Repeat
I have been accused of having an adulterous affair. The person that accused me is a repeat offender. There is absolutely NO truth to their accusations, but that does not stop them from believing the lies they fabricate in their own mind.
I was contacted by this person two years ago via text messages, which I still have saved, by the way. There was no truth to her allegations at that time, nor is there any truth at this time either. But it does not stop her mind from running wild with thoughts nor her mouth from spouting untruths.
I just felt I needed to put that out there, since I know she reads this page. ~Hi there, welcome back~
The person I’m accused of having an adulterous affair with is someone that has been depressed. Since my sister committed suicide 17 years ago, I am not going to let ANY ONE go around feeling depressed if I know about it. I will try to help in some way. That is just my nature. NO, that does not make me an adulterer, and I do NOT need to wear the scarlet letter A across my chest!
If I can be a bright spot in their day and just listen … I will do that. And that is all I have done. I’ve encouraged and supported. I’ve been a friend when they’ve needed one the most.
That is the extend of it.
AND my husband knows ALL about it. I have not kept this a secret, as he knows I help in any way I can when someone is hurting.
I realize that despite me putting it out there, it won’t matter. Therefore, all I can do is release you to God. I am lifting this entire situation up to Him so He can handle it and work it out.
Believe whatever has been fabricated in your mind. I cannot change that, I realize.
Despite what you have said to others or what you believe, I AM an honorable woman who refuses to be bullied, harassed, or my name slandered just because you’re upset with the direction things have taken with your marriage. Honestly, I feel sorry for you. If he’s done things in the past that you continuously bring up, that’s on yall. NOT ME. I have done NOTHING but try to help you both. I realize that is hard for you to believe. There have been times that I’ve “counseled” on your behalf! And there have been times I have taken up for you in the past and tried to get him to see things from your perspective. That’s something you did not know, did you? When you’re accusing me of having an affair with your husband, I’ve actually been over here offering suggestions to HELP YOU and YOUR MARRIAGE.
Yet, I’m the bad guy?
I’m the one you texted two years ago, and I was really nice to you despite what you were saying back then. Now I’m the one you ask others about referring to me as “that woman Shirley” and then you call me up on the job while I’m trying to work? That is harassment. Perhaps I was mistaken in the past about being told by the sheriff’s deputy that it was unlawful use of a telephone (which he stated while I was in his office concerning three individuals harassing my daughter by phone/text), but he clarified it this week and said it’s actually worse now because what you’re doing is harassment. Do not try to contact me ever again – you have been put on notice that it is harassment by the sheriff, by me, and my employer. My employer nor I will tolerate it on a professional level or a personal level.
Please know that I wish you well. I hope things work out for you two, I honestly do. But please know that I am NOT THE CAUSE of ANY of the problems you two have had. The person you see every day in the mirror – and he as well – is responsible. Not some innocent person that has only offered support and encouragement.
I will not change myself for you. I will stand firm and not allow my name to be tarnished any further. I will protect myself in any way I need to in order to insure my name is not slandered any further nor am I harassed when I’m trying to do my job or when I get home.
And I hope you get the help you need for whatever is going on inside of you that causes so much hatred and rage toward others.
I wish you well. My heart goes out to you and your family; your children especially. And I hope you can save your marriage. I truly do. You have it inside of you to make every effort to change and become more positive, to show love and affection, to really strive to be your absolute best. And I hope you do, sweetheart.
I am NOT the enemy no matter how you want to paint that picture.
And I am NOT having an adulterous affair with your husband. I have a beautiful family, and I strive every day to be the best mother I can be for my daughters. Please do the same for your children. They are watching you and your behavior. You are their role model. Make sure you’re a good one.
I wish you peace, joy, and love. I release you … I am not harboring any ill feelings toward you. I forgive you for your accusations two years ago and more recently this very week.
And I am praying for you.
May GOD reach down and touch your heart and change your outlook, your actions and reactions … and replace them with LOVE and kindness toward others.
Hate: It has caused a lot of problems in this world,
but it has not solved one yet.
~Maya Angelou
Close
As we close this chapter on the final Write 31 Day Challenge … I have mixed emotions almost like I did when this challenge began at the beginning of October. I am thankful for it, though, as it pulled me out of my writing hibernation and made me really focus on something besides the storms in my life that were raging when it first began.
