in. She received some bumps and bruises in the accident, but God protected her so that it was not any worse. I thank God for this! She’s here. She’s walking, talking, smiling again, and enjoying life. My heart is forever grateful that God sheltered her in this accident.

My parents are both still here and are healthy for the most part. Sure, they feel like they have a busy schedule with all the doctor appointments they have to go to, but they are still doing good, all things considered. They came over to share the Thanksgiving feast with us, and I’m thankful that we got to hear their laughter and take silly pictures with them.

We’re blessed in that we have jobs that allow us the freedom to be with our families without feeling pressured or guilty when we do. Our employers realize that family comes first, and that is the way it should be! Too many times, employers feel like their employees should not have a life outside of the work place. They rarely give time off to their staff and drive them like slaves when they are working. We’ve also encountered the employer that insisted that my husband have his work phone on at all times, even when we were on vacation. Thankfully, my husband and I now work for companies that allow us to make our families a priority instead!

God has blessed us financially, not to where we have all the riches in the world, but to where we are comfortably able to supply the necessities for our family of four. We are able to send our children to a private Christian school where they are allowed to pray and share their faith openly. While no school is perfect, we do feel that this school is the best in our area and allows my children to be sheltered from harsh bullying and drug use that goes on at the public schools in town.

We have had the privilege and honor to watch my oldest daughter walk across the stage to receive her high school diploma. While she did not wish to go right into college after graduation, she took a few months to get a taste of what the “real world” was like. She took a job at a local credit union as a teller, and as glamorous as that might sound, she soon learned that adults can be bullies, too. She encountered several adult bullies in the work force, with two being her supervisors. More times than she can remember, she dealt with individuals that were rude, condescending, and down right mean. But it helped her grow as a person and realize that she did NOT want to do this the rest of her life. She stood up for herself and refused to take any more of their abuse, and now that she quit her job, she is looking forward to furthering her education beginning in January! Yes, I will have a college student beginning January 11, 2016! God has blessed us to where we can afford to send her to college for a degree that will help her go far in life.

We truly do have so much to be thankful for, and we are! Each and every day!

Thanksgiving 2015

Men’s Devotional Bible

Shirley Giveaway 2

Recently, I was the recipient of a Men’s Devotional Bible. Sure, I had seen my wife with her brightly colored pink devotional bible for women, but the thought never really crossed my mind about having one of my own. Until I received this gift.

You may be asking what could be so special about the Men’s Devotional Bible, and you may think this is just another copy of the Good Book. However, as I began to take more time to dig into this bible, I saw a daily devotion drawn from the Bible to encourage and strengthen a man’s heart and life. So now we have The Word, and we also have devotional material … just like that of my wife’s bible but geared more toward a man!

Each book of the bible is introduced with a subtitle and a brief overview of its understanding. This is particularly interesting to me as I sometimes find parts of the Bible to be hard to read or understand. Some examples of this are SONG OF SOLOMON 2:8-17 TRUE LOVE’S WAYS and JOB 16 WHEN IT FEELS AS IF GOD IS AGAINST US.

Another interesting feature of this Bible are the 14 articles written to contribute to man’s walk with God and a dictionary of key terms in the Bible.

I recommend this Bible as a unique gift idea any time, but especially now at Christmastime. This devotional bible will help develop any man’s desire to get closer to God, be a better man, husband, or father, and be kept away from daily distractions.

I am very thankful to my wife, Shirley, for the gift of this bible!

If you have a special man in your life that you’d like to give this gift to, why not enter our giveaway below?

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Special thanks to Fly By Productions/Propeller for the opportunity to review such awesome products. Opinions are ours and not swayed in any way due to items received for review.

This review was written by Dusty, Shirley’s husband.

The Absent Father

Shirley God Is Close To The Broken Hearted, Words of Love To My Babies 0

He hasn’t been around for the past few years. Since she turned 16, they “allowed” her to choose if she wanted to come visit. After how she was treated and forced to endure the harassment from her step mom in her tender years as a child, she chose NOT to visit. Others in divorce situations were not forced to go visit if they did not want to do so. They could decide as early as their parents would let them, but in most cases when they reached 13 years old, they could refuse to go. Not in my daughter’s case, though. Her step mom demanded that she visit and then said that by law she HAD to come until she was 18 years old. Yet every time she went, her step mom would say ugly things to her, often harping on her clothes and telling her how they were not good enough. Then the step mom would start in on my daughter’s makeup, and it became the norm for her to be called a “slut” or “whore” due to how my daughter wore her makeup. She preferred eyeliner, while, obviously, the step mom did not. The comments were uncalled for and extremely hurtful. Makeup, nor clothes, make one a “slut” or “whore.” The step mom would often shame my daughter as well. She picked at my daughter about having a tummy, to the point that my daughter would not eat. I did not want her to become anorexic, and I tried to talk to my daughter to undo the damage that her step mom continually did to her by the comments that she made. My daughter has NEVER been fat, not one single day in her life.

