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Light, Love, Hope

Light in the Darkness Surrounded by Love with Hope for those in need.

Communication Is Key

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What is the key that will unlock the door of your heart?   For me, it’s communication.  There are many other keys to different chambers inside of my heart, but ultimately, communication is the key to the master lock.   Many couples are struggling today because although they possess the key to this master lock, they refuse to use it.   Then they wonder why trouble seems to run rampant in their relationships and marriages.

They may run to talk to their parents, in-laws, cousins, friends, and even co-workers at times.  They may yell, scream, and even curse thinking that counts as communication when all that does is cause the dead bolt to slam shut and the chain to immediately go up on the door in addition to the master lock being locked as tight as it can get.  No one will be allowed inside of my heart when yelling, screaming, and cursing occurs.   Ever.

They may even seek the help of a pastor or someone on the church board.   Finally, they may seek professional help from a counselor.  All of that means nothing, though, if they refuse to calmly discuss things with the one they are in a relationship with or whom they are married to!   Nothing will get solved by talking to everyone else BUT the person that is IN the relationship or marriage.

At times we’re told not to nurse it or rehearse it … with “it” being the offense.   What this means to me is simply not to nurse the wound, not to make yourself out to be the victim in the situation, and not to keep going over it again and again and again in an effort to find fault.  Be man or woman enough to look yourself in the mirror and admit where you’ve fallen short, where you’ve gone wrong.  Accept responsibility for your actions instead of always trying to lay the blame at someone else’s feet.

Recently I have witnessed a situation in my own life where a person concocted a plan.  It wasn’t a Godly plan at all, yet they set about scheming and planning, plotting this entire thing out of what was “allowed” or what was even “permissible.”   When they were told to be careful of what they were suggesting and planning, that warning was not heeded but was, instead, dismissed.   They went forth with their plan, and then they seemed surprised when things crumbled around them when it didn’t go as they had thought it would the entire time leading up to it or even after.  Then, what did they do?  Did they own up to their part in this right away and say how very wrong they were?  No, instead, they played the victim role, and very well, too, I might add.   They spun absolutely out of control blaming every one and every thing, trying to talk to every one to tell “their” side.  There were pieces of the puzzle that was missing from “their” side of the story, though.  Huge pieces.  Large chunks of the puzzle pieces were missing.  There was no way to fit the pieces of the puzzle together.   Then they refused to understand or see why their spouse was enraged to find out that they had involved family and friends without telling the full story.  They told only what they wanted to tell.

THEN …

They sought professional help.  This is wonderful.   It’s a very brave step to take.  It’s a much needed step in an effort to “fix” themselves and the situation they, alone, have landed themselves in.

There’s still something missing in all of this.  What could that be?  This person would talk to EVERY one about the problem but would NOT speak to their spouse.  They shut them completely out and then wondered why their spouse didn’t welcome them with open arms every time they came back around.   Too much damage had already been done by refusing to speak to the ONE person that they truly needed to talk to:  their spouse!   instead of speaking rationally to them about the situation, they would get upset, rant, rave, curse, fuss, and then … leave.  Ultimately, they’d resort to leaving.   With the spouse standing in the middle of the yard calling out after them, they turned a deaf ear and refused to look her into the eyes while they walked away as fast as they could to their truck to make a fast getaway because they simply refused to do the one thing that would have made all of the difference in the world:  communicate!

Did the spouse give up?  No … she tried several times.  She tried four days in a row, actually.   She didn’t harp on him to the point that his only choice was to leave … not at all.  She tried to give him space, yet there was a pressing issue that they needed to discuss.  You can’t ignore the elephant in the room any more.  When it reaches this point, there is no ignoring the situation at hand.  There is no more sweeping it under the rug as there is already a huge pile under it that everyone keeps tripping on as they try to tip toe around the large elephant that’s there, too!

What is the point in this entire post today?   If you have someone in your life that you love … whether it’s a spouse, a girlfriend, boyfriend, fiance or even a friend … don’t take them for granted!  Don’t take a huge situation and turn to every one else except for the person that you NEED to be talking to!  Don’t clam up and refuse to talk or get mad and leave … every … single … time!   That’s the coward way.  At the first sign of trouble, run.  NO!   While I can understand needing to take a time-out, agree to come back at an appointed time to discuss the matter when both parties have calmed down some and are in a better frame of mind so they can actually hear each other and not sit thinking the entire time of what their response will be to what the person just said.   The thing is … this situation spiraled out of control, and despite the many attempts to talk, he would not talk to her.   Instead, he’d leave to come back when he darn well felt like it.   In other words, he abandoned her when she needed him the most.   There is emotional abuse, neglect, and yes, abandonment.

Communication is key, people.  It truly is.

