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Light, Love, Hope

Light in the Darkness Surrounded by Love with Hope for those in need.

Weekend of Love

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How was your weekend of love?  Did you do anything special on Valentine’s Day with your sweetheart?  Flowers, chocolates, candlelight dinners … they are all so nice!  What a way to show your special someone how much you care!  But, you know what?  They shouldn’t just be “celebrated” one day a year just because that day has been set aside as a lover’s holiday.  You should be striving to show your husband or wife DAILY how much they mean to you.

Do you share anything in common with your spouse?  Besides children, do you have any thing that you do together?  Or, does your spouse have a hobby that is different from your own?  If possible, just try something your spouse likes.  It will make a difference to them that you’ve shown an interest and are alongside them in their favorite sport or hobby.

For me and my husband, I am thankful to say that we share several of the same interests.  From horseback riding, fishing, camping, and things of that nature, we enjoy doing things together side by side.  I hear of a lot of couples that go their own way in this area.  Some times it works out fine if there is a group of guys that go golfing.  However, if there is a lady in the mix that shares the same interests as your husband and ends up spending more time with him than you do, trouble will soon begin to brew.  The same can happen if a man shares an interest in an activity that your wife is involved in.  You would be surprised to learn the number of affairs that begin with something so simple as a desire to work out, get fit, and become healthier.  If you go to the gym alone, you might develop wandering eyes while you’re there.  It’s just better to go with your spouse, in my opinion.  Find something that the two of you can do together to keep the interest and adventure alive.  It will matter if you take an interest in something your spouse enjoys.  Think of how you’d feel if your husband took a sudden interest in something you love to do, too.  It works both ways.

Our weekend of love was spent together by having dinner and a movie out just the two of us on Friday night.  Then Saturday we went horseback riding with our youngest daughter.   We all three share the love of horses, and the faster my daughter gets to go on her horse, the more smiles, laughter, and giggles you will get out of her.  At one point, we three lined our horses up as if we were going to race, and we had the best time loping across an open field together.  With the wind in our hair, feeling as if we were riding the magic carpet each time our horses went into a full gallop, with smiles plastered across all three of our faces.

In between trail riding and galloping our horses, my daughter enjoyed playing on the monkey bars, sliding on the curvy slides, and swinging together on the swing set at the park by the pond.

Later, my daughter’s only request was Subway for dinner.  She was easy to please!  And so, we had Subway before we headed back home.

Sunday we spent a leisurely day together at home with both daughters.  I’m thankful that my 18 year old daughter still likes to hang out with the family.  We made potato soup and stayed inside as much as possible since the high was only 37 degrees here in the South!

We enjoyed our weekend of love together as a family.  We hope you took time for your family as well this weekend.

As we go forward, make sure to do something daily to let your spouse and your children know that you are thinking of them and love them.  Don’t just celebrate them one day a year because you feel obligated to do so.  They deserve to be shown your love daily!

Saving Valentine’s Day

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Thursday afternoon my husband attempted to surprise me by picking me up in his classic 1989 Camaro Iroc-Z.  This black beauty of a car has always held a special place in his heart.  It is the first car that he purchased with his money “back in the day.”

He held my office door open for me and then escorted me to the passenger side of the car.  As he opened the door, I saw a balloon that said “I love you” along with a large box of chocolates and a card!  How sweet!

Once inside the sports car, he leaned in to kiss me.  This was going to be THE greatest start to Valentine’s Day EVER!

Until …

The roaring thunder of the engine quieted as we began losing power.  My husband was embarrassed as his plans, in his mind, were ruined.  We coasted into the nearest parking lot which just happened to be by the bank’s ATM machine across the street from my place of employment.

He got out of the car and attempted to find the problem.  Although we had just recently put a fuel pump on the car, we feared this was where the problem was stemming from.  Since it is a classic, this isn’t a car that we drive every day.  Sitting up did not help this car, and unfortunately, this was the result.

My husband became more red faced by the minute as his embarrassment turned to anger.  His best laid plans were falling apart at the seams.  I tried to reassure him that it still hadn’t ruined what he planned and we just had to make the best of it.  Easy for me to say, right?  But, it was true.  Getting mad wouldn’t do a single thing to solve the situation we were in.

People were waiting in line behind our car, and he waved them past at this point.  I was surprised by the lack of people that actually cared and tried to help.  There was NO one at first.  Then, as he tried to push the heaviest car in the universe out of the exit lane of the bank and into a parking space, someone got out of their vehicle and came running over to try to help him push it.  I volunteered, too, but he insisted that I stay inside the vehicle since the car was so heavy.  Another gentleman got out of his car at that time and helped push, too.  My faith in humanity was restored at that point when those two people tried to help us!   The first one worked at a part’s store and suggested what might be the problem, which was the same as my husband suspected; the fuel pump!  They suggested that he could beat on it to loosening up any “junk” that had gotten trapped in the fuel pump, so my husband went to the hatchback and pulled out his tools.  Nothing seemed to work, so he went to put the tools back in the hatchback only to discover that the hatchback would not close now!  Frustration was mounting as he attempted several times to close the hatchback.  I tried, in between slams, to ask him to come sit beside me in the car.  He would have none of that as he continuously slammed, slammed, and slammed some more with each time feeling as if my ear drums were going to burst as I was still sitting inside the car!

