Light, Love, Hope

She stands at the water’s edge looking off into the distance.  Thoughts rush in and whirl around inside of her brain.  She pauses to inhale deeply, letting all of the cares of the world escape as she exhales.

The beach has long been a favorite of hers, even way back when she was just a toddler.  She’d run to the water’s edge just long enough for a wave to come crashing in.   Before the waves could lap at her little toes, she’d giggle and run on her tippy toes back to the safety that my arms provided.

It’s turning colder now.  Wind whips through her hair as she strolls along the sandy shore.  We call to her from a distance letting her know it is time to go.  She turns, not wanting to leave the one place she feels such peace within her soul.

Lingering for a moment longer, she shoves both hands in her pockets to give one last look at the ocean as the waves continue to roll.

We are saddened that Summer has come to an end.  As we wave goodbye to swimsuit weather, pleasant moonlit strolls on the beach, building sand castles along the shore … we know that we’ll be back for more the first chance of warm weather.

Just as the season’s change, we do as well.  We are forever changing and evolving.  God is not through with us yet.  He works on us daily perfecting us to be the child He would have us to be for His kingdom.  We change; we grow; we live. All for His honor and glory.

Whatever season you are in, make sure to pause to thank the good Lord for all of your many blessings in this life.

Everyone gets discouraged from time to time.  The important thing is not to unpack your bags and live there.  Do not take up residence at Doom-and-Gloom Avenue.  You’re not meant to hang your hat on the back of the door at Discouragement Lane either.

Things happen, and we get disappointed.  Often times, it is due to our expectations surrounding the situation or individuals.

Recently I was disappointed about a situation.  After having done several favors to help a family member out last week, it became my turn to ask a favor from them.  They indicated their willingness to grant the favor, yet when it came right down to it, they couldn’t be bothered.

When something like this happens, it always catches me off guard.  This time was no different.  Having JUST helped them Thursday evening and finding that when Saturday came they were unwilling to help me … that just did not sit right with me at all.  I wasn’t alone in the way I was feeling either as my husband and daughter felt the same way!

It’s hard when this happens.

I’ll admit that I was upset Saturday when I realized that although I was willing to go above and beyond for them – and had proven that several times recently – there are those that are not willing to do the same for us in return.  Then a Facebook quote came to mind that went something like this:  Stop swimming oceans for people that won’t even jump a puddle for you. 

We have a giving nature about us.  If we can help any one in any way, we’re right there extending a helping hand.  Sadly, though, there are those that are unwilling to return the favor. Yet, they will call right up and ask for you to do them another favor … and that is exactly what happened!  They called last night, as a matter of fact.  Well, I’m sorry.  I’m not in the favor granting business right now after having been denied when I asked a small favor from them.  I was really taken aback that they’d have the audacity to call and ask for another favor having just denied MINE!

This is when you learn to say … no!

It’s hard … I’m not going to say that it isn’t.  It has taken me ALL of these years to be able to say “NO!” without feeling the need to justify, state my case, or just over-explain things.  My daughter hasn’t yet perfected saying no … she is new in her adult walk, and she felt guilty for saying no, so when I said no … she said she’d do it instead.  The person still got what they wanted, so I doubt they learned anything in this whole thing.  But I did.  It was a lesson learned by me and my husband.  While we’re willing to do for others, they are not willing to do for us in return.  Now I will not ask anything of these individuals, and I will not be so quick to lend a helping hand or stretch myself to the max to accommodate them as I have done many, many times in the past.

Disappointment?  Yes, I have felt such disappointment and sadness since Saturday.  I could have let it eat at me, consume me even.  I decided NOT to let it have that power over me.  Instead, I have chosen to just be still.  I have talked about it, mulled it over, and now I’ve prayed for peace surrounding this situation.  I’m willing to let it go now.  I do not wish to hold on to it any longer.

Sadness will attempt to take over when you’ve been discouraged and disappointed.  Realize, though, as I did that this is your temporary home at the moment.  Feel the feelings.  Allow them to come, and then roll it around in your head for a little while until you find some form of peace with the situation.  Ask God for help, and I promise you, He will!  Feel sad for a little while if you must – feel disappointment in them and their actions or lack thereof, but do not unpack and live there.  Usher disappointment out and happiness back into your life, your heart, and our home!

It is hard when people disappoint you, but don’t unpack and dwell there. Your feelings are just your temporary home at the moment. Feel them, explore them, and then ask God to help you move on in a better frame of mind.