And Now For Something New: We Care Wednesdays

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We would like to introduce everyone to a new regular feature here on Light Love Hope; We Care Wednesdays. Each Wednesday, beginning on June 4, 2014, we would like to ask you to post anything that may be on your mind that is giving you stress at the moment; no matter how small you may think it is. Everyone needs to vent once in a while, and we are here for you to do so.

Also, each Wednesday we would like to promote a little happiness in the world with a suggestion of a small random act of kindness or RAK. We would love suggestions from you, too. It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate or cost anything as some of the most meaningful things done for people don’t cost a single thing.

Are you ready to accept the challenge?  We hope so!

We can touch lives and make a difference … together.  One person at a time.

The Light Love Hope Encouragement Team

 

A Tribute To Dr. Maya Angelou

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This week the world lost a beautiful soul, Maya Angelou. As the world mourns, we celebrate her and some of the most beautiful words written and spoken.

I’d like to share a few of my favorite quotes, as well as my thoughts about them and how they pertain to my life.

And Still I Rise

This quote makes me think of times in my life where people have attempted to bring me down. Whether it’s at the hands of a bully, facing mental and emotional abuse bordering physical abuse even … no matter their attempts, I still rose from the ashes and vowed to go on with my life to bigger and brighter things.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.

How true is the above statement? I’m sure you can recall times in your life where you just didn’t want to see what was right before your eyes. You wanted to see the good in people despite what they were slowly revealing to you. You turned a blind eye to that part of them, and yet it kept creeping out more and more until there was no denying it at that point. It is true … when people show you who they are, believe them. While I believe that people CAN change if they desire to do so, it has to come from within with lots of prayer and help from God above for it to be a truly lasting change in their life. Many will mouth the words, “I’m sorry.” Few mean it and will be determined to make that change so that they never have need to utter those words again.

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said; people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

Truer words were never spoken! So many times people will forget the words that you just spoke to them. Maybe they aren’t truly listening as they’re distracted in the moment, or maybe they just simply “heard” but didn’t take those words you spoke to heart. People will sometimes forget even the kindest act that you could have ever done in this life for them. For some strange reason, they fail to retain this information although I’m sure it meant a lot to them at the time. However, people will never ever forget how you made them FEEL! Whether you have left a bad feeling with that person or the most amazing feeling in the world, people will hold on to this long after the words and deeds have been forgotten. Their hearts will forever remember how you made them feel.

Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.

Although people may launch assaults at you and attack you with their words, while others may try to chip away at your self esteem, self worth, and confidence … nothing and no one can EVER dim the light that shines from within you, dear one. It’s there … reflected in your eyes, the windows to your soul. Don’t allow people or troubles in your life to even attempt to extinguish the flame that burns inside of your heart and soul. Whatever your passion is in life, live and breathe that passion no matter what any one else may say, do, or even think about what you feel so passionately about in this life. Like the lighthouse on the sandy shores standing tall, confidently leading the ships ashore, as the bright light illuminates the sky … so does your light from within as it shines in the hearts and lives of those you love and hold dear to you in this life.

It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody.

When we refuse to forgive, who is the prisoner? The one that wronged us? Surely not. We are, dear ones. When we refuse to allow our hearts to forgive and we carry around such a grudge or chip on our shoulders, this has the potential to entrap us and chain us to the bitterness that is sure to form. Pray for the ability to forgive. Pray for the people that have offended us and hurt us greatly. We may pray through gritted teeth at first, but it will become easier to pray for them as time passes. Then, forgiveness will come. Forgive yourself for any regrets of the past. All of them. Every single one that torments you to this very day. It’s time to forgive yourself, too!

My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.

This one spoke volumes to me. There are times when we even laugh through the tears or laugh when what we’d really like to do is cry. Then, there are times when all we want is to love someone and have them return that love to us. It does take great courage to accept their love in return because in doing so it opens us up to being hurt … again. That is when we are at our most vulnerable. Yes, it does take great courage to accept their love in return.

Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.

When all else fails and I can find no comfort elsewhere, all I have to do is turn to my music. It will see me through anything. If I’m unable to express it with my words, there is a song that I can identify with that says it perfectly. And so … I turn to music. It is my refuge. My safe place. It makes everything better.

Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.

Love is so beautiful, so powerful … and nothing can ever stop love. No distance, no miles, no circumstances or situations … Love just IS! And it’s amazing!

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.

Your story matters … it really does! Please don’t keep it locked away inside the private chambers of your heart. Share it. Tell it. There is healing power in telling your story!

I know that when I pray, something wonderful happens. Not just to the person or persons for whom I’m praying, but also something wonderful happens to me. I’m grateful that I’m heard.

