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Light, Love, Hope

Light in the Darkness Surrounded by Love with Hope for those in need.

Let Go … And Let God.

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We have all heard this saying before:

Let Go and Let God.

It’s a simple concept to just let go of all that is troubling us and let God handle it. It’s so simple, yet it’s … so … hard …. to … do!

Another saying you’re probably familiar with is:

Good morning. I will be handling all of your problems today, and I do not need your help. love, God

There isn’t a single one of us on the face of this earth that haven’t gone through something huge in our lives or maybe some are actually going through this life changing event right this very minute. It’s hard to simply let go of what is troubling us and push through.

It’s hard to wear those masks and force those smiles. We do it on a daily basis, even with our automated responses when people ask, “How are you?” We simply reply with, “Fine.” No one has to know that we’re dying inside. But, God knows. He sees, hears, and knows it all. I think that just as things are breaking our hearts here on this earth, they are breaking HIS heart as well. Just as we’re shedding tears, so is God in Heaven over us and our situations. He doesn’t want us to hurt, dear ones.

I may lose a few of you here, but I certainly hope not. There are some people that believe that no matter what situation you’re going through, God has placed this in your life to challenge you or to test you. What about bad things that just … happen … to good people? Some believe that God did those bad things. Others say He allows it to happen. Why? Because we all have free will in this life. It doesn’t make sense to us as to why He would use something so devastating and heart breaking, something that shatters us and cripples us … simply to “test” us. I don’t want to believe that my loving God, my God of mercy, peace, and grace caused all of the bad things in this life that devastate so many lives.

Something that I haven’t talked freely about, until now, is my sister’s suicide. Yet, I feel compelled to share it now more than ever. It’s not that I’m seeking sympathy in the least. No, my family and I do not want that. It’s not that I’m trying to say that my pain is greater than yours either. It may be different, but I’m certainly not measuring who has the greater or greatest heartache in life. I’m just saying that we ALL face things that bring us to our knees. We all face demons in different ways in our lives. For some, their demons can be their alcohol or drug addictions. For others, their demons may come in the form of uncontrollable anger and lashing out at others. And then, other demons present themselves with feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and feeling completely alone in this life. Sadly, my sister felt the latter after having her precious baby. With all of the hormones going wild in her body as it was, she was feeling completely overwhelmed as a new mother, and then the sleepless nights left her questioning her own worth as a mother. Things spiraled out of control, even though we did try to seek help.

In situations like I’ve just shared with you, people are either going to be drawn to God or pull away from Him. They may feel as if their only hope at this point is to cling to God and beg Him to help pick up the shattered pieces of our hearts when we, ourselves, question how we’ll be able to go on without our precious loved ones. When our hearts are breaking to the point that it hurts even to breathe, we cry out to God. OR, the opposite is true, and people get angry with God for allowing the absolute worst to happen. They turn their backs on God and stay cemented in their position that He had the ability to turn this situation around and yet He didn’t. Instead, The All Knowing, All Seeing, All Powerful … allowed … this to happen? Then there’s feelings of WHY? We cry out, we scream with our fists raised high in the air. Why God? WHY!? Why did you have to allow THIS? Why didn’t you stop her? You had the ability and the power, and yet … you did nothing. Again, we’re reminded of the free will aspect. And so we crumble and we sob deeply from our souls as we curl up into a ball in the fetal position for a little while.

Yes, letting go and letting God is so incredibly hard in moments like this. Let go … and let God?

Then I’m reminded of a bible verse that I’ve actually repeated a whole lot recently:

Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

It’s similar, in a way, to the whole “letting go” thing … but it’s a conscious choice to just … be still. When you don’t know what to do, why things happened as they did, and you don’t know how you’ll ever find the strength to draw in another breath or put another foot forward to force yourself out of bed in the mornings … just be still and know that He is God.

It’s not for us to question, although we do it plenty! We won’t ever have the answers that we seek in this lifetime. Only He knows why. Yet, I’m also reminded of another bible verse, one that this site is founded on:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

Some can and will even argue with this verse with what happened to my sister in 2001, though. What, exactly, were the plans God had for my sister? How about those great plans to prosper her and not to harm her? Where was her hope and her future? And even putting those words in black and white on this screen causes my heart to sink. We are taught we shouldn’t question … and yet, I’ve just typed out some questions that have tormented my entire family all of this time. It doesn’t mean I’ve forsaken my God. Not at all. It just means that I’m crying out in my pain for answers … that will not come this side of Heaven.

Could He have stopped my sister that hot July day? Yes …

Why didn’t He? We’ll never know.