Finally I just yelled over the slams in my sweetest voice ever … “HONEY … we have AAA!”

A look of bewilderment swept over his face as he didn’t seem to really grasp what I said.  He paused for a moment, then slammed some more.  The hatchback just was not going to close that day!

I took out my cell phone, nervously noticing that the battery was dying!  Ugh!  Of all days NOT to charge my phone while at work … ah, but I would use it until it stopped working completely.

I dialed the number for AAA roadside assistance, told them of our location, what car we were in, and they reassured me that someone would be there within the hour.  I was dreading telling my husband that we would have to wait an hour, but knowing that it was an hour we were together was all that truly mattered!  I finally got him to sit down beside me in the car. I hugged him, and despite temperatures in the 40s, I joked that he had worked up quite a sweat!  We laughed at that, and then he looked at me almost in disbelief again and asked, “We have AAA?”  To which I replied, “Yes, remember I told you that I signed us up last year?  It won’t cost us anything to have the Camaro towed.”  The look of relief on his face was priceless as he teased, “Why didn’t you just SAY so?!”   Um, I TRIED!!  We got a good laugh out of this, and within a few minutes my dying cell phone rang.  It was the wrecker service calling.  They were right down the street from where we were stranded at the bank ATM parking lot.  It wouldn’t be an hour after all.  Instead, they were going to rescue us in just a few minutes.  GREAT NEWS, which I immediately passed on to my husband who was smiling by now.

When the wrecker service arrived we were actually smiling and joking with each other.  As they were loading the Camaro on the roll back, I got inside the cab of the wrecker.  My husband immediately took a picture of me, and I was quite impressed that my phone hadn’t completely died yet!  It was still hanging in there, just like us!  My husband later joked that this was my white limousine.

saving valentine's day

Within 20 minutes we were home, and I, of course, had to take a picture to mark the occasion as well.   Notice his lip poking out in this picture as his precious Camaro is being lowered off of the roll back.

saving valentine's day lightlovehope

And that, ladies and gentleman, is what you call SAVING VALENTINE’S DAY!

Thank God for AAA!

 

 

God’s Favor

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Last week my husband walked into his office a career man.  Six hours later, he was overcome with emotion as he was told that his employer of 17 years was laying him off.  Imagine the shock, disbelief, and feelings of betrayal that swept over him in waves as he tried to grasp what they were saying to him.  He had been a huge part of the company, a key employee, for the better part of 17 years, and this is the thanks he gets?  Laid off?

Oh sure, they reassured him that there wasn’t anything he’d done wrong.  It came down to money issues at the company.  Although my husband made the company a million dollars in the year 2014, another coworker and project manager lost the company a significant amount of money on another project.  Yet, my husband was the one to take the fall for this.  No, they didn’t blame it on him as they knew full well who was over that project.  But, being as this guy was the vice-president, they certainly weren’t going to can him.  Instead, they decided to lay my husband off.

Years ago I told my husband NOT to idolize his job.  I remember times that he seemed to put his job before his family.  That wasn’t right, and he has since corrected that way of thinking.  But, he did love his job so much and enjoyed what he was doing.  He served that company well for 17 years!  However, one should never put their job so high up on the pedestal thinking that they are untouchable or that they have security in that position.  One would think that after 17 years of hard work, loyalty, dedication, and devotion that it would matter a great deal to the company, but in this case, we can all see that, sadly, it did not.  My husband was slammed with feelings of betrayal as he gave so much to this company, and yet now he’s being told that his employment has come to an end.  He felt stripped of his position, as well as his company truck, and other perks that came along with his job.

I received a text prior to my husband’s meeting with the executives of that company.  I could tell he was nervous as any one would be upon getting called into a meeting like this that wasn’t the norm for their line of work.  Trying to reassure my husband, I wrote back these words:

God is already there.  He knows the outcome of this meeting,

and He is in control.  We just have to trust him.

When my husband called shortly thereafter and told me the news last week, I still had peace in my heart as I said:

Oh baby, I’m so sorry.  But, I know that God is going to take care of us! 

We just have to have faith, even faith as small as a mustard seed. 

He responded that he had that, and I reassured him that everything was going to be okay.

Upon arriving home that evening, I hugged my husband and held him close to me.  He was wracked with fear and worry.  I just looked into his grief stricken eyes and told him again that God is going to take care of us.

We had to go in to his former employer last Friday to clean out his office.  As you can imagine, he had a lot of things he accumulated in the past 17 years.  His former boss came into his office not expecting to see me there with him, and when he did, the man became visibly nervous stuttering his speech and hands shaking right where he stood.  He should have been nervous and shaking because he wasn’t only doing this to my husband, but he was doing this to our entire family.  We have two children to provide for!  He knew that, too.  It didn’t seem to matter until he came face to face with me in that office.  He needed to look into my eyes as well to see how this was affecting me, too, as my husband and I are a team.  He wasn’t the only one going through this.  We all were.