Erosion control.  That is what is needed.  Things of the world have come rushing in, eroding our morals and values.  Things that were once unacceptable in our world now seem to be welcomed.

When once you could go on a hand shake and someone’s word, people will look you straight in the eyes and lie to you now.

People commit themselves in marriage to the “love of their life” just to turn around and commit adultery.  What ever happened to being true, faithful, and people of honor?  Why have we lowered our standards to accept things of the world?

Just because someone says it’s now okay to have a free spirit or use freedom of speech or freedom of expression as an excuse does not mean that it’s RIGHT!

We all know right from wrong!

Every single one of us!

We have that still small voice inside of each of us that will alert us when we’re reaching dangerous territory.

“Wait a minute now.  Proceed with caution.  You really should NOT be doing this.”  

But do you heed the warning, or do you charge full speed ahead?

What if God was whispering this warning in your ear?  Would you listen?  Would you put the brakes on before you slide right on into sin?

“Careful now, My child.  You’re in the danger zone.  You’re tempted right now, but all you have to do is call on My name, and I will lead you out of this temptation.  Tell the devil to flee from you, and he has to tuck his tail and RUN!  Do not give in!  You are stronger than this.  Hold your head up high and be a person of honor!  I am with you.  And I will deliver you from evil.  You are approaching sinful things.  Turn from sin and stay on the straight and narrow!  Your rewards will be so great in Heaven.  Sin NOT, my child!”

Would that keep you from thinking unclean thoughts?  Would that keep you from lustful ways?  Would it keep you from telling that “little white lie?”

God sees you. He’s right there with every step you take, every single move you make.  He sees, hears, and knows ALL.  There is not a single thing that you can do and feel as if you’re getting by with it as God is a witness to it all.

You wouldn’t steal that pack of gum from the grocery store with the manager right beside you, just as you wouldn’t openly lust after someone with your spouse standing next to you.  Why, then, do you do these things when you have to hide to do them?  Don’t you know that God is ever present?  HE is right there with you when you’re doing these things hanging His head in disappointment.  Why not just do the honorable thing instead?  Make God PROUD, and you won’t be walking around with guilt and shame that practically eats you alive!

If you’ve done things in the past that you are not proud of, now is your chance to repent before God and ask for forgiveness.  Then, turn from your sin and never ever go back in that direction again.

We can ALL be people of honor before God!  He will help us.  All we have to do is call on the name of the Lord!

Sadly, people can’t wait to show you how little they think you matter in this cruel world.  Every where you look people are cutting you off in traffic, being sarcastic to you when you speak, disrespecting you by getting in your face, or are just down right rude in any dealings you have with them.  It’s completely uncalled far, and yet, it seems more common than ever before.

My daughter is getting a taste of the “real world” now working in a bank.  Occasionally she will encounter extremely rude customers, and it is hard to maintain your cool when dealing with people such as this.  It is necessary, though, and she does a great job.  I can tell it is wearing on her, though.

While black and white issues should not be prominent in the workforce, unfortunately, it’s there.  She has encountered issues with this also at the hands of her coworkers.  My heart goes out to her as she struggles with her self esteem and self worth as it is.  This is where I have to encourage her … “Know your worth, darling!” I tell her.  I can see she is struggling, and all I can offer is a pep talk to encourage her and bible verses to let her know that God is ALWAYS by her side.

“If God is for you, who could be against you?”  At times, though, it seems like the whole world is against us.  There’s one person that will always be by our side, though, and He will always be FOR us … and that is God!

I encourage her also to know her worth – know what God says in His world about us.  Refer to scriptures where it talks of the love He has for us and how valuable we truly are to Him.

We strive so hard to gain recognition from man, and often times the praise and approval will never come from those we desire it from the most.  No matter what, we can’t seem to do any thing impressive for those individuals.  This is where you must know your worth!  Their approval is not needed when you already have approval from God above.  You have His love.  His stamp of approval.  His gift of eternal life.  And that, my darling, is all you need.

God thinks you’re worthy.  God sent His son to die on the cross for you.

Know your worth!  You are a child of the KING!

Think of your talents and what makes you unique.  What do you possess that no one else on the face of the earth has?  I’m not referring to material things.  I’m more concerned with your inner beauty.   The light that shines so brightly from your soul illuminating the entire room as you walk in.  The smile that forms across your face that has the ability to warm someone’s heart.  That is what I’m talking about.