Maybe God saw something around the curve in her life that He protected her from by allowing her the free will to take her own life at that moment in time. I’m not sure what to make of this, and I never will know why … or how this could happen … or why it was allowed … or what He could have possibly been protecting her from. All I know is that He is a God of mercy, and if she was in her right mind at the time, this never would have happened. Some of the most well meaning people have added insult to injury over these past years with the thought of suicide being the “unforgivable sin.” No, it’s not. God had mercy on her the moment she took her last breath. I have faith, and this I do believe. She’s in the arms of angels with God right now. I … believe. No, suicide isn’t the unforgivable sin. Denying that God exists, from what I’ve learned, is the unforgivable sin. Atheists fight to tell us how God isn’t real, and they argue their side just as strongly as Christians. They’ve denied Him, though, and we can only hope that at some point in their lives, before it is too late, they will come to discover that there IS a God and they will start believing in Him. Then, we can ultimately hope that they accept Jesus into their hearts before they take their last breath regardless of the cause of their deaths … natural causes, car accident, or even by their own hands (no, my sister was NOT an Atheist … I am arguing the point of what truly is an unforgivable sin … It’s not taking your own life as many have tried to tell me. What comfort did they think they were offering me to suggest that my sister was now in hell? Oh, I believe she lived her hell right here on this earth. Now, though, she’s in Heaven. I believe this with my whole heart. What, in my opinion, is the unforgivable sin? It is denying there is a God).

This post started out as something lighthearted and inspirational with a simple message of “letting go and letting God …” and yet it has gone way beyond that to the private corners of my heart that I’ve kept hidden for so long. At the time of this writing, it has been 12 years. Twelve very hard, gut wrenching years to endure this type of heartache. Not just me losing my only sister, my only sibling. My parents lost their oldest daughter, and they are now only left … with me. MY oldest daughter was only four at the time of my sister’s death, and although she has vague memories, she doesn’t “really” remember her Aunt Pam. My youngest daughter never knew her in this life as she came along many years after my sister’s death, yet she lives on in both of my daughter’s lives through funny stories that I tell them of how we were together growing up, the silly things we did, and the pictures that I have displayed of Pamela in my home.

I’d like to say that we’ve been able to maintain a wonderful, loving relationship with my sister’s only child … but alas, that has not been the case either as forces beyond our control have kept her from us pretty much the majority of this time. She knows us, and we know her … but we aren’t close as I had once envisioned, hoped, and dreamed …

This is me … being real about how I’m feeling.

Yet, despite the heartache, the pain, the devastation, and the shattered lives … I’m here on this site offering all of my love and heartfelt prayers to you all … because I care.

At times when you don’t know what else to do … when your pain is too great, let me suggest that the “letting go” that you do at this point is to just let it all go, honey. Let the tears flow … freely! FEEL the feelings … let the emotions take over one good time if you need to and LET IT GO! God is right there wrapping His loving arms around you comforting you as only He can … feel His presence so strongly in moments like this. Allow His love to soothe your soul. Let go of all of the hurt and pain, all of the questions, all of the shattered pieces of your heart that you’ve scooped up in your hands from off of the floor … and hand them to God. Extend your arms with your hands cupped toward Heaven and allow God to wipe away every single tear that you’ve cried as He takes the broken pieces of your heart and handles them with such care as He puts your lives back together. He can … and He will. It may not look like the life you once knew. It may be completely different now, but He CAN take something so devastating and make something good out of it. At that time in my life, I could not imagine what good could possibly EVER … EVER … come out of something like this … and then, Light Love Hope was born out of a desire to help others. That’s what this site is all about, and it’s been brought forth and presented to the world to offer love, support, and encouragement. When you feel as if no one loves you – we do. Allow us to show you. When you feel all alone, allow us to rally around you and come alongside you to offer that shoulder to cry on or that hand to hold. When you feel as if you are surrounded by darkness, take our hands as we walk together into the light … HIS light.

Oh dear friends … let go of all of the hurt and pain … lay it all down at His feet … and let God love on you a while.

Be still and know that He is God.

Be still and feel His love.

Here Today; Gone Tomorrow. Taking Things For Granted.

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Life is an ever changing thing. Each day brings new wonders for us to discover. If we take a step back and try to look at things from a different perspective, we can discover things we never noticed before in our every day routine.

We tend to get comfortable or in a rut in regards to certain aspects of our lives. We sometimes take for granted that things will always be the same and that people will always be here; yet in the back of our minds we know that is not true.

It is hard to not take things for granted. It is so easy to fall into that trap. The sad part is that it usually takes a sudden drastic change in things that turns our life upside down for the worse to get us to realize we have lost something that meant something to us. We are, then, filled with regret at what has happened. We beat ourselves up over what we could have done instead of what we did. We can’t go back and change things, we can only go forward.