We drove away with the fear of the unknown riding right along with us weighing us down.

And so the job search began.  Thankfully, my husband had contacts that he built a friendly working relationship with through the years.  They started calling him as they heard the news of his lay off.  As the calls started coming in, it was a mixture of disbelief and great sympathy for what our family was now facing.  They had a great outpouring of support for my husband, and it touched our hearts and brought tears to our eyes on several occasions.  One in particular spoke to me, and he truly felt for us in this situation.  This individual gave my husband several job leads, which we greatly appreciated.  Several others called him with job leads as well.  My husband began contacting the people as suggested but wasn’t sure if there truly was a job need there at these places that were mentioned.

This week was especially difficult as we hadn’t heard anything from the leads from last week.  I reminded my husband that it had only been a few days, and it would just take time.  In the meantime, he signed up for unemployment benefits.

Along with losing his job, we were losing our health benefits.  Sure, they offered COBRA, but no one can afford $1200 a month.  Yes, that is per MONTH!  How in the world do they expect us to pay that kind of money when he just lost his job?  So, that was out of the question.  We then had to go in search of affordable health insurance, which was no small task I’ll have you know!

To add to the stress we were all feeling, my oldest daughter went to take a placement test at a technical college, all that we will be able to afford now for sure, and failed that test.  She had so much anxiety from everything going on that she got too nervous and just went blank.  She felt just terrible afterwards, too, but there is an opportunity to take the test again in the future.

Also at that time, our youngest daughter came down with a 102 degree fever.  To say we were stressed to the max is the understatement of the year!   We took her to the doctor, and THANK GOD she did NOT have the flu!  Whew!

After all of this, my husband finally just lost it.  He went out into the yard and vented a little.  No one can blame him, really, considering everything that has just happened.  The man lost his job of 17 years.  He’s entitled to let his feelings out.

He felt like he was hitting rock bottom, but you know what?  God was right there at the bottom when he hit, and God lifted him right up.  He scooped my husband up into His strong arms and allowed my husband to rest his weary head upon His shoulders.

Later, I told him that his former employer had already taken so much from us.  We can’t let them do this to him … to us.  We can’t let them dissolve our faith and leave us in a puddle of tears.

He got out his Joel Osteen daily devotional, and it talked of how doors were going to open for him.  It was ironic that the message for that day said those words.  The words he needed to hear right at that moment!

And what happened next floors us!

He got a call to come in to just talk to see if something could be worked out with a competitor.  This guy had a working relationship with my husband in years past, but when he became a competitor, they were then competing against each other in the same line of work.  They kept things friendly, but they could no longer speak at length since they were bidding on the same projects!

This call couldn’t have come at a better time!  My husband was starting to lose hope very early on in this situation even though I told him repeatedly to cling to Jeremiah 29:11.  I even prayed:

Dear Father, we KNOW that you have plans to prosper him and not to harm him.  We KNOW that you have plans to give him a hope and a future.  We CLAIM this right now in Your Holy Name!  Amen

My husband did set up a meeting that afternoon, and he went in to speak at length with them to see how he could help them.  He waited on pins and needles for a call back.  The very next day, the phone rang, and it was this company saying that although they did not presently have a position open, they would MAKE ONE for him!

Again, we were overcome with shock and disbelief, but in a GOOD way!!!

They offered my husband a position that they are creating to help get caught up on a few projects.  If, after a few months, my husband really likes the job and they like him, they will renegotiate for a more permanent position.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this was our GOD at work!

There is no other explanation for things to have transpired the way they did!  From my husband being distraught last Wednesday to a week later … A WEEK … receiving a call that they were going to create a temporary position for him.  We’ll take it!!!   Oh thank you GOD!!!

The guy said that he could imagine the feelings of getting laid off were similar to that of going through a divorce.  He said he wanted to help my husband and our family out, and I told my husband that I would hug that man right that minute if I could!  🙂

Immediately upon hearing the news, tears filled my eyes and spilled out all over my face as I praised God and thanked him repeatedly for what he had done for my husband and for our family!  My husband said he dropped to his knees to thank God also!

My God answered prayer in lightning speed!  And we are SO grateful!

God’s favor.  That’s what it was.

God’s favor!

True Story, Bro!

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Several years ago my fiancé and I decided to take a trip to Charleston.  It was a place that we absolutely loved due to the history of the city as well as the beauty that you can feast your eyes upon in that holy city.  From views at Battery Park of the harbor where you can watch the dolphins at play, to the cobblestone streets, to historic churches and even places like the haunted jail that has a story to tell.  There is never a dull moment in this city!   The beaches are so close that we have to hop on over to Folly Beach, Sullivan’s Island, or Isle of Palms when we’re in the area.  It’s always worth the trip!

This wasn’t just any ole trip, though.  On this trip, my fiancé intended to propose to me.   I could tell several days leading up to this trip by the way he was acting and the things he was saying.  Sure, we had talked about getting married “one day,” but he was Mr. Five-Year-Plan.  I can laugh at that now.  At the moment, though, I was not amused.  Five years?   Really?  You want me to wait FIVE years?  Hmmmm … my biological clock was ticking as I certainly wasn’t getting any younger, and he talked of wanting three children … and yet, he was saying he had a five year plan.  Hmmmpht!