There is never, ever a time when we pray that our words fall upon deaf ears. God knows all … He sees it and hears it. He knows before you ever bring them to Him in prayer exactly what is troubling you. He wants to hear from you, though, and He is there … waiting. It is a truly wonderful thing to know that you’re heard … truly heard … and loved with such an amazing, unconditional love.

What is a fear of living? It’s being preeminently afraid of dying. It is not doing what you came here to do, out of timidity and spinelessness. The antidote is to take full responsibility for yourself – for the time you take up and the space you occupy. If you don’t know what you’re here to do, then just do some good.

If you’ve ever felt at times like you’re floundering around like a fish out of water wondering where your place is in this great big world … this one is for you! If you’ve ever questioned what purpose you serve, rest assured that as long as there is a heart beating inside of your chest, you have a purpose on this earth! Trust it. Believe it. It’s TRUE!

To Dr. Maya Angelou, thank you for your contribution to the world. The impact that you have had on many lives far and wide will never be forgotten. You have touched so many lives while here on this earth, and you’re touching lives still even as we mourn the loss of a legend.

(For more quotes, please click here.)

When You’re Down To Nothing …

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Today’s Five Minute Friday prompt word provided by Lisa Jo’s team is: Nothing

Ready?

Set?

GO!

Another saying that is familiar to us all is: When you’re down to nothing, God is up to something.

When you’re at your absolute lowest point in life and you feel like things are falling down around you. You feel the weight of the world on your shoulder and yet responsibilities continue to crowd in on you and threaten to steal the last little bit of sanity you had left. When you’re beat down and feel as if you can not get back up. That’s when it happens. God takes it all … He wants you to bring every care and concern to Him. He is the only one that truly has the answer any way. He knows every little thing that is troubling you even when you cannot find the words to express them. He hears your heart speaking when no words are uttered. That is when He reaches down His strong and mighty hand and turns all of your feelings of nothingness into something beautiful, magical, and beyond anything you ever thought possible. Slowly, He begins to turn things around. It may not happen over night. It may try your patience until they’ve run out or have run thin, but He’s at work in your life. When you’re down to nothing, God is up to something. Our job is to take it to God in prayer, trust and believe in Him, and He will do the rest. It’s called having Faith and Believing … give your feelings of being a nothing to Him and watch Him turn it into the most precious something you could ever imagine.

STOP!

Let Go … And Let God.

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We have all heard this saying before:

Let Go and Let God.

It’s a simple concept to just let go of all that is troubling us and let God handle it. It’s so simple, yet it’s … so … hard …. to … do!

Another saying you’re probably familiar with is:

Good morning. I will be handling all of your problems today, and I do not need your help. love, God

There isn’t a single one of us on the face of this earth that haven’t gone through something huge in our lives or maybe some are actually going through this life changing event right this very minute. It’s hard to simply let go of what is troubling us and push through.

It’s hard to wear those masks and force those smiles. We do it on a daily basis, even with our automated responses when people ask, “How are you?” We simply reply with, “Fine.” No one has to know that we’re dying inside. But, God knows. He sees, hears, and knows it all. I think that just as things are breaking our hearts here on this earth, they are breaking HIS heart as well. Just as we’re shedding tears, so is God in Heaven over us and our situations. He doesn’t want us to hurt, dear ones.

I may lose a few of you here, but I certainly hope not. There are some people that believe that no matter what situation you’re going through, God has placed this in your life to challenge you or to test you. What about bad things that just … happen … to good people? Some believe that God did those bad things. Others say He allows it to happen. Why? Because we all have free will in this life. It doesn’t make sense to us as to why He would use something so devastating and heart breaking, something that shatters us and cripples us … simply to “test” us. I don’t want to believe that my loving God, my God of mercy, peace, and grace caused all of the bad things in this life that devastate so many lives.

Something that I haven’t talked freely about, until now, is my sister’s suicide. Yet, I feel compelled to share it now more than ever. It’s not that I’m seeking sympathy in the least. No, my family and I do not want that. It’s not that I’m trying to say that my pain is greater than yours either. It may be different, but I’m certainly not measuring who has the greater or greatest heartache in life. I’m just saying that we ALL face things that bring us to our knees. We all face demons in different ways in our lives. For some, their demons can be their alcohol or drug addictions. For others, their demons may come in the form of uncontrollable anger and lashing out at others. And then, other demons present themselves with feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and feeling completely alone in this life. Sadly, my sister felt the latter after having her precious baby. With all of the hormones going wild in her body as it was, she was feeling completely overwhelmed as a new mother, and then the sleepless nights left her questioning her own worth as a mother. Things spiraled out of control, even though we did try to seek help.

