Let us stop just saying we love each other; let us really show it by our actions.

1 John 3:18 NLT

Remember all the little things you used to do before you were married? The things you did “just because” to show how much you loved and cared for your mate? Why do those little things have to stop when we get married? They don’t have to! Honestly. There is nothing in the marriage handbook that says we have to stop. We just fall into a routine and get comfortable in our marriages, and then those little things begin to fall by the wayside. What if those little things helped reassure your spouse?  What if they were exactly what your spouse needed to feel so loved, so appreciated, and so valued … and yet you stopped doing it? That happens far more than we realize in marriages. Then we wonder why we’ve “lost that loving feeling.”  You HAVE to keep the fires burning!

It is one thing to say that you love someone … and it is quite another to actually show them.  What have you done lately to make your spouse truly feel your love?   I’m not talking about buying things … that’s not love.  I’m talking about acts of service out of the love you have in your heart without announcing “I mowed the lawn … I did the laundry … I put the toilet seat down …” (Men!)   Believe me.  Women notice.  They don’t need an announcement from you.  They see what you’ve done, and they are touched.  Don’t expect a big celebration just because you’ve done chores around the house either because she does stuff without praise all day long.  It’s expected of her, and she just does it.  Yes, it would be nice if her work was recognized, but she does not announce what she’s done to have praise poured upon her.  She appreciates it more if you recognize her efforts yourself.

What about gently touching your spouse in a way that you know they love.  If she’s in the kitchen cooking, why don’t you come up behind her and wrap your arms around her waist as you kiss the nape of her neck?  Those little things that you used to do mean so much.  Don’t stop doing them!   Even the times when you’d fall to your knees in front of her, hugging her around her waist as you rested your head lovingly on her.  That is complete vulnerability right there when you do that, and she appreciates this signal that you are open to communication and to being close to her.

What about going to bed at the same time so that you two can cuddle together?  There’s a lot to be said about spooning, ladies and gentlemen!  That is one of my favorite things to do.  Just laying together with my honey with his arms wrapped around me feeling so secure in his love.  I could drift off to sleep like that.  Yet, it’s hard to do that if you don’t go to bed at the same time.  Now if she went to bed hours earlier and is already snoozing when you come to bed, do not wake her up to do this as that might not go over well if you disrupt her sleep.  That’s why it’s important to go to bed together.  There is a lot to be said for pillow talk, too!  This gives you an opportunity to reconnect at the end of the day when it’s just the two of you.  The children are not around, and you are able to whisper sweet nothings … but it’s impossible if you don’t go to bed at the same time!

Writing notes and sending text messages are another way to express your love, and they are little things that don’t cost a single thing.  BUT, make sure that there’s action behind those words that you write.  Otherwise, they won’t mean anything!  You can say all day long that you love someone while your actions are screaming something besides love!

Find a way to make your spouse feel special just like you did when you two were dating.  You did everything within your power to “woo” her back then.  Why did you stop just because you won her over?  You chased her for years, and now that you’ve caught her, you’ve just stopped?  Oh no … it doesn’t stop just because you now have her.  If you want to keep her, you’ll continue doing all of the things you know that make her feel your love.

This isn’t just one sided aimed at men.  Women need to work hard to ensure that their husbands feel their love, too.  Whether it’s making his favorite meal without being asked or giving him those words of affirmation that he craves, we have to do our part, too.

These simple acts of love still mean so much!

Join us tomorrow for … Laughing Together.

For all posts in this series thus far, click here.

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