Feeling Flirty?
This week I had a lot of time on my hands as I stayed two nights in the hospital with my loved one after surgery. While the patient was sleeping, I began reading The Flirtation Experiment co-written by Lisa Jacobson and Phylicia Masonheimer. The book allowed me to pass the time instead of watching the clock, which seemed not to be moving especially in the wee morning hours. It allowed me to also reflect on my own marriage and how to enhance certain areas. Do you want to see sparks fly like when you two first met and fell in love. I do! ~wink~. (Side note: Our marriage of 19 years is going strong, no need to worry. We could be seeing fireworks like the 4th of July, and I’d still want to see more fireworks. Same applies here. Pour on the love, affection, attention, romance, passion … you get the idea. We have those now, but I want MORE! I’m greedy in that regard. ~At Least I’m Honest!~)
Each turn of the page allowed an intimate look into the marriage of Lisa and Phylicia. They were vulnerable putting it all out there, but they did so in a very classy way. At the end of some chapters, they added words from their husbands, Matt & Josh. They were open about their lives, issues they struggled with (like getting too comfortable due to burn out at their jobs thus seeking to shut off there minds at night and just watch television instead of connecting with each other at the end of the day). They expressed how they experimented just to see what would happen and how it improved their already wonderful marriages. They were both pleasantly surprised at the changes in themselves and in their husbands.
What if all readers implemented small changes into their marriages to enhance it or bring the magic back?! What if they already had magic but were longing for more because you just can’t get enough of a good thing (guilty as charged!)?!
Now hear me when I say the book doesn’t promise to perform a miracle in your marriage. It also does not promise to change your husband. The only person you can change is yourself, if you choose to accept this challenge. But, your husband will see the change in you and will likely follow suit as well so you have better quality time together, which is a win-win!
One thing about growing up in a Christian environment, women feel as if they should not seek out their husbands in a sexual way. Why is it always the man’s job to initiate affection, such as holding hands, hugging, and even … ~gasps of horror, I’m gettin’ ready to say it~ … SEX?! It shouldn’t be, as our husbands would like to know we find them attractive and desirable, too. It shouldn’t be a one way street! Now, with this book, it is as if Lisa and Phylicia are pointing out scriptures and giving you permission straight from the Bible for women to stop feeling like men are the only ones that are supposed to initiate things. It is perfectly okay for women to pursue their husbands in this way. AND men will LOVE the change when you start pursing them. (You can still be a “good girl” by doing this no matter what you were made to believe growing up or in your younger days as a Christian wife. Sex should not be a “wifely duty.” The term, to me, is repulsive. If you look at sex as a “duty” and aren’t being fulfilled, something is wrong and we encourage you to seek help in that regard from a professional. You two should be mutually enjoying intimacy through sexual intercourse with each other!)
Romance is in all of Hollywood movies, but it isn’t real life all the time. Women desire romance. Some times men just don’t have a clue in that department, so there is nothing wrong with women showing them how we would like to be romanced. Some times they don’t put forth effort like they used to, so step up and do it instead!
This book goes beyond ones I’ve read in the past, such as The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. We have read this book and others like it. I know my husband’s love language, and he knows mine. As in any marriage, though, it takes effort to prioritize your spouse. Your life is busy. I get it. With raising your children, taking them to their activities, helping with school work, tending to the chores awaiting you at home after a long day at work, it gets too easy to put romance on the back burner.
Don’t do it!!
Start today with this challenge. I won’t promise that immediately you will go from the television sit com Married With Children to the movies that repeat on The Hallmark Channel oozing with romance and passion. But, it’s a great start!
Take hints from these two ladies and see what they implemented and how their husbands responded. Use some of their ideas on your own marriage or use this book to get you thinking of what would work specifically with your husband and your marriage. You know your spouse better than anyone. So put on your thinking cap, turn into your inner Cupid, and reignite the passion that is still in there buried under your adult responsibilities.
Make your marriage a priority! Since this is Valentine’s weekend, it is the PERFECT time to start, but don’t stop there! Keep it going.
Feeling flirty?
Let the sparks fly!
Order your copy today by clicking here!
Many thanks to HarperCollins Christian Publishing for providing this product for review. While I did receive a copy of this book in exchange for my review, the opinions expressed here are all mine.
Devastation
The Covid pandemic has caused devastation across the globe. What started out as a brief quarantine to “slow the spread” quickly turned into jobs lost and businesses closing up, thus crippling our economy.
Believe it or not, the year 2021 marked the beginning of what is known as The Great Resignation. Who even knew that the economic trend of employees voluntarily resigning was even a “thing”?! My husband pointed this out to me recently. The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics show four million Americans resigned midway through 2021.
Why?