What do you have to offer the world?

What gifts do you have that no one else has?  Maybe you are able to show compassion better than the next person.  Perhaps you’ve perfected it, but it is like a lost art to others.

There may have been times in the past where you felt that what you had to offer was not good enough.  Or, maybe you felt that someone else would always come along that would outshine you.

What I’d like you to realize is that no one can do you better than YOU can, and the world NEEDS you.  They need every ounce of what you — and only you — can offer.

No one can warm hearts, provoke laughter, cheer wounded spirits, or encourage someone in the mist of their brokenness … no one like you.

It may seem at times like what you have isn’t worth much, but I want you to know that it’s worth more than all the riches and gold in the universe.  It comes from your heart, and it’s genuine and true.

The world needs more of you.

What do you have to offer the world? Far more than you could ever imagine, my dear, just by being YOU!

Our weekends are usually packed full of activities.  We like it that way!  Usually we all pile in the Suburban with a trailer full of horses behind us as we set out in search of the perfect trail to ride on with our four legged companions.  The past few weekends we have gone in search of Halloween and Fall type activities.

We LOVE this time of year.

We share the majority of our adventures on Facebook with our friends.  It is more fun to share when the action is happening right that minute, too.  What happens after the fact is that people become green with envy.  This has happened on several occasions where remarks have been made about us never being home and how we’re always on the go.  Our 11 year old daughter is normally always with us on these adventures, and while the green eyed monster rears it’s ugly head, what a lot of people don’t take into account is that we are making memories with our baby girl!  We want her to look back with great fondness on her childhood days as she recalls all of the fun activities we all did together.  The pictures I share aren’t to provoke feelings of jealousy inside of others.  Instead, the pictures are my way of preserving the moment with my family.  Once that moment is gone, all we have are the memories and the pictures left behind.  I want them to look back fondly and remember the fun we had.

The thing that gets me is that those that are now green with envy were once with me at a time in my life when I had very little.  They saw me struggle, and now when I’m in a better place, they are not happy for me.  That hurts that they seem to have preferred me when I was struggling, hurting, and lacking.  Yet the moment things improve in my life, they are filled with envy and are unable to be happy for me.

I mustn’t dwell on this, though.  Instead, I must brush this off and go on living my life.  My brilliant, wonderful, beautiful, God filled, lovely life.  It hasn’t always been easy, but I thank God that He was with me through every valley and every hill I had to climb.  He has always been faithful and true, and He will remain that way forever.

A plaque hangs on the wall in the little quint shop we found on the corner with the words:  “Live Laugh Love.”  I pause for a moment and think, “Indeed!”

If you really think about it, they sum it right up.  What are you to do in life?  Well, for starters … LIVE … live it to the fullest!  Wake up in the morning determined to have a great day.  When your eyes open, take time right that minute to thank God for the gift of another day.  Thank Him for all of the blessings you have in your life. If something is troubling you from the day before, give it to Him.  As best you can, offer it up to Him to work out.  Try to leave it with Him as it is better in His hands than wracking your brain all hours of the day trying to figure out how to fix a situation.  God will gladly handle that task for you.  Just focus today on living … completely, without regrets, no looking back.  Feel alive inside as you surround yourself with people that you adore, doing things that you absolutely love with all of your heart.

Laugh.  Oh yes, laugh wildly, uncontrollably at times even.  Laugh so hard that your cheeks hurt and your stomach feels like it has had the greatest workout ever.  Laughter is wonderful for your well being. For me, I try to be as silly as I possibly can and laugh as much as possible!  I know what it is like to have situations that have threatened to steal my joy, so I make more of an effort now to laugh and enjoy life.  I dance around in the kitchen with my daughter.  She laughs at the wicked dance moves I invent, and that makes me want to dance more crazily so she’ll laugh even harder.  I make up crazy names for my animals as I just cannot simply call them the name we gave them when they were first brought home.  This makes my children laugh, and I smile knowing that I have been a bright spot in their day when I call our adorable teacup Yorkie “teeta-in-the-whole-world” or “dahding.”  Need a translation?  Well, it started off as, “Isn’t she the sweetest little girl in the whole world?”  Now “sweetest” was shortened to “teeta” … don’t ask me why, but in my craziness, it was shortened.  What is her real name, you might ask?  Baby.  Yep, that’s right.  Baby!  AND yet, 99% of the time we’re calling her “teeta-in-the-whole-world” or “dahding” … which, of course, means “darling!”  Let’s not even talk about the times we call her “Teeta-Louise.”   What?  We just added a middle name to go with it.  🙂  Are you laughing?  GOOD!!