Every day I am reminded to never take anything for granted. How so? I live with a heart condition where my heart randomly for no reason will beat irregularly or sometimes stop. I have been told that any time that this happens I could suffer a blood clot or a major stroke. This condition usually happened to me several times a day, so there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t experience this. Each time it scares me a lot. But, I don’t let this stop me from doing anything. I have, however, learned to be extremely thankful and grateful for what God has given me even though there are things that I feel are missing from my life.

Look at your life. Look at the goodness that has been given to you. Embrace those things. Treat them with respect and nurture them so that you never take them for granted; instead help them grow and you will grow with them. That is what it takes to never lose those things that mean the most to you.

Gregory C. Johnson
~The Quiet Computer Guy

How Do You Handle Yourself?

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That’s the question of the day:  How do you handle yourself?

When you’re feeling angry and upset, what do you do?  How do you help yourself to feel better?

So many times people take their anger out on others around them.  Often times it is the very ones that are supposed to be the closest to them that end up as the target of their anger.   This certainly is not the proper way to handle yourself when you’re upset or angry, though.

Do you yell and scream?   Do you use a trail of swear words?

Do you even resort to violence when things aren’t going your way?   If so, there is a much deeper problem than we are able to help you with here.   It is never a good idea to resort to violence of any kind, whether it is aimed at yourself or others.  If you have thoughts of harming yourself or others, please seek help immediately.   With that said, you can seek assistance through the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.  You may also call them 24 hours a day, seven days a week:  1-800-273-8255

If you feel that you are having trouble handling yourself and your anger, help is available.  You do not have to continue to live like this.   A resource that I have learned of from being involved with (in)courage is E-Counseling.   You can search for a counselor on this site and have sessions via phone or internet sessions.   The point is, help is available, even at the tips of your fingers now with counselors readily available to assist you.   There are also counselors that you can find in your local area so you can sit down face-to-face with them as well.

If you just feel the occasional stress or anxiety from your work day or even your family life and just need someone to talk to, we are happy here to help in any way that is needed.   If you think you would feel better to talk it out and just need to vent, we’re here for you for that.  If you need to write it out anonymously and send it to us in the form of comments or an email, that is okay, too.  We offer this just so you have an outlet and those feelings don’t stay bottled up inside of you.   If you would like prayer, we would be honored to pray for you.   Again, if you would like to share anonymously your prayer needs, that is fine.   Comments and emails are always welcome:  hislightlovehope @ gmail.com or shirley @ lightlovehope.com.

For me, it helps to have a trusted friend that I can talk to and pour my heart out to.   Some times it isn’t pretty in the beginning, but they allow me to come to them with the good, the bad, and the ugly.  They are there to help, to reassure, to offer a loving hand to hold if needed.  There’s nothing like feeling their love surround you.   They pray with me, for me, and over me.   They pray for protection, for safety, for relief of the stress and anxiety.   I also have a friend that believes strongly in meditation and has sent me CDs and books on the subject to try to clear my mind.  Other friends go with me to visit the beach where it is always calming and soothing for the soul.  Yet another friend has sent me their special sage as they believe strongly in cleansing all of the negativity around me.   She’s even prayed over the sage before sending it to me, too.

It is so important to be able to handle yourself in the heat of the moment without going off on those around you or even directing that anger at yourself.

If there is anything the Encouragement Team can do for you at any time, please … PLEASE … let us know.  We are always here for you.

Memorial Day

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Today we pause to remember the fallen.   We say a silent prayer for all of the families and friends that have lost loved ones as they served our country.

It’s not about grilling out, taking the boat out, or pool parties.

It’s about the greatest sacrifice that many men and women have given for the sake of freedom.

Freedom isn’t free!  It comes with a huge price that many have paid.

All gave some.  Some gave all.

 

Some Gave All

 

The Power of Encouragement

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I’m sure that at some point in our lives we can all say that we could relate to feeling “down in the dumps.”  If things haven’t been going our way, as much as we try, we may not always be able to hold our heads up and keep a smile on our faces.  We can try really hard, but some times, let’s face it, it’s just hard to breathe let alone force all of the muscles in our faces to do what inside we can’t … smile.

Have you ever really thought about the many “masks” that we wear?   We surely can’t allow the world to see how we truly feel, so we hide behind the “masks” and pretend that all is well when inside we’re hurting.  Deep within our core, there’s a ache.  It … just … hurts!

It’s times like this … more than ever … that we need someone to come alongside of us with encouragement for our hearts.  They may not be able to “do” anything about the situation that is troubling us or the sadness that we’re feeling in our hearts.  What they can do is love us, encourage us, support us and just be “there.”

There is such power in encouragement!   When your heart is hurting, it is quite comforting to feel the loving arms of your friend wrapped securely around you letting you know that they’re there … and they are not letting you go!   It helps to have a reassuring hand to hold or even just a voice on the other end of the phone.