In situations like I’ve just shared with you, people are either going to be drawn to God or pull away from Him. They may feel as if their only hope at this point is to cling to God and beg Him to help pick up the shattered pieces of our hearts when we, ourselves, question how we’ll be able to go on without our precious loved ones. When our hearts are breaking to the point that it hurts even to breathe, we cry out to God. OR, the opposite is true, and people get angry with God for allowing the absolute worst to happen. They turn their backs on God and stay cemented in their position that He had the ability to turn this situation around and yet He didn’t. Instead, The All Knowing, All Seeing, All Powerful … allowed … this to happen? Then there’s feelings of WHY? We cry out, we scream with our fists raised high in the air. Why God? WHY!? Why did you have to allow THIS? Why didn’t you stop her? You had the ability and the power, and yet … you did nothing. Again, we’re reminded of the free will aspect. And so we crumble and we sob deeply from our souls as we curl up into a ball in the fetal position for a little while.

Yes, letting go and letting God is so incredibly hard in moments like this. Let go … and let God?

Then I’m reminded of a bible verse that I’ve actually repeated a whole lot recently:

Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

It’s similar, in a way, to the whole “letting go” thing … but it’s a conscious choice to just … be still. When you don’t know what to do, why things happened as they did, and you don’t know how you’ll ever find the strength to draw in another breath or put another foot forward to force yourself out of bed in the mornings … just be still and know that He is God.

It’s not for us to question, although we do it plenty! We won’t ever have the answers that we seek in this lifetime. Only He knows why. Yet, I’m also reminded of another bible verse, one that this site is founded on:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

Some can and will even argue with this verse with what happened to my sister in 2001, though. What, exactly, were the plans God had for my sister? How about those great plans to prosper her and not to harm her? Where was her hope and her future? And even putting those words in black and white on this screen causes my heart to sink. We are taught we shouldn’t question … and yet, I’ve just typed out some questions that have tormented my entire family all of this time. It doesn’t mean I’ve forsaken my God. Not at all. It just means that I’m crying out in my pain for answers … that will not come this side of Heaven.

Could He have stopped my sister that hot July day? Yes …

Why didn’t He? We’ll never know.

Maybe God saw something around the curve in her life that He protected her from by allowing her the free will to take her own life at that moment in time. I’m not sure what to make of this, and I never will know why … or how this could happen … or why it was allowed … or what He could have possibly been protecting her from. All I know is that He is a God of mercy, and if she was in her right mind at the time, this never would have happened. Some of the most well meaning people have added insult to injury over these past years with the thought of suicide being the “unforgivable sin.” No, it’s not. God had mercy on her the moment she took her last breath. I have faith, and this I do believe. She’s in the arms of angels with God right now. I … believe. No, suicide isn’t the unforgivable sin. Denying that God exists, from what I’ve learned, is the unforgivable sin. Atheists fight to tell us how God isn’t real, and they argue their side just as strongly as Christians. They’ve denied Him, though, and we can only hope that at some point in their lives, before it is too late, they will come to discover that there IS a God and they will start believing in Him. Then, we can ultimately hope that they accept Jesus into their hearts before they take their last breath regardless of the cause of their deaths … natural causes, car accident, or even by their own hands (no, my sister was NOT an Atheist … I am arguing the point of what truly is an unforgivable sin … It’s not taking your own life as many have tried to tell me. What comfort did they think they were offering me to suggest that my sister was now in hell? Oh, I believe she lived her hell right here on this earth. Now, though, she’s in Heaven. I believe this with my whole heart. What, in my opinion, is the unforgivable sin? It is denying there is a God).

This post started out as something lighthearted and inspirational with a simple message of “letting go and letting God …” and yet it has gone way beyond that to the private corners of my heart that I’ve kept hidden for so long. At the time of this writing, it has been 12 years. Twelve very hard, gut wrenching years to endure this type of heartache. Not just me losing my only sister, my only sibling. My parents lost their oldest daughter, and they are now only left … with me. MY oldest daughter was only four at the time of my sister’s death, and although she has vague memories, she doesn’t “really” remember her Aunt Pam. My youngest daughter never knew her in this life as she came along many years after my sister’s death, yet she lives on in both of my daughter’s lives through funny stories that I tell them of how we were together growing up, the silly things we did, and the pictures that I have displayed of Pamela in my home.

I’d like to say that we’ve been able to maintain a wonderful, loving relationship with my sister’s only child … but alas, that has not been the case either as forces beyond our control have kept her from us pretty much the majority of this time. She knows us, and we know her … but we aren’t close as I had once envisioned, hoped, and dreamed …

This is me … being real about how I’m feeling.

Yet, despite the heartache, the pain, the devastation, and the shattered lives … I’m here on this site offering all of my love and heartfelt prayers to you all … because I care.