Moving on …

Love.  That is the most important of all.  LOVE completely, without holding back, with ALL of your heart, soul, mind, and your entire being!  Love!  Without hesitation.  Without building walls.  Without hiding behind insecurities.  LOVE with all that you are!  Some one out there needs the love that you have to offer.  Give it to them!  Whether it’s your parents that need to hear you say that you love them, or your children that need to see your love on display for them in your actions, or your spouse that craves special one-on-one time snuggling together as you have pillow talk … whatever it takes for the other party to feel the love, to receive it, to welcome it, to take your love and return it ten fold!  Love with all of your might every single second of the day.

Now go out into the world and brighten someone else’s day today with the way you’re living, laughing, and loving!

With recent events just this very week, it has been made painfully clear to me that it is time for me to loosen the grip.  I have tried to allow my daughter to grow up and become independent.  Yet, when she is in trouble or hurting, it is hard for me to sit back when I know that there is something that I can do to help her.  Even if that is intervening, even when others would prefer that I didn’t.

By all accounts, she is an adult.  She is 18 years old, has graduated from high school, and she has entered the work force.  She is an adult!  When situations arise, though, she doesn’t have the maturity to handle them, especially when there is conflict or confrontations involved.  She would rather sit quietly while others carry on ranting and raving about her or pointing out her flaws and imperfections in her work.  There comes a time when you have to stand up for yourself, but she is lacking in that one area because she hates a confrontation.  I do, too, but I have spent way too many years with people running over me to allow it at this stage of the game.  In time, she will gain the maturity, as well as the confidence, to stand up for herself especially when there are injustices being done.

This is where I am lacking … I am deficient when it comes to letting go and allowing my daughter to work it out.  I know she won’t stand up for herself, and it hurts this mother’s heart to see her cowering in the corner over things that people are doing to her when she has a voice.  She just needs to learn to USE it.

Mama bear comes out any time any one messes with her cubs.  That is just how I am built, and I know the other mothers in our reading audience can relate to this 100%!  I have spent 18 years fighting for and taking up for my daughter, and now … why should this be any different?

Oh … right …

She’s an … adult.

But to me, when she faced adversity this weekend and all throughout this week, when trouble was raging all around my beloved daughter … I looked into her eyes and saw my frightened little girl.  My mother’s heart broke in a million pieces as I watched my daughter … tears spilling out of her eyelids and down her cheeks … and at that moment in time, I would do anything in my power to make it all better!

This is where I swoop in and get in the face of all those that try to do my daughter wrong.  This is where I use my wings and swat at the ones threatening to steal my daughter’s peace of mind and sanity for that moment in time … this is where I fling my feathers at them causing them to back away from my daughter!

When the dust settles, she’s thankful that I had her back.  She tells me … yet I wonder if I am doing an injustice to her as well by not allowing her to fight her own battles.

This letting go thing is HARD!

It is so difficult to allow her to take flight when she does not seem prepared.  Yet, I know the time has come.  It is here at last.  It has finally arrived for my daughter.

A time to fly.

And I must watch from a distance as she stretches her wings and prepares to jump from the nest.  As I hold my breath, I pray that the wind beneath her wings will catch her as she takes flight.  And in that moment, I will proudly watch her soar.

Patience?  I had none.  Yes, that’s right.

Oh sure, I started out with it … but three hours later, I will admit that my patience had completely run out.

I had plans of a nice, relaxing evening lounging on the hammock by the pool playing with our black rescue kitten.  I got to enjoy about 15 minutes of this before my oldest daughter came home insisting that she just HAD to go get a new phone RIGHT THAT MINUTE.

Apparently, her phone wouldn’t stay charged no matter what.

Now, if you have children, you KNOW that they are completely addicted to their phones, so asking her to wait ~GASPS OF HORROR~ until the next day was just absolutely out of the question.  She was having it no other way.  And, since she was on my account, I had to be there as the authorized account holder for anything to happen tonight.

As much as I protested, she insisted … and I gave in.

Three hours later we are STILL inside the wireless store because they could not get the transaction to go through on swapping out the phones.  Believe me, I WISH I was exaggerating about the three hours, but sadly, I AM NOT!