When you feel low and as if you can’t figure your own “stuff” out, why not give another the gift of your encouragement?  It has been proven that if you are sad, depressed, or hurting that it helps if you reach out to others.  It will help you feel better to encourage someone else and love on them a little while.  Think of how you’ve felt when others have reached out to you.  It’s a beautiful thing to feel the love that another has for you.

Aside from the power of encouragement from a friend, there is great encouragement to be found within the pages of one book in particular.  The Bible is full of God’s promises and His love for us.   He also speaks about friends in His word:

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:  If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

John 15:12-15

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.  Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

Proverbs 17:17

A friend loves at all times …

One of my dear friends has been having a hard time lately, and they were feeling especially down today.  It hurts when your friends hurt.  You want to reach out and help in some way.  You offer.  You tell them to let you know if there is anything … anything at all … that you can do for them.  Then you pray for them and whisper words of encouragement into the universe to them and for them … and they can feel it … they can truly feel the power of encouragement at times like these.

With that said, I’d like to introduce you to the Encouragement Team of Light Love Hope.   By clicking here, you will be taken to a new page which will show the beautiful smiling faces of some very important people in my life.   These precious souls are here, just as I am, to come alongside you and love you, encourage you, and support you.   There are many, many more precious people in my life that are not on the page as writers for this site, yet they continue to speak to my heart on a daily basis.  One particular lady that I love and hold so dear to my heart resides many, many states away (Oklahoma), and yet, she’s like my sister.  She’s not on this site … yet … as part of my Encouragement Team, but she speaks to my heart on a daily basis.  I love her … and I hope she knows without a shadow of a doubt what her friendship means to me.

There IS power in encouragement … such power … such beautiful, overwhelming, life changing power.  Share your gift of encouragement with someone today.   They will be blessed completely … and so will you in the process!

Close – Five Minute Friday

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You know what time it is, right?  It’s time for FIVE MINUTE FRIDAY!!!

Today’s prompt word is CLOSE.

Are you ready to write without regarding to getting it “just” right?  Set your timer and see where your mind takes you!

Ready?

Set?

GO!

Near or far, where ever you are … you’re always close to my heart.

Though miles may separate us and people threaten to prevent us from being together, they cannot take this from us.  Ever.  We are always together and close because of the connection of our heart.

I’ll never forget when my daughter was younger and red faced with tears streaming had to go with her dad every other weekend and weeks in the summer for visitation.   She was only a year old when we separated, and this was hard on her to be away from me just as much as it was for me to be away from her.  She was so little and didn’t understand what was going on and why we had to be apart.  As the years went by, she understood a little more, but it did not stop the tears from flowing each and every time we had to be apart.  I would lean in close to her and whisper that she was always in my heart just like I was always in her heart.  I would reassure her that no one could ever take that away from us.  Ever!   Although we weren’t allowed to talk on the phone even at that point when she had to be away, she could rest in the assurance of my love and that although we were separated by many miles between us … we were always close because of the love we have in our hearts for each other.

Now, my daughter is older … entering her Senior year in the Fall.   She will be preparing to go out into the real world after graduation.  She’ll be preparing to leave for college.   She admitted yesterday that she’s excited yet frightened for this last year of high school.   I leaned in close once more and whispered that no matter what she will always be in my heart just like I am always in her heart.  No one will ever be able to take that away from us … no miles … no distance … nothing!   We will always be close and connected at the heart because of the strong love and mother/daughter bond that we share.

STOP!

Memories Of The Way We Were …

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Today wasn’t my usual work day.  Instead of processing all of the invoices, keying entries, writing checks and handling things in Accounting, I was sent out to help the family of this company that I work for.   It seems that the elderly gentleman in the family has been moved to a retirement/assisted living home.   This gentleman once owned the company but passed it down to the next generation who has now passed it down to the next generation as well.  While I did not have the pleasure of working with this now elderly gentleman, I have heard a lot about him through the years since I did work for this family owned company.  I have worked with and for this elderly gentleman’s son as well as now working for his grandsons.

What could this family possibly need my help with outside of work in the office?   Since the elderly gentleman has moved, his home is no longer occupied so his son and grandsons have been going through his belongings in an effort to downsize and eventually sell the home.  While going through his things, the family stumbled upon moments in time that were captured in the form of pictures, letters, poems, postcards, and cards.   It is their desire to preserve these things, thus the reason they called me to help scan in all of these memories.

I will be honest and say that this hasn’t been an easy task today as there are a LOT of things to scan in.  I will literally be at this for days on end, and I’m not even sure I’ll be finished after the three days they’ve asked me to commit to for this project.   Greg recently wrote about capturing pictures and how he jokingly refers to me as The Picture Queen, but honestly, I think this gentleman (or his wife) have me beat!   They had so many photo albums and scrapbooks piled high for me to scan!   You can look at it like there’s so much work, how will I ever get through this … OR you can look at it like a privilege to be allowed to be a part of preserving cherished memories!   I am choosing to view it in that light.  It changes everything when you change your view of things.   It truly does make a difference.