We celebrated with my daughter the day she was no longer being forced to endure this torture from her step mom. We danced around the house and were so thankful that it was all over. She had freedom every other weekend now and several weeks during the summer and at Christmas. She did not have to go to their house where she would stay in her room the entire time to try to avoid the harsh remarks and ill treatment from her step mom. Then they labeled her anti social. That simply was not ever the case. She just chose not to be around, out in the open, for her to become a target yet again.

This whole thing has been so heartbreaking to sit back and watch all of these years knowing that I could not do anything about it. By court order, she was to go visit her father. Under normal circumstances, I would never ever have a problem with her going to visit her father. But knowing what she faced each and every time she went at the hands of her step mom … we all dreaded when the time would come for her to go. She would cry the entire time to his house (one hour), begging us not to “make” her go. It wasn’t us, though. Our hands were tied. I tried to talk to her father before about the treatment she was receiving at the hands of the step mom when he was not around, but of course, he defended his wife. The majority of the time when she was there, he was working so he was not around to see or hear the remarks made.

When they finally realized she hated it there, they gave her an out. Thank GOD! If only it had come a few years earlier, though, so she would not have had to endure all that she did …

She had mixed emotions at first. Thankful that she finally had a say, yet disappointed that he’d rather turn her room into his office instead of have her there. It’s hard to deal with emotions like this. She feels torn as she loved when she could visit with him – just him and her brother – yet her step mom did everything to keep them apart when he wasn’t working and everything in her power to make my daughter’s visit miserable. Each … and … every … time! She was not allowed time alone with her dad to bond either. That is what her little girl heart wanted and needed most, though. She would even get up super early in the mornings to go with her dad to the construction sites JUST to spend time with him. Then her step mom would make remarks about that or just flat our refuse to let her go with her dad.

I am a “Daddy’s Girl.” I always have been. It is heartbreaking for me to sit back and see that my daughter craves the attention from her dad, yet he gives none. I have tried to encourage their relationship all of these years. I tried to get him to call her, but he wouldn’t. Then I tried to ensure that my daughter called him. He was the adult, though, so he should have put forth more effort. I, the ex wife, should not have had the responsibility to ensure that they talked during the week between visits. Finally, I stopped. And no phone calls were made by either party. I even called him before to ask if he’d take her out for ice cream, my treat, just so they could have some bonding time together. That never happened to my knowledge. My attempts to make him spend time alone with her doing father-daughter bonding failed. So I stopped that, too.

He came to her graduation in May, but she stood in the hallway moments before the ceremony was to begin with tears in her eyes because she did not think he would show up. I stood out there with her, encouraging her the entire time. “Yes, honey, he will be here,” all while silently praying to God for Him to make sure that man walked through the door! Finally, he did. He had his wife with him, though, and other family members that appeared standoffish. After the graduation, we invited him to the graduation party we were throwing for her. He declined. When we returned home after her party and she went to open his graduation present, she found cheap items from Dollar Tree along with a few framed pictures. She was deeply hurt and saddened that they thought so little of her to give her … THAT … for her graduation.

A week later, we would discover that he rushed down to the Clerk of Court’s office to have the child support terminated. Her graduation was May 22, and the court papers were signed May 26, 2015. He wasted NO time in going to terminate it, yet he was ordered to pay the arrearages due to him not paying several times over the years to where a huge balance accumulated. To date, he still has not paid the arrearages. So, back to court we shall go.

In the mist of all of these months that have passed since her graduation, he has only tried to contact her once. He left a “guilt” message on her voicemail saying something to the affect, “This is your daddy, I thought maybe you needed a reminder of who I was since I haven’t heard from you.” She did not return his call.

She is angry and hurt all rolled into one. The absent father is still causing her pain to this very day.

