Someone’s thoughts may be as deep as the ocean, but if you are smart, you will discover them.

Proverbs 20:5 CEV

In this chapter, Cindi and Hugh talk about going deeper by sharing their heart with each other.  You would think that this comes naturally with couples, but a lot of times you will find that people actually have to work at it.  There is a certain amount of vulnerability that comes with opening your heart and allowing your spouse inside.  But it is well worth it when you do.

Hugh talks about writing in his journal through the years.  It isn’t in any particular order, just thoughts that he’s had or things he feels he’s been given by God.  Even the most random things can go inside of that journal.  One day, he decided to share his journal with Cindi, and it left such an impression when he did.  She describes it by saying:

” … something in my heart skipped a beat and changed toward him.  I felt there was a room inside of his soul that he had unlocked and let me into.  And it was wonderful.”

Through the years, I have written poetry as a way to express myself.  My most favorite poems were those that spoke of love.  One of my dear friends took all of those poems I had written and made a hard bound book for me which I still have and treasure to this day.  (Thank you, Gregory C. Johnson!)  This book of poetry has touched many different people’s hearts since he gave me this wonderful gift many years ago.  My husband has gotten a chance to pick up this book and read through, feeling touched with every poem that he has read.  Why?  Because there is a piece of me in every single poem.  It’s my heart overflowing onto the pages of that book, reaching out and up to touch the heart of the one reading it.  This book has not only allowed my husband to see inside of the secret chambers of my heart, but my children have read through this book of poetry as well.  My poems range from romantic love poems, to poetry about when my children were born and as they were growing up, to the tragic loss of my sister, and on to poems I have written about my parents also.  Each one is now preserved in this hard bound book with beautiful roses on the cover.

While my husband doesn’t write poetry, he will take a piece of paper and just start jotting down notes.  One day we were cleaning out his work truck, and there were all these notes written down where he was sorting through some things that were bothering him.  Reading those notes allowed me to see into his heart and to see things from his point of view (which is hard to do if it’s regarding the two of you or things between you in your marriage).  It was an eye opener.  Some of the sweetest things have been found on random pieces of paper that he’s gotten out and just started pouring his heart out.

He has a man cave, i.e. his shop, where he has all of his equipment, along with the 69 Camaro, stored.  I have always known that there were a few file folders in the cabinet in the far corner of the shop, but I never looked to see what it contained until about a month ago.  We were both out there together cleaning the shop when I reached in to see what, exactly, was in there.  Low and behold, there were notes he had written to me – some he never gave to me either – back in the late 1990s and early 2000s.  I sat with that file folder in my lap reading through his words and feeling so many different types of emotions flowing through me.  He cared enough to write it all down, even when he chased me for two years and I had very little to do with him.  I had gone through a horrible divorce, and I was not the least bit interested in a romantic relationship with anyone at that point.  He would not give up, though, and he continued to pursue me … for two years!  So, these notes that were in that cabinet were his thoughts during that time period as well.

What finally got me to consider giving him a chance after the two years that he chased me?  He asked me to listen to a song by the Goo Goo Dolls entitled Iris.  I was not the least bit concerned about this song.  Almost in desperation, he begged:

Please … listen to the song because it’s how I feel about you.

And so, I listened …

And I’d give up forever to touch you
‘Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be
And I don’t wanna go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
When sooner or later it’s over
I just don’t wanna miss you tonight

And I don’t want the world to see me
‘Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can’t fight the tears that ain’t coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you’re alive

And I don’t want the world to see me
‘Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don’t want the world to see me
‘Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don’t want the world to see me
‘Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

… and then it hit me.   With the words of the song ringing in my ear, I knew that I hadn’t given him a fair chance.  He just wanted me to know who he was … to get to know him … and yet, I hadn’t.  It was at that point that I decided to tear down the walls that I had built around my heart and let him in so that I could get to know who he was.

While it can be scary when you’re allowing yourself to be vulnerable with your mate, sharing your heart will form a deeper connection.  Tear those walls down and let your spouse inside the depths of your heart.

We hope you’ll join us tomorrow for …Talk More, Touch More.

For all of the previous posts in this series, click here.

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