And so I set out on my journey of preserving memories.

I came across pictures of this family through the years, which is honestly what I had expected when I started.  However, I came across things that thrilled and fascinated me completely, too!

A lot of the information written on the pages of the scrapbooks and photo albums were written in German!   Since the pages were literally falling apart in my hands, I had to take each picture off of the page and place it carefully onto the glass of the scanner.   I also had to write a caption taken from the words written on the scrapbook pages and place it on the glass of the scanner as well so the family would be able to identify with the people, places, and things in the pictures when they take a walk down memory lane by going through all of these files after I’ve completed this task.

In addition to the pictures, there were pages of poems that were also written in German, as well as letters … oh the letters that this individual wrote and received!   There were cards mixed in as well, but it was the letters that struck me the most.  The date was written so eloquently at the top, almost in Calligraphy.   I remember sitting back in the chair marveling at this dirty piece of paper when I realized the date across the top!   It was the year 1918.  I’m not kidding you.  That was one of the dates in the papers that I scanned today.   Isn’t it amazing that I held a piece of history in my hands?  While I’m not sure what those German words were saying, I can imagine in my mind a love letter just pouring their hearts out to the love of their lives; their soul mates.   I can imagine the letters being written during a war as they were clinging to the other person miles and states away while they served our country.  While they were facing the enemy head on with their weapons and fighting for their lives and our freedom, they paused for a moment to share their written words with the one that they loved with their entire being.   And I … I had the privilege of preserving these moments today!

There was an artist in the family as I found numerous drawings from this individual.  One drawing in particular caught my eye as I reached for the clipping out of the magazine.  Just as I reached to place it on the glass, the drawing  from underneath it was revealed.  In all of it’s beauty and glory, there was the picture that this individual had drawn based on the clipping from the magazine.  This person had talent!   I smiled as I marveled at every line from his pencil, the way it was shaded in and how smoothly it transitioned into the next line to form the perfect picture!

Why am I telling you all of this today?   Because one of these days someone will be going through OUR things to see what treasures we have left behind.  Will our families wish to preserve our memories?  Will our families soak in all of the beauty and wonder of journals that we have left behind, or will they cringe at the words that jump off of the page at them?   Will they consider it an honor to read your words, thinking of them as simply beautiful, passionate, and so full of life?   Or will they close the book never to open it again?

One of these days we are all just going to be a memory … will you be a good one?   I certainly hope that my family and friends will remember me with such a warm feeling in their hearts and feel that I’ve touched their lives in a good and positive manner when my time on earth is no more and I’ve gone to be with Jesus.  I hope that they will search my house for treasures left behind in the form of poems, hand written letters, and yes, pictures … lots and lots of pictures.  I hope they will cherish them as much as I did while penning them or capturing those moments with my camera.

I desire to live a good life and show my family and friends how much they mean to me.  I don’t want to reserve this for a special occasion to tell them “then” of how I feel.  No, I want to live it to the fullest each and every day not letting a single minute go by without them knowing in their hearts how I feel about them.   I want them to know … and I want them to FEEL it!   Long after I’m gone, I want them to still feel me with them in their hearts … I want to love that strongly, that completely, that passionately that they forever feel me with them and a part of their lives.

This gentleman traveled the world … literally.   There were two photo albums packed full of postcards from different places that he had traveled.  They weren’t pictures of where he’s been that he’d taken, but instead, they were postcards of these places.  Yet, the memories those postcards provoked in him … I’d like to imagine that they still stir in him to this very day.  He lived his life.  He did the things his heart desired and the proof is within all of the pages of these photo albums and scrap books.  He lived … he loved … he did as his heart desired.

Are you living your life to the fullest?  There’s so much out there to do and see.  Are you doing the things that bring you the most joy?  Are you seeing new and exciting places?  Are you engaging in things that your heart desires, or are you waiting to do it “one day.”    Ah dear one, don’t wait … “one day” may never come.   Don’t look back with regrets.  When you’re older, like this gentleman, don’t sit there and say, “If only I had …”  Go out now and DO it so you’ll have beautiful memories to reflect back on later.

Leave your own mark on the world!  Leave your loved ones with fond memories of the way we were!

Do you really listen?

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Today my question for you readers is do you listen? Do you really listen or do you just think you listen? I have run into several situations recently that have shown me that people don’t really listen to what others are saying if it is not what they want to hear.