She found an article online and shared it on her Facebook page about how her father should have been the first man to love her, cherish her and treat her right. It went on to say that he should have tried to have a relationship with her all of these years and how he should have made HER a priority in his life. Her hurt and pain was apparent that evening through her Facebook post. I wrote under it:

I love you more than you will ever know in this lifetime. And I promise to always do everything in my power to make sure you know how truly special you are. I know you miss your dad. I can’t be him, but I can cradle you in my love always. I can’t make up for when he should have been there. But I am here. I am your biggest fan, and I am so proud of the young lady you are. He is truly the one missing out. ((Hugs))

The next night when she was laying on her bed as I passed in the hallway to tell her good night … she stopped me in my tracks as she asked, “What is so wrong with me that my own father doesn’t want anything to do with me?” I sat on the edge of the bed as I looked her in the eyes and said, “Honey, there is not a single thing wrong with YOU. YOU, my dear, are NOT the problem! You are smart, beautiful, and my pride and joy! Your dad is the one with the problem, and he truly is the one missing out.”

We talked for a little while longer. I can still see that she is hurting over not having her father in her life. I want to make this all better and take it all away from her. Yet, I know realistically that I cannot. As hard as I tried for 18 years, I have come to the realization that I cannot make him be the father that she needs, wants, and deserves to have had all of these years. I have stopped wasting my time and energy trying to encourage a relationship with a man that does not have his priorities right in his life. Yes, you can work all your life, but on your death bed, are you going to say, “The one thing I regret is not working more …” ??? NO! You will not! The biggest regret he will have is not making his family a priority, not spending more time with his daughter and not telling her how much he loves her. In my heart, I know he loves her. I am not sure why he will not SHOW it and be there for her … but I realize that people are different in the ways that they love and in how they express their love. I tried to tell him before his father’s passing in 1997 to SAY what he needed or wanted to say to his father so he would not have any regrets later. Their family was not ones to say “I love you” or hug. I tried to encourage him to TELL his father that he loved him. To my knowledge, he did not. He, instead, tried to remain as distant emotionally as possible, and now, years later, he does regret not telling his father what was in his heart. I believe one day, he will have the same regret with not having the relationship he should have had with his daughter and not telling her and SHOWING her the love he has in his heart for her.

While her biological father has been absent the past several years, my husband stepped up years ago when we married and became the father that my daughter needed in her life. While he was her “step” father, he has been more of a father to her than her biological father ever has. We have never tried to replace her real father, but I am thankful that my daughter has had a father figure in her life for the past 17 years. Together, we have tried to give my daughter all the love we can so she will know how truly special she is to us!

If you are a father reading this, MAKE TIME for your child! You do not have to be the absent father any longer. Go to your child if it is where you can, and TELL them how much they mean to you. Start now with mending the relationship between you two, and vow to BE THERE from this point forward. The children need you – regardless if they are infants or 60 years old. They need their fathers in the picture and in their lives!

Life Altering

Shirley My Story, Words of Love To My Babies 0

“Mama … “ a weak voice trailed off followed by deep sobs.

“Somebody hit me.”

Instantly fear and panic filled my body. My baby!! MY BABY!!!!

“Oh my GOD … YOU or the vehicle? Are you okay? Where are you?” I questioned as the blood seemed to drain from my body.

“My car … I can’t … I can’t get out of the driver’s door. I’m trapped.”

I grabbed my purse and out the door I went alerting my coworkers that my daughter was in a car accident.

Racing to the scene of the accident, a million thoughts assaulting my brain! I can’t think. I can’t do anything but get to my daughter, and I can’t even do THAT fast enough!

And there it was. On top of the hill, pushed to the other side of the intersection, was my daughter’s Jeep … with her still inside. Unable to get out.

Police were in the intersection, I put my emergency flashers on and attempted to get my noodle legs out of the vehicle to go to her. A hand in the air from across the intersection insisted that I stay where I was. “But, that’s my BABY …” I pleaded! He shot me a stern look and demanded that I stay where I was. That was one of the hardest things in my LIFE to ever have to do was stay where I was knowing my daughter was still inside the vehicle!

The ambulance was on the scene at this point as well, and I said into the universe, “Oh my God … oh my God … it’s worse than I thought!” as it felt as if my heart dropped completely out of my body.

They were able to help my daughter to safety, and the stern faced officer motioned for me to get inside my vehicle and follow them across the street.

Getting into my vehicle as fast as I could, feeling my hands trembling and my thoughts still being assaulted, I drove slowly through the intersection and what remained of my daughter’s car in pieces on the asphalt.

Reaching the grassy shoulder of the road, I bailed out of my vehicle so fast when I saw her standing there.