At times when you don’t know what else to do … when your pain is too great, let me suggest that the “letting go” that you do at this point is to just let it all go, honey. Let the tears flow … freely! FEEL the feelings … let the emotions take over one good time if you need to and LET IT GO! God is right there wrapping His loving arms around you comforting you as only He can … feel His presence so strongly in moments like this. Allow His love to soothe your soul. Let go of all of the hurt and pain, all of the questions, all of the shattered pieces of your heart that you’ve scooped up in your hands from off of the floor … and hand them to God. Extend your arms with your hands cupped toward Heaven and allow God to wipe away every single tear that you’ve cried as He takes the broken pieces of your heart and handles them with such care as He puts your lives back together. He can … and He will. It may not look like the life you once knew. It may be completely different now, but He CAN take something so devastating and make something good out of it. At that time in my life, I could not imagine what good could possibly EVER … EVER … come out of something like this … and then, Light Love Hope was born out of a desire to help others. That’s what this site is all about, and it’s been brought forth and presented to the world to offer love, support, and encouragement. When you feel as if no one loves you – we do. Allow us to show you. When you feel all alone, allow us to rally around you and come alongside you to offer that shoulder to cry on or that hand to hold. When you feel as if you are surrounded by darkness, take our hands as we walk together into the light … HIS light.

Oh dear friends … let go of all of the hurt and pain … lay it all down at His feet … and let God love on you a while.

Be still and know that He is God.

Be still and feel His love.

Here Today; Gone Tomorrow. Taking Things For Granted.

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Life is an ever changing thing. Each day brings new wonders for us to discover. If we take a step back and try to look at things from a different perspective, we can discover things we never noticed before in our every day routine.

We tend to get comfortable or in a rut in regards to certain aspects of our lives. We sometimes take for granted that things will always be the same and that people will always be here; yet in the back of our minds we know that is not true.

It is hard to not take things for granted. It is so easy to fall into that trap. The sad part is that it usually takes a sudden drastic change in things that turns our life upside down for the worse to get us to realize we have lost something that meant something to us. We are, then, filled with regret at what has happened. We beat ourselves up over what we could have done instead of what we did. We can’t go back and change things, we can only go forward.

Every day I am reminded to never take anything for granted. How so? I live with a heart condition where my heart randomly for no reason will beat irregularly or sometimes stop. I have been told that any time that this happens I could suffer a blood clot or a major stroke. This condition usually happened to me several times a day, so there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t experience this. Each time it scares me a lot. But, I don’t let this stop me from doing anything. I have, however, learned to be extremely thankful and grateful for what God has given me even though there are things that I feel are missing from my life.

Look at your life. Look at the goodness that has been given to you. Embrace those things. Treat them with respect and nurture them so that you never take them for granted; instead help them grow and you will grow with them. That is what it takes to never lose those things that mean the most to you.

Gregory C. Johnson
~The Quiet Computer Guy

How Do You Handle Yourself?

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That’s the question of the day:  How do you handle yourself?

When you’re feeling angry and upset, what do you do?  How do you help yourself to feel better?

So many times people take their anger out on others around them.  Often times it is the very ones that are supposed to be the closest to them that end up as the target of their anger.   This certainly is not the proper way to handle yourself when you’re upset or angry, though.

Do you yell and scream?   Do you use a trail of swear words?

Do you even resort to violence when things aren’t going your way?   If so, there is a much deeper problem than we are able to help you with here.   It is never a good idea to resort to violence of any kind, whether it is aimed at yourself or others.  If you have thoughts of harming yourself or others, please seek help immediately.   With that said, you can seek assistance through the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.  You may also call them 24 hours a day, seven days a week:  1-800-273-8255

If you feel that you are having trouble handling yourself and your anger, help is available.  You do not have to continue to live like this.   A resource that I have learned of from being involved with (in)courage is E-Counseling.   You can search for a counselor on this site and have sessions via phone or internet sessions.   The point is, help is available, even at the tips of your fingers now with counselors readily available to assist you.   There are also counselors that you can find in your local area so you can sit down face-to-face with them as well.

If you just feel the occasional stress or anxiety from your work day or even your family life and just need someone to talk to, we are happy here to help in any way that is needed.   If you think you would feel better to talk it out and just need to vent, we’re here for you for that.  If you need to write it out anonymously and send it to us in the form of comments or an email, that is okay, too.  We offer this just so you have an outlet and those feelings don’t stay bottled up inside of you.   If you would like prayer, we would be honored to pray for you.   Again, if you would like to share anonymously your prayer needs, that is fine.   Comments and emails are always welcome:  hislightlovehope @ gmail.com or shirley @ lightlovehope.com.