My first encounter with this was at the supermarket. For a little background, this supermarket has a rewards program that lets you get to up 50 cents off of the price of gas depending on the amount you have purchased. An older gentleman was standing taking with the customer service clerk when I walked. He was telling the clerk that the amount on his card was incorrect. After each purchase, your balance is shown on the receipt. The clerk was very nice and told the gentleman that her computer system cannot show his past transactions and that she would give him a phone number to call the central office to get things cleared up. He completely ignored what she said to him and kept going on that his balance was wrong, the program sucked (much stronger words were used), and that he was going to throw the @#!@ card away. Again she repeated what she had said. He kept on with his tirade. This went on for more than five minutes while I was standing there watching the scene unfold. The clerk was wonderful and never got upset with him even though he was irate.

He obviously didn’t want to listen because it wasn’t the result he wanted. He wanted immediate satisfaction no matter what.

My most recent experience with someone not wanting to listen happened this morning at work while I was giving a training session. I was coming towards the end of the training when the boss finally walks in. He sits down and I start to review what we had gone over. All of a sudden, the boss goes off on a tangent that has nothing to do with m y topic. He starts to rant that I should not be doing any programming work to create a better system without being requested to do so. I explained to him that I was given a request and I had completed that task several weeks ago. But he would not listen and kept ranting on this other topic. Several people in the room spoke up about how this feature had gone through company procedure and a formal request was given to me and that I had completed the task. No matter what anyone said, he just kept on and on. It was finally mentioned that the initial request had come from him. That didn’t even stop the ranting. Again, all he was concerned with was what he wanted even if he had no clue as to what had transpired and been accomplished. All this did was to spread a feeling of ill will through all the employees that the meeting.

I try to listen to people when they talk to me. I really try my best to pay attention to what they say. In doing so, I really get to pick up on things and get to know the person more than they realize. Several people have asked me how I am able to come up with such great gifts for people during birthdays and holidays. It is because I listen. People will tell you things about themselves without ever realizing it. You blog hostess can confirm that as we have known each other for over fifteen years and she still seems to get a bit surprised at gifts I come up with for their family.

Many of my friends have gone through a divorce. In watching them interact with their spouses, it is obvious to me that one or both of them don’t listen to what the other is trying to say. They get so wrapped up in what they want, they completely block out the other person. Then they wonder what is going on when problems start.

So I put out another challenge. Think about whether or not you really listen. Start paying attention to what people are saying.  Some of my most entertaining moments come from just listening to other people talking while out in public. You just might be surprised what you hear.

~The Quiet Computer Guy

People First

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What are the really important things in your life?

Do you place value on material things such as your house, car, or any other worldly possessions?

Do you focus more on making a living or making a life?   There is a big difference in the two.  Huge, actually!

Don’t get me wrong here.  There’s not anything wrong with having nice things if you can afford them.  To me, though, worldly possessions have not been high on my list.  I’ve gone from not having a whole lot while growing up, to having enough to get by when I was married the first time around.  Then just as things seemed like smooth sailing, a divorce was thrust upon me shattering my picture perfect fantasy land fairytale of a life.  After that, I worked hard to support my daughter and to ensure that her quality of life did not go down in the least just because my husband left our home.  I fought hard to keep that house and the lifestyle we were living.  While it wasn’t anything grand, it was OUR house.   And, I wanted her to still have the security and stability she had always known.

Then …

Many years later, I got remarried.  Money wasn’t scarce like before, and we were able to travel the world, have nice things, and enjoy to the fullest.  Still, money does not buy happiness.  It  never will possess that power.  Ever.

I had a nice job and moved up the ladder rather quickly.  I had a corner office with a window and an “official” title.   Even still, that did not supply the happiness I craved and wanted for my now two daughters in this life.  I found out that the nice office and title did nothing for my happiness in life at the hands of people that attempted to tear me down every chance they had.  So, I left that job and took a much lesser position actually back where I started out … and guess what?  I’m happier than I have been in a very long time!

Some times less really is more!

A lot of people focus on material things, their money, and just feel such power in saying what they “do” for a living.  I could care less whether you’re a multi millionaire or have only a penny to your name.  I don’t care if you live in a mansion or a run down shack.   It doesn’t matter to me if you’re a doctor or lawyer OR a school janitor or even a stay-at-home mom taking care of the house and children who sometimes feels inadequate or not good enough (you ARE … by the way, and you have the hardest job of all, sisters!).   What matters most in this life are PEOPLE!!!  It’s the people you share your life with.  It’s people that should always … ALWAYS … come first.

When all of the material things have been stripped away no matter the circumstances or reasons it happens … whether it’s by a natural disaster or due to being in financial ruins due to another divorce …

When that job you worship lays you off or replaces you with someone fresh out of college that looks better on paper than you may … or you simply feel unfulfilled, used and abused and decide to get out while you still can …

WHO is going to be there to wrap their arms around you and tell you that it’s okay and that you’ll get through it … together?

Will you have anyone to stand in the trenches with you?

Do you have someone that you feel safe when their arms envelop you?