It’s easy to speculate on this. As Covid ran rampant in communities everywhere, the workload increased in the healthcare field due to the overwhelming number of cases requiring hospitalizations. Offices, warehouses, and retailers have suffered from shortages of workers also. This is due to those forced to quarantine either due to being sick with Covid or having been exposed to it. The workload shifted to those remaining employees leaving them feeling overwhelmed, overworked, and completely burnt out.
Strong opinions formed on both sides for the vaccinated and the non-vaccinated. Friendships have been lost and employees have quit their jobs over this “debate” on whether our freedoms are being taken away or whether we are doing the right thing by implementing mask mandates and pushing the vaccine.
At one point, the question was, “What is your why (or reason) for getting the vaccine?” My answer was the same at the beginning as to “why” I would consider getting the emergency vaccine and masking up – my family! My answer remains the same as to my “why” for taking a leave of absence from work – my family! I have a family member I will be caring for after major surgery. Subjecting them to any type of illness is just out of the question, especially with what they are facing. I would not be able to live with myself if I was a carrier and ended up being the reason for their decline. Therefore, I voluntarily quarantined for two and a half weeks leading up to their surgery. The risk was too great working with the non-vaccinated and non-masked public. With the wellbeing of others far from people’s minds these days as they argue about their “rights” and “freedom” while putting the older generation with underlying health issues at risk. It was the right thing for me to do so as not to endanger my family, and I did not even hesitate gathering my belongings and leaving my place of work. It’s a sacrifice I made with my husband’s complete support.
Another issue leaving people unsatisfied and unsettled during all of this is the fact that people have been paid by the government to sit at home. In addition to their unemployment benefits, they received an additional $600.00 a week as an incentive to stay at home during this pandemic. Meanwhile, the employees who worked throughout this pandemic did so at their regular salary. How is this fair? They are the ones putting themselves out there in the public, risking getting Covid themselves and bringing it home to their families. Yet, no bonus incentives were given for them showing up daily during all of this. It just doesn’t seem fair at all to reward those not working, yet forget about the loyal employees working through the pandemic. Why not pay them an additional $600 a week or more for working, instead of giving it to those bragging about sitting on their behinds on purpose to draw the additional benefits?! Some even requested to be “laid off” in order to draw the extra money.
In my case, my employer once gave quarterly bonuses for hard work, but it was not for working during the pandemic. When money was tight during the last quarter of 2021, the quarterly bonus was promised for mid January when more money was available after a large billing cycle. I suppose the timing on my leave of absence is what prevented me from receiving the promised 4th quarter of 2021 bonus. Even still, I made the right decision for the sake of my family. Your job will replace you in a heartbeat. They can get another employee to fill your role, although they may not be as efficient as you were or produce the amount of work you did.
Family will win out every time – every single time – without question!
Your job won’t hold you close, cherish or treasure you, but your family will.
We are thankful we have made it this long and this far without being inflicted with Covid. We pray for continued health and for my loved one’s swift recovery so they can enjoy life once again.
Worthy
Walking through the quiet house with laundry in tow I shout over my shoulder, “Alexa, play some music.” It’s like she knows me and announces, “Here’s a station you might like: love songs on Amazon Music.” While it might not be the perfect music to do chores around the house, a song intrigued me as I folded the laundry. I was convinced Adele was the vocalist. However, when I asked Alexa who the artist was singing this particular song, it was NOT Adele after all! Instead, it was Lauren Daigle singing “You Say.”
This song lifted me up today as I was lost earlier this morning in my thoughts; consumed with worry and anxiety. A family member is having major surgery in the morning, and I do not handle things well when a family member’s health is threatened. Faith as small as a mustard seed is all that is required, and I have more than that. God already knows the outcome, and no matter how much I would like to control this situation, I cannot. God is in control, and we must trust Him.
We pray, we give it to God, and in our human nature, we take it back again and worry over it as if our anguish will change the situation. It’s the fear of the unknown. And yet, God has not given us a spirit of fear. Others remind us that our worry, fear and anxiety are a sin. But … I’m only human, and this is my beloved family member. I want many more years on this earth with them! I pray it will be so.
We bargain with God, state our case, and then just outright beg and plead. God knows our heart, and He knows it’s the love we have for our family member that is the driving force. Our love is so strong. Now our faith needs to be just as strong.
The best way to shift my mindset from worry and fear is to begin praising God through song. Today, I sang this song for the very first time. It wasn’t perfect by any means, as parts are too low for me, but I sang from my heart to my God. He is worthy to be praised!
Click here for my version and sacrificial praise to God in YOU SAY.
The words of the song spoke to my heart. This world likes to tell us we’re not good enough. God is right there reminding us of our worth and value. When we feel weak, as I did this morning, God reminds us of our strength, which is through Him. When we feel like we’re falling short, God holds us close and reminds us of who we are. We are His.
As much as I love this family member, God loves him even more. I must lay all my worry, fear, and anxiety at His feet and trust in Him. He has the final say.
