Do you ever wonder why you bother with some people?  No matter how hard you try, nothing you say or do seems good enough for them.  You won’t make them happy no matter what you do.  They are bound and determined to look down their noses at you regardless, so leave them to their miserable selves then!

A person chooses to be this way.

They are given the same opportunity we all are;  24 hours in a day to enjoy to the fullest.  Instead, what they do is complain, find fault, and surely cannot ever look in the mirror to see what role they are playing in all of this.  It’s always someone else … never them.  For they can never do any wrong.  Hardly!  What they fail to see is what is so painfully obvious to those around them!

It is okay to distance yourself from people like this.  Do NOT feel any guilt whatsoever when you finally put those boundaries in place either.  It’s a completely healthy thing to distance yourself from those who only wish to hurt you with what they say and do.

My daughter has had to learn this lesson the hard way.  She’s been hurt through the years, and her heart tried to forgive and go back for more each time.  The assaults the people launched on her heart was too great, though, and as she reached adulthood, she hung out the “Do Not Disturb” sign and has had zero contact with those who shattered her self worth and self confidence for years.  When she was a vulnerable child and teenager, when those people should have protected her from evil, they were the very ones launching their attacks on her.  It was hard to sit back and watch this happening knowing there wasn’t anything I could do to help her.  I tried, oh Lord how I tried to talk sense into these people, but it fell on deaf ears each and every time.  The result?  She has cut them out of her life.  THEY are the ones that are missing out.  Honestly.  They don’t get to see the once caterpillar now turned into this absolutely gorgeous butterfly spread her wings and fly high.  They missed out on important events in her life when they should have been celebrating HER but instead chose to berate her to the point she wanted nothing more to do with them.    It broke this mother’s heart watching it all unfold, but I could not be more proud of the woman she has become.  She finally realized her worth and said, “Enough is enough!  I will NOT be mistreated like this ANY more by them.”

What she did was extremely mature and healthy, and I applaud her for the boundaries she put in place with those that once tried to rip her to shreds with their words and actions.  I know first hand how that feels as I was once their target as well.  I chose not to use the term “victim” because I will NOT allow myself to be a victim, not with them or any one.

In the end, they are the losers.  I firmly believe this with everything that I am.

They won’t get to celebrate with her when she gets her degree, and they will not be present when she walks down the aisle to marry the love of her life.  They won’t participate in any aspect of her life unless she has a tremendous change of heart toward the offenders.

It’s sad, too.  Because they lose.  They have lost for years now, but they probably have been too self absorbed to realize it.  Yet, as time marches on and they are not allowed to be a part of her life, they will be filled with regret.  I believe at some point, whether they want to admit it or not, it will finally hit them.    And they will realize much too late that they really were the biggest losers here.