Is there any one in your life that possesses the power to where you feel that the storms may rage violently around you, yet you’re protected … safe … and secure.

Everything else can be lost in a single blink of an eye.  Money, homes, job security.

Put people first.  They are what truly matter in this life.  Their love will endure!

 

(in)courage – Parenting Teens & Thriving

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I had the pleasure of co-leading the Parenting Teens & Thriving (in)courage group during the Winter Session with my friend, Kate Battistelli, (psssst her daughter is the awesome Christian singer, Francescia Battistelli, just in case you were wondering!)   We came together with a wonderful group of ladies and just loved on them throughout the entire session.  We talked about some very serious subject matters, but we also tried to have a little fun as well.   We discussed the book by Dr. Gary Chapman The Five Love Languages of Teenagers, which I also went into detail with on Light Love Hope because of the much needed information provided within the pages of that powerful, life changing book.

We were a little sad when the Winter Session came to a close, but we looked forward to the Spring Session.

And …

It’s here!!

The Spring Session will run from May 26 through July 4th!  Yea!!

This time around, I have the privilege of co-leading the Parenting Teens & Thriving Spring Session with Susan Lawrence Choate!   Oh, you’ve seen her work on Light Love Hope before as she wrote about the Trip That Was Never Supposed To Happen … and it … was … beautiful.  Just like Susan!

So, with that said … if you’re looking for some encouragement as you parent your teens or even if you have tweens at this point and need a little help as you get ready to dive into those teens years … we are here for you!

parentingteens1.jpg1

Please join us for the Spring Session of (in)courage by clicking here.  It will take you to the sign up page.   If Parenting Teens & Thriving doesn’t interest you, that is okay, too, as we have a TON of other groups you can sign up for.  Just take a look around and see which group would be a better fit for you.  No pressure, no worries.  Just a LOT of women waiting to love on other women to encourage them, uplift them, support them, and let them know that they are truly not alone!

We hope you’ll join us all at (in)courage!

Blessings to one and all,

~Shirley

Incourage registration

 

 

 

God’s NOT Dead

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My daughters and I set out on an adventure yesterday determined to find only things that brought joy and happiness along our path. We haven’t spent a whole lot of quality time just the three of us as we have done family things together for as long back as we can remember. That was always important to us, but now that they’re getting older, THIS is important, too. The reality of the situation is that my babies truly aren’t babies any more. Time is slipping away and is going way too fast. No amount of begging and pleading will make time stand still, so I must just seize the moment with them, live, laugh, love, and enjoy! I intend to do just that! Now, more than ever, I need to be sure to nurture the friendship aspect of our relationship. As I move from being their mother, directing their every steps and tending to their every need, to friend, the one they look forward to hanging out with and doing fun things with … these are the moments that will turn into precious memories that hopefully my children will treasure for years to come and look back fondly on if the Lord should call me home.

God's Not Dead Girls' Movie Night

We stopped to eat at their favorite restaurant where any onlookers would have sworn we hadn’t eaten in a very long time with the way we were savoring and enjoying every bite. We just haven’t been there in forever, so our taste buds were dancing with delight. Once all of the little tummies were satisfied, we went on to the movies!

My oldest daughter mentioned the movie God’s Not Dead to me before. It, apparently, was mentioned at the Christian school that my children attend, and it interested her a great deal. I listened as she talked of what she had heard the movie was about. To be honest, I wasn’t that interested in the movie upon hearing about it. For me, I know that God’s not dead. I don’t need a movie to tell me that or to convince me. I know in my heart, and that is all that I truly need. But, it kept coming up in conversation a lot. So, last night my daughters and I went to see God’s Not Dead.

Even though we had just eaten, we stopped off at the concession stand as my oldest daughter just had her braces taken off a few days earlier. She hadn’t been able to enjoy movie theater popcorn in a year and a half. We knew going in that she would have a large tub of popcorn pretty much all to herself, and that was perfectly fine with me.

God's Not Dead Movie Popcorn

We took our seats right square in the middle of the theater. People started filing in, and this proved to be a very popular movie even though it has been in theaters a few weeks now.

The movie begins with a cross necklace wearing college student being warned upon registration about a particular professor. He was given the opportunity to switch classes, but he really needed this one so he stayed with it. It didn’t take long to understand why the warning was issued, though. On the very first day of class, the professor, a known Atheist, went through his usual lecture of how it would save the class a whole lot of time if they would all just write God is dead on a piece of paper with their signature. Then, they could move on to more important things that semester, according to the professor.

Several people looked around in the class as if they were unsure of what to do. Then, they started writing on their paper and passing it to the end of the row to be given to the professor. One student, however, felt very strongly about his beliefs. He sat there contemplating what to do. He knew in his heart that he could not deny God. He knew that he could not deny God’s existence and that he could not deny that God was very real working in his heart and life. He knew that although it would not be the most popular thing to do and that it would not score any points with the professor that he had … HAD … to do the right thing! And so, he refused to write that on the paper.