My daughter, from a previous marriage, was with us the day that he intended to pop the question.  He wanted to be sure that she was present because she would very much be a part of our family.  He wasn’t just marrying me.  He was accepting my daughter into his heart and life as his very own daughter as well.  This was huge for us!  This little blonde haired, blue eyed girl was bouncing around every where.  She had so much energy bottled up inside of her little five year old body.

My fiancé picked us up at our house and drove ever so nervously to Charleston.  He did not have a lot to say on the way there as I later learned that he had butterflies in his stomach.  He was a bundle of nerves for sure as halfway there, I rolled my window down somewhat and had my fingers still on top of the glass when he accidentally hit the button causing the window to roll up on my fingers.  Ouch!!  

Yep, this is a true story, bro!

He apologized profusely, but he just knew that wasn’t in his favor and that this proposal thing wasn’t going to go as he had originally planned.  However, I got over the window incident and was determined that we were going to have a great day together.

It was just after Valentine’s Day in 2002, and the weather was perfect that afternoon.  It wasn’t too cold, and it wasn’t too hot.  It was JUST right!

We arrived at the Battery Park, and we started walking along the Charleston Harbor.  We love looking at the houses on Rainbow Row also.  As you can tell by the name, they are a variety of colors, and it just makes for a beautiful setting.

As we strolled along, I could sense him getting more nervous by the minute.

We walked further around the Battery Park and then over by the cannons that line the park.  I climbed on the cannons with my daughter as we laughed and played.  After that, we climbed the steps of the giant gazebo which was centered in the middle of the park.  There is something so magical about this gazebo.  While I have always loved the looks of a gazebo, this was the perfect setting under the mighty oak trees where many a weddings had taken place.  I looked out over the harbor at the ocean lapping at the concrete wall while my daughter went up and down the gazebo steps about a million times.  When I turned around, my fiancé was on his knee in front of me with his arms outstretched holding a little tiny black velvet box in his hand.  I looked into his eyes, and about that time, my daughter had reached the final step, saw what was taking place, and let out a big gasp, then a squeal!   Even at age five years old, she knew what this meant!  He called her over to take her place beside me, and he asked for us to be his family.

Of course, I said YES!!!   Swollen fingers and all.  Just kidding on the swollen fingers part! 

As we approach Valentine’s Day each year, my thoughts always go back to the day he proposed to … us.  My daughter has been very much a part of us from the very beginning.  He knew when we were dating that my daughter was my heart, and there was no way he was even meeting her until I knew for sure that he was going to be in my life for a long time.  I did not believe in introducing my daughter to men that didn’t intend to stay.  So, she would only meet him if he was to be a part of our future.  When we grew serious in our relationship and I could see the direction this would take, I introduced them at that time.  He has been a great father to her all of these years.  My daughter is now 18 years old, and she still calls him “Daddy.”  We were blessed with another daughter ten years ago, and she has completed our little family unit.  We love both of our girls with all of our heart and soul.  We thank God for sending his angels from Heaven for us to love and care for here on this earth.  We are truly blessed!

This Valentine’s Day, think of something romantic that you can do with your spouse.  Is there a special place that he took you when you were dating?  Do you have a story like we do that will warm your heart and also make you laugh in the middle some where?  If so, reminisce with your sweetie this Valentine’s Day. OR, better yet, pack a picnic and go back to that spot where he proposed to you to reflect on the memories that you hold near and dear to your heart.  We have done this a few times through the years.  It might be time for us to revisit with picnic basket in hand and our two darling daughters in tow.

Love.  It is a beautiful thing!

 

Encourage Your Spouse

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Maybe he feels defeated due to things beyond his control.  Or, he just might feel a bit discouraged that things are not going as he had planned in other areas of his life aside from marriage.  In times like these it is especially important to think of ways to encourage your spouse.

My husband and I had a hard day Monday.  Our ten year old daughter started running a temperature of 102 degrees at school.  Seeing as how we’ve heard so much about the flu running rampant in our state causing several deaths, we were greatly concerned when she complained of her head hurting, body aches, as well as vomiting.  We took her to the doctor where, thank GOD, they determined that she does NOT have the flu.  Praises, praises, and MORE praises to God above!!   While that was one concern that was put to rest, we were still very much concerned with her symptoms and fever.

There were several other things coming at my husband that started last week and has the potential to threaten our future.  When we all finally arrived at home Monday evening, he disappeared.  I looked around in the house, but I did not see him right away.  I figured he may have needed a minute and may have retreated to his emotional man cave.  After a little while, though, my worry got the best of me, and I had to check on him.  I tiptoed down the hallway to our room where the light was off, but I sensed that he was sitting there in the darkness.  Sure enough, he was.  I flipped the light on to find him sitting on the edge of our bed with his head in his hands.  He was feeling a bit defeated due to recent events, so I just walked over to him and put my arms around him.  He let out a big sigh, and I knew he was struggling at that moment.  I held him for a few minutes, tightening my hold around him as I felt him deflate in my arms as he finally let go of what was bothering him.  He spoke of his concerns, and while I don’t have all of the answers, I can reassure him with my love.  No matter what is going on, we are in this together.  We are a team, and we will walk this road hand in hand, side by side, a united front!