For me, it helps to have a trusted friend that I can talk to and pour my heart out to.   Some times it isn’t pretty in the beginning, but they allow me to come to them with the good, the bad, and the ugly.  They are there to help, to reassure, to offer a loving hand to hold if needed.  There’s nothing like feeling their love surround you.   They pray with me, for me, and over me.   They pray for protection, for safety, for relief of the stress and anxiety.   I also have a friend that believes strongly in meditation and has sent me CDs and books on the subject to try to clear my mind.  Other friends go with me to visit the beach where it is always calming and soothing for the soul.  Yet another friend has sent me their special sage as they believe strongly in cleansing all of the negativity around me.   She’s even prayed over the sage before sending it to me, too.

It is so important to be able to handle yourself in the heat of the moment without going off on those around you or even directing that anger at yourself.

If there is anything the Encouragement Team can do for you at any time, please … PLEASE … let us know.  We are always here for you.

Memorial Day

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Today we pause to remember the fallen.   We say a silent prayer for all of the families and friends that have lost loved ones as they served our country.

It’s not about grilling out, taking the boat out, or pool parties.

It’s about the greatest sacrifice that many men and women have given for the sake of freedom.

Freedom isn’t free!  It comes with a huge price that many have paid.

All gave some.  Some gave all.

 

Some Gave All

 

The Power of Encouragement

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I’m sure that at some point in our lives we can all say that we could relate to feeling “down in the dumps.”  If things haven’t been going our way, as much as we try, we may not always be able to hold our heads up and keep a smile on our faces.  We can try really hard, but some times, let’s face it, it’s just hard to breathe let alone force all of the muscles in our faces to do what inside we can’t … smile.

Have you ever really thought about the many “masks” that we wear?   We surely can’t allow the world to see how we truly feel, so we hide behind the “masks” and pretend that all is well when inside we’re hurting.  Deep within our core, there’s a ache.  It … just … hurts!

It’s times like this … more than ever … that we need someone to come alongside of us with encouragement for our hearts.  They may not be able to “do” anything about the situation that is troubling us or the sadness that we’re feeling in our hearts.  What they can do is love us, encourage us, support us and just be “there.”

There is such power in encouragement!   When your heart is hurting, it is quite comforting to feel the loving arms of your friend wrapped securely around you letting you know that they’re there … and they are not letting you go!   It helps to have a reassuring hand to hold or even just a voice on the other end of the phone.

When you feel low and as if you can’t figure your own “stuff” out, why not give another the gift of your encouragement?  It has been proven that if you are sad, depressed, or hurting that it helps if you reach out to others.  It will help you feel better to encourage someone else and love on them a little while.  Think of how you’ve felt when others have reached out to you.  It’s a beautiful thing to feel the love that another has for you.

Aside from the power of encouragement from a friend, there is great encouragement to be found within the pages of one book in particular.  The Bible is full of God’s promises and His love for us.   He also speaks about friends in His word:

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:  If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

John 15:12-15

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.  Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

Proverbs 17:17

A friend loves at all times …

One of my dear friends has been having a hard time lately, and they were feeling especially down today.  It hurts when your friends hurt.  You want to reach out and help in some way.  You offer.  You tell them to let you know if there is anything … anything at all … that you can do for them.  Then you pray for them and whisper words of encouragement into the universe to them and for them … and they can feel it … they can truly feel the power of encouragement at times like these.

With that said, I’d like to introduce you to the Encouragement Team of Light Love Hope.   By clicking here, you will be taken to a new page which will show the beautiful smiling faces of some very important people in my life.   These precious souls are here, just as I am, to come alongside you and love you, encourage you, and support you.   There are many, many more precious people in my life that are not on the page as writers for this site, yet they continue to speak to my heart on a daily basis.  One particular lady that I love and hold so dear to my heart resides many, many states away (Oklahoma), and yet, she’s like my sister.  She’s not on this site … yet … as part of my Encouragement Team, but she speaks to my heart on a daily basis.  I love her … and I hope she knows without a shadow of a doubt what her friendship means to me.

There IS power in encouragement … such power … such beautiful, overwhelming, life changing power.  Share your gift of encouragement with someone today.   They will be blessed completely … and so will you in the process!

Close – Five Minute Friday

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You know what time it is, right?  It’s time for FIVE MINUTE FRIDAY!!!

Today’s prompt word is CLOSE.

Are you ready to write without regarding to getting it “just” right?  Set your timer and see where your mind takes you!

Ready?

Set?

GO!

Near or far, where ever you are … you’re always close to my heart.

Though miles may separate us and people threaten to prevent us from being together, they cannot take this from us.  Ever.  We are always together and close because of the connection of our heart.