The professor wasn’t very pleased at this point, as you can imagine. This college Freshman was going up against the professor, of all people … in his class … in front of all of his students. How dare he, right? Ah, but this young man was brave and he accepted the challenge offered by the professor. At the end of every class, he would be given 20 minutes to state his case on why he believed that God was not dead. The professor would carry on with his class as usual with his beliefs, but this college Freshman would be given the opportunity to prove this to the entire class. The college student took it one step further and said that they would put God on trial with the professor being the prosecutor, with himself as the defense attorney, and the entire class as the jurors. They would get to decide for themselves.

Being one that does not like to have a movie or a book spoiled for me, I do not intend to do that here today with you either. Instead, now that you have a pretty good idea of what the movie is about, I will tell you of my experience while watching this movie.

As my daughters and I sat there listening to the arguments on both sides from the professor and that of the college Freshman, tears began to fill my eyes. There were several instances within the movie itself where God moved in other people’s lives. There were several story lines going within this movie, not just that of the college Freshman trying to convince his classmates and professor. There were other people’s lives involved and intertwined in the movie plot. It pulled on my heartstrings. From verbal abuse, to physical abuse, to being cast out of the family, to being told the character had cancer, to a dear family member having dementia, to a great tragedy occurring … this movie spoke to my heart in so many different ways and before I realized what was happening, tears filled my eyes and spilled over until they were streaming down my face.

Ordinarily, I would say that this movie was powerful. On second thought, it wasn’t the movie, the actors, the characters portrayed, nor their lives … it was the message behind it all that was powerful. The message … God’s NOT dead.

He’s not.

He’s very much alive and working in hearts and lives EVERY where to this very day, right this minute.

Lives … have been spared.

Hearts … have been changed.

Yes, there are still bad things that happen to good people in this life. There are a million questions that remain unanswered, most leading to us wanting to yell “WHY?!”

I don’t know why, dear ones.

But, what I do know is that God is real. He is alive. And I believe.

 

But everyone who denies me here on earth, I will also deny before my Father in heaven.

Matthew 10:33 NLT

 

I tell you the truth, everyone who acknowledges me publicly here on earth, the Son of Man will also acknowledge in the presence of God’s angels.

Luke 12:8 NLT

What makes you happy?

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Beautiful words from our Quiet Computer Guy, Gregory C. Johnson.

What Makes You Happy?

Quite the title; isn’t it?  Do you really know what makes you happy?  Have you ever just sat down and thought about it?  Coming from the background I did, growing up where I was mired in a negative environment, and where I was never really was shown any love or affection by my family … I wrestled  with this for many years.

There is one thing that stands out for me where I can go and feel the joy of happiness; music.  I have been enamored with music since I was very little.  My grandfather gave me my first drum when I was three years old.  As a small child, I would sit for hours in front of the stereo singing along to my parent’s records.  Even thinking of that now brings a warm feeling to my heart.

As I grew older, my mother supported me and my fascination with music.  She started me with drum lessons; I then took up guitar and bass guitar.  There were even some piano lessons in there for a while.

The first band I played in was our Youth Choir combo at church.  I have played many places over the years in many different situations from small clubs to large summer festivals.  Playing or listening to music has brought me many happy moments my life.

Yet, music is not what really truly makes me happy.

As I said earlier, I wrestled with the thought of true happiness for quite some time.  I didn’t find out what true happiness was until later in my life when by some miracle of God’s intention someone was brought into my life that showed me how being truly happy could feel.  So now, I suppose, you think you know how this all turns out; you meet the person that makes you feel all warm inside, it becomes a mutual thing, and you live happily ever after.  That is the way things are supposed to work out, right?  But that is not what God intended for me.

As happens with many things in life, things were not meant to be as what my heart’s desire prayed for. When that happens, it is our nature to question why, to wonder what is wrong with us, to put blame on God for putting us in a situation that causes our heart to ache.  I went through that same thing.  Then I realized that God put me into this situation for a reason.  I sat and meditated for many an evening looking for some answer.  Over time, I did begin to realize that what I was looking for –  love from someone else – was not the only thing that could make me happy.  With God’s help, I discovered that giving love without condition is another thing that can truly make me happy.  It is the joy of doing something for someone for no reason.  It is the joy of surprising someone with a small gift or a compliment that makes them smile.

I am content and happy with the situation I am in thanks to God’s design of bringing this special person into my life.  She has helped me become a better person over the years without ever knowing the kind of effect she was having on me.  She is still the number one thing that makes me happy, but my eyes and heart have been opened to letting in other avenues of happiness to make my life complete.

So what makes you happy?

~The Quiet Computer Guy

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