After a few minutes, he felt enough relief from his mental anguish to join me and our children at the dinner table.  As we sat down to eat together as a family, we stretched our arms out to join hands as we always do.  My husband bowed his head and began to pray.  He prayed a simple, yet heartfelt prayer.  God knows his struggles, and we also know that our GOD is bigger than any thing that comes at us that threatens to steal our joy.  We know that we don’t have to walk this road alone, and we don’t have to try to figure all of this out.  God was already there when this situation was unfolding, and while the fear of the unknown grabs us at time paralyzing us, God knows what the future holds.  We just have to trust in God, and we DO … and we ARE  … and we will CONTINUE to do so!  I have often reminded my husband of a bible verse that I cling to in hard times:

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,

“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

If your spouse has had an extremely hard time as of late, reach out your hand and take theirs firmly in your own.  Look them in the eye, and tell them that everything is going to be okay.  Maybe not today … maybe not tomorrow … but it will.  We have God’s assurance, and we are holding on to God’s word and His great and mighty hand!

How can you encourage your spouse today?

 

 

 

 

 

National Marriage Week

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Saturday, February 7, 2015, kicked off National Marriage Week.  Did you even know there was such a thing?  If you didn’t, you do now!

Marriage is so incredibly beautiful, and honestly, it is probably one of the hardest things you will ever have to work at.  Once you chase the girl and catch her, your job is not over.  You still have to continue to do everything within your power to show your wife that she is your number one priority and still the love of your life.  Likewise, ladies, you can’t let yourself go after marriage.  Strive to be the best that you can be for yourself, your husband, and later when children arrive on the scene.

The number one thing is to remember that there are not just two of you in this marriage.  There are three.  Christ should be in the center.  God ordained marriage, and He intended for man and woman to be together laughing, loving, sharing, building each other up, and holding each other in hard times.  A lot of times people will blankly repeat the wedding vows back after the preacher says them during the wedding ceremony, but how many truly mean the words that they say?

“For better, for worse, In sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live”

That means it is the two of you bound together as you walk through life no matter what comes your way.  We all want to be healthy and stay that way, and that is my wish for you as well as myself.  We all want things to be happy all of the time and peaceful, and yet, it rarely stays that way.  Things can get rocky at times as people endure health problems, financial difficulties after the loss of a job, or even in-law issues … but the thing is that you work through all of them together.

I’m sure you’ve heard the old familiar song “Stand By Your Man …”  I have and will continue to do so.  We are a team, and we are in this together.  I urge you and your spouse to stand together, too.  Hand in hand, heart to heart, never ever to be apart.  You two need to be a united front no matter what you’re going through – go through it together!

This week, focus on your marriage and the partner that God has given you in this life.  Let them know that they still light your fire.  Reassure them of your love and commitment you made to them.

Happy National Marriage Week, Everyone!

 

 

Confession: I Read Fifty Shades of Grey

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Brace yourself!  I have a confession to make.  Are you ready?

Here goes.

~deep breath~

Confession:  I read Fifty Shades of Grey.

There.  I admitted it.

Now before I start losing readers left and right, allow me to explain why.

There is a lot of hype in the media about these series of books and now the movie that is coming out around Valentine’s Day.  While men have feasted their eyes on pictures and videos of pornographic images for a million years, I guess society thought it was high time that women were introduced to this level of what some are calling erotica.  Truth be told, though, it was in all of the Harlequin Romance Novels way “back in the day.”   I was not a fan of those romance novels, though.  I would rather live the fairy tale in real life with my husband instead of read about some far fetched, over reaching fantasy land where the knight and shiny armor comes riding in to save the damsel in distress … and they have mad, passionate sex in the middle of it all.  I don’t want to read about the perfect guy that will romance you and sweep you off of your feet because truth be told, there is no such thing as the perfect guy.  They might come close, but no cigar.  But what I do know is that I have the guy that is perfect for me:  my husband!

I guess you could say that curiosity killed the cat.  I bought into all of the media hype and had to find out for myself what all the hype was about!   So, I bought the first book on my Nook Color.  Other women had this book out as if they were flashing it around proudly as they let everyone on the beaches and by the pools know exactly what they were reading.  I took a different approach as I’d rather not advertise to the world that I’m reading a “naughty” book.  The only person that needed to know that I was reading this book was my husband, and yes, I was honest with him about it.  I did not hide this in the darkness away from him.  It was hidden out of sight from onlookers, as well as my children as I wanted to be sure that this book did not fall into their hands as it is highly inappropriate for their eyes.  Being an adult, though, I did not think it would hurt to see what this book had to offer.