I’ll never forget when my daughter was younger and red faced with tears streaming had to go with her dad every other weekend and weeks in the summer for visitation.   She was only a year old when we separated, and this was hard on her to be away from me just as much as it was for me to be away from her.  She was so little and didn’t understand what was going on and why we had to be apart.  As the years went by, she understood a little more, but it did not stop the tears from flowing each and every time we had to be apart.  I would lean in close to her and whisper that she was always in my heart just like I was always in her heart.  I would reassure her that no one could ever take that away from us.  Ever!   Although we weren’t allowed to talk on the phone even at that point when she had to be away, she could rest in the assurance of my love and that although we were separated by many miles between us … we were always close because of the love we have in our hearts for each other.

Now, my daughter is older … entering her Senior year in the Fall.   She will be preparing to go out into the real world after graduation.  She’ll be preparing to leave for college.   She admitted yesterday that she’s excited yet frightened for this last year of high school.   I leaned in close once more and whispered that no matter what she will always be in my heart just like I am always in her heart.  No one will ever be able to take that away from us … no miles … no distance … nothing!   We will always be close and connected at the heart because of the strong love and mother/daughter bond that we share.

STOP!

Memories Of The Way We Were …

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Today wasn’t my usual work day.  Instead of processing all of the invoices, keying entries, writing checks and handling things in Accounting, I was sent out to help the family of this company that I work for.   It seems that the elderly gentleman in the family has been moved to a retirement/assisted living home.   This gentleman once owned the company but passed it down to the next generation who has now passed it down to the next generation as well.  While I did not have the pleasure of working with this now elderly gentleman, I have heard a lot about him through the years since I did work for this family owned company.  I have worked with and for this elderly gentleman’s son as well as now working for his grandsons.

What could this family possibly need my help with outside of work in the office?   Since the elderly gentleman has moved, his home is no longer occupied so his son and grandsons have been going through his belongings in an effort to downsize and eventually sell the home.  While going through his things, the family stumbled upon moments in time that were captured in the form of pictures, letters, poems, postcards, and cards.   It is their desire to preserve these things, thus the reason they called me to help scan in all of these memories.

I will be honest and say that this hasn’t been an easy task today as there are a LOT of things to scan in.  I will literally be at this for days on end, and I’m not even sure I’ll be finished after the three days they’ve asked me to commit to for this project.   Greg recently wrote about capturing pictures and how he jokingly refers to me as The Picture Queen, but honestly, I think this gentleman (or his wife) have me beat!   They had so many photo albums and scrapbooks piled high for me to scan!   You can look at it like there’s so much work, how will I ever get through this … OR you can look at it like a privilege to be allowed to be a part of preserving cherished memories!   I am choosing to view it in that light.  It changes everything when you change your view of things.   It truly does make a difference.

And so I set out on my journey of preserving memories.

I came across pictures of this family through the years, which is honestly what I had expected when I started.  However, I came across things that thrilled and fascinated me completely, too!

A lot of the information written on the pages of the scrapbooks and photo albums were written in German!   Since the pages were literally falling apart in my hands, I had to take each picture off of the page and place it carefully onto the glass of the scanner.   I also had to write a caption taken from the words written on the scrapbook pages and place it on the glass of the scanner as well so the family would be able to identify with the people, places, and things in the pictures when they take a walk down memory lane by going through all of these files after I’ve completed this task.

In addition to the pictures, there were pages of poems that were also written in German, as well as letters … oh the letters that this individual wrote and received!   There were cards mixed in as well, but it was the letters that struck me the most.  The date was written so eloquently at the top, almost in Calligraphy.   I remember sitting back in the chair marveling at this dirty piece of paper when I realized the date across the top!   It was the year 1918.  I’m not kidding you.  That was one of the dates in the papers that I scanned today.   Isn’t it amazing that I held a piece of history in my hands?  While I’m not sure what those German words were saying, I can imagine in my mind a love letter just pouring their hearts out to the love of their lives; their soul mates.   I can imagine the letters being written during a war as they were clinging to the other person miles and states away while they served our country.  While they were facing the enemy head on with their weapons and fighting for their lives and our freedom, they paused for a moment to share their written words with the one that they loved with their entire being.   And I … I had the privilege of preserving these moments today!

There was an artist in the family as I found numerous drawings from this individual.  One drawing in particular caught my eye as I reached for the clipping out of the magazine.  Just as I reached to place it on the glass, the drawing  from underneath it was revealed.  In all of it’s beauty and glory, there was the picture that this individual had drawn based on the clipping from the magazine.  This person had talent!   I smiled as I marveled at every line from his pencil, the way it was shaded in and how smoothly it transitioned into the next line to form the perfect picture!

Why am I telling you all of this today?   Because one of these days someone will be going through OUR things to see what treasures we have left behind.  Will our families wish to preserve our memories?  Will our families soak in all of the beauty and wonder of journals that we have left behind, or will they cringe at the words that jump off of the page at them?   Will they consider it an honor to read your words, thinking of them as simply beautiful, passionate, and so full of life?   Or will they close the book never to open it again?