It has been a sweet relief, in a way. An avenue to get my thoughts out of my head and do something constructive to encourage someone else along the way, perhaps.
Writing allows you to release what you hold bottled up inside. Some things you just don’t want to speak .. and so you write it down, and it takes the burden off of your shoulders. You feel a sense of relief having gotten the words OUT.
Other topics have been so fun to speak of – and my heart dances at the good news that has come into all of our lives.
The storms may rage in your life, too, but please be encouraged knowing that they aren’t here to stay. Things change and improve on a daily basis at times … other times there seems to be days without any end in sight. But know this. God will be right there beside you. When you feel you can’t go on, He will lift you up into His strong arms and CARRY you! This I promise to you! You will not EVER walk alone. EVER
Close the chapter on the bad and usher in the good.
It’s like I told someone close to me recently – life will go on. Whether we stay together or we part ways, my life is improving and good things are happening. There is a little baby I can see on the horizon. And that gives me the joy deep within my heart, right along with my two daughters who are my life, heart, and soul.
Live life to the fullest … despite the trials. You will persevere, too, my darlings … and you will be stronger for everything you have gone through.
Take God’s hand, put your faith and trust in Him … and you will not go wrong in this life!
Voice
While we were away in Tennessee, my precious niece called in a puddle of tears. My heart broke when I heard her crying, and I feared the worst. Thankfully, she hadn’t lost the baby – which was one of our greatest fears and one of the reasons she was waiting until exactly three months along to announce her pregnancy to the world. Her little heart was hurting, and I wanted to reach through the phone and hug her. Living two hours away is hard enough as it is on a good day, but factor in her heart wrenching tears while we were away on our trip with no way to hurry back to her … it was all I could do to sit there holding the phone that night when what I really wanted to do was hold HER!
I heard her voice cracking as she tried to speak through her sobs. I mustered up all the will I had inside of my body to talk her through this when what I really wanted to do was cry right along with her. Knowing that would make the situation worse for her, I head it together and encouraged her the absolute best I could from all those miles away.
We talked for hours right there in the rental car in the parking garage in Nashville, Tennessee. Nothing mattered at that moment in time except for her and soothing her little heart.
She is full of fears, as you can imagine being so young and with this being her first baby. But it’s even more than that because she’s so afraid she is going to have postpartum depression like her mother (my sister) had. She cried, and my heart longed to hold her in my arms and cradle her head against my chest as I rock her back and forth like I used to do when she was a little girl. But I was handicapped being apart like we were. My voice is the only way I had to reach her and the only tool I could utilize at that moment, so I spoke softly words of love, encouragement, and support into her ear … and she soaked up and hung on every single word.
I told her we’d talk to the doctor again, like we had on the first appointment I accompanied her to, about preventative medicine so she won’t have postpartum depression. I told her we’d monitor her and be right there with her every step of the way, if she’d allow it.
She cried over my sister not being here … “Why did she have to go? Why did she have to leave me? She should be here NOW …” as her tears trailed off … my heart was in a million pieces on the floor board of the white Kia we were in. My words were caught in my throat for a moment as I choked back the tears again.
I felt this 17 years ago, and that night, I felt it as strongly as ever to hear her very own daughter speak the words I’ve said many times since my sister has been gone.
We needed her so much … if only she could have seen that back then.
My niece told me that she would not be able to make it through this without me. “I need you, Aunt Shirley … you’ve always been so encouraging and supportive, I cannot make it through this without you … I can’t …”
Those words gathered up all of the shattered pieces of my heart that were scattered on the floor. Magically, those pieces were mended back together and my heart was in one piece once again as I reassured her, “I am right here, darling, and I will help you through this. I love you. I’m not going any where … I will be there for you every step of the way, as much as you allow me to be. I promise you!”
And my words to her appeared to be like a soothing balm, as she began to grow more calmer. Her tears that were falling like rain began to dry and soon a more perkiness returned in her voice as she began to talk about all the cute baby outfits she has seen. By the end of our conversation, she was noticeably better and you could tell her smile had returned.
My niece needs me. And I will be there!