It is a made up story with lots and lots of material that could be quite offensive to the vast majority of people due to the content.  They talk about bondage, torture, and pain being inflicted for the sole purpose of providing pleasure to the recipient.  That sounds odd in and of itself, but there are some individuals that love this stuff.  They don’t consider it weird or twisted.  They enjoy it and find it pleasurable, but it has to be something they both consent to.  It has to be something that the couple would enjoy and be interested in sharing together.  Otherwise, it would violate the other.   A lot of people consider this abuse or abusive in nature.  It would be, if it was not mutually agreed upon and something that both parties consent to before they get started.  That is hard for some to grasp.  Believe me, I understand completely.  I think that I tend to be a bit more open minded in this area, which will surprise the vast majority that know me especially since I appear to be a Miss Goody Two Shoes to a lot of people!  Now isn’t that funny – Miss Goody Two Shoes not only read the book series, but she’s talking about it openly on her blog!  Yep.  I sure am!

The thing is, if this does not appeal to you – if it does not peak your interest – don’t read it and don’t go see the movie when it comes out.

For me, I was a tad bit curious what all the hype was about, so I did read the first book.  I found that once I got through the first round of explicit details on their “play time,” the rest of it really didn’t impact me.  I have not lead a sheltered life.  I know what they are referring to, and I know that a lot of people reading those scene – yes, it could be women as well as men – could become sexually aroused if they were into this type of “scene.”  Others, though, could skip right over the “raunchy” parts and focus on the story line.  Ultimately, that is what I ended up doing.  And you know what?  When I did that, I found the book interesting so much so that when I got to the end of the first book I slammed it shut saying I was NOT going to read the rest of the books … yet found myself right back at my Nook Color within a few days because curiosity killed the cat again, and I just had to find out what happened next in the story line.

Believe it or not, this movie that shows a powerful business man completely taken by a very submissive young lady, does actually have a love story and isn’t just about sex, bondage, torture, etc.  Their love story will captivate you and hold your interest so much that you will want to see what happens in the other books just as I did.  I could care less about all the explicit details of their made up sex life.  I wanted to find out why Christian was the way he was, and the book did dive into this.  When it reached that point in the story line, I was satisfied with the money I spent because of how deep the story actually went in that direction.  Further, they do live happily ever after … with a twist toward the end of the third book.

Will I see the movie when it comes out?  Probably not!  I read the books, and my curiosity was satisfied with that.

A lot of people are up in arms over the books as well as the movies.  I say that if this is not your cup of tea, don’t read it, and don’t watch the movie.  If curiosity got the best of you like it did with me, read until your curiosity has been satisfied.  If you don’t want to read all the explicit details, skip over those parts in the book like I did.

There is no need to lose your peace of mind over this.  Some will be for it, some will be against it.  It’s all what your personal tastes are in this area.

Is it porn for women?  It could be categorized as such due to the erotic nature of some of the content in the book, but to me, it is no different than the Harlequin Romance Novels.  If those have been socially acceptable for years, why the uproar now with Fifty Shades of Grey?  That’s the big question to me.  I think that people were okay with the erotic nature of the romance novels simply because it was a tender love story surrounding the sex scenes in the books.  However, the problem with Fifty Shades of Gray is the BDSM content.  I think if the bondage scenes and the torture scenes of the consenting parties were not in the books or the movie that is coming out, there would not be any problem at all with Fifty Shades of Grey.

The bottom line for me is that if it doesn’t interest you, don’t read it or watch it.  If you find it offensive, stay away from it.

Could the content within the books and movie cause one to stumble?  Yes.  It could lead one to fantasize about the characters in the books.  It could also lead one to express a hidden interest in BDSM that they’ve never verbalized before.  It could lead one to lustful thinking and ways.  BUT … so could other things out there like the romance novels of yesteryear and the racy sex scenes on daytime soap operas.  If you read the books and express your interest in the “scenes” with your spouse, and you both mutually consent, I see no problem as long as you both focus on each other and NOT on fantasizing about the characters in the book.  It’s no different than reading about different sexual positions to try with your spouse. Would you say those types of self help books for couples are inappropriate?  If you use those between yourself and your spouse within your marriage, I have no issue with that either.

Ultimately, it is up to you as to if you read the book or watch the movie when it comes out.  But, before you listen to anyone bashing the content or before you jump on the bandwagon, realize that what interests some people won’t interest others … and that is perfectly okay!  To each their own.  I am not going to stand in judgement of anyone that reads or watches Fifty Shades of Grey.  I caution you not to either.

That’s my two cents, for what it’s worth.

23 Blast Movie

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Wow.   That’s all there is to say after watching the movie 23 Blast!

This powerful movie is based on the true story of Travis Freeman and takes you through the real-life struggles he faced.  You see, Travis was at the top of his game (football) when he contracted a serious infection that left him blind.  This all happened so suddenly, and it took them all by surprise – him, his parents, as well as his classmates and teammates!

I won’t spoil the movie for you, don’t worry.  But, I would like to share how it spoke to my heart.

We were shown through this movie a glimpse of how this life altering event truly impacted Travis.  Initially, in his shock and disbelief, he became depressed, and who wouldn’t after something like this happening?!   He had high hopes and dreams, and yet now, he was surrounded by darkness.  Literally.  His vision was taken, and at that time, he thought it impossible to accomplish all that he originally had in mind.