One of these days we are all just going to be a memory … will you be a good one?   I certainly hope that my family and friends will remember me with such a warm feeling in their hearts and feel that I’ve touched their lives in a good and positive manner when my time on earth is no more and I’ve gone to be with Jesus.  I hope that they will search my house for treasures left behind in the form of poems, hand written letters, and yes, pictures … lots and lots of pictures.  I hope they will cherish them as much as I did while penning them or capturing those moments with my camera.

I desire to live a good life and show my family and friends how much they mean to me.  I don’t want to reserve this for a special occasion to tell them “then” of how I feel.  No, I want to live it to the fullest each and every day not letting a single minute go by without them knowing in their hearts how I feel about them.   I want them to know … and I want them to FEEL it!   Long after I’m gone, I want them to still feel me with them in their hearts … I want to love that strongly, that completely, that passionately that they forever feel me with them and a part of their lives.

This gentleman traveled the world … literally.   There were two photo albums packed full of postcards from different places that he had traveled.  They weren’t pictures of where he’s been that he’d taken, but instead, they were postcards of these places.  Yet, the memories those postcards provoked in him … I’d like to imagine that they still stir in him to this very day.  He lived his life.  He did the things his heart desired and the proof is within all of the pages of these photo albums and scrap books.  He lived … he loved … he did as his heart desired.

Are you living your life to the fullest?  There’s so much out there to do and see.  Are you doing the things that bring you the most joy?  Are you seeing new and exciting places?  Are you engaging in things that your heart desires, or are you waiting to do it “one day.”    Ah dear one, don’t wait … “one day” may never come.   Don’t look back with regrets.  When you’re older, like this gentleman, don’t sit there and say, “If only I had …”  Go out now and DO it so you’ll have beautiful memories to reflect back on later.

Leave your own mark on the world!  Leave your loved ones with fond memories of the way we were!

Do you really listen?

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Today my question for you readers is do you listen? Do you really listen or do you just think you listen? I have run into several situations recently that have shown me that people don’t really listen to what others are saying if it is not what they want to hear.

My first encounter with this was at the supermarket. For a little background, this supermarket has a rewards program that lets you get to up 50 cents off of the price of gas depending on the amount you have purchased. An older gentleman was standing taking with the customer service clerk when I walked. He was telling the clerk that the amount on his card was incorrect. After each purchase, your balance is shown on the receipt. The clerk was very nice and told the gentleman that her computer system cannot show his past transactions and that she would give him a phone number to call the central office to get things cleared up. He completely ignored what she said to him and kept going on that his balance was wrong, the program sucked (much stronger words were used), and that he was going to throw the @#!@ card away. Again she repeated what she had said. He kept on with his tirade. This went on for more than five minutes while I was standing there watching the scene unfold. The clerk was wonderful and never got upset with him even though he was irate.

He obviously didn’t want to listen because it wasn’t the result he wanted. He wanted immediate satisfaction no matter what.

My most recent experience with someone not wanting to listen happened this morning at work while I was giving a training session. I was coming towards the end of the training when the boss finally walks in. He sits down and I start to review what we had gone over. All of a sudden, the boss goes off on a tangent that has nothing to do with m y topic. He starts to rant that I should not be doing any programming work to create a better system without being requested to do so. I explained to him that I was given a request and I had completed that task several weeks ago. But he would not listen and kept ranting on this other topic. Several people in the room spoke up about how this feature had gone through company procedure and a formal request was given to me and that I had completed the task. No matter what anyone said, he just kept on and on. It was finally mentioned that the initial request had come from him. That didn’t even stop the ranting. Again, all he was concerned with was what he wanted even if he had no clue as to what had transpired and been accomplished. All this did was to spread a feeling of ill will through all the employees that the meeting.

I try to listen to people when they talk to me. I really try my best to pay attention to what they say. In doing so, I really get to pick up on things and get to know the person more than they realize. Several people have asked me how I am able to come up with such great gifts for people during birthdays and holidays. It is because I listen. People will tell you things about themselves without ever realizing it. You blog hostess can confirm that as we have known each other for over fifteen years and she still seems to get a bit surprised at gifts I come up with for their family.

Many of my friends have gone through a divorce. In watching them interact with their spouses, it is obvious to me that one or both of them don’t listen to what the other is trying to say. They get so wrapped up in what they want, they completely block out the other person. Then they wonder what is going on when problems start.

So I put out another challenge. Think about whether or not you really listen. Start paying attention to what people are saying.  Some of my most entertaining moments come from just listening to other people talking while out in public. You just might be surprised what you hear.

~The Quiet Computer Guy

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