Change is hard.  We all know that.  With each thing you change, there is some pain involved.  It’s no different when you’re changing jobs, if you’re leaving under bad circumstances, or things in your life have gone crazy and you need to change things there.

I have a situation I’m facing right now that pains me greatly.  I cry.  I sob deep, heart wrenching sobs into my hands gripping my face in despair as I try to figure out my next step.  It’s difficult when I find it hard to even take in the next breath of air.  Yet, I have two beautiful daughter looking up to me, and I cannot let them down.

Living with someone that wreaks emotional havoc on you and your entire family is hard.  So is dealing with a bi-polar person or an addict of any kind, whether it’s a sex addict, porn addict, a drug addict or alcoholic.

You stare into the mirror, now see puffy eyes and a red nose looking back at you, and you know it’s time for a change.  Your heart cannot take doing this over and over and over again.

The “I’m sorry’s” are not enough.

The “But we love each other” fall short also at a time like this.

We are only allotted so many days on the face of this earth.  Why must there be so much struggle and strife in one individual’s life?  I’m not having a pity party over here.  I am asking real questions that only God knows the answer to, yet they linger in my mind.

I rationalize that it will hurt for a while.  There will be pain as I mourn the loss, just like you would if someone passed away.  Yet, the emotional turmoil is almost too great at times.  My heart can only take so much, and I’m not speaking figuratively in a romantic sort of way.  Health wise, you will begin to suffer if you live in this unhealthy environment.

Please pray that this change will go as smoothly as it can under the circumstances, with rational adults with level heads prevailing.

Pray for my children’s hearts and lives as we face the pain of change.