Through the love of his parents, and with friends who encouraged him, to his football coach, and with the sometimes hard to handle sight coach that would not allow him to wallow in self-pity, he found the courage to move on!  Travis felt inspired, once again, to chase his dreams of playing football even though he was blind.

Impossible, you say?  Not so fast!

But first, I’d like to share with you something that struck me within the storyline of this movie, and that is a friendship Travis had with his best buddy childhood, Jerry Baker. Jerry helps Travis through some of his darkest moments despite his own addiction battles with drinking, later turning to drugs, resulting in an unfortunate and very sad turn to his life.

This is a family type movie; however, it has a PG-13 rating due to the teenage drinking scene.  It allows both men, women, and a younger audience to be enlightened and encouraged to pursue your dreams with determination despite where you come from or what you may go through in life.

Interested in your very own copy of this movie?  You’re in luck!  Enter our giveaway below!

Good luck!

 

 

Many thanks to Propeller Consulting, LLC for providing this prize for the giveaway.  Choice of winners and opinions are 100% my own and NOT influenced by monetary compensation.  I did receive a sample of the product in exchange for this review and post.

Only one entrant per mailing address, per giveaway.  If you have won the same prize on another blog, you are not eligible to win it again.  Winner is subject to eligibility verification.

Team Us

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The weather was absolutely beautiful this past weekend so we packed the horse trailer with saddles, bridles, reins, extra hay, and our horses, of course.  We set out to find a new heritage preserve in our area where we could ride our horses over 400+ acres.  Knowing it would be a bit of a ride, we grabbed Ashleigh Slater’s book entitled Team Us to accompany us on this trip.  Little did we know when we set out on this trip that this book wouldn’t just be our “entertainment” as I would read as my husband drove our rig, but it would also open up deep discussions during our travels.

The idea behind this book is to read it together as a couple.  You could choose to read it out loud as I was doing while my husband drove, or you could read a section and hand the book to your spouse to read at their leisure.  No matter how you decide to do it, it’s just important that the two of you are … dare I say it … on the same page.  All silliness aside, though, this book can be used as a valuable tool for a deeper connection and an opportunity for reflection between you and your spouse.

As I went through the first few chapters to catch my husband up on what he had missed since I read ahead, we made a point to go back over the exercises at the end of the chapters.  I thoroughly enjoyed the conversation as the miles rolled by.  There was serious discussion as well as times we would smile and start laughing as we reminisced together.

The truth of the matter is that a lot of people go into marriage with blinders on.  They are so excited about starting their lives together, often times getting wrapped up in all of the details to make their wedding day “just right.”  But, what happens after the wedding cake has been cut, toasts have been made, and the final dance has taken place at the reception?  You begin your LIFE together as husband and wife.  You should no longer be consumed with “me” but should, instead, focus on “US.”  You and your spouse took each other’s hand, lit the unity candles at the wedding, and walked down the aisle Mr. & Mrs. united in holy matrimony.  And thus you two joined together as a team to do this thing called life!  What happens more times than you think is that people are still stuck in their singleness mentality.  If that is how you approach marriage, it just will not work.  It is, in fact, a team effort.  It takes BOTH of you working together to make this union work!

Ashleigh had me from the very beginning as I flipped the pages of this book to the introduction and read a quote from Audrey Hepburn that Ashleigh chose to begin with:

If I get married, I want to be very married.

I said something similar last year when my husband and I went through a rocky period before being more determined than ever to make this work!  What’s the point in going through the motions?  If you’re going to get married, be ALL into this!  Don’t do anything halfway, especially when it comes to marriage!  Don’t just give 50% … give 150% ALWAYS!  If you’re going to do something, do it with much determination, dedication, devotion, and loyalty!   It’s not all about me.  It’s not all about him.  But it is completely about US!

Being one that does not wish to spoil a good book by giving you all of the details and wealth of information found within the pages, what I would like to do is offer you a book of your own to read!  IF you are interested in learning more about Team Us, please enter our giveaway below for your chance to win Ashleigh Slater’s book.  I am confident that you will be nodding along as you read her words as you’re sure to identify with them, just as I did.  As you read through, you will have a chance to get your spouse involved.  You may be surprised, just as we were, of the deep, heartfelt discussions that will follow!

Ashleigh offers ways to strengthen the unity in your marriage.  Whether you’re a newlywed or have been married for 12 years like my husband and I have, your marriage will benefit from this book!

Enter to win your copy today!

Many thanks to Propeller Consulting, LLC for providing this prize for the giveaway.  Choice of winners and opinions are 100% my own and NOT influenced by monetary compensation.  I did receive a sample of the product in exchange for this review and post.

Only one entrant per mailing address, per giveaway.  If you have won the same prize on another blog, you are not eligible to win it again.  Winner is subject to eligibility verification.

Speaking Their Language

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By now you have probably heard about the book entitled The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman.  Have you read it?  If not, you really should!   This book will help you speak your loved one’s language.