Frustration was mounting.

My husband joined us, as did our youngest daughter, and we had not eaten a thing yet.  There we were, all of us, stuck inside the wireless store.  What was the latest problem you might ask?  NOW they had turned her phone off under my account and were trying to activate her under a new account – since she’s an adult now and wanted her own plan/bill/etc.

We sat there waiting for them to resolve this.  Some how, some way, we needed a resolution.  Either get the authorization for the new account under her name … or put her back on my account and reactivate the phone.

Lord only knows what my next bill will look like after all the changes tonight.  They’ve reassured me that they’d take care of any extra charges.  We will see about that.

THREE … HOURS … LATER …

We finally decided to run down the road to get supper while we waited for them to work the problems out on their end.  We left my oldest daughter there tending to her new account and new phone – look at her adult-ing!!!!

Wouldn’t you know it – as luck would have it, they LOST our order at the restaurant as we sat there waiting.  Everyone else behind us had gotten their food, and yet … there we stood … still waiting.

Oh Lordy!

We waited .. and all the while I had to try to find humor in this as I recalled looking over the prompt words preparing to write my daily post … what was the prompt word? PATIENCE!!!!

~uncontrollable laughter~

Once they finally realized there was a problem and we hadn’t received our order, they went back there to personally make the meals themselves.  And then we were on the way back to my oldest daughter who was still stuck at the wireless store.

You’d think that would be the end.  Right?  That when I arrived, I would find her standing outside the wireless store happily talking on or using her new device.  Right?

WRONG!!

They STILL had problems, so back inside we went to wait for them to finish and wrap things up after they got the issues fixed.

We walked out of the wireless store trying not to jump up and down on each other’s nerves due to our frustration with the situation — but not with each other!  Honestly, our patience had worn thin hours ago.  We were spent, exhausted, beyond tired and aggravated.

Patience?  I HAD NONE at that point!

What did I do to remain calm throughout this time period?  Honestly, I will have to say that I did a LOT of deep breathing exercises.  And … I prayed silently to myself, probably not as much as  I should have to be able to remain calm.  But, I tried … HARD … literally for hours!

In the mist of this, her boyfriend texted me.  I’ll admit that with everything going on, I was frazzled!  He listened to my rant via text message, added a little rant of his own, and things started to feel a little better on my end as I released a little of the steam that was building between my ears!

With the week we’ve had … trouble with my daughter’s employer … problems with so called “friends” … problems with a pastor’s wife, nonetheless … oh yes … it’s Tuesday, and I can say that I have had quite enough!

Tomorrow will be another day, and we’ll try again on that leisurely evening of laying in the hammock with my little black rescue cat.

For now …

Goodnight.

Thursday night things were wonderful as my family and I visited the county fair.  I watched my oldest daughter practically floating on Cloud Nine.  She smiled, she laughed, she was herself again.

I was thankful.

Friday came and the winds begin to blow in our direction.  Heavy gusts that almost caused us to lose our footing.  They were so powerful as there was a storm brewing.

Heavy rains came in on Friday night shaking us and creating fear and doubt.  Saturday, the storm was here with full force as we tried to take cover.

The emotional storms of life catch us so off guard.  We can be sailing right on through life just having the best time ever when all of a sudden BOOM … lightning crashes, thunder rolls … and you’re holding on and taking shelter the best way you know how from the storms of life.

You try to talk it out – talking always helps.  Yet, in this case, the person is non responsive.  They clam up, unwilling to help when they have the power to do so.  Unwilling to help ease your mind in the mist of the storm.

And you feel tossed in the eye of the storm.

It whirls around, causing destruction …

That is what not communicating will do.  When you’re in the middle of conflict and the other person refuses to talk or refuses to help – destruction is sure to follow leaving debris in its path.

This is what we encountered.

Sunday we tried to let it go and let God take over.  We offered up our concerns to God in prayer, cupping our hands and handing it over to Him.

Take it, God.  It’s yours.

Monday came, and the storms raged on for my darling daughter.  Tossed to and fro, her mother could stand in the wings no longer.  She had to throw a life preserver.  She scrambled any way she knew how to save her daughter in the mist of the storm.

And yet, she is only one person.  She hopes to make a difference.  She tries with all of her might.  Anything for her daughter.

Waiting now for the storm to pass.  Trusting God in the mist of it all.  Knowing that He will see us through even the worst aftermath of the storm.