My daughter.

Alive.

Breathing.

And I embraced her like I have never embraced her before. She was still crying, in shock, and my heart was eternally grateful that she was still with us.

Oh, Thank you GOD!!!

At the emergency room, it was determined that she had a mild concussion and contusions to her left shoulder and left hip. The driver of the dark green colored Mustang failed to stop for the red light. My daughter, who left the bank mere moments before to go to lunch, proceeded through the intersection once her light turned green … and the rest is what you read above. The Mustang’s driver hit my daughter’s Jeep Grand Cherokee with such force to sling it like a rag doll across the intersection. He hit square on the driver’s door, caving it in.

This event could have been a truly life altering event even more than it has been. I thank GOD for sparing my daughter’s life!!!

This just goes to show you that you can be going about your day doing everything right and due to no fault of your own, your life could change forever.

My daughter is still having headaches and pains in her neck as a result from the accident.

Her Jeep … is a total loss. We’re in negotiations with the Mustang driver’s insurance company to get reimbursed for our Jeep. Although the driver’s door took the brunt of the force from the Mustang, the frame is bent, as is the pole inside the vehicle between the driver’s door and the back door. The driver door would not open, and the back door is warped. In the mist of this, though, is the good news that the steel bar inside the driver’s door prevented the Mustang from coming into the vehicle on my daughter. That steel bar saved her life!

In a single moment, in the time it takes to blink, simply BLINK … our lives could have been altered forever.

I thank God for my daughter, for her safety, for His hand of protection over her.

It is disheartening, though, that friends … those that considered themselves family … have not even called to check up on her after learning of her accident. Alas, God will heal our hearts from that as well.

Appreciate those that you have in your life. Hold them close to your heart, and never EVER take them for granted.

No one is guaranteed another day on this earth, another minute, another second … only God knows the amount of time we have.

I have asked both of my daughters if their hearts are right with God. I have stressed the importance because we just never know when our time is up here on earth. They have assured me that they are saved. I pray that they are.

And I thank God for more time with my daughter.

A Christmas Angel

Gregory Johnson Christmas 0

We all go through difficult times when we feel lost and that there is no hope. I have been through that many times in my life. Occasionally God sends us something that renews our hope and spirit. Something that touches our lives in ways we can never forget. Each year as the holiday season begins, I am always reminded of one of those times when God sent a special gift our way; a Christmas Angel.

It was my sophomore year in high school. My parents had been divorced for five years. Things were difficult for mom as she had two growing kids to feed and clothe with only a small child support check to help out every two weeks. Mom worked two jobs and I was working one day a week to help with the household expenses. But as sometimes happen, that fall several things needed repair and that put mom behind with all the bills.

As the holidays approached, with no knowledge of what was going on, my sister and I began to decorate the house as usual in anticipation of the wonder of the Christmas season. Mom had signed us up to create banners to be hung in church each Sunday in Advent. It was a wonderful family project where the three of us would gather around the dining room table on Saturday night to come up with ideas for a banner to go with the scripture lesson that Sunday.

It was the second week of Advent and we were around the table talking about ideas for that week’s banner. Julia and I noticed something didn’t seem right with the way mom was acting. After about a half an hour of trying to come up with an idea for the banner, mom sat us down and told us that there wasn’t any money for the holidays that year. Things were so bad that we were in danger of having the gas and electric turned off. Mom started to cry and held the both of us for a while. There was a feeling of being lost and alone with no hope for the future that was felt by all three of us.

But mom wouldn’t let that get in the way of us getting the banner for the services the next day. As we began to glue the letter and symbols on to the banner, there was a knock at the front door. It was rather late on a Saturday night, around 10pm or so, so we paused before heading to the door to see who was there. Mom opened the door, but there was no one there only an envelope that was stuck in the screen door with mom’s name on it. Mom walked out on the porch but did not see anyone.

She came back in and sat down at the table staring at the envelope for several minutes. When she finally came to open it, she found $300 inside. There was no note; just cash. We all sat there in silence. God had brought us a gift delivered by an angel. We never found out who the person was or where the money came from. Mom was able to pay the bills and provide us with a nice holiday dinner with the money in the envelope. There were no gift for us that year. But that didn’t matter. We were safe and provided for by God’s spirit and the thoughtfulness of an unknown stranger; a Christmas Angel.

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Light, Love, Hope

Light in the Darkness Surrounded by Love with Hope for those in need.