We all have different things that speak to us and make us feel loved.  What works for us may not work for our spouse.  We get into trouble a lot of times when we do for them what we think they’d like, when in actuality, we are doing for them things that we, ourselves, would like.

In just a minute, I will give you an example.  But first, allow me to point out the five basic love languages as Dr. Chapman talks about in his book.  They are as follows:

1.  Words of Affirmation – Do you like it when people praise you and say nice things about you?

2.  Acts of Service – Do you enjoy when someone does something for you?

3.  Receiving Gifts – Does it speak to your heart when someone gives you a gift?

4.  Quality Time – The others may be nice, but do you enjoy just spending time together with the one you love?

5.  Physical Touch – A hug and a kiss can really be mood enhancers, and we’re not even talking about anything sexual at this point.  Do you enjoy sweet caresses on your arm or having him reach for your hand over any of the above?

Pssst … if you are unsure of what your primary love language is, you can take the quiz on Dr. Chapman’s website.  Click here to be taken to his site.

If your spouse has the primary love language of physical touch, and yet you buy her gifts instead of holding her hand, putting your arms around her, etc. then you will NOT be filling up her love tank.  Gifts are nice, and while I’m sure she’ll appreciate that you thought of her, you won’t score as many points with her as you would if you just caressed her cheek or pulled her close to you.

Where we get into trouble is when we take our primary love language and use it on our spouse.  For example, if my husband’s primary love language is words of affirmations, but I choose to display my love for him by doing an act of service instead like washing his car, it just will not deposit that much into his love bank.   While I’m sure he’ll appreciate the sparkling car and the “new car” scent of the air freshener I’ve sprayed inside, it just would not have the same affect as it would have if I had stopped for a moment and told him how great of a provider I think he is for our family.   I have to realize the impact I would have on him if I spoke directly to his heart through my words of affirmation and praise for him.  If I sincerely speak of my admiration and appreciation for all he does for his family and speak of how he provides for us, his love tank would be so full to the point of overflowing!

If all of this seems foreign to you, consider grabbing a copy of Dr. Chapman’s book to read in further detail.  OR, visit his website to take the quiz to find out your love language.  What would be even better is if you AND your spouse took the quiz and shared your findings with each other.  This way, it isn’t a guessing game any longer.  You will KNOW what your spouse likes. Then, make it your goal to do everything within your power to fill up their love tanks!

It’s the month of love!  What better time to discover your spouse’s love language and start speaking their language?


Note:  If you have already discovered your spouse’s love language but would like to better know how to relate to your children, Dr. Chapman also has a book that discusses the Five Love Languages of Children and Teens as well!  Check both of them out!  You can also read our thoughts as we reviewed the teen book previously on our blog and dug deep into each specific love language.

Click here for Acts of Service & Gifts

Click here for Physical Touch & Quality Time

Click here for Words of Affirmation

It is so important to let your children and teens know that they are loved.  Get to reading so you can speak their language, too!

Welcome To The Month of Love!

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It’s here!  Are you as excited as I am?

It starts today!!

Welcome to the month of love!

Ladies and gentleman, we don’t just want to celebrate the wonderful feeling of love for one day … no, no no!  We want to celebrate it ALL … MONTH … LONG!

After all, to love and to be loved is the greatest gift we can give another human being!

Let me tell you of the greatest display of love ever!  That was when Jesus died on the cross for all of our sins.  What a way to say, “I love you …”

With letters of crimson,

God wrote His love

On a hill side so long, long ago

For you and for me,

Jesus died

And love’s greatest story was told!

I love you …

I love you …

THAT’S what Calvary said

I love you …

I LOVE you …

I love you, written in red.

I had the privilege of singing the words of this song at a revival several years back.  This song has been a favorite of mine for some time, and what a feeling to be able to sing those words!   I didn’t just sing those words, though, I thought on the message of the song and how great the Father’s love was for ALL of us to send His only son to die on the cross for us.  There is no greater love and no greater display of love than Jesus dying for you and I.

That’s how we will begin the very first day of February – our month of love.  Think on God’s love and the love Jesus had in His heart when He bore all of this for us.

Have You Said “Thank You” Today?

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There are people in our lives that do a variety of things for us on a daily basis.  Pause for just a moment to consider the parent that packs the children’s lunches so that they will have a full and satisfied tummy to finish their school day.  Think of the parent that washes the clothes the children  wear so they will have fresh, clean clothes for school.  There’s also the spouse that cleans the bathroom behind themselves after shaving so there isn’t hair all over the sink or the floor, or the one that just sees a chore that needs to be done in the house and does it without being asked.  Consider the one that stocks the crock pot so there will be a hot, wholesome meal upon the family’s return at the end of the day.

Have you said “Thank You” today?

I’m not just talking about a quick comment in passing but a genuine, straight from the heart “Thank you!”

Don’t just give the blanket cover-all of, “Thank you for all you do.”  Be specific.  State exactly what it is that you’re thankful for.  List the things that you have such gratitude and appreciation in your heart over.  It will make a difference when your from-the-heart words ring into their ears.

Show your appreciation, gratitude, and practice saying “THANK YOU” more often, beginning today!

 

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